Posted on April 24, 2009

Vikasendu Agarwal

This election has started a whole new ball game in India-throwing Shoes at leaders.This game of Iraqi origin has become very popular in India though we do not have experienced players yet, all three have missed their targets till date.

It was a reporter who started the Indian version of game by hurling a shoe at our Home minister -he missed the target, was evacuated, arrested,interviewed, released, reinterviewed and forgiven twice-once by Congress party and second time by P.Chidambaram-within a span of hardly an hour. I’m still trying to figure out why he might have to be forgiven twice!DidChidambaram have no faith in forgiving capacity of Congress as a party, what have been going on in his mind-Juta khayen ham aur mafi de party ka official spokesperson,ye kahan ka nyay hai.Whatever ,now, where does it leave the doubly forgiven culprit, what might he be thinking-meri jindagi bhar ki mehnat barbad kar di,ek baar juta phenka,who bhi laga nahin aur ab agar roj ek congressi mujhe maf karega to meri to puri jindagi maf hote-hote nikal jayegi. Anyway, no damage to anybody except for the person who picked up the shoe and is still unconscious .
Final outcome for the nation-A leading anaesthesia making company has offered the reporter a handsome amount for all his used socks, he has accepted the offer and company’s share price has skyrocketed resulting in gains for millions. Congress are now proudly singing their new slogan byJairam Ramesh-JUTA KHAYENGE,SAMRADHDHI LAYENGE.
Second to go for it was a retired school teacher in Haryana,he was fully drunk when he decided to take a shot at Naveen Jindal,A congress MP andindustrialist. It is common belief that the booze company had sponsored him and they were planning to use the episode for promotion of their brand as a Concentration Enhancing Liquor had the shoe not missed the MP. Immediately after hitting the MP ,the teacher was supposed to address a press conference where he would have disclosed the name of the brand and made his booty. Now there is some confusion in the booze company as the teacher is saying that he be paid the agreed amount in full because he missed the aim due tocompany’s fault-when he said that he wanted last peg on the rocks, he was taken to a rock about 10 metres away from the place where he was originally planned to sit and as a result he could not take aim properly. Now he says that if the company does not pay him the agreed amount he will call the Press conference and disclose the brand name.
Third one took aim at LK Advani,his slipper missed Advani by kilometres and had the electronic media not highlighted his chappal holding hand repeatedly by encircling it with a red fiery line, nobody could have noticed him and we might have lost this saga of bravery. Advani was visibly upset after the incident for many reasons. First one being -Itne bade kad ke neta ko miss kaise kar diya. Second, he learnt that the chappal was a local cheap brand made of recirculated plastic collected by some Bangladeshis. Third, the person who threw the chappal was an old RSS/BJP worker who had attended Shakhas for many years. Advani was upset at what the Shakhas are teaching these days-one person who claims to be going to Shakhas since early childhood can’t take aim at such an important target, What is the future of RSS then .
A Bihari Bhai has developed a technique which gives an accuracy of 97.368 %at a distance of upto 25 meters with a certain brand of shoes thrown after consuming a certain brand of booze taken with a certain brand of soda and is starting a school called “Juta Mar Desh Sudhar School”.When asked how he reached the figures of 97.368 and 25 ,he told “Simple hai Bhaiyya ,ee hamar lucky nambarwa bhaye”.When asked about particular shoe ,liquor and soda brands,he said “Kaa tohar akal bhaisan charane gayi rahin,arre bhaiyya,bhizniss kar rahe hain koi majak nahin na hai,ee company sumpany sub hamarsponsor bhail ,ee ka jikarwa na Karin to dukan kaise chalin,poora ka poora vigyapanwa ka kharcha ee deban rahin hai bhaiyya”.Asked about his future plans he tells “Bhizniss bahut potensal wala hai bhaiyya,ek bar larka log juta nishane par marne lagen phir dekho.Hum teen category ka larka taiyyar karenge,ek jo bare netaon par jute uchhalenge-gaur kariye ye marenge nahin sirf uchhalenge ,juta stage ke pass se hota hua neeche gir jayega.Juuta aur phekne wala donon janta ko saaf-saaf dikhai dega,4 news channel ko hum libe kubrage bech diye hain,yahi hamar sabse menhaga larka log bhaen.Doosari category mein who larka log rahin jo chappal hath mein le ke khare rahin jabtak koi aa ke pakar na lebai.Yeh thore chhote netaon ke liye hai.Ab bhaiyya har koi aira gaira neta pe chappal mar ke brand ikity thore na khatam karni hai.Ham koi Amitabh aur Sarukh nahin hain ki ek-ek rupiya ka tel ka puriya bechne chal dein.Teesra catgry mein juta rokan wale larke rahin,yeh pahle kam jam jaye tab lane ki soch rahe hain,juta chalega to rokna wla ki demand bhi ayegi bhaiyya,bari bari partiyan khareedengi ise.Yeh to amrika tak jayenge,Obama jab khari mein jayega to oo ka kahbat rahin,ander ka ghera-inner circalwa ma yahi log honge.Ham to ye shart bhi rakhenge ki pakrahua juta pe hamara hi adhikar hoga,Sasur ko neelam kar ke dugna munafa kamao.To yeh hamari planig hai bhaiya,ab kya hoga yeh to oopar wala malik jane ,baki kasar ham koi chhor nahin rahe hain,1-2 saal maein market issue bhi lana hai bahiyya. Achchha bhaiyya Ram Ram ,tum bhi koi larka ho to bhejo,biznis chamakne tak har larke pe 500/- ka kamishan de rahe hain,accha chalat hain,ram ram”
So, much for the elections and potential business and forex possibilities they genrate.
Rest later.

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