Domestic Violence in India: Causes, Consequences and Remedies

Ankur Kumar:

Introduction

“Bride tortured to death for dowry”, “School going kid succumbs to his injuries after beaten by father”, “A seventy year old man killed over property dispute”, “Harassment of men in Chandigarh…”

All these and what not, turn to any newspaper at random and you would find the reports of such kind of violence all over the country. These are all what we come to know through different forms of media. There are more such cases which go unreported every day. In fact, include the cases which we our self indulge in, or the ones which we witness in the neighbourhood but are hesitant in taking even a single step to reduce their occurrences.

In our society, violence is bursting. It is present almost everywhere and nowhere is this eruption more intense than right behind the doors of our homes. Behind closed doors of homes all across our country, people are being tortured, beaten and killed. It is happening in rural areas, towns, cities and in metropolitans as well. It is crossing all social classes, genders, racial lines and age groups. It is becoming a legacy being passed on from one generation to another.

The term used to describe this exploding problem of violence within our homes is Domestic Violence. This violence is towards someone who we are in a relationship with, be it a wife, husband, son, daughter, mother, father, grandparent or any other family member. It can be a male’s or a female’s atrocities towards another male or a female. Anyone can be a victim and a victimizer. This violence has a tendency to explode in various forms such as physical, sexual or emotional.

Since times immemorial, domestic violence has been an intrinsic part of the society we are living in. The contributing factors could be the desire to gain control over another family member, the desire to exploit someone for personal benefits, the flare to be in a commanding position all the time showcasing one’s supremacy so on and so forth. On various occasions, psychological problems and social influence also add to the vehemence. The present essay deals with the various forms of domestic violence prevalent in India. Their causes of occurrence in households have been analyzed categorically. The variation in the intensity of the forms with change in the geographical location and culture has also been addressed. The aftereffects of different kinds of domestic violence and the possible remedies have been highlighted. Finally, a conclusion has been drawn after the complete analysis of the topic with the juxtaposition of facts and figures at hand.

Different Forms of Domestic Violence in India and their Causes

Domestic Violence Against Women

This form of domestic violence is most common of all. One of the reasons for it being so prevalent is the orthodox and idiotic mindset of the society that women are physically and emotionally weaker than the males. Though women today have proved themselves in almost every field of life affirming that they are no less than men, the reports of violence against them are much larger in number than against men. The possible reasons are many and are diversified over the length and breadth of the country. According to United Nation Population Fund Report, around two-third of married Indian women are victims of domestic violence and as many as 70 per cent of married women in India between the age of 15 and 49 are victims of beating, rape or forced sex. In India, more than 55 percent of the women suffer from domestic violence, especially in the states of Bihar, U.P., M.P. and other northern states.

The most common causes for women stalking and battering include dissatisfaction with the dowry and exploiting women for more of it, arguing with the partner, refusing to have sex with him, neglecting children, going out of home without telling the partner, not cooking properly or on time, indulging in extra marital affairs, not looking after in-laws etc. In some cases infertility in females also leads to their assault by the family members. The greed for dowry, desire for a male child and alcoholism of the spouse are major factors of domestic violence against women in rural areas. There have been gruesome reports of young bride being burnt alive or subjected to continuous harassment for not bringing home the amount of demanded dowry. Women in India also admit to hitting or beating because of their suspicion about the husband’s sexual involvement with other women. The Tandoor Murder Case of Naina Sahni in New Delhi in the year 1995 is one such dreadful incident of a woman being killed and then burnt in a Tandoor by his husband. This incidence was an outcome of suspicion of extra marital affairs of Naina Sahni which led to marital discord and domestic violence against her.

In urban areas there are many more factors which lead to differences in the beginning and later take the shape of domestic violence. These include – more income of a working woman than her partner, her absence in the house till late night, abusing and neglecting in-laws, being more forward socially etc. Working women are quite often subjected to assaults and coercion sex by employees of the organization. At times, it could be voluntary for a better pay and designation in the office.

Violence against young widows has also been on a rise in India. Most often they are cursed for their husband’s death and are deprived of proper food and clothing. They are not allowed or encouraged for remarriage in most of the homes, especially in rural areas. There have been cases of molestation and rape attempts of women by other family members in nuclear families or someone in the neighbourhood. At times, women are even sexually coerced by their partner themselves against their will. They are brutally beaten and tortured for not conceiving a male child. Incidents like, ripping off a woman’s womb for killing the female foetus when she disagrees for abortion have also come to light especially in rural areas. Female foeticide and female infanticide continue to be a rising concern.

Also as expressed by Rebecca J. Burns in the following lines, “When I am asked why a woman doesn’t leave abuser I say: Women stay because the fear of leaving is greater than the fear of staying. They will leave when the fear of staying is greater than the fear of leaving.” A common Indian house wife has a tendency to bear the harassment she is subjected to by her husband and the family. One reason could be to prevent the children from undergoing the hardships if she separates from the spouse. Also the traditional and orthodox mindset makes them bear the sufferings without any protest.

Other forms of physical abuse against women include slapping, punching, grabbing, burdening them with drudgery, public humiliation and the neglect of their health problems. Some of the other forms of psychological torment against them could be curtailment of their rights to self-expression and curbing the freedom to associate with the natal family and friends.

Domestic Violence Against Men

There is no question that domestic violence directed against women is a serious and bigger problem, but domestic violence against men is also increasing gradually in India. The supremacy of men in the society makes one believe that they are not vulnerable to domestic violence. Battering of men by their spouse and family members has become a concerned issue and is another form of domestic violence under purview of judiciary. In India, compared to violence against women, violence against men is less frequent but it has already taken a deadly shape in many of the western countries by now.

Males have reported incidences of assault against them like pushing, shoving, slapping, grabbing, hitting which are intended to harm them and also take their lives on many occasions. Recently, hundreds of husbands gathered in Chandigarh and Shimla to voice their opinion for men’s rights and protection against domestic violence subjected to them by their wives and other family members. It reflects the need for a special law for curbing domestic violence against men in present times.

If we contemplate over the reasons behind this form of domestic violence we would find some of the possible causes such as not abiding by the instructions of the wives’, inadequate earning of men, infidelity towards wives, not helping the partner in household activities, not taking a proper care of children, abusing the spouse’s family, infertility of men, spying the activities of partner, doubting the partner all the time and not trusting her, revolt by the wife when asked to look after in-laws etc. On many occasions the spat between men and women becomes public thereby influencing the society around especially in the villages. In urban areas such forms of violence may go unreported because of greater privacy. Also the families find their reputation at stake in urban areas.

Domestic Violence Against Children/Teens

Children and teenagers in our society are not spared from the evil of domestic violence. In fact, this form of violence is second in terms of number of reported cases after the ‘violence against women’. There is a lot of variation in the form of its occurrence in urban and rural areas and in upper/middle class and lower class families in India. In urban regions, it is more private and concealed within the four walls of homes. The possible reasons could be disobeying parental advises and orders, poor performance in academics or not being at par with other children in neighbourhood, debating with parents and other family members etc. In addition to this, factors like not being socially intelligent or as active as the parents expect them to be, abusing the parents or speaking ill about other family members, not returning home on time are some other factors.

In rural areas the reasons could be harassment for child labour, physical abuse or harm for not following family traditions, forcing them to stay at home and not allowing them to go to school etc. Domestic violence against girls is in fact more severe at homes. As the common mob mentality of India prefers to have at least one male child after marriage, the girls in most of the occasions are cursed and assaulted for having taken birth in the home. This kind abuse is prevalent both in cities and villages but is more common in latter case. Then there are cases of paedophilia causing sexual harassment of children in homes by family member themselves. In fact the number of rape cases of pre-matured girls has been rising since last few years. A survey of teens and college students found that rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults in girls. Apart from sexual abuse and rape, pushing, slapping, punching, stalking and emotional abuse are other forms of domestic violence against children.

Adding to the above mentioned causes, there are also instances of abuse against children who are physically and/or mentally challenged. Instead of providing them proper health care and treating them politely, these children are beaten and harassed for not cooperating and attending to what family members ask them to do. They are even emotionally abused by cursing them having been in such retarded or handicapped state. In fact in poor families, there have been reports of selling body organs of the retarded children for getting money in return. It reflects the height of cruelness and violence against innocent children.

Domestic Violence Against Olds

This form of domestic violence refers to the violence which old people at home are subjected to by their children and other family members. This category of domestic violence largely goes under-reported in India. It is because of the dependency of olds on their children and having a fear of not being looked after or even ousted if the violence is revealed in public. The main causes of violence against aged people are – children being hesitant in bearing the expenses of the old parents, emotionally victimising the olds and beating them to death to get rid of them. On various occasions, they are beaten for doing something against the desire of family members. One of the very common reasons includes torture for property grabbing.

A perturbing trend is the vulnerability of ageing women to domestic violence in various forms. Given existing structures of gender discrimination, old women are prone to a greater risk than men of becoming victims of material exploitation, financial deprivation, property grabbing, abandonment, verbal humiliation, emotional and psychological torment. When they fall seriously ill, it is more likely that it is the elderly women in the family who will be denied proper health care. There is also a widespread understanding that the neglect, deprivation and marginalisation of older women are the normal consequences of ageing. In fact the plight of young widows in homes as discussed above now becomes more serious as a result of the ageing of those women. They are cut off from the society they are living in, ignored, abused, cursed, and considered as bad omens. The atrocities of sons, daughter-in-laws, daughters and husbands could be another cause of domestic violence specifically against older women. They are restrained from cooking, housekeeping, or participating in activities outside the home.

While it is difficult to accurately measure the extent of the problem on a national scale, given the fact that most families deny that such abuse but we do know that the number of old people in our midst is growing. A current estimate puts the 60-plus population at around 90 million in India and is projected to have a population of 142 million older people by 2020. Given this demographic reality an important concern is the kind of action the country can take at the individual and societal level to alleviate abuse and neglect of elderly class.

Other Forms of Domestic Violence in India

There are some more possible forms of domestic violence prevalent in India other than the ones listed above. On a serious note, family wars or clan wars are deadly forms of domestic violence across the country. The reason of such type of violence include dispute over property, physically or emotionally abusing any member of other family or clan, any religious cause or conflict arising during a religious ceremony, jealousy because of progress and financial status of other family, inter-caste marriage etc. This form of violence is common in many states like Haryana, Punjab, Andhra Pradesh etc.

One of the other forms of domestic violence is ill-treatment of servants and maids in households. In many of the affluent homes, servants are deprived of their salary and basic necessities. They are harassed and beaten and to work without even taking adequate rest. Similarly maids are molested by males in the family. Atrocities against small children working as servants are common and increasing.

To some extent media is also responsible for contributing to all the above forms of violence. The exaggerated news coverage of reports of domestic violence, the daily soaps screening the torture of a daughter-in-law at the hands of family members, the films portraying an element of violence against people of all age groups etc. are some of the menaces which media is causing. It is influencing the mindset of the viewers strongly. The problem arises when instead of taking a lesson from those news clippings, films, and television shows, people start enacting the same in their homes. Comparatively, the visual media is far more influencing than the print and electronic media in these cases. Illiteracy and mob mentality of majority of Indians misguides them in all these cases.

Consequences of Domestic Violence

There are varied consequences of domestic violence depending on the victim, the age group, the intensity of the violence and frequency of the torment they are subjected to. Living under a constant fear, threat and humiliation are some of the feelings developed in the minds of the victims as a consequence of an atrocious violence. The consequences of the domestic violence in detail can be broadly categorised under – the Effect on the victim himself/herself and the family , Effect on the society and the Effect on nation’s growth and productivity. The ‘Effect on the victim’ has been further subcategorized for women, men, children and olds.

Effect on the victim and the family

Consequences of Violence Against Women

Battered women have tendency to remain quiet, agonised and emotionally disturbed after the occurrence of the torment. A psychological set back and trauma because of domestic violence affects women’s productivity in all forms of life. The suicide case of such victimised women is also a deadly consequence and the number of such cases is increasing.

A working Indian woman may drop out from work place because of the ill-treatment at home or office, she may lose her inefficiency in work. Her health may deteriorate if she is not well physically and mentally. Some women leave their home immediately after first few atrocious attacks and try to become self-dependent. Their survival becomes difficult and painful when they have to work hard for earning two meals a day. Many such women come under rescue of women welfare organizations like Women Welfare Association of India (WWAI), Affus Woman Welfare Association (AWWA) and Woman’s Emancipation and Development Trust (WEDT). Some of them who leave their homes are forcefully involved in women trafficking and pornography. This results in acquiring a higher risk of becoming a drug addict and suffering from HIV/AIDS. Some of course do it by their choice.

One of the severe effects of domestic violence against women is its effect on her children. It is nature’s phenomenon that a child generally has a greater attachment towards the mother for she is the one who gives birth. As long as the violence subjected to the mother is hidden from the child, he/she may behave normally at home. The day when mother’s grief and suffering is revealed, a child may become upset about the happening deeply. Children may not even comprehend the severity of the problem. They may turn silent, reserved and express solace to the mother. When the violence against women is openly done in front of them since their childhood, it may have a deeper and gruesome impact in their mindset. They get used to such happenings at home, and have a tendency to reciprocate the same in their lives. It’s common in especially in rural homes in India which are victimised by the evil of domestic violence.

In cases of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), violence against women leads them to maintain a distance from their partner. Their sexual life is affected adversely. Many of them file for divorce and seek separation which again affects the life of children. Some continue to be exploited in lack of proper awareness of human rights and laws of the constitution.

Consequences of Violence Against Men

The consequences against violence against men in India, is largely emotional and psychological in nature. The physical harassment resulting from domestic violence, also affects their lives and productivity but it is still more inclined towards the emotional problems which men face in India. It is largely because many such cases go unreported, as compared to cases of physical assault of women. An emotionally harassed and depressed man may lose interest in the occupation he is associated with. If he is the only bread-earning person in the family, the family may find it difficult to survive. There has been a spate of farmers’ suicide in recent years in Karnataka. Several farmers have committed suicide not only because of indebtedness but also because of discord in family and depression resulting out of it. According to statistics of Save India Family Foundation (an NGO), around 1.2 lac harassed husbands have committed suicide in the country in the last four years.

Consequences of Violence Against Children/Teens The consequences in case of children are far more drastic and its effect is long lived. Children are sensitive to issues related to violence of any kind as they are not mature enough to comprehend them. In their growing years they try to imitate things which they see happening around them. In the process of following their parent’s advice or instructions they become firm in their opinion and approach towards life. Now if the approach of parents itself is negative, children are bound to get influenced by it. They may adopt the negative traits of the ill they see around them or develop a hostile approach in life because of the ill-treatment they are subjected to. If a child is beaten badly for under performing in school, he may do the same to his children, thinking it might be the only possible way of making a person to work hard.

Whenever a child is dropped out of school because of poor financial condition or when he is engaged in some form of child labour, there is a sudden leap which the child tries to take from his childhood to the manhood. In this process he misses out the values and morals a person should inculcate in him as a good human being. He fails to develop a vision to see things from an unbiased point of view. All these factors make a child insensitive towards the society and the societal needs. Every instance of child abuse causes a callous indifference to suffering.

However in the process of comprehending the wrong being done to them, many children are traumatised and psychologically disturbed. They find it unsustainable and may lose out their mental soundness. Children who are victimised by physical violence may become handicapped as well. In some cases children prefer to run away from home and try to become self dependent. Some commit suicide. Some indulge in malpractices because of improper education and bad company they become a part of after leaving the home. Some even reciprocate the violence they are subjected to by harming the family members.

Girls also develop a feeling of insecurity in their homes when they are sexually exploited. They lose their self-confidence and desire for living. A girl child from violent home can withdraw from society and become completely depressed. Children from violent homes become disobedient and violent – and start using aggression to solve their problems. Adolescents may succumb to drugs and alcohol when treated harshly. Some helpless and abandoned children are picked up gangs who sell their organs for making huge amount of money. In most of the cities, the group of beggars at traffic lights or railway platforms are the abandoned children who are physically deformed forcefully for begging. The children who escape being a part of this vicious circle are looked after by children welfare organizations like, Indian Child Welfare Association (ICWA), Child Relief and You (CRY) and ChildLine etc.

Consequences of Violence Against Olds

The elderly abuse is one of the most unfortunate happening for the elderly class in their lives. They would rather like to be more at ease and calm in this phase of their life than being prone to such kind of shameful treatment by the family or society. Ironically elderly class itself also indulges in harming each other. Many of the elderly men continue to beat and harass their wives throughout their lives.

Some of the olds are ousted from home by their children, some are beaten until death and some are exploited socially. A sense of insecurity dodges them all the time. They are isolated and cut off from society in some cases where son and daughter-in-law do not let them interact and move around freely in the society. The old people are not looked after properly and their health problems are neglected. Due to the abuse and mental trauma they suffer, some of them leave home and stay in old age homes like HelpAge India, Senior Citizen Home Complex Welfare Society (SCHCWS) and many others.

Effect of Domestic Violence on the society

All the different forms of violence discussed in this essay adversely affect the society. Violence against women may keep them locked in homes succumbing to the torture they face. If they come out in open and reveal the wrong done to them for help and rescue, it influences the society both positively and negatively. At one hand where it acts as an inspiration and ray of hope for other suffering women, on the other hand it also spoils the atmosphere of the society. When something of this kind happens in the society, few families may witness the evil of domestic violence knocking their door steps. Some families try to imitate what others indulge in irrespective of it being good or bad for the family.

Effect on the productivity

As mentioned earlier, domestic violence affects the productivity level of the victim negatively. Men and women lose interest in household activities. If they are employed they fail to work with full capabilities in workplace. Children are found to concentrate less on studies. They drop out of school and do not get the education which otherwise they might have got if they were not tormented and thus the country loses a productive asset. Therefore, the nation’s productivity altogether gets affected because of domestic violence in homes. When old people are tortured and physically abused, they separate themselves from family members and their daily activities are restricted to themselves. The guardianship they can provide out of their experience, the moral values which they can instil in the grandchildren are all not done as they are unwanted in their own homes. People need to spend their part of income for medication when they are met with worse forms of domestic violence which again leads to loss in productive use of a family’s income. The cumulative effect of the domestic violence at all levels and across all regions is the country’s hindered development and slow economic growth.

Remedies for Domestic Violence

What exactly do we want?

A very important question in wake of domestic violence remedies is that what exactly we are looking for in the process of minimising their occurrences. Is it so that we want to gather more information about such cases for just expressing our concern over this issue with more accuracy, having facts and figures at hand? Or instead of just raising our voices, we want to clean up the mess with shear force and determination?

Fighting the ‘Domestic Violence’ Evil

A recent study has concluded that violence against women is the fastest-growing crime in India. According to a latest report prepared by India’s National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), a crime has been recorded against women in every three minutes in India. Every 60 minutes, two women are raped in this country. Every six hours, a young married woman is found beaten to death, burnt or driven to suicide.

The response to the phenomenon of domestic violence is a typical combination of effort between law enforcement agencies, social service agencies, the courts and corrections/probation agencies. The role of all these has progressed over last few decades, and brought their activities in public view. Domestic violence is now being viewed as a public health problem of epidemic proportion all over the world – and many public, private and governmental agencies are seen making huge efforts to control it in India. There are several organizations all over the world – government and non government – actively working to fight the problems generated by domestic violence to the human community.

Need for Stringent Laws

In 1983, domestic violence was recognised as a specific criminal offence by the introduction of section 498-A into the Indian Penal Code. This section deals with cruelty by a husband or his family towards a married woman. The main legislative measures at the national level for the children who become a victim of child labor include The Child Labor Prohibition and Regulation Act -1986 and The Factories Act -1948. The first act was categorical in prohibiting the employment of children below fourteen years of age, and identified 57 processes and 13 occupations which were considered dangerous to the health and lives of children. The factories act again prohibits the employment of children less than fourteen years of age.

The Government of India passed a Domestic Violence Bill, 2001, “To protect the rights of women who are victims of violence of any kind occurring within the family and to provide for matters connected therewith or incidental thereto”*

An act called Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 [ DVA, 2005 ] also has been passed”. This Act ensures the reporting of cases of domestic violence against women to a ‘Protection Officer’ who then prepares a Domestic Incident Report to the Magistrate “and forward copies thereof to the police officer in charge of the police station within the local limits of jurisdiction…”**

Unfortunately, at present there is no single law in the Indian Constitution which can strictly deal

with all the different forms of ‘Domestic Violence’ as discussed in this essay. There is an urgent need for such a law in the country. In fact, there has also been misuse of section 498-A and DVA, 2005 because of restricted definition of cruelty subjected to married women.

Role of Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)

The role of non-governmental organizations in controlling the domestic violence and curbing its worse consequences is crucial. Sakshi – a violence intervention agency for women and children in Delhi works on cases of sexual assault, sexual harassment, child sexual abuse and domestic abuse and focuses on equality education for judges and implementation of the 1997 Supreme Court’s sexual harassment guidelines. Women’s Rights Initiative – another organization in the same city runs a legal aid cell for cases of domestic abuse and works in collaboration with law enforcers in the area of domestic violence.

Your browser may not support display of this image. In Mumbai, bodies like Majlis and Swaadhar are doing meaningful works in this field. Sneha in Chennai and Vimochana in Bangalore are working on many women’s issues arising from domestic abuse. They are also doing active work in issues related to labour. Services ranging from counselling, education and outreach, giving provisions, and mobilizing them for gaining self-confidence are provided to them. Anweshi is a women’s counselling centre in Kozhikode providing meditation, resource and counselling for battered women. All the above bodies have their own registered offices, contact numbers and websites for those who want to seek help. There are at present only few NGOs for welfare of men like Social Welfare Association for Men (SWAM) in Chennai. Few more such organizations need to be opened for the help of abused men.

These NGOs continue to spread awareness amongst people regarding the legal rights they have in hand for fighting against the atrocities they are subjected to. They are encouraging more and more people to report any case of domestic violence so that proper action may be taken against the culprits.

Police and Health Care

Police plays a major role in tackling the domestic violence cases. They need to be sensitized to treat domestic violence cases as seriously as any other crime. Special training to handle domestic violence cases should be imparted to police force. They should be provided with information regarding support network of judiciary, government agencies/departments. Gender training should be made mandatory in the trainings of the police officers. There should be a separate wing of police dealing with women’s issues, attached to all police stations and should be excluded from any other duty.

Authorities should take steps to recognize Domestic Violence as a public health issue. A crisis support cell needs to be established in all major Government and Private Hospitals with a trained medical social worker for provide appropriate services. Training programmes must be organized for health professionals in order to develop their skills to provide basic support for abused people. Documentation on the prevalence and the health consequences of domestic violence should be undertaken by the concerned government departments, health care institutions, NGOs and counselling centres. A nodal agency should also be set up for the annual consolidation of the documented work and publish the same for wider publicity among the masses for increasing awareness.

Conclusion Having looked at a sensitive topic of “Domestic Violence in India”, we can sense the importance of discussion of such a topic. The varying causes which can spark the violence within the four walls of homes need to be analysed carefully and a wise study of the factors causing the violence may prevent a family to suffer from the menace of domestic violence. The domestic violence may have a far wider and deeper impact in real life than what has been covered in this essay. What is required is to see closely the association of the factors provoking a particular form of domestic violence. If these factors can be controlled then more than one form of violence can be prevented from harming an individual or our society and India would be a much better place to live in.

References

1) Panda, P. and Agarwal, B. 2005. Marital Violence, Human Development and Women’s Property Status in India. World Development. 23(5): 823-850.

2) Panda, P. 2004. Domestic Violence Against Women in Kerala. Kerala Research Programme on Local Level Development Centre for Development Studies. 6: 1-44.

3) Koenig, A. M., et al. 2006. Individual and Contextual Determinants of Domestic Violence in North India. American Journal of Public Health. 96(1): 132-138.

4) Martin L. S. et al. 1999. Domestic Violence in Northern India. American Journal of Epidemiology. 150(4): 417-426.

5) UNICEF. 2000. Domestic Violence Against Women And Girls. UNICEF Innocenti Digest. 6: 1-29.

6) Centre for Women’s Studies & Development the Research Institute. 2005. A Situational Analysis of Domestic Violence Against Women In Kerala: 1-31.

7)Kishwar, M. 2005. Laws Against Domestic Violence. Retrieved from http://www.indiatogether.org/manushi/issue120/domestic.htm on 25/08/2009. 11:15:13 pm : 1 -6.

8) Joshi, M. M. 2001. The Protection From Domestic Violence Bill. Government Bill. Bill No. 133 of 2001

9) Domestic Violence Statistics. Retrieved from http://www.domesticviolence.in/category/domestic-violence-statistics on 22/08/2009. 10:00 am.

The writer is a Goa based Correspondent of Youth Ki Awaaz and also a student at BITS, Pilani – Goa Campus.

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  7. Hello World

    A colleague of mine is subject to tremendous mental torture by her husband as well as her own parents and family to shift to Saudi Arabia against her wishes. This was actually a forced marriage and she is trapped in this. She is already seeing a psychologist and is ready to give some time to this marriage before calling it off or filing for a divorce but her husband and parents are torturing her daily to give in. What legal remedy can she adopt so that this torture stops and she gets time to think over this marriage and take it at her own pace please?

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  8. VED from VICTORIA INSTITUTIONS

    The way to address this issue is not through short cuts. Indian society has a lot of errors. First of all the languages are quite feudal. This places a huge burden on everyone. That of getting ‘respect’ in some way. It also affects social relationship. It would be a great crime to oneself and to one’s family, to simply mix with persons of un-acknowledge-able social status and go off and marry someone.

    Both the husbands as well as the wives do have to bear the consequences of the social and familial terrors and restraints connected to feudal language codes. The language system has also brought in quality depreciation in both men and women here. However, on an average women are below their respective men, in terms of mental and cultural quality. It is not because they are born thus, but they are brought up thus, by their family members. Also, the nation is not quite safe for women to move around like men do.

    To improve the quality of the low quality persons, it is not wise to overload their side with draconian laws. This will only create more havoc in the society and families. See his or her father being abused by the low quality Indian police men, who use pejorative words to the people, will create deep trauma in a child.

    To improve a low quality person, the best method is to improve his or her personal quality. This should go along with society quality improvement. A total negation of Indian feudal languages might help. Good quality English might improve communication to a refined level. However, it may not be possible to do that. So, to a limited extend this error will continue in the society.

    See this also: https://archive.org/details/DomesticViolenceActVICTORIA

    Reply
  9. Rayan

    Dear Friend actually i was looking for a good article for my presentation….your article is very informative i am very happy.because your thoughts and my thoughts match….. your article helped me to improve my contents thank you

    Reply
  10. BHUMIKA.B.VETAL

    Respected sir,

    The content provides a lot of important information about violence….a full study is been given..it has helped for my fc project…domestic violence is of great concern tday it is happening all arround…hope india & indian women are free from this henious crime…

    Reply
  11. deepti

    HI, Please need your help , i was sent to my mother’s home 6 months back , we tried out several meetings with our family elders to sort out the matter but sent me back. can i file a domestic violence case now , they just want to get rid of me. my shreedhan is with them and they are not giving that also, please help me.

    Reply
  12. cms

    Hi,My husband is mistreating and abusing me since last 3 years..i had to leave my job to take care of my infant child..since then he has started feeling that i m a burden and not contributing anything..my father in law has always supported him…he is no doubt a very greedy person but he has started misbehaving more because of my father in law…he has also beaten me in past,abused my parents,fights with me more or less everyday, used to come at midnight everyday giving fake reasons of meeting,i also feel that for sometime he has been in a extra marital relationship but not sure …have also called up police 1 day but was of no help..i am now fed up of daily comments and abuses.pls help on this…i stay in Delhi and is in a 6 years of marriage

    Reply
  13. R.K.Prem Rose

    Hello, mr. Ankur Kumar. My name is R.K.Prem Rose and I am a student of mass communication and journalism. I have read your essay on “Domestic Violence” and have immensely blessed with more knowledge about it. I have used and picked up some lines and points from your essay to complete my college article. I have been assigned to do an article on “Domestic Violence”, so thought of taking the help of Google, but did not know that your essay will solve all my problems and queries. You have so wonderfully written that I kept on reading your essay till the end, and thought that I can never get anything better then this. So, hope you will not mind and object me for taking help from your essay. Please do respond on this, so that I’ll be fully assured that you do not have any objection on my this attempt.

    Reply
    • Ankur Kumar

      You cannot copy any content/line. You can only quote lines from this article with proper reference to this essay along with author’s name. Thanks.

      Reply
  14. Ved Dev

    This Act is stupid. For, there are enough and more laws here to deal with all kinds of violence. Domestic violence is not really a stand alone phenomena but something connected to the overall negativity of the Indian social communication scene. Feudal languages which more or less creates strange social and familial compulsions. For more on this read,
    http://goo.gl/xwRo1 [IDIOCY of the Indian PROTECTION of WOMEN from DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT}

    Reply
  15. ksdj

    sir,i am living with my wife and children and my father is also staying with me ,i have got two elder broter they are are all well settled in chennai.sir , my father is not a a good character,he is having a sex with the maid when ever we were in or out of the house .we are all ways scared. My question is that what legal action can we take aganist both of the person ,

    Reply
  16. pankhuri jaiswal

    damn good article, such articles can help young minds to raise their voice against this bad face of country…………….

    Reply
  17. anamika

    sir mera husband mujhe mentaly torcher karta hai.bar bar mera mobile aur sim tod deta hai shak karta hai

    Reply
  18. srilata

    hi meeta ji i had send u an email plz go through it , u r immediate attention is required.

    Reply
  19. rakshanda savarnya

    domestic violence is now every where,please don’t do such things which creates emotional things.

    Reply
  20. Meeta

    Any women victim of Domestic violence may contact Delhi Legal services Authority for Legal assistance at Gole Market Bhagat singh place on Tues day and Thursday from 12 to 5 p.m. .. .Its free

    Reply
  21. Choi Kwang Do

    We are running a martial arts academy and we basically teach
    self-defense for real life scenario. We are also involved in social activities
    and we give free self-defense and self-dependency training to women who suffer
    from this type of problem. We can also help them to get employment as they
    could give self-defense training to other girls and earn their living. We have
    a well-equipped martial arts academy in Panchkula (Haryana). If any NGO or any
    person who think that we could help them in any way may contact us:

    Choi Kwang Do Martial Arts school

    Sco-193 2nd floor, sector-16

    Panchkula(Haryana)

    9417063789, 0172-5057789

    http://www.choikwangdoindia.com

    Reply
  22. Archana

    Dear Madam,
    I m suffering from tortures from my husband since 5 years of my marriage.I always got silent just because this society never with be any women who is alone and harrased, some do but to some extent only. I am in hope might god will change my life ,but i become hopeless when my husband gives me physical and mentally tortures and says i will do second marriage and leave me forever.Even he is not ready to plan for kids,i dont know what is going in his mind.i want to live and dont want to seperate and belive in one marriage only but despite of my continuous efforts would it gone waste.Or he is waiting for that duration to be passed after that i cant do against him legally,im very much tensed kindly suggest me what to do.what is the duration under which my complaint is really meaningful,i also dont do that because i feel might be it can lead the situation more worse, i want a kid and can he easily get the divorse from me until and unless i dont want to give him. He always says that he is in touch with lawyer and soon he give me the notice for divorce. He never listen to others , his family ,his parents ,his brother all failed to make him understand that what is right.He loose temper very shortly and beat me frequently. Always pick small things and make big issues of those,can fight with any one,Please help me and suggest the solutions on my email id

    Reply
  23. meetachoudhury

    NAny one wants free legal help may contact me.I am a lawyer,legal counselor and a trained mediator

    Reply
  24. Meeta Choudhury

    I like to join hands with u. Your sensitivity to understand this subject at this young is commendable 

    Reply
    • jyoti

      i need ur help pls help………………………………………………………………….

      Reply
  25. Giridhar Balivada

    Sir, My sister is suffering from harassment and domestic violence from her husband and the family members. Can you please give us the contact details of the NGO’s or any other who can give us some suggestion how to come out of this. This is really embarrassed, the guy after marrying a girl, how can he harass her in all the possible ways. And at the same time, his family should be good. If he is of that kind, he should stay away from marriage.

    Reply
  26. tanuja

    helo sir
    please guides us, my father and their family tortured us since 25 years they forced us to leave the house ,they querreled with us day and night. how the domestic violence act help us .i gave complain on police station .that time they become quiet but after some days they again tortured us.please help us and guides me what i do now. i m in msc. final year and my mother works as a school peon.

    Reply
  27. Aiyush Agarwal

    Please help and guide as my sisters husband is beating my sister and fighting with him from last 4 years . Now my sister has lost all her pastience. My sister is residing in delhi at Dwarka and her husband is also living with him at reneted house.
    My sister’s husband always force my sister to leave the house and beats him .
    Please help and guide what can be done to save my sister.

    please help
    Ayush agarwal

    Reply
    • Meeta

      Ask ur sister to go to Dwarka court and office of Delhi legal services Authority and get a free lawyer and file a case against her husband and get right to residence , maintenance and protection order .DLSA will provide her a lawyer and she does not have to pay any fees.Also ask her not to leave the right rather the court may ask her husband to stay some where else.She has right to residence under D.V. ACt.

      Reply
  28. Kabita Mohanta

    sir, i am frequently harrased &beaten by my husband since last 20 years.Pl. give me no: of some NGO.Who can help me.

    Reply
  29. K.Sensowa

    I have found this article to be useful for general masses . It is a balanced article very well written considering the age of the writer,. This kind of incisive thinking among the youngsters of this nature , will surely reform the society. I subscribe my support for such thought provoking writings.

    Reply
  30. Poornima

    Hi,

    Good article, but the author has not used the reference within the text. Giving the reference at the end may not be sufficient for writing such articles. This article will give further scientific look, if the references are made inside the text and highlight the authors contribution explicitly.

    Reply
  31. lata

    Hello,

    My husband is torturing me a lot financialy and mentally because I am not giving him a divorce. I need the number and address of some good NGO in mumbai who can help me out. It’s urgent and I am waiting or your reply on the above email id.

    Reply
  32. jolly mariya

    i am a qualified and professional woman recently divorced and started staying with my brother and mother in the house owned by my mother.the problem i have is that my brother is too much short tempered and egoistic.since years he istorturing us mentaly and physically .he made our lives hell.every next day he shouting madly on us if any one utter a single word he started beating or throwing the things.one time even i complain to police also but they didnt take any action.he is beating every one even to our mother also.using dirty words, passing dirty remaks to me , blaming me for the my divorce,we belong to good family background.because of him we lost our image in the society.he just want his domination.the male domination.he didnt study not as qualified as other family members are and for that also he is blaming us only that we didnt provide him the better education.life became worst than hell. how the domestic violence act help us please send your advice.i want serious action against him
    please help!

    Reply
    • meetachoudhury

       You can take protection order under DV Act .Court may pass an order restraining him to use any abusive language or cause mental or physical torture to you or ur mother. Remember no one has right to torture u legally or socially You have ur right to lead ur life with dignity and respect. So stand up and fight against this torture.As its ur house you have equal share. In case he does not comply with the order of the court he may be  punished with imprisonment for two years or fine or both.You can take help of legal aid in ur state to get a free lawyer.

      Reply
  33. neha bhattacharya

    Excellent article! I often come across news on domestic violence in India and the increasing trend of children abandoning elderly parents. Today, I was disturbed to see my own relatives turning evil because of their greed for money. My grandmother was befooled to sign major portion of the property in my aunt’s name and now she is being troubled and tortured to leave the house as she has no more money. When I asked my granny to take help of law, she rejected it saying she doesnot want to take her own daughter to court.
    My parents are bringing her to our home but it would be painful for her to leave the house in which she spent her whole life and wished to peacefully die.

    I have never felt so helpless before.

    Reply
  34. magimaidass kulandai yesu

    Dear sir, my sincere gratitude for your wonderful reflection on the domestic violence. it is really a edifying contribution to the topic. please sent to my mail if you would have written of broken families. the causes for the breaking of the indian families, especially the south indian families. I will be very very grateful to your scholarily personality. iam a priest studing in rome. thanks. God bless u and give u all the good.

    Reply
  35. Simren

    Hi,

    I want to know about the information regarding women torturing their in laws and husband. Is there is any law against women which make my bro case strong.
    Or any NGO will help us. My bro marriage completes hardly 1yr. We all are tortured by my bhabhi. My parents are very under pressure as well as my bro plz guide us what to do?
    Plz mail me

    Reply
    • Nitin Mittal

      Hi, I am also facing same probelm. My wife is torturing my parents and not cooperating with me. Further, she abuses me and wants to take full control. My wife’s father is supporting her and making the situation even worse. I am under deep trauma as I need to take care of my parents as well. She infact asked me to choose b/n her and my parents. I want everybody to live together. Please let me know if you get any contact, information, legal help. councelling, etc in this matter.

      Reply
      • Meeta

        Nitin ji u must take care of ur parents and u have every right to live together with ur parents.If she does not do her wifely duty like cooking etc.and torture u mentally it will be a ground of divorce…make her understand that if she goes beyond limitation. You have no liability towards her parents…these are illegal demand .In every state, inside the court premises there is an arrangement for free legal counseling..if need be take her to a counsellor for counselling.I think she needs counseling.

  36. sharon

    I am a victim of domestic violence and live in west bengal have been trying to find help but its been of no use. I filed an F.I.R against my husband yesterday but looks like the police have already been bribed. Please send me some information as to what I should do next I’m worried about my kids and my safety.thank you.

    Reply
    • meetachoudhury

       Go to legal Aid of the state and take a lawyer and file a case under Domestic violence Act to get residential right,maintenance and to get protection order.Your husband will stop torturing you.Filing FIR will not help u much as police are silent spectator to this violence and sometimes they justify it. They have no sensitivity to handle such cases but FIr can be used  as dcumentary evidence in the court. Dont think u are alone.We all are with u.

      Reply
  37. Vaishali Punj

    Hi….I tend to differ on the causes cited…….I think that an abusive person has been brought up that way…..most probably he has seen abuse as a kid……nothing seems to put sense into such people…….and the best way to save oneself is to stay away from them……law can help by enforcing restraining orders against such people

    Reply
  38. jagruti bhatia

    Hello,

    My husband is torturing me a lot financialy and mentally because I am not giving him a divorce. I need the numbaer and address of some good NGO in mumbai who can help me out. It’s urgent and I am waiting or your reply on the above emai id.

    Jagruti

    Reply
  39. santosh

    hello sir,

    i need help from u i want to know there is any law ,,,,,
    my nabour fight themself and abouse very rought . when i tell then that don’t abouse because we are also familyer and we disturb here they also abouse us but we can’t take any ation because they are female

    plz hel me are give me good suggation what to do

    Reply
  40. Ryan

    I am a victim of domestic mental torture. Pleaseeee… help me by giving address or some sort of advice by email as i am working in Gulf.

    Please help

    Reply
  41. Shaun

    Hi,

    does trying to forcibly get son married by threatening confinement in mental assylum along with constant verbal taunts, endeavor to isolate socially and creating false image in society by parents fall under domestic violence.
    Is there any organisation or legal authority that can help tackle this

    Shaun

    Reply
  42. Ankur Kumar

    @Robin Mukherjee

    Apologies for delay in response. It’s indeed sad to hear about these cases of domestic violence in our society which so far have been uncommon. With time, they are going to increase and we need stricter laws for men. Please check this link – http://bit.ly/An2LUS It might be helpful for you. You should take help of AIMWA, Hyderabad. Check with local police as well if required.

    Reply
  43. Veronica

    Hi Ankur,

    What a comprehensive, great piece! Thank you so much for spotlighting these important issues. If you’re interesting in reading more on this topic, check out the Bell Bajao domestic violence campaign.

    Please keep up the fantastic work.

    Veronica

    Reply
  44. Kuldeep

    Hi,

    Nice write up,

    I wanted to get some information regarding female violence at home (before marriage).

    My best friend belongs to a very orthodox family that does not believe in giving freedom to females. They are looking for a groom for her (and obviously she does not get to decide anything).

    Recently she told her elder brother about a guy she likes at her workplace and would like to marry. Just after hearing, her brother started threatening her and has her literally isolated from the outside world (not letting her go to work, not even out of the house).

    I believe she is in depression now because she has no clue what will happen with/to her. She is very scared (of her family and her future both) as she does not know what to do. The way I see it, she can go to the extent of running away from her house or attempt something crazy at this point of time.

    So now, the question …. I want to know that –
    1. Does this form of restriction/dictatorship from within the family count as domestic violence?
    2. What help can she get now and from whom?

    She resides in Ghaziabad (NCR Region) .. Plz forward me some contacts for this region. Also, advice on how should he proceed now?

    Reply
  45. Enlighten

    Hi This is the first time i am admitting it.. i am sick of getting abused by my husband.. the last time he has done this physically was literally because my 1.5 yrs old daughter was drinking milk from her feeding bottle and the lid collapsed and milk spilled on her face.. i was making milk for my elder daughter, myself and my husband when this happend. my husband got so angry on me and started callin me names saying i don’t take proper care of my daughter.. he always feels and says that i am inefficient in everything… i feel he doesn’t help out enough in anything…that day when he started abusing me verbally, i also responded verbally and then he again hit me on the face.. so hard i had marks on my face entire night.. and this time he hit me with his slippers! i cannot forget this incident and i m refraining from him now… i feel like leaving him but i cannot as i have 2 daughters and don’t want to break my family.. he has abused and assaulted me physically many a times before and there have been incidents when i have responded alike… but i just want to end this and start again… i know we both love each other but this doesn’t seem the person i loved.. i cannot talk about this to anybody as it was a love marraige n i can’t blame anyone for my bad luck… please guide me if possible…

    Reply
    • Vivek

      Sorry to hear that…. You should speak with him and tell him that this is not the way things should be done.. you need to tell him whenever he is in good mood..

      Reply
  46. Sheetal

    I am a victim of physical abuse as well by my husband and his family members. Though I’ve been living in US with my husband for the past 10 years and have been working, I couldn’t gather enough courage to file any police report…mostly I am scared of the consequences and negative impact on the kids.
    Unfortunately my own parents are pretty orthodox and they think that I should still try hard to please them and handle the situation rather than thinking abut separation.
    Is there any way Indian laws can help me here even though I live in US presently? I am stil an Indian citizen and got married in India.

    Reply
    • YouthKiAwaaz

      Hi Sheetal, the first think you must do is report about this case to the Indian embassy in the US, and also the local police department there. The Indian embassies outside of India are extremely helpful with Indian citizens facing any such problems. They would not only help you but also provide you with a lawyer in case you need further help to fight a legal case against the alleged abusers. According to us, that is the best way to go about this issue.

      Reply
  47. Shiv Mitra

    Hi, I am from Kolkata. My Aunt (Mother’s sister) i.e. Masi is a victim. She has two sons who are twins. But unfortunately both of them suffer from mental problems and due to this my Aunt is suffering a lot. They beat her up, abuse and threaten her. My Masi doesn’t want to take any action against them because they are her children. Sometimes when I go to visit her they have raised their hands on me also. Please let me know how I can help her.
    Shiv Mitra ([email protected]) / 98331528440

    Reply
  48. Sohail khan

    I have a friend in Thrissur districe, she is the product of a forced marriage who has gone back to her parents with her 2 small children after 7 years of marriage, she is now under constant physical attack from her father in front of her girls and also emotional torture from both parents for not complying with tradition. I would be grateful for details of local organisations who I can refer her to for help. Many thanks.

    Reply
  49. rajnianand

    sir, i am frequently harrased &beaten by my drunky husband.pl. give me no: of some NGO.WHO CAN HELP ME.I LIVE IN FARIDABAD.

    Reply
  50. usha khandel

    my father has govt job and earned a lot til date. since childhood, I saw my father abusing my mom and bitting her all the time. My mom sufferered because of children. She has sufferred almost 35 years. One of the reason for her being so sufferred by my father was male child. Because of which, she had to under go through several abortions forced by my father. However by god’s grace, she gave birth to a male child. Thenafter, he never changed and continued to do same thing.
    Now being in this old age, my father still torture my mom every now and then.
    He has stopped giving a single penny to the family. No responsibilty towards the family.
    He want to take Voulantry retirement and take all the money and want to give his
    bhabhi, with whom he has affair all these years.

    My mom coudn’t do anything coz she was uneducated. But dont want my father to continue all these crib at this stage.

    He must learn the lesson that his wife is not the factory of producing babies, she is better half in each and every share.

    My wants that at least she could get some of the money of his VRS, so that she can get help to marry her children, as we are still not settled.

    Please guide me what should i do?

    Reply
    • Ankur Kumar

      Usha, if you really think your family needs financial help at this stage from your father and you can’t meet your requirements without his money (which actually is for his dependents, which you all are), a case can be filed against him. He can be charged with depriving financial support to the family even though he is the only bread earning person. I am assuming your mother is a house maker.

      Reply
  51. filomena

    we have been victims of domestic violence after teh death of my father..even though my mother was independant workign woman Today my fatehr’s brother has totally ruined the peace of our lives by coming into our home and as a result she has lost job she i snot even capable of taking care of me and my borhter any longer.

    Men like him should be punished so other won’t dare to things like this again

    Reply
  52. Abhijat Guptaq

    Dear Sir, my father is a retired govt. servant. After retirement my mother & my sister started tortured my father for money issues. Me & my elder brother are living separately to avoid the daily issued raised by my mother & sister. They stolen money from the pocket of my father as my father has not lock & key for his valuables. We had to sold our previous house at a very economical rate just because of my mother & my sister as both were involved in relationship to our tenant & we lost our self-respect in that particular society but my father didn’t say anything for that incident to my mother. My father called me off to residing with him as he was feeling lonely. My mother strictly warned me to not come back to the parental house & when I shifted to the parental house my sister called to the 100 and she informed them I tried to rape with her & my mother confirmed the same. After that they called 100 by 4 times & filed the Domestic Violence case against my father, my elder brother & me.
    Please tell me the solution.

    Abhijat Gupta
    [email protected]
    Mob: 9716022294

    Reply
    • Ankur Kumar

      Abhijat, this is shocking! Is there any particular reason why your mother and sister are against you and your father? How did this enmity, distrust and hatred originate? This is important to know for suggesting a solution.

      Prima facie, I see this issue to be male vs female within a family. Has your father or anyone else ill-treated them in the family?

      Reply
  53. Deepti Sarkar

    Yes, Its very bad sound though its true no one can never stop domestic violence. Domestic violence not only happening with those people who didn’t know about these, but also happened by them who knew about these. Most of the people who are against the domestic violence, say many things in front of the society but inside their home they do the same things with their family members. I know women can never get their rights because women are their first enemy. when one women torturing another women never try to stop that. This is the realty.

    Deepti Sarkar
    Dhaka, Bangladesh

    Reply
  54. Prachi

    plz dear helpme out after spending 11 months at my inlaws home they are saying we dont like your nature so we want to leave you and just get out from our home,,,,,behind all the things my sister in law (Jethani), she is culprit but nobody says anything to her now a days i am at my real moms home and even my husband, he is not supporting me while he knows everything about my sister in law plz help me i want tio come back at my home at any cost plz help me…….

    Reply
    • Ankur Kumar

      Prachi, there is no way your in-laws can dump you until you lose all hope and give up. You are legally spouse of your husband and you have every right to stay with him and it is his duty to take care of you. If he is neglecting you, it is a punishable offence and comes under the purview of domestic violence. Try to gain the confidence of your husband first, which is most important. If he does not change his behaviour and continues witnessing any form of ill-treatment, complain to the city Protection Officer.

      Reply
  55. robin mukherjee

    as im deeply sufferring from this sort of domestic violence,ive been tortured by my own wife n her family tremendously , along with my 80yrs old widow mother,i have 2 kids (daughter & son)6 & 12 yrs of age ,they have complained against me n my mom to the police,n then police had tortured physically n mentally to me n my old mother frequently for 1 day , i ve lost my self respect which i used to have it throughout 18-20 yrs in hyderabadAP, im very frustrated frm my life , now im sending my mother to some ashram , n i”ll be going away from here, but before that i just wanted to teach my wife n her family a lesson , whatelse , i ve given her everything,, plz guide me ,otherwise i”ll die !

    mail:[email protected]
    cell”09676336453 / 09014309016

    Reply
    • Ankur Kumar

      Robin, apologies for delay in response. It’s indeed sad to hear about these cases of domestic violence in our society which so far have been uncommon. With time, they are going to increase and we need stricter laws for men. Please check this link – http://bit.ly/An2LUS It might be helpful for you. You should take help of AIMWA, Hyderabad. Check with local police as well if required.

      Reply
  56. Meenakshi Saripalli

    Dear sir,

    My moms sister  is a victim of the old age. her daughter in law is the one who is doing all the things. my uncle died of the mental pressure.

    Reply
  57. Ankur Kumar

    @Prassoon,

    “And the reasons given for violence against men are totally absurd and no where close to reality..”

    Kindly read the reasons again and let me know if you still think they are absurd. If yes, please state a more sound reason here….I would love to hear them.

    The fact is these reasons may sound kiddish but when subjected to a male becomes a form of DV. You can’t expect a woman to slap and beat a man and then only call it to be a DV against a man. There are ways in which a male can be mentally, emotionally tortured leading to lack of interest in life.

    Reply
  58. Ankur Kumar

    @Prassoon

    Quite ironically, this article is a part of a Research Paper which was selected by Association of Indian Universities (AIU), New Delhi for their National Paper Competition – Anveshan ’10 and was selected and forwarded to AIU by my institute as the best of all entries in Humanities category. Hope you realize its worth and importance!

    Reply
  59. Ankur Kumar

    Good to find the recent comments on this article.

    @Prassoon

    Dear friend, thanks for your comments. You need to understand this article in a better manner. Firstly, it is not an “armchair analysis”. Think twice before you say something like that. A lot of effort has gone into preparing this, in terms of collecting facts, assessing ground realities, analyzing domestic violence cases in Indian families, including all possible causes of DV in homes, thinking about every possible consequence of it..so on and so forth.

    “Battering of men by their spouse and family members has become a concerned issue and is another form of domestic violence under purview of judiciary”

    I very well know that there is no law which protects an adult male from DV and that is why I have said – “It reflects the need for a special law for curbing domestic violence against men in present times”. The above line means that increase in DV cases against men has made judiciary to think about DV against men, “purview” here means under examination by judiciary, does not mean it is binding by law at present.

    @MDM

    Thanks for your comments. You are ignorant of cases, where it is not possible for a woman to tell her spouse that – “Hey I think I cannot live with you any more, lets separate for sometime and see if things are going to improve between us and that would make us realize if we need each other”.

    Talk about rural and many of the middle and higher class families as well. A woman has no option but to continue suffer the beatings as her mind is plagued by so many other factors- “What will happen to my children, will I be able to feed them if I separate? Don’t they need the support of a father at this stage? What will my natal family say to me? What will the society think about me?…” so on and so forth. You need law to assure them that they are not helpless, it is something wrong which is done against them and they have every right to protect themselves.

    @Kavi

    Thanks for your comments. I would await your comments.

    Reply
  60. Prassoon Suryadas

    youthkiawas -> “Battering of men by their spouse and family members has become a concerned issue and is another form of domestic violence under purview of judiciary.”

    I was mentioning about this. Which judiciary is he talking about? Certainly not Indian judiciary. Our Supreme Court says “Obey your wife”

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Bow-down-before-your-wifes-diktat-SC-tells-husbands/articleshow/4552535.cms

    Madhu kishwar is reasonably sensible in women’s issues but those who run Organizations like Centre for Women’s Studies & Development and reports made for them like Celine Sunny are radical feminists who don’t know what they want and don’t know what they are doing.

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  61. YouthKiAwaaz

    @Kavi: Yes you are right. And that is what the author has also mentioned in the article. Do read and comment :)

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  62. YouthKiAwaaz

    @MDM: It has often been seen that if laws are not included in the conflict the fight takes a horrendous turn. One of the parties suffers unimaginably. Laws are very well required.

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  63. YouthKiAwaaz

    @Prassoon: Thanks for the comment Prassoon! But no where in the article does the author say that their are laws for men who face domestic violence. He clearly reiterates what you have said in the line “It reflects the need for a special law for curbing domestic violence against men in present times.” Also, references such as IndiaTogether.org and all others are well known. Also, if you have solutions then we would really appreciate if you could enrich our audiences with the same.

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  64. Kavi

    There is only one observation as of now that needs your immediate attention and redressal.

    You mentioned that big proportion of “violence against woman” is not
    reported and linking it to woman’s unwillingness to report it. I do not
    know the facts but I’ve read same things over and over.

    I assert that violence against men is also heavily under-reported for
    reasons that include men’s unwillingness, society’s denial, lack of
    awareness on whom to approach and societies overall apathy bordering
    on ridicule against the man who wishes to notify DV against him.

    I Will read ur article in detail and may come back with more suggestions.

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  65. MDM

    Folks – When you use law, please understand that its not going to help solve any family problems .. but will ensure seperation. If you have kids or any idea of living your husband ever in future, never go to Law. Law will ensure a permanent seperation and enough money lost in the whole process not only for your husband but also for you. even if he had any idea of paying maintenance, he will ensure that you pay the brunt to get that and no divorce for the next 5+ years and you need to get to court for the 4+ years.

    As Indians, we deeply respect our family and family ties. Dont break the ties in the name of law. Family issues cannot be solved by groups. It can be solved by husband and wife if they understand the consequences and become mature. Take a break, if you feel your relation with husband is not going the way you want.. take atleast a year and see how your husband acts and then see if Law can help you.. But dont take some steps because law allows you to do that.. .Law is the end means and it can’t be the starting point

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  66. Prassoon Suryadas

    Author just did some armchair analysis and failed to recognise the reality completely. No offense, but as a matter of fact, his legal knowledge is not up to the mark. There are currently no laws to protect men from domestic violence. And the reasons given for violence against men are totally absurd and no where close to reality. The references used are one sided feminazi dung heap. I would suggest not to spoil the reputation of the institution he belongs to by publishing this kinda articles.

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  67. meena

    I reside in chennai, ECR road area. i’m the victim of Doemstic violence. i’m undergoing torture by my in-laws and my husband just for money.i was beaten up and kicked vey badly by my husband. my in-laws use all vulgar words to scold me and my dad for no reason. i’m mentally tortured.don’t know what to do. Please help me whom i should contact.

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  68. YouthKiAwaaz

    Hi Pratima,

    We have emailed the details to the email ID given by you. We hope it helps.

    Team Youth Ki Awaaz

    Reply
  69. Pratima

    Dear sir,
    I ama victim of domestic mental torture.Pleaseeee… help me by giving address of some organisation which can help me get out of this situation .I am in Mumbai till 17th Then at Baroda later.

    Reply
  70. YouthKiAwaaz

    @Atul: Dear Atul, the details have been emailed to you. Please act now and seek their help.

    Reply
  71. atul phatak

    Resp Sir,
    I’m as well a victim of domestic violence residing in nasik (maharashtra) & desperately in need of legal help for the same. Kindly help me by giving concerned organisation add/email add/contact nos as soon as possible, so that I’m able to fend myself from the concerned further atrocity by my wife against me.
    Regards,
    Atul.Phatak

    Reply
  72. Bell Bajao

    This is great information. Our goal has been to ensure that people become aware of domestic violence. Although the situation doesn’t seem to improve at all. There have been campaigns like Flat No. 303 ( http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=225117001899&ref=ts ).. where group owners found out that many think that domestic violence doesn’t exist and later when admins educated … many accepted that domestic violence is in front of their eyes… its just that they couldn’t see it!

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  73. Ashish Kumar

    wooooaaaahhhhhhhh !!!!
    what a write up…..too much of thinking and elaboration…..
    I think it deals with each and every possible reason for sparking
    domestic violence in a home…Consequences discussed are
    also elaborate and reflect deep understanding of the author abt this social evil prevalent in our society…..Thumbs up :-)

    Reply