Hope and Faith: My Conversations with God

Posted on July 8, 2010 in Shout Out

By Arijit Paladhi:

“There are two kinds of people who deserve a reward for their faih. Compulsive gamblers and people of divine persuasion.”- Mario Puzo

I decided to jam with God. Yea don’t blink all right. You read it right. I had a well-nutritioned discussion with God. So yea, I was reflective this Sunday, sitting alone and mulling over world affairs. God came suddenly, and sat next to me. I was hardly surprised by his arrival. You see, I considered myself important enough since childhood to warrant a trip from God himself. That’s faith. Believe it or not. It’s not always rewarded though. I still fail sometimes in exams now and then, inspite of my faith in God.

God:- So Arijit, say how’s it going?.

Me:- Everything’s ok Boss. Just thinking about the world and all. The happenings going on.

Dunno why at this point God slyly arched his eyebrows when he looked at me. Slowly, he let out a crooked grin.

God:- World eh? You know who you are lying to? You were just thinking about your life.

Me(defensively) :- Well yeah. When did I say my world doesn’t revolve around me?

God(sheepishly):- Oh yeah that’s true. Sorry I misinterpreted. And you are thinking that your life sucks eh?

I looked at this guy. He was middle-aged. Not a white hair on his body like shown those mythological T.V serials. He was dressed in a crisp linen white shirt and pale blue jeans. His soft pepper and salt hair looked windswept, as if he had just parachuted into my room. Well maybe he had. I just didn’t give it much thought. Apparently, this was one cool God. I wondered if I could use profanity.

God grinned – “Well, you can though I wouldn’t appreciate it you know. There are certain customs that ought to be followed. Swearing in front of your elders isn’t that up in my list but then again,  you are someone who you are. So it’s upto you kid.” He smiled. It was beatific, an all-knowing grin. This was really cool.

Me:- Thanx Sir-

God:- “Don’t “Sir” me. I’m allergic to it.”

I stalled. I strained my brain for a topic. Nothing came. “What do you mean when you said that? I am who I am? What was that?”

God looked thoughtful just for an instant. Then he said – “You are a puzzle Arijit. Well, all of us are. Even me. I’m a puzzle for people out there who have to figure me out for themselves. You are a puzzle which you have to figure out for yourself. There are people in this world who throw in the towel just because there seems to be no way out. Trust me when I say this but there’s always a way out–

I had to interrupt him. “That is pure crap. Forgive me I just swore but you know what? You have made this cryptic but there’s no reason for that. Innocent people have no reason to die just because they have been caught in the crossfire. It’s one thing to say Karma and quite another to actually get a life out here. You deny that?”

God smile again. It was innocent. ” I like fire son. You have fire. We all do. It dies out. You know why? Situations. Circumstances. Ethics. It’s a jungle that I have created out there. You can accuse me of partiality son but never accuse me of injustice. I have my ways. They are classy and they work. That’s why I still have the job kid.” He gave a goofy grin and continued – “Sacrilege is acceptable for otherwise you’ll never realize what you have lost. You need to cry. Not because that imbibes faith in the Almighty and makes you realize you are nothing but a mere vulnerable insect in my scheme of things. No. You need to cry just to make sure you never cry about the same reason twice. Yes people are dying out there. It never makes me flinch. You want to know what does?” He stopped.

I stared, held captive by the charm. He was charismatic, a strange mix of the euphoric and an effervescent craze. I nodded slightly.

He continued – “People commiting suicide. Ending their lives. The ones I gave them. Destroying it is one thing for that is the way they chose to live it. And why? Low grades. Lost love. Debt. That makes me flinch of what I have created. It makes me want to send a catastrophe out here. Maybe then people will realize what they are shoving around. Life isn’t a commodity you bargain for death. Always remember that.”

Heavy. It was heavy. Yet, this guy sitting next to me made sense. But time was up. I just didn’t realize it yet.

Do you know why you are talking to me now?” – God asked.

I had no clue. I mean, come to think of it I actually had no clue AT ALL. I was an atheist after all. I was sure he knew that. So why me of all people in this universe?

I negated. “Dunno”- I said.

He grinned. ” I saw a T-shirt couple of days back. You know what it said?”

I negated again. I was almost a rag doll in front of him now. I was doing his bidding. Of the guy I pretty much hated. Of someone I didn’t believe in.

“I was an atheist until I realized I was God.” The smile was child-like, captivating.

Then it was gone. Nothing. I dropped to the the bed, swaying as a heavy mist of sleep clouded me. I hadn’t asked him any questions. He had not given me answers. Yet, I found some answers. Somewhere. I had to figure out my puzzle myself. That was what I was meant to do. And God was within me.

Or something of that kind, I thought incoherently as I lulled off into a dreamless, seamless sleep. Amen.

image: http://beaconforlife.blogs.com/pastoral_coach/living_in_the_presence_of_god/

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Anirudh

Superb ‘conversation’ Arijit,the need to cry is beautifully reasoned !

    Arijit

    Thanks Anirudh. Glad you like it.

Radhika

It’s pretty neat that you can have a conversation with someone you dont belive exists~!
A great read, i think its reaLLY important for us all to connect with God, in our own way – and think its great that u had this conversation :)

    Arijit

    Thanks a ton Radhika. I’m equally glad you could read the conversation I had.

Sadhogopal Ram

One of the most enjoyable read of my life in recent times.. really, man.. it was simple.. non cynical .. there wasn’t any deliberate sarcasm in it.. seemed perfectly real.. and most of all.. IT ACTUALLY CONNECTED. Myself an atheist too.. and sometime I feel strongly the way you expressed yourself in here.

To sum it up.. Quite sensible one.

Commendable work, Arijit.

Arijit

Thank you so much Sadhogopal. That was my intention when I wrote it. Banter and light humor. Thank you again for enjoying the read.

babitha

The Mario Puzo quote at the beginning and the whole article just perfectly put together. Thanks Arjit for the article. I could relate to it very well. Reminds me of the folloeing quote

“The most important conversation you have, is with yourself”

#StartTheChange

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