4 Out Of 10 Women Face Domestic Violence Everyday. Do You Care Enough?

Posted on September 24, 2011 in Society

By Kriti Pal:

“…the wife: however brutal or tyrant she may unfortunately be chained to-though she may know that he hates her, though it may be his daily pleasure to torture her, and though she may feel it impossible not to loathe him- (he) can claim from her and enforce the lowest degradation of a human being, that of being made an instrument of an animal function contrary to her inclinations.” – John Stuart Mill

The above sentence does more than just give words to the situation one woman out of three has to face, not only in our country but all over the world. Domestic violence against woman is not a thing of the present times. It has been going on for donkey’s years and unless it is fought against and uprooted completely, will continue hence. Then be it husbands, fathers, brothers or uncles, the person may differ but the pattern will remain the same.

A frustrated man coming back home for work can evidently find no other way to vent out his anger than beating up the woman in his house and picking up the smallest of reasons to justify that. A glass of water slipping out of her hand, or the food lacking a pinch of salt becomes something that goes way beyond the matters that can be sorted out by the word of mouth. And sometimes it happens without a reason too. The worst part is that both the parties in this case get so used to it that nothing is done to change the scenario.

The violence is not just confined to physical but psychological violence -which includes verbal abuse harassment, confinement and deprivation of physical, financial and personal resources- is also a part of it. The emotional attacks sometime impact the women in a way that is even worse than physical abuse, undermining her self-confidence and breaking her up internally.

My domestic help, more often than not, shows up with bruises which are evidently not the marks someone gets due to tripping on the road. After being questioned incessantly, she once narrated how her husband hits her for he thinks she’s cheating on him when she’s actually out there fending for the family, while he sits at home drinking and inviting his friends for a game of cards. Why, I ask, does she have to put up with it? The society, she says, the ‘society’ won’t let her children live without questioning about their father a million times, and she, being a woman, will be an easy target for the men of the area she lives in. My advising powers only go so far.

Often, the injuries go up to bruises and fractures to chronic disabilities. It also has devastating repercussions on the family

Mothers are unable to care for their children properly. Often they transmit to them their own feelings of low self-esteem, helplessness and inadequacy. Violence against women is the most pervasive human rights violation in world today. We need to think and ponder as how this form of degradation of women can be stopped. It needs support from all quarters be it government, NGOs and women themselves. There is also a need to improve women’s economic capacities that include access to and control of income and assets and also share in the family’s property. The government should strengthen and expand training and sensitization programs.

Youth Ki Awaaz

India's largest platform for young people to express themselves on critical issues - making best use of new media and online journalism.

Submit Your Story

Comments

You must be logged in to comment.

If you sign up with Google, Twitter or Facebook, we’ll automatically import your bio which you will be able to edit/change after logging in. Also, we’ll never post to Twitter or Facebook without your permission. We take privacy very seriously. For more info, please see Terms.

Ajay Singh

what about the domestic violence committed by woman? the problem with indian women, the moment you give them chance to speak they all start complaining.
with this kind of attitude,even after everything is changed in your favor you wont stop CRYING.

Look what you have done and with every initiative that was done for you
a) Domestic violence law and Dowry law is being constantly misused for harassment and money extortion

b) Reservation is being used as ONLY tool to get higher post and jobs

c) The high profile case of Shiney Ahuja and IMG chief dominique strauss-kahn has once again proved the use of rape as a tool to target men

d) In the name of fashion, young women feel proud to appear “half naked” on street and pubs. In the name of being modern, you have come to smoking and drinnking.what a SHAME !!!!!

Kriti

Dear Ajay,

I’m sorry for all that you have to suffer being a ‘MAN’. What you did here was not at all ‘CRYING’ or ‘WHINING’ of any sorts. I understand what all you have to go through. :)
It must be difficult not being stared at your body or not being groped every now and then. It must be hard coming back to a wife who prepares tea for you as soon as you do (to the ones who don’t get it, my sympathies). It must be hard giving or accepting bribe than being asked for sexual favors.
Must be hard to see an honest, hard-working woman climb up a post.
It all, I know, must be very hard on “men” like YOU.

Shiney’s case, for one has not been proven; and as far as Strauss Kahn is concerned, he might just have paid the poor maid off.

Talk about rapes that happen every single day, why don’t you?

You men walk around with the buttons of your shirt open, even in vests for that matter but women don’t jump onto you when you are “HALF-NAKED”. Or do they?
NOTHING happens in the name of being modern. Times change, people evolve and it’s too bad if you cannot accept that.

You men take a pee wherever you feel like; and let’s not get down to the ratio of male to female smokers or drinkers.

You, my dear dear friend, suffer a lot. Again, I sympathize with you for leading such a life where you carry the burden of being the family’s ‘izzat’ and are hurled abuses at every now and then for living your life the way you want to. Too bad.

    Raj

    How about cutting out the condescending crap and and acknowledge that there are some men who are victims of such laws? Violent crimes claim mostly men’s lives far more than women’s lives. Most of the crappiest , most dangerous jobs are still being done by men. Why is it that a mother (forget the father, he’s already brainwashed by the society) has no issues sending her son to his death by joining the Army, paramilitary forces, police etc. ? Why aren’t women encouraged to go get killed and earn medals?

    Why isn’t it acceptable for a man to take care of the house and spend money that his wife earns working herself to death? Does the society(which includes both men and women) allow this? Will this caring unemployed house-husband even get married?

    Why do men get censured when they waste their money on drinking instead of taking care of the family? I agree that alcoholism is bad, but isn’t that his money that he has earned? Why can’t the wife also earn half the money required to support the house and the kids?

    I have been “groped”(often unintentionally) so many times by both men and women in crowded buses. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if I started throwing a hissy fit every time that happened?

    Let’s face it, for hundreds of years men have been treated as disposable foot-soldiers of the society. At a young age, he is taught to numb his feelings and act in an altruistic (or as I call it , suicidal) manner. He has been forced to fight in bloody wars for the defense of the society. His value is measured only by his ability to render a service to the society as a whole. If he must get married he must prove his worth first by earning some degree of wealth and fame. He can’t just play cute and do housework; he must get himself a standing in the society or no one is going to marry him. And marriage itself is a huge burden for men, in which they have to take care of wife and kids.

    I’m not discounting the crap women have gone through the ages, but I hate it when absolutely no concern is given for men. Our society has evolved and reached here because of the roles our male and female ancestors played. Men went out there into the jungles, into the mines, into the armies and factories and risked their lives to build a structure to support the society. Women took care of the home(which was no easy feat, especially when you don’t have modern gadgets), risked their lives during child-birth(modern medicine is just 200 years old) and raised kids which ensured the progression of our species.

    But now, we have evolved to a state beyond our primitive concern for biological survival.So we should move beyond these gender roles. Unlike feminists and masculists, I see people as individuals and I support everyone’s right to exist for their own sake and not to be pawns of their society

Similar Posts

#StartTheChange

Submit your story