“I Have Sexual Desires And I Am Not A Slut”

Posted on March 7, 2013 in Staff Picks, Trending, Youth and Sexuality

Submitted anonymously:

We live in a world today where people still feel shy to go buy a condom, where a woman has to think a thousand times before freely buying a contraceptive pill, where if you get pregnant and you’re not married you’ll have to run to another city to get an abortion or “people” might find out.

People might find out you’re sexually active, that you chose to have sex with a man and even worse, you chose to have sexual desires while you were unmarried. Come on! You’re a woman! You’re not allowed to think like that! All those men walking around flaunting the number of women they’ve been with, is fine, that’s acceptable, they’re men, sex is their thing! But you, woman, having any inclination towards accepting your sexual desires is not right.

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We live in a world today that’s talking about gender equality, sexual education, the fight against AIDS, but this is the same world that denies a woman the right to “want” sex, to express her desires, her wants. It’s a man’s world where porn objectifies women, where we are led to believe by our society, by every other person around us that sex isn’t for a woman’s pleasure, it’s something that satisfies a man and a woman gives into, if not by pressure then just to please the man. Look around and you’ll find a billion examples of this.

How did a woman’s sexual needs become desperation and a man’s their birthright?

I want to live in a world where its fine for me to want an orgasm, I want to live in a world where I can sit on a table with men and women and discuss my sex life if I want to, I want to live in a world where how many men is it okay to sleep with is my prerogative and not anyone else’s’, I want to live in a world where I can carry a condom and ask him if he’ll come home with me.

And no, this does not mean I’m a slut, neither does it make me someone who will sleep with just anybody. I want to live in a world where sex isn’t a power game, where it isn’t about making a man feel happy, where it isn’t an activity that makes him ejaculate. I want to live in a world where I can enjoy sex and say it in just those many words.

I want to live in a world where I have sexual freedom. Do you?

Photo Credit: kelsey_lovefusionphoto via Compfight cc

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Ann M

It’s true our society is repressed when it comes to women and sex. Women have as much sexual desire as men, and making it seem trivial or shameful only makes things worse. People dont realise that these cultural stigmas tht we now blindly follow were probably meant at some point, to prevent a cultural stigma that was prevalent at that point in time. One of the main reasons being unwanted pregnancy. And while propogating sex rights for women is wonderful, I think there should be more of a focus on responsible sex, as opposed to simply the freedom of having sex. For men and women. Sex and sexual encounters do have a degree of danger involved. Education is key! At the right time, propoer sex ed for both boys and girls can bring about the right change.

Indira Mohanty

I have a bone to pick with the author of this piece. I have a bone to pick with every person who uses the word slut to brand women, however varied that branding may be. I believe even a sex worker should not be called a slut or a whore. Either she was forced into that profession and does not know of a way out. In which case it is cruel inhuman to call her that. Else it is her prerogative just like its mine to sleep with only the men i love. Even the woman who sleeps with every man she comes across, why should she be called a slut .. because she doesnt conform to your standard of morality..??? Remember you dont conform to someone else’s !

rebel4gud

both men and women have sexual urges.the question here is not whose sexual urge is justified.i feel that as a society the so called’ one night stands’ should not be encouraged.i might sound conservative, and i feel both men and women should see sex as something more valuable than just an act of enjoyment.i am not saying that a couple in a relationship or a married couple should not have sex , but a girl or boy should’nt indulge in sex with different people (one night stands).sex is something to be responsible with.

Rakesh

I agree that author is trying to have equality for being able to declare socially her sexual desires.But whom she wants to declare that? Friends,Family or strangers? And as far as I know I haven’t seen any guy talking about sex in their family or most probably the strangers”Whoo! I can’t control my sexual desire.Let’s get laid.” Even Guys don’t do that as far as in the World I’ve seen.And even if someone do that I don’t think it’s coz of his morals or rights.Instead he isn’t able to determine what is right or wrong.I have too lost my sense of direction of whether what is right or wrong.Everyone here is right to their point and true by oneself.But I have a question for the author”When asking about equality for sexual desires,is it alright to cheat or have sex with someone other than your spouse?”

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