“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” – William Shakespeare
The day is knocking on the doors–the day of re-expressing one’s old love, the day of nascent propositions, the day of cheerful eyes and dimpled cheeks. The day of love, love all around. But what is this special day that everybody seems to be pulling up their socks in an effort to present their best to their lovers? It is none other than Valentine’s Day, celebrated globally on the 14th of February.
What’s the twist?
Valentines Day is commonly regarded as the day of lovers. Being lovers, here, refers to the relationship between two partners having emotional and sexual interest in each other. But it is not simply a day of red roses and heart shaped balloons. Valentine’s Day has much more to offer than material gifts. Imagine what Shahrukh Khan would do to Gauri to impress her? Or is it too boring to even discuss? They are after all, an age-old couple made for each other and fell in love way back. Then may be we could talk about the Ranbir and Deepika? But oh no! Even they have broken up even before the V day has even arrived…The only thing left for us to discuss is to think about the everyday office going commoners and college going lovers, leaving the stars bathed in limelight, aside.
Extraordinary Within the Ordinary
Instead of rummaging through shops for the most precious gift that “the ladka deewana sa” should give his “ladki anjani si” in order to make a “manohar prem kahani”, a person should make an attempt to be innovative and unique .The “kuch aur idea” factor is important. For instance, a hand made card speaks a thousand words of heart felt emotions; much more than an expensive jewel can. It is more of the depth attached to the gifts that makes it precious; not the amount of cash spent on it. So how can a person choose a gift for his sweetheart? The answer is simple. Select gifts from the options that are available. It is the artistry for making common things appear uncommon, wherein lies the thought that the lover has gone through, prior to the choice of the gift.
So what are the so called commonest of the materials present at hand? The answer that comes foremost to our minds is flowers and cards. But how can anyone make a bouquet of roses seem special in the eyes of a sensitive woman? After all, as King Khan sang the tunes of “Jadoo teri nazar” in Darr, we know how magical a woman’s gaze can be. So in order to make the “jadoo” work, the presentation must be great too! For instance, instead of giving her a bunch of typical red roses, one can always remove the red petals and gift her a basket of fresh rose petals , with small knick knacks hidden underneath. This will turn the gift giving ceremony into something more eventful, adventurous and exciting–something like a treasure hunt that we all played in our innocent days of childhood.
The second most common gift item is cards. Now presentation of cards also requires improvisation. By improvisation, what is meant is the new approach of giving the same old folded paper. The small lines that one scribbles as the woman starts to turn the front cover, after a short glance, is what makes all the difference. It is preferable to pen down comments regarding the events or the warm moments that the two have spent together, instead of quoting the clichÃ©d quotes that one finds on almost every internet site.
What’s magical in the hands of the femme fatale?
What advice can we give to a woman so that she can make her man go weak in the knees? Well, again, the same suggestion is equally applicable to a woman. She should try to give an extraordinary touch to something pretty usual or ordinary. Instead of making the mind go crazy with odd thoughts, while playing the music of “O re mann who tu toh baawra hain/tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hain”, the woman should stop the ‘soch’ for romantic ideas and instead focus on the appetite of the man. After all, Erich Segal seems to be right when he said that “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked”.
Just to cite an example, since we all know that a man’s heart is through his stomach, the woman can make use of this occasion to cook up some simple, mouth watering delicacies–something that she does not get a scope to do in the ordinary, busy-scheduled, monotonous and fast paced everyday life. This will definitely make the man feel special in the life of his woman. This feeling of making your partner realize that you need him is one of the pillar stones of any relationship. After all, a relationship goes through many disagreements, but the root of a relationship remains firm when you still stand beside each other and still hold each others hands-“the hum saath saath hain” factor.
Valentine’s Day is one such occasion to reinvent the old gloss that generally fades away with the passage of time.
Time to make those special people feel ‘special’
Going beyond the gift giving ceremony to one’s lovers, it is also a special day to express one’s warmth to one’s parents, siblings and relatives. Replacing an old pair of mother’s sandals with a new one, to getting a new tie to your newly joined corporate brother, or installing a new heater in your father’s bedroom so that he feels comfortable in the days of extreme chill are some of the ways in which a person can show his/her love towards her relations within the family. After all, it is the family that is responsible in the development of the character of a person–in the making of what one is…
Leave aside Commerce for those loveless people!
From the sale of chocolates and cards to florists, Valentines Day is the occasion to make the maximum profit from the sale of gift items. After all, these gifts are nothing but small tokens of love that give voice to the intimacy in a relationship — a relationship that varies from the passionate romance of lovers to the non-sexual platonic bonding of familial love. This makes the relationship more of a commercial nature than the actual feelings associated with it. Well, well the trick lies there. After all, Anil Ambani could easily have given his wife, Tina Ambani anything as simple as a cutlery set instead of an aeroplane to prove his love on her birthday!
Keeping aside the profit making purposes, it is important for us to realize the importance of giving vent to our forgotten or suppressed emotions for the person for whom we care, by whom we desire to be in times of need, with whom we like to share the moments worthy of being called memorable; In short, the person who is close to our heart. The person with whom we would like to hold our hands tight till we are old, as expressed in Browning’s words: “Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.”
Valentine’s Day gives an opportunity to express our emotions to those whom we could not give enough time and space in the humdrum of everyday life, for love is only a word until and unless, one’s loved ones takes the effort of giving it meaning–meaning enough to make a person feel special in the eyes of the loved being.
A bell is no bell ’til you ring it,
A song is no song ’til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay –
Love isn’t love
‘Til you give it away.
~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music, “You Are Sixteen (Reprise)”
The writer is a Features correspondent at Youth Ki Awaaz.