Lewitt Somarajan the author of “On the Ninth Cloud” and a Special Correspondent at Youth Ki Awaaz gives us a prologue of his book.
“On the Ninth Cloud, learn what the purpose behind every reason is, thus learn the reason behind the very purpose to be served”.
And he woke up with a similar pain in his head after having such a dream, for years now. But today was special, as, it was his birthday: his 18th one. From childhood, he was gifted in his own way -he possessed a highly evolved spirit; He could feel the sufferings of others as well as appreciate the wonders of mystic life; He could differentiate between the permanent & transient in life & knew well, it is love which feeds the soul of mankind & gives that much coveted ultimate peace, not the materialistic possessions.
He thought about the dream he had, for a while & then closed his eyes to account some of the moments of last date with his love… his beloved whom he used to call ‘angel’.
His life took a turn around, the day he met his angel. It was some evening, 11 months before, while he was walking through a lawn, completely frustrated &hating self for his soul was not in peace with the universe. Introspecting & asking his inner world: what love is? Why do we love? How to attain success which could be held, forever? Suddenly, a feminine voice called him from behind & he saw her for the first time! 11 months later, still he often thinks what life it would have been; if that day he wouldn’t have met her…his beloved…his angel.
For him, the past 11 months was infinity in itself for he could see his own being in every entity of this universe: He could contemplate the silence within to realize, love is the only divine feeling which separates humanity from animality: He could speak the language of the universe where words are a mere formality: the beauty which could be felt, but not expressed: All this & more he learned to experience only because he could love his beloved… his angel beyond all universal senses.
This birthday was special, as, he was not going to be alone. He merely had a few good friends: rest of them thought, he was insane.
Today, he invited all his best friends to be with him & his angel. He never introduced her to his friends in the past 11 months but his friends had certainly noticed some changes in him, in the recent past. The way he used to approach even the small intricacies of life changed & his friends were very happy about it, though they never had an idea that these changes of seasons in his life was brought about by a girl with whom he had fallen madly in love. On his 18th birthday, he wanted to give all his friends a huge surprise, but knew not, life is going to spring the biggest surprise on him. At least not till, he became 21!!!
Door bell rang & he opened the door to greet his dear guests.
‘Happy Birthday’ said his friend & handed over to him a huge bouquet.
One by one all his friends followed: some gave him tight hug, some gave him birthday kiss & some gave him even birthday bombs. Never was he so happy all these years & wished he could freeze this moment for ever…They started partying, dancing, playing songs but all the time he was keeping an eye on the door to greet his beloved…his angel.
‘She never used to be late’ thought he.
Side by side his friends were constantly forcing him to unveil the suspense.
But he said -‘wait till the grace to embrace this hour’.
At last she came!!! Dressed in a gorgeous black silk gown; her hair flowing like a river on her shoulders; with her elegant smile as if embracing the whole atmosphere- she walked towards him & gave a passionate kiss making that moment for him feel like an eternity.
When he turned to introduce her to all his friends; he felt like everybody, blinded by the heavenly grace & beauty of his beloved, is paying a mute respect to her. But the reason for their silence was quiet different.
Finally he raised a toast in the honor of his beloved…his angel & said:-
‘My dear friends…… Today I know that love is most beautiful feeling which is beyond the heights of heaven, deeper than the depths of ocean & stranger than the dimensions of time: Love is the only eternal fire which purifies the spirit from greed, lust, anger & ego & elevates the human spirit above the never ending shackles of life & death: In this hour, love blessed me in the form of my beloved angel so that I could carry the flame of love & pass on the wisdom of love to our children who itself will be the symbol of our divine & true love’.
He heard the clapping of his friends surrounding him & felt as if everyone is dancing to the tunes of his heart strings, driven by the passion of love.
He then knelt down on his left leg; took her hand in his & said in a calm voice -“Everyday often I used to ask the reason for my being, what I am seeking for…But now I know it was for you dear; I am living, I was living & I will live…So that I can cherish each & every moment like a wind, like a river & like the sunrays; So that I can feel the infinity through you, not knowing the destiny: Whatever form the fate will take, doesn’t matter, as our love is mystic; having the beauty to give that epiphany of the ultimate peace; Coloring even the faintness; bridging even the unknowns; Realizing which I could hold forever”:
“I LOVE YOU DEAR… YOU ARE MY ANGEL…THE REASON AS WELL AS THE PURPOSE OF MY EXISTENCE”
He remembers not anything what happened next.
It was like a long, deep slumber where forgetting all worldly worries, he was in the arms of his soul mate; His soul was in complete harmony with his beloved, as slumber restored the happy phantoms of hope & desire; His heart was ferrying in the serene ocean of love, where his dreams acted as a shield to protect him from the harsh realities of practicality: He knew not what life lay in store for him when he is going to face this callous world, otherwise he would have surrendered himself to that sweet slumber till eternity…
When he opened his eyes, he found himself in a mental asylum; He was told by his friends & doctors that he is Schizophrenic!!! At his birthday party, there was a deep silence among his friends when he was proposing to his beloved, as they could not see anyone to whom he is proposing!!! One of his friends, a psychiatrist, became so worried by his state that he took him to a mental asylum to diagnose what is wrong with him. There, the doctors after detailed check-up & consultancy came to a conclusion that he is suffering from schizophrenia…a kind of mental disorder whose symptoms include inappropriate actions & feelings & withdrawal from reality into fantasy.
There was no angel!!! His beloved… his angel was in his fantasy world “On the Ninth Cloud” which he manifested to escape the real world where he is devoid of love; where he could feel only the silence of darkness; where destiny chose him to suffer because of being neglected by his own youth; where he found no happiness how hard he tried to & at last he learned to be-friend his own solitude. This inferiority complex in him gave birth to “On the Ninth Cloud”, a hypothetical world where he was free to love; to be loved; to express his desires; his thoughts; to live with his contradictions & to quench his own soul with peace.
‘Your inability to overcome your own prejudices resulted in the manifestation of a fantasy world, where you found the much needed solace in the form of your angel.’ doctor concluded, after one month of close diagnosis.
‘But doctor…I can still feel her… I can still feel how she used to caress me, as if I were her kid; I can still feel her unconditional love, which took me towards that ultimate peace; I can still feel the warmth of her breath wherein I am unleashed & be one with the force; I can still feel that unsaid assurance she used to infuse in me every time our soul merged into each other’ said he.
His eyes filled with the tears of helplessness before the stillness of great force & he continued, “though my beloved is not with me, she is always with me; in my thought; in my actions: Destiny cannot separate us like this, for, my love for her is the absolute truth in itself.”
Doctor handed over to him a prescription & said, “Take these medicines regularly & try to keep your-self busy.”
Then the doctor gave him a tight hug & whispered in his ears in a fatherly tone, “Son!! More you will try to make the things complex around you, more you will find entangled in life’s web of complexities.”
“Forget everything what has happened, & try to seek happiness & satisfaction in each & every moment of life.”
“Always remember, life will neither give you more nor less than what you truly deserves.”
And he left the asylum, while his heart was drinking happiness & sorrow at the same time from the cup of life.
Three years passed by. The only time he used to go outside was in the evening, to take a walk through the lush green lawn, where he first met his angel; yearning that life will once again bless him with his beloved.
He never met his angel again, but his love for her increased day by day until it became a kind of mute worship. He spent his days hoping against hope to meet her & his nights in a spiritual quest of love through the simplicity of life. Though his mind said, ‘she is just a hallucination’ deep within his heart, he knew one day his angel would come & her grace would embrace his soul again.
On his 21st birthday, while he was taking a walk through the lawns, he met her again!!! She took him in her arms & they both cried; passionately kissing each other. Then she said, “Oh! Dear, science may call our love a delusion but you & I know the truth; the eternal truth that we are one:”
“Write my love ‘On the Ninth Cloud’ to let the world know: – love is the sole purpose behind every reason that exists & nurturing that love is the reason behind the very purpose to be served in life”
“But, I am not a writer”, said he.
And she said smilingly, “You have already written it, dear. You just have to fill those thoughts with the ink so that the followers of love may embrace it in their hearts forever.”
The writer is a Special Correspondent of Youth Ki Awaaz and also the author of “On the Ninth Cloud.”