Love has a plethora of meaning attributed to it. It’s the driving force behind life. But why the essence of love is missing in our life can be related to the fact that we are constantly being taught to love others, love our neighbors ,friends, family and country but the missing link is the very fact that none of the teaching goes to propagate the idea that love yourself first. It’s important here that there is nothing like first love or last love but it’s a continuum of the seed that goes on transforming like a banyan tree. Love slowly graduates from conditional to unconditional and transcends to bliss. The entire cosmos is under the influence of this divine force. Love is what you relate to passionately it may be animate or inanimate but it’s not a relationship indeed. Its action it has dynamicity has momentum and complex trajectory it’s rather a verb than a noun. The relational flexibility that love has is tremendous being in love is an opportunity where at least between two person the hypocrisy is dissolved there is every possibility that this may further lead to ego dissolution and give a chance of expressing the infinity within. But in order to hold it and possess it the plasticity is lost then love dies in infancy.
But the contemporary concepts of love has been influenced by media and contaminated by the materialistic approach thus narrowing the meaning. The public display of love that we see is conditionally programmed with a hidden motif. Don’t you think that the love birds in park are just satiating their desire and illicitly succumbing to sudden outburst of passion? This is not anyway love it’s a flight in to the sky of fantasy and every fantasy has a shelf life it will definitely end. I do not want to act as a moral police but would like to put the problem in right perspective. Sex can never be blamed and it’s not at all to be criticized as it’s the blissful expression of procreation. We often keep on criticizing sex but isn’t it true that the seed sown in mud bears blossoming flower at the top so mud is dirty and flower is beautiful this logic is a bit irrational. But the truth is just transformed energy from soil to flower. Likewise is a journey of sex to that of realization bliss and beauty. We should always keep in mind that ever cell in the body is a sex cell. Act in the universe like pollination is also a sexual procedure but we need to come out of our preconceived notions to appreciate love in totality.
Just type the word love in Google and you will have more than a million hits. There are calculators for love; there are theories also and off course love gurus to solve your love related problem. But mind you these problems are not love related but relationship related in nature. Love has insecurity its diving in to sea of unknown treasure it has freshness of blossoming flowers but in an attempt to secure we make it stale, it stinks and stagnate its friction rather than smooth acceleration then , the momentum seizes and the possibility to transcend and understand the higher impersonal love around is crippled and challenged. It’s important to understand how to relate than to jump in to relationship that’s what Krishna’s love for Gopis. There should be a school of thought that should propagate the love for oneself first.
Love leaves you with profound experiences the bounding of mighty hearts creates musicality in your being. The whole purpose of live lies in love and being loved. There is no place of ego when one rises in love every action is not a work then it’s not tiring but rather it’s the expression of gentle souls and quite refreshing. Personally speaking I am fortunate enough to be loved but I do not have girl friends, I have ladies who have shaped my thought process at large be it my mother, sister, colleagues and the few special ones who have walked along in my journey and touched my soul without any give and take commitments. I relate to all those I have never had a breakup rather there has been ‘relational punctuations’ mostly commas but never a full stop. They all are still my loved ones with whom I open deep secrets of life and they respond to it. Life is a miracle and to experience it in totality god created love. So let the streams of love flowing within not be viewed under the confines of relationship let the strong currents meet the sea of eternal love. Let us not do love by effort but become love itself. Let us not jump in to conclusions and understand the mystery of individuals, let the love be born and prevent it from dying in gestation because of our preconceived notions.
The writer is a research scholar by profession working at CDRI Lucknow, a freelancer and poet by passion.