First Love, it Really Matters…

Posted on March 17, 2010 in Specials

Swati Nandy:

“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end.”-Benjamin Disraeli. First love is quite a pretty powerful phenomenon. It serves as the opening chapter to the epic novel , that is, your love life. It is something that all of us experience; some in our adolescence and some at much later stages. Lucky are the few whose first love is their last, but everyone remembers their first love with a smile on their faces. It is a moment of fervent love and madness which can never be expressed in words. While some people learn to move on with their lives, others are still stuck with their first love. Yet, the people who move on realize later in their lives that the emotions once experienced during that time can never be realized again.

Adults who underestimate the strength of the bond , or the impact of the loss of a first love may have forgotten the blow they might have received when they had lost their first love. They may even try to comfort teenagers with light-hearted lessons, but this is not helpful. The loss of a first love can be so crushing to some teenagers that they become suicidal. The pain of the breakup will subside with time, but the love may stay buried and dormant for decades. While most men and women find satisfying partners after first love breakups, there are adults who spend their married lives aware of the fact that “something is missing”. They continue to think about their lost first loves. Perhaps, if they had married their first love when they were younger, they could have formed lasting and fulfilling marriages, but they will never know. Even the adults who have no current interest in their first love, including those who had only bitter memories, reveal that these early romances influenced their life-long attitudes about love, and even about themselves. First love, young love, is indeed real love. This intense love does not come along every ten minutes. For some people, it may come only once in a lifetime.

Most people , during their teenaged first love, experience that unbelievable longing and yearning, pain and joy, that huge great bundle of toxic emotions , allied to beauty and opening out into nature and to glory. Suddenly , they seem to be connecting you with every love poet and every love song ever written, that explosion in their head and heart will never be matched. You can never hope to recapture the first fine careless rapture as the poet put it, but it stays with you like a good acid trip. You know, you get a little flashback every now and again. It will never leave you and it teaches you to look at things differently and to feel things differently. It educates your soul if you like, and all first love is unrequited ultimately because it’s so huge. It’s such an act of giving and it requires so much back that it can never be given back and in that you wouldn’t necessarily want to give them back. It is like an atom bomb. It’s all the energy of who you are and who you want to be and what you love and what you hope to be explodes, and it is impossible for a single human being to offer that back to you in a mutual way. It would be like matter meeting antimatter.

First love is like magic, like the world is suddenly full of cherry blossoms and people playing the violin. It is all an elongated moment that you don’t want to forget. It goes on, even if in the slightest forms, till your last breath. The romanticism of the first love never dies. While most first loves are not meant to be forever, they usually leave behind some lingering. You always remember your first kiss, your first time, that first person who swept you off your feet. Even though your relationship came to an end, it is not possible to forget. You cannot move on completely and in most of the cases, you end up comparing your future relationships to your first love.