Aroha! Does selfless love exist?

Posted on April 17, 2010

Tanaya Singh:

Trust me; this is one of the most absurd questions I have ever heard. Look at it this way….by questioning the existence of selfless love; all we are doing is fencing over the probable existence of selfish love. And once the word “selfish” is attached to the word “love”, it no longer continues to be a part of this universe. Love is simply not designed to be selfish. As soon as we start classifying love into true, false, selfless, honest, good and evil, the very essence of this feeling which is so perfect and sublime gets blended with the numerous assortments of the materialistic world and is lost forever.

Yes, selfless love exists. Thankfully, as long as humans exist, the desire to love and be loved will exist. And if love exists, it has got to be selfless or else it is not love at all. It’s easy to say, “I love you”. The actual baffle manifests when you have to tell “yourself” that you love a particular person.

Love is the feeling of joy, the experience of freedom, your special propensity for people close to you, the demand for care, the divine emotion that makes you say that “love is life”. A hell of a lot of people out there are confused between the feeling of love and control, love and the assurance of being right. Things like expectations, control, demands, suppressions, fear, pain, hurt and insecurity are not associated with love. If you are in love, you don’t seek benefits or expect recognition; you don’t demand attention or be manipulative; you don’t check whether the person is worth your love or not. Nobody teaches you how to fall in love. It’s there; stored within you by default. There’s no place for doubts and ego in love.

So keep a watch. Because if you think that you are in love with your girlfriend and walk with her just because it makes you feel vainglorious to be seen with a girl so sexy and beautiful, the thing between the two of you is anything but love. If you love your dad only for that ATM card, you are an accomplished jackass. If you are with your boyfriend, for the sake of those beautiful gifts, do yourself a favour and call off the relationship; it’s fake. If you don’t have a shoulder to cry on when that is all that you want, go start searching for friends who love you.

Keep going. Love and be loved. Just be yourself.

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