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“Khush raho. Jeetey raho!!” Let’s Put an end to Honour Killing

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Nitisha Tripathi:

The ideal sequence of events in any land is:

A girl loves a boy.

The boy loves the girl.

So, the girl and the boy get married and live happily ever after.

Whereas, the sequence of events in the land of “caste’s” called India is:

A girl loves a boy.

The boy loves the girl.

So, they get married and if they are of the same “gotra” then the next day, their corpses are found hanging from the fan.

The “lived happily ever after” doesn’t exist here. Why will it be? After all, they insulted the reputation and ideals of their own communities by doing so. They were a complete failure at holding their families false pride. They did not respect the wants and desires of their communities because after all, marriages do not take place between two people and it is not their future which is to be thought of instead it is the communities whose future is at stake. And of course, you have to think about the community’s interest only. Who cares whether or not there is any consent of the two people who are actually getting married? Who cares whether or not there is any love between them which shall be united forever by the matrimonial bond? Nobody does. All that matters is whether or not the unison shall be in benefit of the communities.

This is the cruel reality which has engulfed the Indian society today. And to make matters even more deplorable and disgusting, the oxymoron “honour killing” has been coined to describe this draconian process. What I fail to understand is why was this word “honour” used? What is so honourable about killing two people who are in love and want to be happy with each other? Does this protect the honour of the people who die or their families who lose their children? These are nothing but pure, cold blooded murders and they deserve to be seen in the same light by the forces of law.

Time is the biggest manipulator of every operation. As the time changes, so does the process of working of several concepts. Keeping in consideration the current rate of development which has led to an increased rate of financial independence of the women, immense exposure to the people involved in various activities etc, the traditional stand of abstaining from same gotra marriage has no basis to ensure it sustenance. The changed scenario has given such a huge platform to work and interact to the people that ideals like caste and gotra have been left far behind. When there are so many things to learn and to do, nobody has any time to think about these irrelevant traditions. For any person, working in a multinational corporation, the question whether or not his companion is a person of the same gotra or not has no significance or importance whatsoever. Therefore, the time has changed and so have the definitions of the people. Today, concepts like, gotra, caste etc are nothing but mere impediments in the path of development of the individuals. The society today is not a mere village instead it consists of several countries.

Thus what has to be done to put a stop to such heinous acts is that, firstly, the government has to stop giving their acquiescence to the operation of such acts as it has in the form of the support given by the CM of Haryana to the khap panchayat on their decision to put a ban on same gotra marriage. Their cheap methods of politics to increase their votes are causing such irretrievable harm which has to come to an end. Also, the courts of justice have to play a more dynamic role by bringing out the grass root problems and formulating laws which eliminate these issues forever.

The Supreme court’s directive under which it has issued a notice to the centre and eight north Indian states where it has asked for details of the steps taken by the state governments to prevent these “honour killings” is a welcome change. Along with this, the active role played by the media will definitely ensure the initiation of a revolution that shall ensure that these “honourable” acts are declared to be extremely “dishonourable” followed by a severe punishment.

Recently, The Delhi High Court dismissed a public interest litigation (PIL) seeking amendment in the law to ban same ‘gotra’ (sub-caste) marriages, calling the petition “a waste of time”.

“You don’t know what gotra is? Which Hindu text prescribes banning of sagotra (same clan) marriage? Why are you wasting the time of the court?” asked the bench.

Few more judgements of this type will guarantee a future where two people will meet, fall in love and decide to be with each other forever without any apprehension or fear that they might be living their last moments together.

Our past generations have been victims of these baseless and illogical traditions. For they have been the victims therefore their children should also suffer, this rule shall not prevail. A change has to be brought and fast. Life is very short and unpredictable. So there is no time to hate or spread hatred. Let us just love, spread the love and be happy.

Do you remember the first time you saw your newborn’s face? The first time they smiled or called you? The first time they were not ready to leave your hand when you took them to the school? Your proud face when he brought home his first trophy? These memories are as fresh as if they happened yesterday. Then what happened in these few years that today you are not happy for your child when they find somebody who loves them. Isn’t that what you taught them? To love and be happy. I would like to appeal to all the parents to support their child’s happiness and accept that there are other things which make their child happy other than them. So, next time they touch your feet seeking your blessings for their “happily ever after”, say it from your heart-

“Khush raho. Jeetey raho!!”

You must be to comment.
  1. Sadhogopal Ram

    Very well thought of piece, Nitisha.

    Agree to each and every word that you wrote here.

  2. Arastu

    AWESOME article Nitisha. The beginning reminded me of the short description behind Chetan Bhagat’s ‘Two States’.

    As ridiculous as it may sound Nitisha, I have a suggestion for you, one that I myself realised recently. I am a Sociology student and being one, I recently studied Karl Marx’s theories on religion and so on. Please read them once, trust me they are UNBELIEVABLE. The understanding that man came up with so many decades ago is remarkable. Till today, we’ve all been looking at this issue and other related ones as a matter or personal choice or Societal traditions, but Marx opens our eyes to the concealed much deeper dimensions behind this.

    Religion according to him is a “tool for oppression”. One that blinds the eyes of the proletariat (masses) and prevents them from fighting the bourgeois (elite). It creates an illusion that leads one to accept one’s life as it is and stay in anticipation of a better after-life. Marx calls religion “the opium of the masses”. It is a deliberate tool used by the rich and the powerful to legitimize their doings and prevent the lower classes from coming up within Society.

    In the context of your article and the issue discussed therein, the connection with Marx’s theories is – Religion, caste, gotra etc are ways and means to divide people and keep them engaged in meaningless and harmful activities thus blinding them from the actual truths of oppression by the capitalists. Similarly, the village mukhiyas/sarpanches/khap panchayats etc dont want their children to progress, gain exposure and break the traditions of their Society since then, they wont bow down to their unchallenged supremacy any longer and therefore their reign of power will end. Therefore, it is vital for them to continue age-old barbarian practices thereby continuing their oppression of the people they control. This is a very complex political and power issue. Of course emotions are a part of it, since it relates to humans but it has a much deeper meaning.

    Just thought I should share this with you, if you dont already know it.

    BRILLIANT again, keep it up 🙂

    1. Nitisha

      @ Arastu….Thank you very much for your appreciation.Your suggestion is not at all ridiculous infact it’s very much relevant. i myself have been a sociology student for sometime and so am aware of some of karl marx’s theories. There were some interesting aspects which i wasn’t aware of, which you have definitely helped me in realising. Cast, religion, gotra..all of these concepts are indeed mere tools of manipulating people’s minds.Through their use, the main focus of the people gets shifted and they are in a way compelled to become a part of all these baneful and useless activities which leads to causation of disasters like “honour killing”.

      Looking forward to your comments on my further efforts!:)

      @sadhgopal Thank you!:)

    2. Arastu

      Sure Nitisha 🙂

      And keep it up 🙂

  3. Shivam

    Hi Nitisha
    Thanks for the article.
    Can’t we at youthkiawaao do anything better for the society in this respect.
    By title of your article I got the impression that in the article you have a plan to remove this thinking from our society.I think by advertisement in newspapers and on websites about some survey that could find a place in newspaper which supports inter caste marriages could ask Indian Government to have a law that encourages inter caste marriages.Today we all see advertisement to remove aids in TV channels and in newspapers, I think if there are also advertisement saying “inter caste marriage is a work to be praised lets put the caste system apart and make India united” and people doing inter caste marriages are awarded with some money(like in Maharashtra ) there will be certainly some positive atmosphere for inter caste marriages in India.
    This is my idea but i do not know the way to do this or even make other people to do this type of work.
    Please Nitisha and everybody at youthkiawaaz do more than just discussing it here, some of you might have friends at administrative level please discuss with them and do something to make India free from this bad traditional thinking.
    Thanks in advance

    1. YouthKiAwaaz

      Dear Shivam, Its a great idea to have ads promoting inter-caste marriages. Also, there is already a law to protect inter-caste couples. The first step towards removal of this ill will be creating awareness, which we are trying our best to do. Help us spread the word about this article and more such articles so that more and more people like yourself are motivated to do something for the society.

      Team Youth Ki Awaaz

    2. Shivam

      thanks a lot
      i just want to say that the awareness need to go to the society of India and very small fraction of India uses the internet to the extent that they become aware through internet. I just want to request you through some way make this awareness reach to the normal people who do not use internet so much.Newspaper,radio and television are the best mediums for this please try to use these as soon as possible.Then only the idea will reach to the general public of our country which is the need of the hour.Please plan to go to the hindi newspapers of India.It will be highly effective if we could advertise that inter caste marriage is a method to achieve unity in India and that there is a law of saving couples who have done the inter caste marriage.

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