Taking Stock Of The Dramatic Year: The Great Indian Tamasha [SATIRE]

Posted on February 6, 2011 in Politics

By Sakshi Abrol:

Another terrific year of Constitutional democracy and the rule of law (and money) in India would seem, on the face of it, like an occasion for taking stock and celebrating the great Indian Political Experiment (not to be confused with ‘The Great Indian Laughter Challenge’). The year 2010 was special with a deluge of scams and controversies hounding the little clueless Prime Minister of ours and kept him on his toes all throughout. So daunting was the intensity of these contentious issues that the ‘impeccable integrity’ of our P.M was also under the scanner. Not that bad though, there’s also a positive side to it Mr. Singh. You have become the first P.M in the history of India to be asked to submit an explanatory letter to the Supreme Court. Didn’t a certain party president teach you how to undermine the authority of the Judiciary? Anyhow, after people with the likes of Mr. Chidambaram and Mr. Kapil Sibal batting for our P.M., the Opposition was quick to charge Mr. Singh with allegations of inaction against Mr. A. Raja (Surely the Raja of Corruption!).

‘The constraints of a coalition government’, argued some Mr. ‘A’ (the scion of the intellectual elite), what could have our P.M. possibly done? Well true as it is, Mr. Singh cannot do anything, whether it is tackling the menace of corruption within the nation or dealing with pesky neighbours like Pakistan and the ever-aggressive China. Mr. Singh has been on the receiving end of the verbal caning ever since he has assumed office, so enough of it now. Let him be for some time.

Let’s talk about something more glamorous, sensational and easily intelligible to us, Indians- ‘Munni ki Badnaami’ and ‘Sheila ki Jawaani’. While Munni & Sheila remained at loggerheads for their badnaami and jawaani respectively, we had two badshaahs of corruption competing to see who is more efficient a bug to eat up the public money. Mr. Kalmadi and of course A.Raja. The whole country owes a debt of gratitude to Mr. Kalmadi for galvanising the entire nation to take interest in the CWG and also for making Twitter more happening. CWG will always be remembered, thanks to Mr. Suresh Kalmadi.

A special note of thanksgiving comes from Tommy, the head of the DDC (Delhi Dog’s Corporation) for providing them a comfortable and cosy shelter in the run-up to the games. Games were a huge success, no doubt; not even a single bridge collapsed during the games. Then comes the erudite Mr. Raja who needs to be saluted for giving a new mantra to retain a cabinet portfolio: go ahead and be rude to the P.M, keep smiling even when the country is out to skin you alive, do not bother about the Supreme Court and Delve (into corruption to make) Money (for) Karunanidhi [DMK]. When talking about these stars of 2010, how can one forget our loyal Army? The Army should be thanked for inspiring young minds aspiring to join the IAS to think about joining the Army for a juicy lucrative career.

Now we focus our attention towards some who couldn’t fare so well in 2010. Ms. Arundhati Roy, whatever she does, she’s always on the losing side. But the wee days of December must have brought her a sigh of relief with her contemporary Mr. Binayak Sen being accused of sedition and passing provocative letters, whatever that is supposed to mean. 2010 was also the year of leaks. There were more leaks in the media than have in our water pipelines. The leak of the Radia tapes was a feather on the cap making the atmosphere even more electric. And so when we talk of histrionics, how can one forget Mr. Shashi Tharoor. A sincere (anonymous) advice for you Mr. Tharoor, ‘A good politician is one who appears to be dumber than he actually is’. Hope it helps you in 2011.

And for us, the common denizens of this strange country, keep dreaming and hoping.

Image courtesy.