Model United Nations – LOLing Moments!

Posted on February 16, 2011 in Specials

By Akanksha Mittal:

Lights, Camera, Action! Put on your formals, yes those high heels and those professional ties! They should suit you with that plastic smile and the “Oh my God, I am so concerned!” attitude that you shall wear on the scenes for the next three days! You shall walk with those files tagged with those green slips (pink for ladies, please!) and hope against hope that you have a file boasting of more pages than all the other delegates! Oh you have a laptop? Great! Now, you will not even have to miss your favorite episodes of Modern Family while the entire world is “discussing” world peace in the “Conference”! Thirsty for some cheap publicity? What are the communication “chits” for? Works well for you if your chits pass through the ladies! Almost like a double treat!

Kudos to all the Delegates and the Executive Board Members for the immensely fruitful discussions that they have had, in the innumerable MUNs that they have attended. Kudos to The International Press Members who have diligently scribbled each and every note and successfully held “Press Conferences”. However, ladies and gentlemen, I wish to ask (because I am stupid, and I don’t know), did you really know what you spoke? Did you really hear what the others said? Or, was it all just “Debateopedia” and the much loved “Wikipedia”? It is weird how all you need to make a point is to have a loud voice and an intimidating persona. That should be just enough to scare the hell out of the other poor sissies, hoping to change the world!

Now, how can I forget to congratulate the organisers behind the grand event! They got the accommodation, registration passes, food, sponsors, participants and the much needed moolah! However, dear organizers, I think you forgot to decide the right combination of countries to be invited for a particular agenda to be discussed in a particular committee! Oh, or are the “extra” countries only there to recognize talent and provide exposure to the new bees? Yes, of course! But, we can’t blame our progressive thought process for putting seasoned faffers in the same committee as the sissy wannabe change makers! It’s all very convenient. They (faffers) do it for the money and what’s more, they get it! I can only imagine the adrenaline rush it would give them to win whopping amounts of money in a committee where they are perhaps the only one who speak!

Yes, now that I have calmed down on this phase called “going black”, let me try and make some sense! MUN is a grand concept and we have, like all the other things in the world, adapted it beautifully from the West! It is a great idea for providing an exposure to the World events. I have no qualms with MUN in its essence. However, I fail to accept the behind-the-scene negotiations that go between seasoned “delegates” and “Executive Board Members”. It is almost like a parallel conference where the topic of discussion between the delegates and the Executive Board members is who should be given the prize money this time. I have a problem with the whole false pretence of being “Oh, my god, so concerned”!

Seriously, wasn’t the hypocrisy in our political system enough that we came up with another addition! Oh yes, but what do we do? Nothing! Do we need to do anything? Noway! All that we do is sit In front of our laptops and “go blank” on the screen!

P.S. This piece is just an attempt at venting out and I hope it will not stir the MUNer sentiments of wanting to “discuss” it further. Thank you.