By Radhika Ghose:
“I have no one to talk to, as they don’t have the time or inclination to answer my calls. I have overcome along continuous struggle in my life with only my family to share it with. I no longer have any intention of getting out there and making new friends, it’s just not something people my age do!”
If that or anything which sounds remotely like that is a problem you’re experiencing, then there are “stepping stones” you need to follow. Now as you may know the trick to “stepping stones” if you’ve encountered them in real life, is that not everyone gets across by using the same ones. Everyone sense of balance and shoe size and grip is different. Not to mention weight!
So while I may sound contradictory, by saying that I’m giving you some steps to follow and telling you to follow your own path simultaneously, the message is quite simple. Imagine I am ahead of you on the stones, and have made it to my destination. Or better yet to the other side, not necessarily the final destination; I am giving you a few pointers which have worked for me, you are free to use them or ignore them, as you see fit.
Situation: it is likely you are faced with a situation you don’t really want to share with anyone. Perhaps you are embarrassed your friends might find it petty or immature. Or perhaps in your own mind there is a doubt about the seriousness of the issue.
Do Not Ignore It.
A situation which you find unsettling is a real situation as it is troubling you.
- If it is a fear try addressing it — perhaps by leaving alone whatever it was that triggered of this fear, perhaps read about it if you have the resources and time to.
- If you feel alone but can’t reach anyone, there are several things you can do depending on what you like.
- Write to yourself and just let yourself pour out, till you feel unburdened.
- Sing/Listen to Music/Put on some music and Dance/Play an instrument if you do
- Take a walk by yourself, or just step outdoors and let the “atmosphere” in.
- Watch a movie you haven’t had the chance to see
OR
- Watch a favourite Movie where you are so connected with the film and the characters that you are anything but alone
- Even immersing yourself in a new book or an old favourite one.
This may seem quite short, but the fact is a lot of the options I mentioned above, help in a lot of situations. Sometimes we just may not be in a great frame of mind and you just can’t explain it. If you take some time off for yourself, doing something you love on your own is a great remedy.
The main piece, I wanted to share, was we often think we need someone else to cheer us up. And that is indeed one of the very functions of “friendship”. But if there is a possibility that a friend may not be around, we need to understand how to cheer our own selves up. The first question a friend will ask is “what’s wrong?” and you may not always have an answer.
So sometimes, though it may take a bit of time initially, I think because we know our selves best — it is really us ourselves who come up with the best remedy to cheer ourselves up!