But Yeddyurappa is a Shy Man: The Paradox And Eyewash [SATIRE]

Posted on February 6, 2011 in Politics

By Deepa Ranganathan:

[NOTE: The article is only a satirical piece. The writer does not aim at hurting any feelings.]

Bookanakere Siddalingappa Yeddyurappa. Can you even pronounce that? And yet the man with the tongue-twister name has been hogging the limelight for months on end now. To be fair, BSY isn’t faithful; BSY is a shy man.

Let us humbly acknowledge his endless love for his sons and daughters and sons-in-law. Who else will put his chair under scrutiny at the cost of acquiring vast lands for his near and dear ones? Apparently his chair is equally dear to him. So BSY re-wrote the history of Karnataka politics and accepted the post of the most corrupt Chief Minister the state has ever seen. Of course, BSY wouldn’t say that directly. He’s a very shy man. But, what do you think he means when he says: “I’m innocent”. Well, of course he’s innocent. How innocently he de-notified those lands that were a property of the government. All in the name of his loved ones. Oh, what selflessness!

BSY seems to like the company of like-minded people. This is clear from the fact that he is not alone in his corrupt endeavors. All his bought party workers have sworn for their lives that they’ll support him. Of course, in the process, they also earn a little bit of money from here and there. However, what is that in contrast to the pool of money BSY is drowning in? But BSY is a shy man. He’s a man of integrity. He’ll sink in his pool of cash but won’t let anybody else enter it. Oh, what concern!

As long as he stuffs his workers’ a.k.a. servants’ pockets with currency, why should he worry? Worrying is not even good for a man of his age, which is not decreasing with the passage of time. But he must remember to add an extra few crores in those pockets. For what, you ask? Oh c’mon! Do you really believe organizing a strike in a state as large as Karnataka is a joke? It requires 3P’s: paisa, patience and planning. And it requires the guts to cause a loss of almost Rs. 2000 crores to an entire state. But, BSY is a shy man. He’s too reserved to acknowledge the same. Oh, what modesty!

If one wishes to visit the circus out of nostalgic curiosity or childhood compulsion, one need not travel all the way to Mumbai. Or even Rampur, for that matter. You get to watch the “Live” version of the hullaballoo on almost all news channels. BSY manages to hold the eyes of the public and continues to be the media’s best bet when it comes to “news”. What would the Press do, if it were not for him? But BSY is a shy man. He’ll shout his lungs out in the Assembly, watch his party members tear each others’ shirts like hooligans let loose out of an asylum, and yet maintain a nonchalant distance from the action. Oh, what humility!

Shakespeare’s Brutus was an honorable man. Who cares? It’s the new age of coyness. And no one can beat BSY on that! The poor guy fears witchcraft from the Opposition. Clearly, the Opposition has no heart for an altruistic man. Tsk tsk!