By Rijuta Gupta:
Love demands. It demands improvement, it demands enhancement of positive traits and it calls for goodness, and all this demands lots of efforts. This holds true for all things, be it small or vast, alive or a notion. When I can easily divert my attention to someone or something that isn’t as demanding, it’s too natural to drift towards that. After all there is promise of eternal bliss after much toil and pain on one hand and instant gratifications with efforts that doesn’t seem like efforts. So choice is too apparent.
Still there are times when I fall in love with myself and during that period I have to take care of my well-being, be it emotional, spiritual or mental. My psyche and physique have to be worked upon towards perfection. I have to try to be a good human being. I am peaceful in that state and fall deeper in love with myself. Everything appears blissful. But one day this harmony gets diluted. That is when I need discipline, perseverance and will-power to restore it. But it’s hard to come. I get restless, more so when I acknowledge yet don’t do anything towards it. To escape this anxiety I choose not to acknowledge the chaos, instead I find excuse for it. With so much chaos in and around it’s absurd to fight against it.
It’s so much easier to sit around and get into discussions on various issues that prop up now and then rather than finding out where the problem lies. Loving this world will change “This World” to “My World” and this belongingness brings responsibilities that scare me away. When discussions give pleasure, especially in sarcasm, what’s the point in pondering over solution-hunting? Still I can suggest endless ways to mend things and some of them are really big and brilliant ideas. But those little steps towards betterment demand constant vigil on my actions. Every time I step out, I have to put lights off. I can’t leave taps running. I have to take food in right measures so that it doesn’t end in trash bin. I have to work towards clean and hygienic surroundings. I have to stand against those who have corrupting effects on our society and our resources. I have to use our resources with care. And all that means I have to work towards optimization and better efficiency. Temptation to ignore the fact that “collective impact of little steps taken by individuals is much bigger than giant treads that are often talked about and seldom taken” lies in its convenience. Big steps generally costs exorbitant with higher risk of failure while small ones mostly cut your expenses and are very much in your reach, but who can deny momentary convenience almost always outweighs long-lasting one.
But I wish to be loved though choose not to love. I wish this world to be a better place but refusing to work by excusing myself with imaginary condition of “had it been like this”.
If I accept “what it is” rather than being in illusionary world, I’ll belong to this world — my world, where I’ll work for its betterment.