And All They Want Is Money: 2G And Beyond

Posted on May 22, 2011 in Specials

By Jeyashree Krishnan:

“India is not poor, Indians are” – Anonymous

It was a beautiful night, the sky enveloping the country in a beautiful sheen black, the stars embedded on it acting as tiny torches and adding to the ensemble were the lights in the city- Night life is an integral part of Swiss and I liked it. Still, I knew this was the best time to act- I was sure I will be nervous and numb but I never felt any of these now that I was doing what I had dreamt and worked for all along. Maybe I had learnt to become patient and composed, or these subtle beauties somehow enrapture me, I do not know. I asked the cabbie to drop me at Solwisen, as I had planned- I would not leave an ounce of doubt to anyone. I dragged my rucksack out, paid him 20 Swiss francs and started walking, listening to Randy Thompson’s on a shop stereo. Welsikonenstrasse was busy; it always is a busy place- reminded me of Time Square. I knew they had changed the security vaults- I can always see them, they can’t. I know what authorities at FINMA know, maybe more than that- as a crook you learn more and I am one.

I easily passed their security detectors, the guards never stayed still at this entrance. The cameras did the work, mine. The password to their account is something they shared- involuntarily though- but I know how to tap secrets. I opened the vault of my life- my dream- and there it was… the wealth I had yearned and waited for. I walked towards it.

“Urghhh!” I yelled as I saw my mum about to throw another bucket of water at my face. Where the hell am I? Where is my money, I wanted to ask. As though my mum heard it, she threw water straight at my face, as though that is all am worth for. I stood up.

Wow, that was a nice one! I wonder where I got that inspiration- to rob Swiss bank. Maybe I imagined myself to be Dhoom’s Aishwarya Rai (well, my dream outfits suggested that!).

Well, maybe the millions of Indian rupees existing as francs in the “Almighty” Swiss Banks evoked the dream?

When I first heard about the 2G spectrum scam (1.76 lac crores), I was wondering why the politicians were fighting for just 2 grand (2G, u see)? If I do, with my ever scanty pocket money, then that made sense, but why would all the “men-in-white”? And then I understood, the politicians are the best economists of the world- they can make money even from my ragged old jeans!

2G refers to the second generation wireless telephone technology. Its now updated with many Gs- guess 2.5, 2.75, 3, 3.5…6, 7, 8… etc, I guess all real numbers till infinity (refer wiki). But who cares if it is replaced or not!? Is the best attitude- Our Politician’s attitude! They can plunder from any G and get Gs you know!

I had always suffered to be a class leader. Like people will act for themselves in their own notions and ideas and thoughts and attitudes, they called me a show-off if I tried to enforce some rule on them. It was very hard to manage that small bunch, huh!

But I wonder how knocked politicians are- how carefully planned plundering had happened, has been happening, is happening, will happen here- yeah, add all the tenses because Corruption in our country is like the Airtel network- follows you everywhere.

2G band of people include Raja, the Cabinet Minister stealing the top place, followed by Kanimozhi Karunanidhi having lost the first place by a few runs- maybe a few million rupees, followed by the all-loved Civil Servants Behura, P.J.Thomas, Baijal and Chandolia. I am calling these people as though they were my friends, but that has become the status of the issue today. Walking down the street, you may not even happen to hear IPL feed or ARR’s top hits- but surely this- it has affected everyone. I can never watch AXN because of this- NDTV is always running, hailing 2G!

I guess they have strategic locations to flood these amounts! Like for example, my friend says Tirupati is like a South Indian Swiss Bank- now I wish I had been a priest there!

If you add a zero to my monthly savings you get an average salary of a BPO guy. Add another zero you get the per month salary of a MD of an average company. Add another zero you get any CEO’s salary. Add another zero and you will see Tendulkar and Bachchan staring at you! Add another zero and you will stare at the number. Keep adding zeros and that will be what a politician earns!

(Note: I asked you to add zero to the right, if you keep “adding” zeroes to the left unfortunately you will only be with me not with Mr.A.Raja)

And the Lord of DMK claims to EC that his assets are worth 30 lacs; it is a bit less than 800 crores, isn’t it?! Good thing that he gives 500 bucks if you cast a vote in favour of him, I can at least get a haircut done! Such is the plight of my earning and their earning today! I find only two disadvantages in being a politician- people like me brag about them, and I should be back again in uniform everyday! Remember the Men-in-White!!

They say they are doing things, but they utilise more than they give- I know that for sure- because the construction duration of a bridge near my place equals my age now. They utilise time- more so, the money in that time.

If you want money, be a politician- is what they say today! And why so- we never open our mouth against such atrocities, we fear all the time and we believe things easily. We encourage such people; we turn the minority into majority and suffer the self-invited problem!

This is a tough world pals, dog-eat-dog and I for one, am not going to be left behind- is the best quote to summarize our existence today! We formulate rules- we break them! We know we do wrong- we do it with more passion! Why so? We have made a mode of existence- as our life!

And we know deep down, that money is nothing- it can buy a Lamborghini, seaside mansions and pasta but it can’t buy a lot of other things! No one has to teach us that, right? There is just 100 years, make the best of it- and I am not talking about money here!