It does happen sometimes, that the love that is sought gets dissolved in the eddies of greed, jealousy, ego or simply inhumanity. This is for the ‘unloved’ , for the ones who deserved it all!
ByÂ Smriti Mahale:
When I was in your womb, I knew I was safe. Though it was dark and dull inside, I knew that one day two loving arms will hold me to light. I knew that two sparkling eyes would feast on my little body. I knew the dark place I am in now would soon transform into a world of sheer beauty. I knew a family would drown me in the sea of love and I would float in heavens. I knew daddy would throw me up in the air and I would glade like a phoenix feather, I would be an angel! But, mummy I was wrong. I didn’t know your love was for your prince and not your princess. The day you discovered it, two tattered arms threw me in dust. I cried, I was unheard. I thrust for my love but all I got was poisonous glances from the world. I was left alone, in the same world that I thought was of sheer joy. I am floating towards the heaven now, UNLOVED!
I remember the day you disowned me. I was eighteen, your son, your blood. I thought it was love that made me your pride, but then, I discovered your pride was in a distinction shouting from my college degree. Dad, I tried. I worked hard. I sacrificed my little joys of life. But I could not. It was not my take. I thought I would see the same pride in your eyes when I won the under 18 World cup. You would hug me and tell the world I was your ‘son’, your blood! But you had other plans. You threw me out of our home. You hit mummy when she pleaded. You made me beg in the streets for food, sleep under shackled roofs. I wore tattered clothes for days, the under 18 World Cup Captain of the year smelt like filth. You never even tried to search for me.
Today dad, I am our country’s captain, won glories that are your and my soil’s pride, millions love me not only for what I am, but also for what I am not. I am still your son, UNLOVED!
I left my home for your home to be complete. I adorned myself with a sacred bond that is supposed to make us both complete. I offered my life for your dreams, your family, your clan. For your parents, I was a daughter-in-law who bowed with respect but was made to bow like in shame. For you I was a doll of clay that you played with when you liked and threw in some corner when you had had enough. I never complained when you came home smelling like the drains, over filling yourselves with cheap bottles of beer. I sustained the smacks, the pain, the fear, the violence, the shame. I waited for the grace of love, for the blessing. None came. Today, I leave as a woman whose chaste is more dear to her than the life of a wife UNLOVED!
Dear Mr. X,
I thought love happened only in fairy tales, till the day you came into my life. It was a bundle of everything I felt for you-love, care, respect, friendship and all the beautiful emotions of the world. People called me mad, ridiculed the change in me but I was the happiest. What I felt, was only what I knew. With you, my fears lost their existence, hope grew. I felt more secure, like a bird flying away from its cage into the vast skies. I opened my heart that were burdened with so many secrets. I thought you would understand. You gave no respect for my feelings, for the love I showed. I cried into the nights, my tears noticed by you. You laughed at them like you would for a clown in the circus. Maybe I was not one of those pretty girls you knew, maybe my life was cushioned with principles you did not like, or you thought I was ugly enough to stand beside you. Once, did you even peek inside my heart that was beautiful enough. For once, did you not feel that a little bit of love would heal. You mocked, you sowed the seedling of hatred in me. While I weep, the plant grows from the heart of an UNLOVED!
I just told you you were treading on the wrong path of life. I warned you for the dangers that would ruin your career. You felt I was interfering. You thought I was a person who was too serious with my career and success. You left me alone in all celebrations, you used me when needed. You poisoned other’s mind that I was no fun. And when you fell in your own grave you dug for yourselves, you were too ashamed to climb up and ask for help. Your ego was too big in comparison of our months of friendship. I made mistakes too and I accepted them. But you didn’t. I am all alone today, cause you stole the rest of my friends from me. You gave me sorrow, while I still find an opportunity to make your life brighter. From a friend who has forgiven, who is still UNLOVED!
The author also blogs at kaleidoscopemirages.blogspot.com.