Maa, Mati, Manush and Marriage: An Open Letter From a Didi Admirer (satire)

By Neelima Ravindran:

Dear fellow Indians,

I am extremely pained by the criticism and slander of my leader and my party by the nation over the last few days. I would like to point out to the sceptics, cynics and critics that there are two sides to a coin and the scandalous stories floating out of Didiland are the conspiracy attempts of our rivals to malign the name of our faction and its head.

There is no greater punishment than being married to a communist. The walls have to be painted red along with red curtains and red sheets, the puja room converted to storage for used flags, finding a school for the kids that teaches Chinese as a first language- the ordeals are endless. Our compassionate leader has humbly suggested a way to rescue her supporters from these trials and tribulations. Her benevolence should be lauded, her empathy commended.

As an obliged head of a responsible government, it is her commitment to usher in a new dawn to her land, create employment opportunities and attract investments to Didiland. It is with this foresight that she is creating abundant opportunities in the ever booming marriage industry for the national and international players to step into the state by reducing the number of frugal and bare communist marriages. The years of Left rule have left the economy in shambles and her efforts to put the finances of the state back on track should be acknowledged and appreciated.

The rumours are abuzz that there are more sweeping reforms in the pipeline in Didiland – no free left turns (London doesn’t have any and it was a promise to turn our city into London), no left-handed writers or batsmen (to those who lament that Gambhir might well be on his way back to Delhi, I would like to remind that Dada might be on his way in), no red lights. In fact, the traditional Bengali sari might have the red border replaced by green. If you thought this is because she, like a wild bull, is raging at anything red, think again. Our chief is just doing her bit to endorse eco-friendliness and environment consciousness in the state.

The party is also not just all work and no play. In fact, we have announced a cartoon drawing competition for the professors of various universities across the state, the first prize being a night in jail. This would be an educating and enriching experience for the learned men and women to enhance their know-how of the state-run facilities.

Didi has delivered on her promise of ‘Paribarthan’ through her toil and zeal and what a ‘Paribarthan’ our state has accomplished over the last 11 months. Indeed, whispers in corridors of power in Delhi are that the senior members of the ruling party are racking their brains to find a way for their junior scion to take credit for all of Didi’s feats. As for us, her ardent supporters, we can only exclaim in awe and adoration…Hail Didiland! Hail Paribarthan!

Yours faithfully,
A Didi admirer.