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How Would It Be Like To Be In The Shoes Of A. Raja?

By Waled Aadnan:

Would I like to be in A Raja’s shoes right now? Why not? After all, he has only recently been released on bail from Tihar Jail. The Special CBI Judge didn’t seem to think he could tamper with evidence in the 2G scam. Let alone that, there were more DMK supporters outside Tihar to welcome him back into the daylight than freedom fighters would have seen back in those halcyon days. But well, that is assuming he was cooped up in a dark solitary confinement cell all these months.

And the party didn’t end there. The very next day, Raja was seen attending Lok Sabha. The secret agenda of his visit to Parliament was to meet all the anxious politicians caught up in some corruption case or the other and anticipating a visit to Tihar soon. Raja sat down with them over a cup of tea and explained to eager ears what facilities await the “high security prisoners”. Details regarding the same could not be published since Shri Kapil Sibal deemed it would certainly be a cybercrime. Well once the chai pani was over, it was time to grease some palms. Well, what did you think? It was a free tête-à-tête? Well there ain’t no free meals in the land of the Rajas.

Once out of Parliament, Mr. Raja was found contemplating on all the Indian leaders who have cut their teeth in politics after serving terms in prison. Seeking someone to patiently listen to him, he decided to call up Ms. Barkha Dutt. For more on that, check the next set of Wikileaks. Our sources weren’t able to tap into that conversation but Mr. Raja could be seen to be visibly distressed by all the listening he had to do on account of Ms. Dutt’s outbursts on which corporate “leader” he should be meeting first up out of jail.

So he decided to take a detour to one of those Bollywood style farmhouses which always seem to be in the middle of nowhere. Awaiting him there were infuriated telecom bosses. Also there were some very senior Cabinet ministers. While the Home and Finance Ministers could still be seen squabbling with each other, the din reached a crescendo when the former Telecom Minister walked in and then subsided to silence once he waved his hand to them. “The arrangement has been made”, he said, “The final payments will be wired into the Caribbean accounts soon. Why people still think we store our money in Swiss banks is a mystery, considering Wikileaks is right in on it anyway!

There were arrangements to be made to refurbish that VIP prison cell in case a quick return were to be made, what with the CBI on his tails already. The DMK leadership was calling him already asking if a move back into the Telecom Ministry was to be facilitated. Symbolically, an aide handed him a 3G phone.

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