Sky Out: Conspiracies Behind the AI Strike (A Satire)

By Neelima Ravindran:

Air India, the national air carrier of India, has cancelled many of its flights following its pilots calling in “sick” demanding that the erstwhile Indian Airlines pilots (who have not yet fallen “sick”) not be trained in flying Boeing dream liners, the fleet scheduled to be delivered to AI next month. The strikes of the pilots have crippled the nation’s air travel and brought acute discomfort to the common passenger. But reports suggest that there is more to this issue than meets the eye.

The presence of a foreign and mysterious virus in air which affects only the pilots of the AI should be immediately investigated. The health ministry and the aviation ministry should form a sub department called the Ministry of Aviation Health for looking into the vast number of pilots falling sick regularly. The government’s lack of enthusiasm in checking this contagion and investigating if there is an enemy hand behind the outbreak should be condemned. While Digvijay Singh has squarely blamed RSS for the viral attack, the BJP has contributed this to the spreading of the infection via the flights to and from Italy.

Air India is currently looking into the option of using the Kingfisher pilots to fly their Airbus A-320 planes. These pilots with neither work nor pay are more than eager to be of service to the air travellers. It is rumoured that the flamboyant owner of Kingfisher is the brains behind AI pilots falling sick, not just to pay his staff, who are also about to go on a strike for their salaries, but a sweet revenge for using the bailout package that was denied to him for the benefit of his employees. What an idea, Sirji!

There are also whispers that Lalu Prasad Yadav has a hand in the current strike. Once the situation becomes hopeless and the industry goes bankrupt, he believes the government will try to resolve the issue by asking him to be the aviation minister. Under trial for the fodder scam cases, this is perhaps his last desperate attempt to leverage with the government. Some evidences also point to the West Bengal CM Mamata Banerjee, for she wants to show the country that she is not the only one who is suffering from ‘anti’ syndrome, a psychological disorder which makes one protest against anything and everything. The left parties are also being looked suspiciously by some for the current exigency. Since they have no work in the country as of now, they have used the free time to ferment troubles in many areas as possible and propel various unions into action and hold the nation to ransom.

It is imperative to save and sustain one of our ancient and antique heritages. Therefore the government and aviation minister should open their eyes to the evil hands behind the crisis and form an empowered committee to look into the conspiracies behind the strike. The earlier we find the people responsible, the sooner we can solve the impasse which has left the plane travellers of the country in distress.