“Veganism and a better sexual life”; PETA”s Newest Tie Up With Kingfisher Airlines?

Posted on May 12, 2012 in Specials

By Anannya Roy Chowdhury:

It’s finger lickin’ good! How familiar are we with this phrase, is a question that only the lamest man would ask today and only an overtly silly man would say, “Well, what’s that?” CHICKEN… doesn’t it sound yum? Probably out of the 100 reading this, 75 would say it certainly does! Hello! Just a minute, rethink… PETA might just force you change the thought! In a strategic business tie up (likely to happen), Kingfisher airlines might just go GREEN (more on that, as we go on).

Now is it not surprising, because although I just mentioned a simple name, what registered our minds is the delicious range of fare related to it, totally by faring the possibility of it being a beautiful Bird! (For, Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, I say and hens thus, are pretty indeed!)

PETA is an organization we know for its great initiative in what they say, animal rights and also for the dauntless celebs who go nude as a part of the campaign, (what! There is nothing illegitimate in that, all of us do think about it, don’t we?). In its mission to make the world understand that being Vegan is being cool, PETA, India wrote a letter to the Kingfisher kingpin, Dr. Vijay Mallya proposing to turn the dwindling airliners into their latest, air-borne advertisement hoarding!

Just the previous week, it hit the national media that in an effort to save the company from its financial quicksand, PETA, (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) put forward a win-win situation for Kingfisher airlines. It is certainly no alien talk that with over 1.3 billion dollars at stake, the once plush and splendid airliners is routed on a road to fiasco.

In the past few months, the story of this starry and highly popular airline services has come up in a rather shocking manner. Of all the enterprises that the Barrel king owns, it proved to be the shakiest. However, since it the absolute law of the nature that someone’s misfortune becomes a paragon of an opportunity for the fitter one, PETA saw in this debacle a way to spread its message.

Kingfisher airlines FLY GOOD TIMES… Well not really. After this strategic tie up between the two antagonists (if you disagree, a look into the sumptuous menu served on board might just cleanse any confusion), the new tag line would read, “WANT GOOD TIMES? GO VEGAN”

I am sure not much of this is making sense because frankly, what good can veggies alone bring? Trust me, if you are feeling likewise, you are not alone in the race, there are indeed millions like you who think on similar grounds. However, studies in the field of human sexuality have revealed facts that would make all men run for more Broccolis! (And there is no pun intended here).

Eating your delicious meat grubs can cause you a lot of humiliation a little while later. No, I am certainly not referring to the bad mouth or the bits of it clinging in between your teeth (although that might just be taken into consideration), what is speculated is far more gore. An excessive intake of meat items can not only cause cholesterol related problems but also make you bad in bed! WHAT? Did we just read that? Well, whether or not you believe, it is true. Impotence and other erectile dysfunction in men can be ascertained to this gargantuan intake of meat!

Getting on with a little of biostatistics, it is surveyed that India is the world leader in impotency! To be frank, the moment I got to know this, I ran for my reading glasses for I was sure I read something wrong! Seeing the huge population that we brood today, problems of ‘keeping it upright’ seem to be the last thing on our minds! Yet again, my country never fails to surprise me. More than 50% of the Indian men above the average age of 40 struggles to lift off (I wonder how India is still so populous…?)

Now this is surely one cause that would make sense to all the 4 billion testosterone charged men who wish almost nothing to spoil their sexual drive and ability. However, there are already staggering number of sufferers from whom, it is much more than a simple inaction. Relationships spill just because blood refuses to flow in certain part of their bodies. For all such people and more for those who wish to be superheroes in their private moments, Veganism is the thing to be. Turning vegetarian will certainly curb the issue and also in most cases, revert it back to normalcy!

With high possibilities of Kingfisher airlines saying, ‘Want Good Times? Go Vegan. Meat Consumption Leads to Impotence’ PETA, and with it all the trillions of animals will keep their hopes alive that more men (I mean both, the sex and the race in general) would give more consideration to our wordless co-dwellers on this planet.