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Grooms for Sale : Why Is A Boy’s “Good” Education Equivalent To “Handsome” Dowry?

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By Nitisha Pandey:

The wedding season is soon to come and the mega sale has begun. Yes, ‘Grooms for Sale’ is the latest market trend. Stunned? I know, not so much, because we have become too used to it. We see it in our own families, societies and even among our own friends but do nothing about it; not because we can’t but because we don’t want to.

Today, we claim to be in an era of technology and development, but is our mind developing? We have outgrown our living standards by evolving with the way of life — smart phones, laptops, and moving with the latest trends, but have we changed our standard of thinking? What is the use of all that knowledge when we don’t know the difference between right and wrong? However tall be our claims — that we have elevated ourselves to greater heights than before on the social front; the truth is that these towering heights are confined to the debating halls, works of pen-paper and the social networking forums.

Our generation has more educated individuals. But when a guy tells his parents that he doesn’t want dowry, they chide him, saying that ‘Itna padhaya likhayaa kyun?’ These words are a joke in themselves. Does a boy’s parents’ give him good education only to get a handsome dowry? The current market rate for grooms is as follows:

Central Government officials: 1 crore – 10 crore
Doctors: 50 lakhs — 5 crore
IITians: 25 lakhs — 1 crore
Normal engineers: 5 lakhs — 25 lakhs

Isn’t this really ridiculous? I don’t know whether to laugh at such an India or feel pity for it. A girl’s parents also give her a similar education, a great life with all the benefits — so why does she have to pay a groom and for what? A man with no self respect, no dignity and no courage?

Dowry deaths, burning brides and suicides are still frequent in many parts of the country. Every 20 minutes a woman is murdered because of dowry. More than 2500 dowry deaths are reported every year. In spite of all the laws, all the acts in place, why hasn’t there been any concrete result? It has been proved that everything in this world has a price. Men put a price tag on their dignity when they accept their parents’ arguments for dowry, the guy’s parents sell their self respect when they demand dowry, the girl puts her independence and freedom for sale when she accepts to give dowry and the girl’s parents put a price tag on their daughter’s life when they throw their daughter into a life of misery and misfortune.

We live in a contemporary society where the fear of being an outcast is most dreaded. Parents and grooms feel that the more dowry they demand, the higher their status and if they don’t, their respect in the society will decline. But isn’t it a matter of shame for them to rely on the bride’s riches? What if one day she claims everything’s that hers and goes away? The situation is hypothetical but very practical in today’s world. There can never be a happy home where partners don’t value each other’s views and lives. Spending an entire life with a guy who is uneducated and illiterate with a degree only for namesake isn’t justified. And the modern bride is fully aware of this. If forced to act, there will be more number of unmarried guys than girls.

It is high time for the Youth to awaken themselves from the long and deep social hibernation and come to the forefront. It’s time for men to buckle up and for once, act resolutely with fortitude and do what they think is right. Only when guys step up, have a forward thinking, open up to their parents’ and try to make them understand, can this problem really get a solution. Those guys will be the real ‘Men’. It’s time for girls to stand up for themselves and face the orthodox society so that her entire life is not just a transaction. Thus, it is imperative for the youth to be involved and break the shackles of this pre-ordained and conformist society. Only then can we hope to see a shining India.

You must be to comment.
  1. satya

    agree with you but it is for the masses to agree

  2. Traveller

    Bravo! Great write up… 🙂

  3. Saumya Sahni

    We also have a concept of “latent dowries” in India where apparently the groom’s side are not asking for it openly but the bride’s parents are arranging lavish gifts for the bride which they intend to send with her to her in-laws with expensive gifts claiming this is “our love” for our daughter. This might also put the breadwinner of the bride’s family into debt. The groom’s family should be felt ashamed instead of feeling proud for accepting and asking for dowry according to aforementioned “rates”. Also, dowry gifts are different across different castes.Some get properties, some receive cars. Now whom should be blame for this? Grooms or Brides?

  4. Kavya Vidyarthi

    I came across this article in the recommended section and I could only hate myself for not reading it for such a long time. It is so truly said- The underlying truth of the nation called India- where goddesses are worshipped but Girls in their marriage are commodified for being offered with huge dowries.

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