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“Hey! I Don”t Look Good Can You Delete That Picture From FB Please?”: The Story Of Outer Appearances

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By Mahitha Kasireddi:

I know the line in the title looks familiar. All of us appreciate beauty. Everybody wants to look beautiful and we worship all the traits such as a fair complexion, thick long hair, great looking eyebrows, shiny eye lashes, pink glossy lips and a pimple-less, clear face.

Nobody looks as pretty as their Facebook profile picture or as ugly as their college id photo. Using Photoshop, editing the colour and other features in a photograph give us a temporary satisfying confidence throughout.

How many of us would confess the following?
Each time you walk into a party all dressed like a diva you blush over the wide open eyes that stare at you and as you are advancing towards them you celebrate inside your heart for all the compliments you receive for your hair, dress and a small tattoo on your neck. The most important thing that needs a special mentioning is your cautiousness around cameras. You have a ready expression or a pose for any random camera that captures you.

The minute you are back from the party you show great enthusiasm in picking the best of all the photos, do some quick edits and upload them on Facebook. You enjoy the likes and comments that flow in at least for five days where most of them are flattery. The immediate development that occurs is the list of new friend requests and pokes.

This is one saddening fact, that people, judge others first by their appearance ,which is why many guys or girls fall in love at the first sight. Well, it is the sight that is falling in love and not the heart. How absurd it is to tag a dark person as bad? Only deadly ghosts who look ugly and scary are bad, and well, this image was promoted right from the old fairy tales. Wish there were beautiful devils in every story.

The most asked question which has an incomplete or absolutely no answer is whether beauty is a necessary element that contributes to building up of confidence? Beauty is not just the face which counts but also the physical appearances like height and size. People who are obese often go through lower confidence level and enter into a depressive state which drives them into eating more than before. I have come across people in my personal life who have an excellent view point towards life unlike others but fail to open up due to their oversize personality.

Who is to be blamed? No matter how much you are driven by your own attitude and positive spirits, there will always someone around who never forgets to mention your weight While some very high spirited people would laugh it off and are seen to be very comfortable with whatever their figure may be, many develop an inferiority complex due their short height and overweight body. They are not comfortable mingling in parties. The most embarrassing situation arises when they attend interviews. It is unfortunately a frequent phenomenon that good looking candidates bag the job. It sounds most demoralizing and sad.

Obese people face biggest hurdles, insults and dejections at the time of searching for a life a partner, especially girls. Whatever may be the reason for their obesity, they starts a new schedule of workouts, diet controls etc. My father asked whether a guy who marries a slim girl would abandon her if she grew fat after wedding.

I think this mindset was marketed through the film industry right from its inception all through the years. Bollywood cannot imagine a commercial movie with its lead role looking fat and dark. May be beauty started having definitions and standards from there. It is human tendency to imitate things we appreciate, be it makeup, hairstyle, an outfit or anything. Unfortunately we have forgotten to discover ourselves; to allow us to be just “ourselves”.

Each time I try to console my obese associates they only come out with new plans of makeover. In the four years of my college, I have observed my fellow students hailing from remote places, changing their attire totally, once accommodated in a mixed culture society. The thick long plat is replaced by a fluffy wavy pony tail; the eyebrows are neatly shaped and awesome as though complimenting the already good looking eyes. There is no disadvantage in this. In fact it gives them new confidence to face their counterparts who are prettier.

How I wish they welcome a sunrise with a realization that personality emerges from a spark that comes from inside but not through the efforts of artificial touch ups.

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  1. ipsa arora

    So true, I long for a day when the first impression of a person comes after judging his/her nature and not looks.

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        An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

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        Find out more about her campaign here.

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        A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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