The Other Side Of The Coin

Posted on August 21, 2012 in Specials

By Geetika Aggarwal:

It has been 15 days and I have had an overdose of the Kristen Stewart-cheating-on-Robert Pattinson-drama. The media has left no stone unturned to report how poor Rob is devastated and traumatised by this adultery. Stewart on the other hand is so ashamed of herself that she has refused to appear in public for now.

Well, I have a small question. What about the other poor soul who must be just as shattered, if not more, as poor Rob? Ms Liberty Ross, wife of Rupert Sanders, has been betrayed by her husband when he had an affair with Kristen who is almost half his age. Sanders, not only cheated on his wife, but also their children. Why is he being spared of the wrath which Kristen has been facing ever since the scandal came out in public? Why is only Rob, at the receiving end of the world’s sympathy whereas Liberty’s reaction is not even being mentioned anywhere?

Like a compass needle that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.” — Khaled Hosseini.

This statement by Mr. Hosseini, unfortunately, is very true. It is the woman who deserves to be punished when she cheats on her man. But never should a woman question a man who cheats on her. It must have been HER ‘mistake’ if her man had to turn to another woman to seek pleasure. Men have always been allowed to get away with things that women were not. And this fact is not solely true in matters of adultery.

In another infamous case when a young girl was publically molested by a mob in Guwahati. She was brutally kicked, beaten, groped and stripped. The crowd captured the incident on the phone cameras but none came forward to rescue her. Once again it was assumed that it must have been the girl who provoked the assault. Her ‘nerve’ to wear a short skirt, perhaps was an invitation for such a (entirely ‘justified’ and ‘deserved’) fate.

In the innumerable cases of rape and sexual assault which have rocked our nation, our society has managed to find a way to blame the woman involved. How can she be a victim? It must have been HER foolishness which led to such an incident. She must have been wearing a revealing outfit or displayed indecent behaviour such as drinking, partying with unknown men, and staying out till late. What a ‘poor’ man is to do in such a situation because it must have been this ‘cunning’ and ‘immoral’ woman who must have enticed him to do this to her.

When the residents from a boys’ hostel fought to have girls in their rooms, their girlfriends had joined in the dharna. The irked warden screamed at the girls: “I don’t know what kinds of families you wicked women come from.”

Need I say more?

Our society has always managed to maintain double standards.When in the same situation, why do men get away easily and women suffer? Who is to be blamed for it? Till when will this go on? How do we correct it? I, sadly, do not have the answer to these questions as of now. But I believe that a change is initiated only when one questions the ‘given’. It is high time for our society to flip the coin and see what lies on its other side, which belongs to women.