Love Thy Neighbour And Dump Your Garbage (A Satire)

Posted on September 18, 2012 in Specials

By Karthik Ganesh:

According to the latest news reports, the Indian government is considering an amendment in the constitution that would make it mandatory for a person to dump his garbage only at his neighbour’s house. The move for this amendment is the brainchild of our honourable environmental minister whose bombastic voice has recently been the focal point of a lawsuit filed by the various media houses over broken glass artefacts. The Ministry of Environment has vociferously claimed that this move would make sure that each and every family of the nation now has a clean house to live in which would bring down the government’s expenditure on public and healthcare measures.

The United States was among the first few countries in the world that came up with this ingenious idea of dumping their garbage at one’s neighbour’s place. But considering the equitable growth of the various races in the nation and with the backing of a Nobel Prize winning President, they decided to declare the Middle Eastern and South Asian countries as their neighbours and were gracious enough to give them the noble opportunity of having complete access to their nuclear and e-waste under the Dump Waste program formulated by the UNICEFB (United Nation’s International Chemical Effluents Body).

After months of negotiations with the Indian Environmental Ministry, the US government finally agreed to declare India as one of their neighbours and would help India to setup the model right from the grassroots level. Professors from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and Harvard have offered to help out in this regard and are currently busy in developing dustbins for the Indian public spaces which would remain empty 24×7 so as to overcome the problem of overfilled dustbins in India.

The Prime Minister heralded the contribution of his US counterpart in the recent developments and believed that this move would help provide a major boost to the tourism industry, as India would no longer be ridiculed for having dirty public spaces. He assured the citizens of the country that all the municipal corporation sweepers would be terminated from their job with immediate effect so as to ensure that they have access to a clean public surrounding.

The general public has come out in full support of the move as there are reports of certain high-end societies in Delhi and Mumbai already making this rule mandatory for all its residents. The denizens of the country believe that this move shall solve the core issue of river pollution as people now shall never think of discarding their waste in rivers. They also believe that our archaeological wonders, heritage sites and scenic hill stations would now stay unpolluted.

Despite the fact that this feasible and scintillating move proposed by the Indian government has cut across different age groups and has appealed to the sensibilities of every citizen of the country, only time shall tell if we have access to a clean and healthy society.