ByÂ Tanmaya Raj:
Every once in a while the turn of the newspaper page brings to us something which makes us scratch our heads and wonder: Why is this here? Listed below are few choice news items that made us lose some hair in bewilderment.
(The items are in no particular order or rank)
Kim Kardashian’s Cat, Mercy, Dead
Reality Star Kim Kardashian’s kitten, Mercy, left for heavenly abode, due to a ‘cancer-like virus’. The hype created by media regarding this incident has made Mercy a celebrity as well. If you are wondering who Kim Kardashian is, let me remind you she is a reality show star, and to stop any further questions, it will be good to remember that a star’s pet is also a star. Let us ask no further questions, as we all know curiosity kills the cat.
Santa suit sellers report Claus getting fatter
According to reports by sellers of Santa suits, Santa Claus is gaining weight each year. Even Adele’s of Hollywood, has complained that the jolly fellow is becoming fatter with every passing year. According to ABC News, Adele Saidy, owner of Adele’s of Hollywood, has been selling custom-made Santa suits to Kris Kingles for almost 40 years. Previously the largest size that she made was 50 inch waist, but now it is 76 inch. The article implies that people haven’t been health conscious lately and we may look forward to Santas having 100 inch waist.
Man Fathering a Child at 96
A 96-year-old Indian man claims to have fathered a child, who is his second in the last few years. Ramajit Raghav and his 52-year-old wife reportedly gave birth to a healthy baby boy on October 5. According to Raghav, he has been able to attain this great feat, as he regularly has butter, milk and almonds, and does not indulge in drugs and alcohol. Now that’s interesting! Having healthy food and good habits have much more benefits than anticipated.
Foreign Trainers are hired as Libyans Forgot How to Vote
The Revolution in Libya has finally borne fruit, and now the Libyans can look forward to election days in Libya. Libyans would be able to witness election days after generations. Kids ask their grandpa’s innocently what the hell an election is. After the assassination of Gaddafi, Libya has decided to go for democracy, by holding proper elections. However, the problem is that how to vote and how to tell people what exactly is voting? It has been 50 years since the last election in Libya. Now, foreign experts in Election are being hired to train people for the election procedure, and bids to hire them are still being invited.
Ikea monkey Darwin to spend Christmas at animal sanctuary
Yasmin Nakhuda, owner of Darwin, Canada’s most famous monkey, broke down into tears, when a judge ordered the monkey to be deported to an animal sanctuary for at least a month.
Fisherman towed out to sea while catching record 29lb fish
Dan Richards, a local fisherman, learnt a good lesson on greed, when he along with his kayak, was towed out to sea, while trying to catch a 29lb 10oz cod. Though, the man was able to catch the giant fish ultimately, and brought it to shore, it must have been a hell of a catch!
Human hands have ‘evolved for fighting’
New research on human hands has revealed that they have evolved to fight. As compared to apes, human hands have shorter palms, and stronger thumbs, which show that they were evolved to do something different than what apes do. As per US researchers, human hands were shaped to punch and fight.
Man found dead standing up in his kitchen
Andrew Evans, a 35-year-old man, died while standing in his kitchen, at his home in East Grinstead, West Sussex. Apparently, he had hurt his head that day, and was very drunk. His death has been described as ‘bizarre’, which is not very surprising.
Pope says future of mankind at stake over gay marriage
According to Pope Benedict XVI, gay marriages are a serious threat to the entire mankind, and if these continued, the future of human generation will be doomed. He openly criticized the new marriage equation, and cited France’s chief Rabbi Gilles Bernheim, who has already expressed his views against gay marriage.
11 Products That Make Cats More Like Humans
The modern age has seen a sudden devotion to cats, making them almost equal to humans. If we take a look at the pet products that have recently hit the market, we will realize how we are humanizing the furry creatures. Today, we can not only buy cat outfits, but also cat ties and cat headphones.