UFOria: Here’s Why Aliens Think That Earth Is Not Fit For Them

Posted on January 21, 2013 in Specials

By Shubhra Kukreti:

Anything that does not identify with us scares us. Things beyond our comprehension startle us and we spend more and more time figuring them out, fascinating about them and let’s say, hallucinating about them. Associated with extraterrestrial life; UFO, as described by the Oxford dictionary, stands for ‘Unidentified flying object; a flying saucer’. Air Force Regulation 200-2,[33] issued in 1953 and 1954 defined an Unidentified Flying Object as “any airborne object which by performance, aerodynamic characteristics or unusual features, does not conform to any presently known aircraft or missile type, or which cannot be positively identified as a familiar object.” Reports suggest that UFOs have been spotted even centuries ago. However, no other incident/story did more to put these shiny flying saucers in collective conscience than the episode of Phoenix Lights, 1997 where in the city of Arizona, a large number of people witnessed a triangular shaped saucer in the sky for nearly three hours. Then again, there have been cases of abduction by the aliens; who can forget the Betty and Barney Hill abduction incident,1961 where the couple sensed a sudden loss of memory after they viewed a flying saucer and few days later, complained of having nightmares about being poked by ‘grey aliens’. The phenomenon of crop circles reaffirms many people’s belief in alien life. Various scientific institutes in Europe and the USA are specifically dedicated to the study of UFOs, the term ‘Ufology’ is used to describe the collective efforts of those who study reports and associated evidence of unidentified flying objects. While scientists are busy solving this puzzle, a huge industry thrives on the mystery of flying saucers. Popular media feeds peoples’ imagination to cash on it, movies like Men In Black, Fire in the sky and video games as UFO: Enemy Unknown, UFO: Aftermath are quite famous. There was a buzz about some bright spheres in triangle formation at Arkhangelsk in European Russia on Friday, 4th of January, 2013; but considering the fact that the earth has become uninhabitable for humans themselves, why would they wish to join us? Are they equally curious? Or, I assume the earth serves as their kaalapani. Maybe the erring aliens are deported here. If we transcoded their sonic signals; the message of aliens, I believe, would read something like this:


Dear Keeper of the Galaxykind,

This is to request you to take us back from the exile on Earth, dump us to whichever planet you wish but here. We know we do not have a right to make a plea; yet your Highness, if you keep us on Earth, the purpose of the punishment would not be met. In this punish-o-yage to the Earth, we sensed that in the land of homo sapiens, humanity is breathing its last. Please do not pretend that you know nothing of the Connecticut incident, Damini case and the likes. We could not even land our prisonaucer safely here as it is so heavily polluted; the smog further caused irritation in our sensory organs. This planet seems to be boiling, it’s extremely hot here.

We heard these men talking about something called ‘Global warming’. Water, which we thought was blue in colour, looks yellow, grey, brown and even black here. Do not they know theirs’ is the only planet with water? May be since you showered them with all the conveniences imaginable, they have become so spoilt (more spoilt than we are, we swear). We nearly choked out of breath as there was very little oxygen available. Earth stinks! It stinks of CO2.

There are so many moral maladies here; these men take extra money to do a job which is actually their duty, they call it ‘Corruption’. Let’s pray corruption never reaches our people, it is far more dangerous than our little brains allow us to imagine. Of course they do have their mechanism, something termed as religion and spirituality for dealing with moral maladies, but your Highness, due to the smog when we wrongly landed in India(well, in school we had read India was the most spiritually aware country on Earth! ), we saw a humungous crowd in a field. We wore the invisible coat and what we heard next was incredulous, a man called Akbaruddin Owaisi was addressing ‘Muslims’ and we could easily make out that he was inciting them against ‘Hindus’. We did not like the ambience of that place and left but later discovered that ‘Islam’ and ‘Hinduism’ are two religions to reach God (May be, it’s you they call God) but the followers of the two are constantly fighting.

Wherever we went, on the beaches or mountains and forests, we found large packs of men spoiling the flora around them. Since we were invisible to them we easily navigated from one place to another but men, it seems, do not enjoy such freedom of movement; they have ‘Borders’. How funny! We guess they won’t reach us ever because if they have a vision so narrow, they will never be able to make a leap to ‘over terrestrial faith’.

Moreover, this earthly humour is beyond us, men say really nasty things about each other and then articulate a LOL after that, it leaves us confused. Yet another strange thing we noticed is that men gaze less on faces but more on Facebook. They use their brains less but rely more on Artificial intelligence, we read in our books that man’s is the supreme intelligence. Does not it mean that he should be of help to those who are lesser abled? But he exploits them, his greed knows no bounds. We observed that fat men had more food to waste; the needy boney ones had nothing. The big houses had no people but the small thatched roofs overflowed, there was no water in the taps yet tons of it to attack the agitators, or as they put it, the common man. Oh yes, we really don’t get this; how do they decide about being important? To us, they all are the same with different but equally important functions.

Dear Keeper, the list of man-made maladies is never ending. In a saucer-shell, please do not keep us on the Earth; we might come back becoming ‘important’. We might become men.

Yours faithfully,

The lost ones.

Photo Credit: Luz Adriana Villa A. via Compfight cc