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“I could have been molested, or raped”, An Account Of How I Was Eve Teased And Couldn’t Fight Back

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By Kusha Kapila:

A five year old girl was raped. Am I shocked? No. I am not shocked; I am angry but definitely not shocked.

Eveteasing

Earlier this week, I was walking to the metro station from work at around 7 in the evening. 7 ‘o’ clock in the evening is not late, nor was the road deserted, that led to the metro station. I was getting a little late, so I chose to walk brisk. A lousy judgment on my part! Now I am a decently endowed woman, whose boobs tend to bounce a little during vigorous activities, a fact I was oblivious to that day. Even as a group of seven boys walked past me, eyes fixed on my boobs, I kept walking, unfazed. Until one of the boys from that group casually remarked, ‘agar baniyan pehenti, toh hilte nahi na’ (If you would have worn a bra, you boobs wouldn’t have bounced) I have been a victim of eve teasing, not massively, but I know how filthy can lecherous men be. I was too jolted to react but with whatever courage I could muster up, I turned and irritably replied- Kya hai? Seven men stared at me, as my mind oscillated between two extremes- Should I fight or is this my cue to run?

I ran.

Of all the melodrama that surrounds me — mostly that emanates from me every day- I didn’t have a word to say. I have opinions of every issue and I do not ever leave an opportunity to express what I feel but, in that moment, I was skeptical of even raising my voice. Had I shown the boys their place and given them a lesson in human anatomy, I could have been touched, molested, or even raped. Or maybe, they would have been intimidated by my outburst and apologized. I don’t know, I was uncertain. I am living in this uncertainty, so are my parents and my girlfriends.

I should have said something, probably should have slapped the boys, called the cops or created a scene. Hell I should have created havoc over the guy’s audacity!

Instead, I just wore a better bra the next day. While I have put my pairs in a better bra, there are seven men who’re probably eve teasing a girl every day. I failed as a citizen and, more importantly, as a woman that day.

You must be to comment.
  1. Neharika Gupta

    Appreciate your honesty greatly! You’re not alone.

  2. P. Maheshwari

    You are in a jungle, wild animals surround you-either get such beasts caught and roam free or else dress modestly and be comfortable. Till lionsd. , cheetahs, jackals in human form surround you, be prepared to get attacked. Not even police help. Take care girl.

  3. Social Scribblers

    Nice to hear your confession… Next time anything like that happens please fight back; teach them a lesson if you can. As you say if they are not stopped they will go on eve-teasing or molesting some girl or the other everyday. Yes, you are a woman living in this uncertainty… a daughter and sister… But don’t forget that you are also a responsible citizen of this country and protecting yourself from such lewd remarks is not just your right but also responsibility !!

  4. Harshita Srivastava

    So what if you couldn’t fight back that day, you have been courageous enough to confess infront of everyone today. At such situations, the mind becomes numb but now you will fight if you face eve teasing, for us, for every girl on this Earth who shouldn’t face this!! You didn’t fail, you rose up to inspire us to fight. You know what the biggest problem in India is, we are made to ignore eve teasers, we shouldn’t retort to such men, why? ‘Cause they are filthy and they might harm you? No, no reaction on our part has just made them powerful, a proper retortion is what they need. We won’t let them fill their ego, we’ll fight for you and for us.

  5. Ra’s al Ghul

    You did not fail, and as you have said yourself, if you decided to teach them a lesson, you could have been beaten and/or raped. There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

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Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

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Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

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A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

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Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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