By Spoorthi Pema:
It was just another day at my friend’s place, the usual jibber-jabber, the annoyingly loud television and random college friends walking around conveniently adding their confusion to the same, that made no sense in the first place. Amidst this chaos, that one can surprisingly get used to, my friend introduced me to a new member, who I hadn’t had the opportunity to meet before and I say opportunity since he is the protagonist of this blog post.
“He is the most famous guy in college and he has three girlfriends, all crazy about him.” This was the first statement that heralded his initiation into the group. He blushed and his pride in this ‘achievement’Â of his was evident. To my surprise, my friend looked at me with a glance that hinted that I remark on the new member’s ability to collect women as one would collect candies or toy cars. All that came out my mouth was a “Sorry!”
As expected, looks of confusion were directed at me. I realized I was supposed to be impressed somehow and probably should have offered to be the fourth girlfriend. I had to cover up and say “I’m sorry for you! It’s a struggle to even survive one relationship, and you manage three”, when I originally wanted to say “I’m sorry for you! Your lack of a decent education and mental maturity is so evident.” But then again it was our first rendezvous, and I didn’t want to scare the guy away with my strong opinions and principles(Call me crazy).
I should have been more offended at the fact that such a young and a potential future advocate of this nation(this extremely verbose lot were all students of Law) , I didn’t comprehend how preposterous his ‘achievement‘ of not only deceiving three women was, but also how badly it reflected on his ability to treat women as an equal gender that deserved respect and courtesy. But then again, who am I to say anything? I was more disappointed with my friend who welcomed this member to whom women were just collectible items, with open arms and quite literally. The day continued as if nothing was wrong and nothing needed any attention.
As a society and as citizens, we have the right to draw a line as to what is acceptable and what is not. We hold loud discussions in cafeterias about the condition of women in this nation, we throw mud on the government for not protecting women enough and eventually, we point fingers at women themselves for provoking the crime done against them, but none of us ever stand up in our everyday lives against people like him.
His choice of treatment of women and his wrongly-placed pride in it should have found a stop amongst his peers, who have the ability to realize how damaging an attitude such as that can be not only to the three women, but the society at large. Yet we fear and we hesitate to say NO! STOP! Women are equal! Women deserve better!
Everyone has the equal right to be with the partner they choose and exercise their sexual freedom, but only as long as the rights of the other people involved are also being respected!
“Things do not change; we change”
-Henry David Thoreau
Raj
In most cultures across the world, it is the male who is expected to initiate romantic interest in the opposite sex. In fact, this is expected not just by males but also by the females, who will give hints if they are attracted. Almost all of my female friends will never ask a guy out, instead they will expect him to ask them out if they like him. Why? Because they don’t want to seem desperate and want to maintain their dignity. What a load of bull-crap! What kind of equality is this? Are men somehow inferior that they must always ask a woman out, arrange for funds and transportation for dates? When was the last time you saw a role-reversal? Even our movies promote this kind of one-sided nonsense.
So for equality to take root, women must initiate romantic interest and do the same things a guy would do for her.
Neha Jha
I agree with u. i did so..proposed a guy. But, u know, everybody stopped me saying its not proper for a girl to propose. And, the guy whom I proposed also didn’t like it. His mother questioned my values and principles…I will propose again in spite of it all. But, yes, society considers it proper for biys to propose..blame it on them.
Raj
Great! I hope your crush isn’t insecure about you asking him out. It’s about time men in general shed their ego and started to accept such proposals.
Rajiv Bhole
If women want equality, they can also have three boyfriends. They are free to have as many boyfriends as they want to. Nobody is stopping them. And I don’t think it is right to curtail the freedom of others just because we don’t like what they are doing, or because we don’t want to do what they are doing.
Somia Sharma
Hi Rajiv,
It is not the number of relationships that a guy has, being discussed here. It is nothing to be proud of. Personally, I would want a relationship with a person that was strong and substantial and not go about having a relationship with every other guy on this planet. This Casanova attitude brings about disbelief and treachery. Had it been a girl instead of a boy in this story, we would all (yes including you) be calling her slut, whore, hooker and what not.
I know it is a matter of pride for guys to flaunt the number of girls he’s been with or who like them but had he been able to keep a honest relation with one girl, he would have been more satisfied, loved and happy.
Pay attention to the message that is being spread and not merely words.