This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Spoo Rthi. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

He Said He Has Three Girlfriends And He’s A Hero!

More from Spoo Rthi

By Spoorthi Pema:

It was just another day at my friend’s place, the usual jibber-jabber, the annoyingly loud television and random college friends walking around conveniently adding their confusion to the same, that made no sense in the first place. Amidst this chaos, that one can surprisingly get used to, my friend introduced me to a new member, who I hadn’t had the opportunity to meet before and I say opportunity since he is the protagonist of this blog post.


He is the most famous guy in college and he has three girlfriends, all crazy about him.” This was the first statement that heralded his initiation into the group. He blushed and his pride in this ‘achievement’ of his was evident. To my surprise, my friend looked at me with a glance that hinted that I remark on the new member’s ability to collect women as one would collect candies or toy cars. All that came out my mouth was a “Sorry!

As expected, looks of confusion were directed at me. I realized I was supposed to be impressed somehow and probably should have offered to be the fourth girlfriend. I had to cover up and say “I’m sorry for you! It’s a struggle to even survive one relationship, and you manage three”, when I originally wanted to say “I’m sorry for you! Your lack of a decent education and mental maturity is so evident.” But then again it was our first rendezvous, and I didn’t want to scare the guy away with my strong opinions and principles(Call me crazy).

I should have been more offended at the fact that such a young and a potential future advocate of this nation(this extremely verbose lot were all students of Law) , I didn’t comprehend how preposterous his ‘achievement‘ of not only deceiving three women was, but also how badly it reflected on his ability to treat women as an equal gender that deserved respect and courtesy. But then again, who am I to say anything? I was more disappointed with my friend who welcomed this member to whom women were just collectible items, with open arms and quite literally. The day continued as if nothing was wrong and nothing needed any attention.

As a society and as citizens, we have the right to draw a line as to what is acceptable and what is not. We hold loud discussions in cafeterias about the condition of women in this nation, we throw mud on the government for not protecting women enough and eventually, we point fingers at women themselves for provoking the crime done against them, but none of us ever stand up in our everyday lives against people like him.

His choice of treatment of women and his wrongly-placed pride in it should have found a stop amongst his peers, who have the ability to realize how damaging an attitude such as that can be not only to the three women, but the society at large. Yet we fear and we hesitate to say NO! STOP! Women are equal! Women deserve better!

Everyone has the equal right to be with the partner they choose and exercise their sexual freedom, but only as long as the rights of the other people involved are also being respected!

Things do not change; we change
-Henry David Thoreau

You must be to comment.
  1. Raj

    In most cultures across the world, it is the male who is expected to initiate romantic interest in the opposite sex. In fact, this is expected not just by males but also by the females, who will give hints if they are attracted. Almost all of my female friends will never ask a guy out, instead they will expect him to ask them out if they like him. Why? Because they don’t want to seem desperate and want to maintain their dignity. What a load of bull-crap! What kind of equality is this? Are men somehow inferior that they must always ask a woman out, arrange for funds and transportation for dates? When was the last time you saw a role-reversal? Even our movies promote this kind of one-sided nonsense.
    So for equality to take root, women must initiate romantic interest and do the same things a guy would do for her.

    1. Neha Jha

      I agree with u. i did so..proposed a guy. But, u know, everybody stopped me saying its not proper for a girl to propose. And, the guy whom I proposed also didn’t like it. His mother questioned my values and principles…I will propose again in spite of it all. But, yes, society considers it proper for biys to propose..blame it on them.

    2. Raj

      Great! I hope your crush isn’t insecure about you asking him out. It’s about time men in general shed their ego and started to accept such proposals.

  2. Rajiv Bhole

    If women want equality, they can also have three boyfriends. They are free to have as many boyfriends as they want to. Nobody is stopping them. And I don’t think it is right to curtail the freedom of others just because we don’t like what they are doing, or because we don’t want to do what they are doing.

    1. Somia Sharma

      Hi Rajiv,
      It is not the number of relationships that a guy has, being discussed here. It is nothing to be proud of. Personally, I would want a relationship with a person that was strong and substantial and not go about having a relationship with every other guy on this planet. This Casanova attitude brings about disbelief and treachery. Had it been a girl instead of a boy in this story, we would all (yes including you) be calling her slut, whore, hooker and what not.
      I know it is a matter of pride for guys to flaunt the number of girls he’s been with or who like them but had he been able to keep a honest relation with one girl, he would have been more satisfied, loved and happy.

      Pay attention to the message that is being spread and not merely words.

More from Spoo Rthi

Similar Posts

By Vaishnavi Gond

By Survivors Against TB

By IMPRI Impact and Policy Research Institute

Wondering what to write about?

Here are some topics to get you started

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

Share your details to download the report.

We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below