There is no doubting the fact that Dr Manmohan Singh is the most ridiculed man in our country and we entirely sympathize with him for being the butt of almost every joke. Since things are evidently not working out in his professional life, we decided to provide Dr Singh a few alternatives. Now that power is bound to desert him, we would suggest that he should seriously consider these five options that we have to offer:
1. Speaker of the Lok Sabha:Â Being a speaker of the Lok Sabha requires immense amount of patience and resilience. All that you need to do is sit back and watch helplessly as our respected MPs make a mess out of things. Manmohan Singh definitely fits the bill as we have seen enough of the above from him, every time our country was in a state of turmoil. He could give a certain Ms ‘Baith jaiye‘ a run for her money. However, if there was one department where he would lose out, it would be the smiling that Mrs Kumar seems to have mastered. Nonetheless, this should not be an issue as we could rope in Gursharan ji to force him to flash a few ‘CoAlgate’ smiles.
2. A tutor to Rahul Gandhi:Â Rahul baba, the youngest and the most eligible bachelor of our country, the future of the nation, is in dire need of some tutoring. So his soft like a feather mummy, Sonia Gandhi could blindly rely on our dear Dr Singh to teach Rahul a thing or two about the Indian economy. This would help him understand the fact that sharing food with the poor and the deprived further deprives them of the little meal that they can afford for themselves. Manmohan Singh could always bribe Rahul baba with some gelato and pizza in order to get him to learn things. We are sure he would have enough money to buy a few years’ supply of the same. Coalgate and 2G anyone? Err.
3. The Statue of Silence:Â We have been known to ape the west blindly, more often than not. So if the United States can have the Statue Of Liberty, why shouldn’t the largest democracy have an image that represents us globally? Now that the Taj Mahal has become too mainstream and behen Mayawati is out of the race, Dr Manmohan Singh could get a huge statue of himself that would stand as a tall and imposing structure, adjacent to India Gate. It could be aptly named ‘The Statue Of Silence‘ for reasons we do not really need to elaborate upon.
4. Manmohan Baba:Â Now that the glorious days of Ramdev Baba and a certain Asaram Bapu are over, we are desperately in need of a new guru to frantically follow in the footsteps of. He might have been a puppet in the hands of Sonia ji, but it is now time for Dr Singh to turn into a puppeteer. And his ability to stay abnormally peaceful when things are terribly wrong has been discussed several times over, so a meditation guru is what he can easily morph into. And some of his first disciples could be the likes of Digvijay Singh, Markandey Katju and our very own, Arnab Goswami. So be prepared to welcome Manmohan Baba, the new Godman on the block.
5. The first sardar superhero:Â India has never really had a superhero we can be proud of. Shaktiman seemed to have disappeared because his heroics were a tad too unsafe for our children and the lesser said about Krrish, the better. Manmohan Singh turns into a saviour (probably for the first time in his life) by transforming himself into a superhero. He could be ‘Maun Man‘, the hero responsible for teaching kids the values of discipline and that silence is golden. Toy stores would earn in millions owing to the massive sale of ‘Maun Man‘ figures, the parents would be happy and content, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker and Tony Stark would have serious insecurities and nobody would dare brand Dr Singh as an ‘underachiever’. A superhero with a power blue turban – now who would have thought of that?
We earnestly believe that Manmohan ji could do the aforementioned things a thousand times better than being the Prime Minister. So Dr Singh, do let us know, kya yeh sab theek hai?