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A Girl Got The Job You Didn’t Get? She Isn’t An Eye Candy, She’s Just Better Than You

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By Meghana:

I was scrolling down my Facebook news feed and came across a status that read: “To crack an interview, one either needs confidence or boobs”. Seeing this coming from an “educated” student, left me appalled and gobsmacked.

Yes, it was offensive and if someone thinks it was in good humour, well they certainly have a very poor and sick sense of humour. This is not new, in fact, I am pretty sure all of us might have experienced such crap every then and now (not sure if everyone treats it as one). This, my friend is the gender stereotype we all talk about, presented in the most preposterous sense. Women are objectified in every sense possible. If a woman makes it through a job, it’s inadvertently presumed that it was because she is an eye candy.

women

I want to use the most simple and blatant language possible so that it’s clearly understood that women are not objects or eye candies or other terms that are more than often used to define us at professional institutes. If a guy is not able to make it to a position that a girl holds, it’s time he faces the situation the way it is. The woman is downright better than you sir. It’s imperative it comes across; because if you think it should hurt your self-esteem, make sure it does not. As we need to rest assured that you don’t develop made up notions in your head and god forbid, go on to insult the entire female fraternity for having breasts.

This is the problem with our unreconstructed, hypocritical mindset. Girls have been the victims and now when they have actually dared to take a step ahead; it is these thoughts that hold them back. Men cannot preordain what is good for us, or what we are meant for. It is this question of self-esteem and satisfying one’s ego, because of which, in spite of strict laws rapes continue to happen. Women are still vulnerable. Rape is not just an act of sexual assault abetted by sexual desires. It’s a matter of over powering and taming the weaker sex.

This has to stop. To stop this we have to get rid of the numerous stereotypes that are so innate and deeply entrenched. Parents need to have their daughters fight back instead of just making them realize that this world is a cruel entity. Parents need to teach their sons that it makes you no less of a man if you lose to a girl. The youngsters need to know that they need not stick to gender roles that society has so strictly defined for them. We need to get out of our virtual shells and get rid of this hypocrisy and the dogmatic, irrational opinions that we hold.

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  1. rashmisoeuvre

    Very well said Meghana. It’s high time people understand that the composure and sense of responsibility resides equally in all genders. We strive to achieve a position, in fact more than the other biased lot of people. Because it’s not just about getting through, but also going extra miles in making our efforts to bang their mindsets that we are no less than them. And no doubt, the losers will always put blame upon others.

    1. Raj

      While I agree with you overall, but there is reverse gender discrimination that is happening. Regarding the boobs statement, crude as it may be, but the truth is that many educational programs actually do give preference to women above similarly qualified men. IIMs give extra marks, foreign B-Schools also give preference. Many white-collar firms are also selectively hiring women. And not to mention the fashion industry which is blatantly sexist and pays female models far more than male.
      I personally have no issues with all this. It should be the right of any private firm or private educational institute to have its own selection policy. If a private firm wants to hire only women or even if wants to hire no women at all, I don’t think it should be regulated.

  2. Nirant Kasliwal

    Great work. Superbly written and highlights an often ignored factor in office politics.

    But presenting only one side of the coin is not correct either. There are girls who play the gender card portraying themselves as victims for ulterior motives.
    If gender stereotyping against girls is bad, then is doing so against boys acceptable?

    In event of any doubt, in the modern India, the boy is always guilty of misconduct and mischief. He is always portrayed as the anti-Women element.
    As if we never did anything for our sisters, mothers or wives and we lose our character certificate because of our gender.
    To sound a cliche, the public opinion is “All girls are Sita and all guys are Ravana.”

    Why are the boys always to blame for any noise in a school classroom? I recall the principal entering the classroom and finding everyone gossiping, she announced: “Boys, on your benches with hands in the air. Girls get back to your places.”

    Concluding, don’t just put the onus on youth. We follow what we’ve been taught and what we observe.
    It’ll take time for us to know where to draw the line between pro-Women and anti-Men decisions. They are not the same.

    1. Raj

      Well pointed out!

  3. Raj

    Another typical “Let’s blame men for all crap” article that somehow starts with office politics but brings in rape
    And notice all this is about nice cushy office jobs. How about a little bit of victim-sympathy for all those men who do the crappiest jobs in the world which requires them to kill and get killed like the army and the police? Men are vulnerable too you know. Men don’t have in-build bullet-proof armor or anti-personnel mine detection systems (and neither do women, of course). How come I don’t hear the society pushing women to do those crappy jobs, just men? I believe the burden of supporting and defending the society should be shared by both the genders.

  4. Baldeep Grewal

    While I agree with the writer I want to draw attention to the fact that there are black sheep among us too. A surprisingly large number of women wear provocative clothes and adopt a seductive countenance while going for interviews. This artifice stems from their own awareness of them not being good enough. They try to disguise their intellectual limitation with physical exuberance. Its not just the men who need to change their views. Women also need to stop using their body to get their way. BE INDIVIDUALS, NOT POODLES.

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

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Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

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MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

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A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

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A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

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