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5 Things To Show That Men Are Daily Victims Of Gender Bias Too

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By Neha Mayuri:

“Real Men Don’t Cry Only Wimps Do” ~ Haven’t we heard this often? One of the most common stereotypes against men!

“Kya Ladkiyon Ki Tarah Sharma Rahe Ho?” ~ Wait Please! It is perfectly okay for a man to feel shy!

“Mard ko dard nahin hota” (a real man does not feel pain) ~ Halt! Men do feel pain!

Men have been subjected to gender bias too! They are expected to be strong, masculine, tall, handsome, courageous, bold, rough, tough, insensitive, emotionless, fearless, shrewd, pragmatic, business minded, achievers, and expected to be successful! If they show their soft side, it’s frowned upon by the society. It is often believed that men should not have any weaknesses, they must not show feelings that make them weak. A real man is expected to have hobbies such as smoking, drinking, womanizing, rash driving, and playing outdoor sports like cricket, football, etc. Hobbies like “cooking”, “decorating”, “sewing”, and “dancing” are considered feminine. Isn’t it?

stereotypes

The stereotype states that real men are not “beautiful” but “smart”. So if you call a man “beautiful” chances are you will hear giggles all around. If I say men face gender discrimination too, many may probably smirk and shrug their shoulders with indifference!

He Is Emotionless: We have often heard things like “real men don’t cry, don’t feel pain, are not shy, are aggressive, and passionate.” We expect men to be tough and emotionless. But the truth is, every man has emotions, and what is wrong in expressing them?

He Is Careless: Countless cartoons aired on TV channels and various sitcoms often portray the father figure being constantly outwitted by the mother. Many TV shows portray men as careless characters! They are portrayed as incapable of doing daily chores. Well, men are versatile and resourceful and it is totally uncalled for.

Masculine Careers: At times the stereotype can take a deadly turn when a guy wants to pursue arts or literature but ends up pursuing commerce, science and management because men don’t study arts as per the stereotype! Certain careers like, being a nurse or being a nanny is reserved for women.

If He Cooks He Is Sissy: If he cooks well and loves to spend most of the time experimenting with delicious dishes, he is a sissy! Many say that! The society, strictly defines roles for men and women. According to the society rulebook, men who cook are frowned upon. Real men don’t do housework as per the stereotype!

He Is Violent: Men are deemed to be violent and aggressive. They are expected to express anger more frequently because the stereotype says that they have an inability to control anger.

As Dr Stephen Whitehead rightly said, “(Social) Masculinity is not something men are born with”. Don’t you think expectations from men are fixed by society artificially? We have been conditioned to fit into gender roles for so long, resultantly we suppress our real feelings, needs, as well as desires. Due to the rules set by society and fear of rejection, men and women often suppress the qualities inherent in them. This definitely does not infer that men and women are same, of course there are gender, biological, and social differences but it does not imply that characteristic of a particular gender does not exist in the opposite gender.

If they perform daily house chores, it is considered that they are doing a “woman’s thing” which is then considered effeminate. They are under constant pressure to be strong, to be perfect. While following these stereotypes, we often fail to perceive that stereotypes may harm men and make them feel insulted. No matter what the stereotypes say, the truth is men do get emotional often. Not all men can remain strong at all times. They do cry. They do feel scared. Not all men can be aggressive at all times. Many men are great cooks and great at household chores. Many men are extremely creative and versatile. Many are great dancers. Many are blessed with beautiful looks.

In spite of all these traits and characteristics, they are what we call ‘real men‘ and we need to ensure that due to these stereotypes we aren’t dragging men down accidentally!

You must be to comment.
  1. sango1090bidani

    I completely agree with his article as i have been myself subjected to all kinds of ridicule, especially from my male peers during school and even to a certain extent in college, just because i possess a soft side and m caring and i end up giving more time to my daily household chores than spending time with them. Its annoying to read that all the time we focus only on female exploitation and gender bias but forget that men also go through really terrible gender bias.

  2. Neha Mayuri

    Thank you @sango1090bidani. I’m honoured that you took time out to read it. I absolutely agree with what you have to say.

  3. Aditi Thakker

    Very well written! Just to add to it, Men are expected to fend for the family, especially in parts of Asia and Africa. The man must earn the money and the woman must look after the house. Because both working is just not acceptable, so the man must carry the burden single handedly. This may not be an emotional aspect, but it sure is stressful.

    1. Neha Mayuri

      Thank You for reading it Aditi. Honoured. Yes! I absolutely agree with what you have to say!

  4. aishwarya iyer

    this article really speaks out on part of men.they too are human beings.so naturally they too will have feelings..!! its just not right to suppress anyones emotions…guyzz …express yourself OUT..!!

    1. Neha Mayuri

      Absolutely Aishwarya! I reckon that.

  5. Raj

    Sad thing is that many women expect men to be chivalrous which is just another form of sexism.

    1. Neha Mayuri

      I respect your views Raj. Thank you for reading it!

    2. Raj

      Thanks for the article, it was quite needed!

  6. Rajaram

    As cliched as this might sound, this is where we need to take a leaf out of the Western Countries’ book – that part of the world where role reversal is not looked down on. Much needed change of perspectives in this article. Well written!

  7. tiwari

    First time someone have dared to write some good thing about men ,thanks!

    1. Raj

      There are many women who in fact do support men’s rights in the same way there are many men who support women’s rights. It is good to see that people are moving beyond gender and looking at a person as an individual in his or her or it’s own right

  8. kavya

    To say I agree is an understatement. Men are infact subject to more gender bias than us women. We do get away with things we are not supposed to do. Men are often expected to act in a certain manner and if they don’t stand up to our expectations they are not gentlemanly enough, and at times not manly enough. It is time we functioned on basis of complete equality impartial to gender.

  9. Rahul Chellani

    Men are in reality subject to more sexism that women are. The biggest one of them being the assumption that we are not suppost to have any emotions. And when you do act that way, you are again accused to being stone hearted. Well, its good to see that there are still many women who can understand the mind and more importantly the “heart” of a man and what all he too goes through in daily life. Lets hope more women can be as compassionate and respect men for all that they do for the women in their lives just like women are respected for all that they do. . 🙂

  10. adya00

    Very good article!!! After all gender bias isn’t one sided.

  11. Devi

    My husband is a fantastic cook and he loves cooking, whereas I just can’t. So when we have a party, he is the one collecting compliments. I am the designated driver when we are together. Once when we took the car for a minor repair, the mechanic asked him, “Why, you don’t know driving?” as if “letting” me drive was an unmanly thing for him to do. Without batting an eyelid he replied, “No, she is a better driver”. It takes courage to fight it either way, man or woman, and the only way to live your own life is by not bowing down to the behavioral expectations of anyone, even if it is the society.

  12. Nitin

    If only you were a man, I would have said you to be gay.

    1. adya00

      You’re using the word ‘gay’ as a form of insult?

  13. Ro7900

    Hardly to say it was not a bogus culture that has been pass from old generations, but now i think there has been a change in the opinion on stereotype about MAN. Still in some places(my village) they feel that men should be emotionless, they should be heartless and it is due to their belief they nurture their children in that way!!! That was my opinion until my Graduation, But to my surprise it’s not only in my villages but also in cities people feel the same way, the mentality of people rules out to be who you are, we feel pain, happy and deep down inside we care the most, but afraid to show it remembering the stereotypes existing about men in the society. You rarely see any Guy exhibiting our emotions we just EXPRESS them. We are grown-up that way.

  14. rosechaula

    Well, all I have to say is that yes men are victims of the gender bias. This is strictly prohibited to Indian males. The famous saying goes, “Be a man”. I question this very saying. Rather, I would say that let men be the way they are. They pretend to be tough but they aren’t. Many a times, all they want to do is run to a female friend and cry like babies. But hello! We all started our lives by crying at first right. So what goes wrong when he cries at the age of 10, 20 or 30? I think this is the worst taboo in this society of ours and then when gangrapes happen and brutallest murders happen. Everytime we read that each of the gangrape or a rape is getting so much brutal in its nature that its very difficult for us to even imagine them. Well if they are suppressed from sharing their emotions then they do not forget. They may pretend to but then they just tend to build up on the negativity and then it becomes as huge as an iceberg at the tender age of 20. Can we women imagine our lives by not crying out for so many years? And when men cannot resist the pain they end up in all kinds of anti social activities like smoking, womanizing, drugs, drinking etc. They want to be loved as they are. Thats everyone’s fundamental right and when we women have it from our birth why cant they? If I had a male friend who wants to cry and share his emotions with me then I would let him do that. That is a sign of respect for any woman that that man gives us the special degree irrespective of being just a friend that he can be himself. We just have to help such men out.

  15. Aritra Mazumdar

    a very nice article indeed 🙂

  16. jeeka krishna

    The wrold’sbest chef in this world..who charges 2.5 crore Indian rupees for making food for onetime.Gorden Ramsey..lunch dinner or breakfast…is a Scorpio Man!..and he is really blunt and honest..try telling him that cooking is a girls job and be prepared for a quick Good retort from his side..

  17. bobshmit

    you forgot one. Men are sexual predators. Just stand around a childrens’ park, or sit next to a child that is not yours and see the response.

  18. Prostab Kundu

    very nice article.loved it

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Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

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