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In The Race To The Top, I Forgot To Live: My Life As An IT Professional

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By Trippayar Sahasranaman Priyaa:

My dreamy eyes had great visions for me when I set my foot on the stairs of my first company for the very first time. They could see me as an honored employee with great hike each year down the line. My first year rolled by within the wink of an eye and without a wink of sound sleep in pursuit of my dreams. By the end of one year, I had turned into a machine that transformed caffeine into technology during the day and fed on loud music and junk food to stay up long to fix bugs during the night. Weekends were the same, mostly. A few months later, I noticed that I looked nowhere close to what I had been when I joined IT. I camouflaged the new addition to my body- my flab in loose tops and covered the under eye darkness with concealers. I consoled myself by thinking that the pain and the drop in confidence over my looks, was definitely going to pay me off and I eagerly waited for my first appraisal.

IT professionals

However, that year didn’t go well for IT and the industry was hit by recession. I was left with a very low hike and very high expectations regarding my performance. I continued working, as it was impossible to take off those shoes of a responsible team player. It could have been a cocktail of frustration, bad eating habits and stress, I’m still not sure of what it was, but a few months later, I found myself in the hospital as my pressure had gone for a toss and my body could not sustain with the change. As I lay down in the gloomy hospital bed with my mobile in my hand, I waited in vain for a call or message expressing concern over my health from my colleagues. There was only one from my tech lead- saying that he spoke to the higher ups to get me a five day long vacation to recover. Only my parents came to visit me twice a day as that’s all their age and health could permit them to do. I had lost all my old friends in pursuit of my dreams and hadn’t made any new ones either. Things had changed and now, they had to change again.

That’s when I realized that my ambition wasn’t taking me anywhere. I had conditioned my happiness on it and had lost my happiness and health along the path to achieve it. If this continued, one fine day my dear job would be done with me and all I would end up with would be insurance, money and a grandchildren who I didn’t know of, in the long run. And soon after that, I decided that I would work for eight hours a day, and put my all into those eight hours. The rest of the day would be my personal time.

The quality of my work gradually improved and so did the quality of my life. At times, I sought the therapy of words to soothe my mind. I read a couple of novels and tried my hand at writing to pour out my emotions. Today, even if my hike isn’t good enough (as for any employee, it would never be), I can calm myself down saying that I took things easy and gave importance to my personal front as well. I have a small yet reliable friend circle and I have no qualms about missing out on the ‘star performer’ award.

When I look back at the whole thing right now, I feel that even the lesson I learnt wasn’t worth the pain that I made myself endure during the first year of work. However, ever since then, my life has become more beautiful and wonderful, after I started to open my eyes and look at the world around me. No money or award can pay for this happiness, so I have chosen to live for the moment.

You must be to comment.
  1. Neha Mayuri

    Very touching! You’ve shed light on something that is happening! I can relate to it.

  2. Mehul Gala (@mahigala7)

    Your piece of writing inspired me.Message conveyed in superb manner. Even I am an IT professional and I could totally connect with it.
    Read this too

    1. Trippayar Sahasranaman Priyaa

      That’s a really inspiring speech by Narayana Murthy . Thanks Mehul & Neha

  3. gargi bhardwaj

    It is the reality of most of us. All of us have that etch but rather than doing anything about it we act as if we are helpless. Kudos to you for frame that feeling in words. Though not an IT professional but, I can relate myself to the article.

  4. Saumya Sahni

    Over ambition and isolation share a directly proportional relationship. In the course of chasing our ambitions, we do at some point leave our loved ones and friends behind. Actually we stop bothering since there is too much happening which is new. The aura of pursuing your ambition is such. Isolation hits when one eventually reaches the ladder of ambition and finds no steps to climb beyond the final ladder. It is an appalling condition when is there to sit beside you and listen to you. Coping with stress and specially emotional disturbances should be taught at an earlier age.

  5. Manan Grover

    Its rightly said that one should give equla importance to work as well as personal life. Having an ambition and the guts to chase it blindly is a good thing as long as it does not hamper our health. Without the zeal and energy which comes from good health, no mind can function.

  6. Anitha Choudhary

    I am sure every budding IT professional can very well relate to this article 🙂 Guys there is life beyond your systems and its really beautiful… Please dont miss it at any cost coz it precious, we might not get it back…

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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