Of Sexual Desires And Exploring Sexuality: Why Should Men Have All The Fun?

Posted on August 6, 2013 in Specials

By Nishtha Relan:

We all have our moments of insanity. During one such insane incident, when some college friends, some very close and the others, a little more than acquaintances, and I had decided to spend the whole night outside, on the streets and then in a park, we decide to play ‘Truth’, and ask each other embarrassing questions, that obviously turned sexual. What surprised me the following morning, while going to college, sleep-deprived, was that we had said way too much without needing a single drop of alcohol as an excuse. A guy friend rebuffed the option of a relationship, and casual sex too, in favour of masturbation. Women happily confessed to having lesbian or bi-curious fantasies. Somehow, talking about our sexual needs had come so easily, that we didn’t really giggle a lot or get scandalised at all.

A still from the recently released movie 'BA Pass'
A still from the recently released movie ‘BA Pass’

I recalled my first sexual experience, how it had turned out so natural, that I had repeatedly shrugged my mental faculties to think why I wasn’t guilty. And then it hit me. The small town girl, who had always prided herself on being seen as innocent, hated the pretentious mask of virginity and had in herself a violent, needy woman who, just like the friends she had suddenly discovered liberation from the restrictive patriarchy with, could openly proclaim how horny she could be. Sex isn’t scandalising anymore, and neither is being vocal about it.

The first time we realise that we are sexual beings can be a rather interesting time. We get scared of the influence it has on our minds, it is awfully riveting. We start exploring ourselves, breaking all the rules of parental advice against inappropriate touch and exploring our own bodies, still unfamiliar. And the freaking hormones going everywhere! Whom could you have talked to? Hopefully, that phase has long passed for us, and we have realised that virginity for women is just a construct; that once you lose it, no meteor falls on the earth, no skies thunder, you just learn about a new experience. But s*x is always a hushed word. The parents would rather not talk about it, lest you take it for a validation. And the guys have their way of keeping score and bragging about it. I am just so glad to see the girls being just as comfortable with talking about sex, minus all the immature giggles.

You’d probably know about the KNC ‘Confessions‘ page on Facebook that came up with the wave of numerous confession pages. Like the other all-girls’ colleges, women, there, show frustration over lack of testosterone in the environment and crib about the teachers, but they are also very vocal about their lesbian or bi-curious nature, and their need to sexually satisfy themselves. They share personal experiences of hot, kinky sex, or of unsatisfactory sex, of one night stands or the convenient bed buddies, and let people know that experimentation is the In-thing right now. They stand by each other when guidance is needed. Many people follow the page for the sensational thrills, and consider it another example of women’s institutions fostering fast-and-loose women, and some others love to create nuisance, but say what they may, it is delightful to see women finally getting comfortable with their bodies and sexuality. There is nothing “Haaww” about it anymore. Things are out in the open, and the more you look away from them, the more they follow you. You have all the sex toys available, all the chocolate syrup being utilized, in a rather fun way! And people know, and are smiling and smirking about it. Not like it didn’t happen in the last decade, but now, the veil is being lifted, and it is so liberating. And the ones lecturing about our morals, worried about their future wives turning out to be more experienced than they ever could be, are crackling and seething. But what the hell! *grins*

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