By Shelly Mahajan:
There’s a sudden malfunctioning of electricity across the city. Street lights are going on and off at a margin of seconds, the weather has become extremely cold and unpleasant and dark clouds have gathered in the sky accompanied by thunderous sounds. Quite like the scenes from the movie ‘Koi Mil Gaya’, when Rakesh Roshan is driving and an alien spacecraft appears overhead whose effect causes his vehicle to behave strangely or when Hrithik succeeds in communicating with the extraterrestrial life through sound waves ‘om om om’ and the lights go haywire.
In a while, a ray of light is seen coming from one end of the sky and quite evidently, a celestial announcement (read Akashvani) is heard in the voice of, none other than, the scintillating and honourable MP “Raj Babbar”. He’s in a joyous mood and screaming ‘eureka, eureka…’. To our fear, he has managed to co-find a restaurant along with Rasheed Masood and Farooq Abdullah, that intends to offer a menu priced between Re 1 and Rs 12. The restaurant offers three signature dishes prepared by a Michelin star chef ‘Chintu’, mini thali priced at Re1, semi-deluxe thali at Rs 5 and maharani thali at Rs 12 each containing rice, dal, sambhar and vegetables in varying quantities.
The nation has been turned into a crazy place. Delhiites are getting a déjà vu feeling, one that first appeared with Starbucks landing here. Media is covering every inch of the restaurant from the sang marmar marble flooring to traditional black cauldrons and Chintu’s transparent black net banian. At the Newshour, Arnab asks, ‘Tonight the nation and especially I, want to know the specialty of your restaurant Mr. Babbar.”
As of now, three branches are opened in Delhi, Mumbai and Babbar’s constituency Firozabad. Each named after his three children Prateik, Arya and Juhi, after having failed to create a mark in Bollywood, this was much-needed.
People are flocking in huge numbers. The first set of visitors has managed to zomato their reviews, largely mentioning of Chintu’s hairstyle and photo frames boasting ‘Most malnourished customer of the day’, trying hard to create a Morrison-Lennon-Dylan (café) effect. Doordarshan manages to interview a few people outside the restaurant after having their meals. The clipping shows them holding their stomachs and thought bubbles drawn from their mouths saying, ‘Burrr…..rrrp…pet bhar gaya.’
Google has made plans to introduce an application called ‘Babbars @baraha(12)’. On Babbar’s insistence, the application will offer android users to download all Babbar family movies including the rare collection of Juhi Babbar’s ‘Yaaran Naal Baharan’ at downloadable charges of Rs 12.
Ford Foundation has decided to fund his noble project on a condition that Babbar shall not be called as an American agent by Congress. In a recent interview to Newslaundry, Babbar has confessed that he has plans for expanding his feeding business into a catering company for marriages and Iftar parties.
3 years later
Babbar’s restaurants have expanded across the world and the chain is named ‘Twelve’. This has had a huge impact on the reputation of the number ‘twelve’, now considered highly auspicious. Now every time the clock strikes twelve, we say ‘Babbar bj gaye’. Expecting mothers are making sure to deliver on the twelfth day of a month.
Babbar’s work has been highly appreciated by the United Nations for its contribution towards the Milllenium Development Goals (MDGs). India has managed to feed all its people and eradicated hunger by 2015.
At the end of every menu card offered at Babbar’s eatery, the following is written in bold,
“So, what are you thinking? Go grab your bite, offer valid till you leave the planet!”