A Conversation With The Indian Rupee: ‘My Position Is In Your Hands’

Posted on September 10, 2013 in Business and Economy

By Trippayar Sahasranaman Priyaa:

The last time we spotted the rupee, she looked really thin and aggravated. We decided to ask her a few things about her well being and what she thinks about her sudden downfall.

Indian rupee

Q: Do you think it is fair that you have tumbled down the currency ladder? What do you think is the reason behind this ordeal and chase to bottom?

Rupee: There is nothing fair about economics. There is only wisdom and ignorance that can make my value fluctuate. Well there are a couple of reasons behind the atrocities done to me, and they are done at different levels.

Let me start with the global foremost one: A lot of money has been converted into dollars and locked up in Swiss bank. If this money was circulated in the Indian market, it would have given rise to so much economy generation. People believe that charity begins at home, but they do not realize that their home is only a part of the bigger picture. When the world collapses, their home would, as well.

Q: Do you think that the massive work and economic giant, the IT industry, can save you a place a little higher than what you have now?

Rupee: Well, what I told you about the global foremost reason penetrates down to the citizen level in a different way. The professionals of the IT industry earn sufficient amount of money, more than what they need to make both ends meet. But what goes wrong is their ignorance in spending the excess money. Much of the money is wasted on enjoyment, booze, pizzas, burgers, buying cars and phones etc. which is not wrong, but my position would have been much better off, had this money gone into the market as investments, or even fixed deposits.

Q: What do you think about those who impersonate you and the body doubles?

Rupee: It is sad that there is so much of fake note in the market as of now. I heard that the underworld don Dawoo Ibrahim injected a lot of fake currency into the economy, so foreign investors are reluctant to invest here.

But, there is one more dimension to the fake note topic that you brought up. A couple of people my face by writing silly jokes or love letters on notes. You wouldn’t believe it, because of this, the government loses 2638 crores approximately each year as they cannot be used for STD transactions. Again, that affects my worth.

Q: Do you think that the food security bill is going to assuage the harm done to you?

Rupee: I only hope so and I’m keeping my fingers crossed at the moment. But honestly speaking, I don’t think so. There are two aspects to this. First of all it will raise government spending on food subsidies to about 1.2% of GDP per year from an estimated 0.8% currently, exacerbating the government’s weak finances. This will, in turn, affect the economy as a whole. Another thing is that there might be people faking their status to avail the scheme. This would have detrimental effects on the economy. I, however, think that the whole notion behind the food security bill is noble as it aims at providing food to the people, and I hope that it is not misused.

Q: What can you say about the present government?

Rupee (chuckles): Well, what can I say? The 2G scam and the coal scam are the first few things that come to my mind as they have acted as a tumor and eroded the last ounce of healthy blood in me. However, the present government has three of the best economists of India and I am happy that now it is trying hard to reinstate my former position.

Q: It was great meeting with you and really nice of you to share your opinions with us. But last but not the least are there any words you would like to share with the Indian citizens?

Rupee(nods): Of course, there are a lot of requests that I have for them. My position is in their hands.

Firstly, invest and spend wisely. Let your money circulate in the market and generate economy. And as far as possible, buy Swadeshi things, to curb the imports.

Secondly, use Facebook and twitter for your silly jokes. Please don’t write on notes.

Thirdly, please vote for the right government, these scams have taken the life out of me.

Fourthly, please pay your taxes and don’t save your money as black. Though you may save now, you will be affected in the long run.

Fifthly, avoid paying or taking bribes and do not fake your financial status to avail schemes like the ones in the Food Security Bill.

These little drops of water make a mighty ocean and would definitely help me and of course, you! I don’t want to rely any longer on the Loreal ad to hear that I’m worth it 🙂