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On Depression And Suicidal Thoughts: A Teenager’s Advice
By Ismat Hena:
“… I’m glad I didn’t find a blade or I could have slashed my wrists just like I did earlier…”
“…. Now I’m a psycho. A mentally-I’ll girl. I’d read stories about slashing wrists in Chicken Soup and now the same is happening with me. I always wanted a life different from others and here is my wish fulfilled. I bet none of the others in my class slash their wrists…”
The excerpts from the diary entries given above were not invented by me but were written by a friend Illeana (name changed), who is so close to me, I consider her a part of myself.
Depression is the most common disease among teenagers nowadays and also the most common one that goes unnoticed for as long as a lifetime. I personally know around 4 people who suffer from it. While many have serious cases, most suffer from its subdued form.
Depression is teenagers has many causes. Teenagers tend to compare themselves with the other people and often find that they are not as good-looking/popular/bright/ as others. It can also be caused due to family problems or problems in their friend circle. Often, it is also because of failure in studies. Teenagers are suffering from depression and their families aren’t even aware of it because of constantly decreasing interaction between parents and teenagers due to busy schedules.
While serious cases of depression might require psychiatric help, most of the teenagers possess a stroke of latent depression which gets flared up once in a while. Those who suffer from depression experience symptoms which include insomnia or over-sleeplessness (in most cases it is the latter), tension, inclination to stay alone and think. These people tend to think about themselves and their lives as imperfect, and also may have regular suicidal thoughts. Self -mutilation could be present, as it was in the case of Ileana, and as it is in the case of most teenagers. Also, these depressed people are not able to see the positive traits in their personality, and concentrate vastly on the negative attributes. Sometimes, even when they do see the positive features, they tend to dismiss them and emphasize the negative aspects. Outlook towards life is negative and little problems become a cause of worry for them.
To those people who possess the traits featured above, you might like to correct your situation in the limited time you’ve got. Your funda for life should be YOLO – You Only Live Once. Why waste your only life living in depression when you can enjoy in all that time, and preserve the memories and laugh about it later in life?
A big mistake these depressed people make is that they hide their feelings and emotions deep inside their hearts, from their friends and family members. This mistake will not help you out. Instead, keeping your feelings bottled-up inside yourself will worsen your situation someday, share with friends and family member. Ask for help. Sharing your feelings is a great way to forget your pain, whatever it might be. Friends and family members must try to keep the depressed person as happy as possible and talk to them often, providing solutions to the problems they are facing and motivating them.
Depression does not occur suddenly; it is triggered by a single or a chain of sad events, and keeps developing as time passes. An effective way to deal with depression is to eliminate those problems from your life or stay away from the people/places/things/events which caused them; a total cut-off is the solution.
A quote that I caught on a magazine cover one day while coming back from school, and the one which inspires me when I’m neck-deep in a problem is, ‘Is the problem as big as it seems?’ It is our brain which exaggerates any problem by a very large extent. It’s actually not that big, if you look at it from a different perspective. Also, there are certain people, certain friendships, certain problems, certain things, certain memories, and certain other things that make our life way more difficult to live than it already is. The most simplest and effective thing to do in that case is to eliminate those certain things.
As for not being perfect, tell me one person who is? What’s true is that even those who seem perfect, aren’t. I have this girl at school, she’s rich, pretty, famous and well, perfect (according to me) . But no, she too has had her share of pain. There have been incidences in her life where she was forced to part with her best friend, where she was rejected by many and well, you get the gist. She too has had them all.
The main thing with the people who seem happy is that they eliminate all the negative factors, whereas the depressed ones keep holding on to it. The former ones move one, the latter refuse from doing so. To all the teens out there spoiling their life self-mutilating and crying over things, you might want to be one of the former.
Ps – Just to inform, Illeana is now leading a perfect life again. She just got well again, one night. It kind of hit her. She left all those problems behind, way behind of her. I know, because she’s a part of me. I’ve known her more than she knows herself.
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Manan Grover
Parents play a major role here. They should instil in their children a feeling of self confidence and teach them to not get intimidated by others talent/looks/popularity/success. Parents should also catch early signs of depression in their children so that it can be cured at an early stage. Parents should spend quality time with their kids and have good conversations with them,making them feel important as well as an equal at home while making them learn valuable life lessons.
Ishika
Well the article is a must-read. Ismat hena has done it again. This time she touched me. This article hit me and made me realize how people can eliminate the bad things from their lives and move on… Will implement this in my life… Well ileana is also a part of me not that wrist cutting one but yes the other factors are surely in me….
Ismat Hena
Thankyou Ishika ! 🙂
Shanthi Cheriyan
One of the main problems is that parents start noticing the children only when they start showing signs of depression. By then it might become late to bring them back. Many children do not share their problems with their parents as that habit was not cultivated in them when they were young. At a time when the size of families is decreasing, parents have a much bigger role to play- that of a brother, sister and a friend. You have to train your children to open up to you for each and every incident. Only then will you be able to know your child as a close level.
Kavya Vidyarthi
This article is definitely a must-read. It strikes a chord at the heart. It is a great motivation to leave aside all negative feelings and strive to live a positive life.
Ismat Hena
Thankyou Kavya ! 🙂
Aparajitha Nair
Very well written and apt to the context indeed! I do concur with your thought Ismat. Depression (necessarily not suicidal tendency) has hit/will hit all most all the teenagers at one point or the other in their teen life. I feel with positive affirmation and with the support/help/understanding from your parents/siblings/best friends this can be dealt with and done with too….. Thanks to Aakash for posting this link on FB, which got me to read this. 🙂
Ismat Hena
Thankyou Aparajitha ! 🙂
megha
YOLO should be everyone’s moto in life….in some ways I can identify my life with Illeana’s….keep on writing stuff like this Ismat….
you inspire me 😀
Ismat Hena
Thankyou Megha ! 🙂 I am more than honoured, because this is the first time I AM inspiring someone ( You see, all the time Im the one who’s getting inspired 😉 ) And yes, everyone can identify with Illeana in some way or the other.
yeshaswini
hmm…. so ismat is back with another heartrending article… something which was tear jerking. not because i could relate to it but maybe because even for a millionth of a second i did have had this thought of suicide. but i concealed it with some other thoughts. indeed parents play a very imp role in the life of a child who is into this kind of a depression or something as parents can talk about it to the children and help in building there moral. but for that the children must be in a position to share it with there parents ….. and for that the parents must be understanding enough to solve them and listen to there problems….. but to some extent even friends play a really crucial role to increase the self confidence of there fellow friends which can truly bring about great change in the minds of the children deep in depression….
coming back to the article.. ismat once again done an awesome effort to help those into something like depression… and i know no one could have better understood the plight of the people who are into depression , than you…… luved the article 🙂 and YOLO 🙂 great work 🙂
Ismat Hena
You loved it ? Thankyou so much 🙂 Im highly obliged !
..And who better than you to understand the role that friends play in the life of those depressed 😀
And yes, children must be in a position to share their stories with their parents and most of the time sadly, they aren’t. That’s why interaction is important. So that each can be comfortable to talk to the other.
garima
Awesome :’) (Y)
Ismat Hena
Thankyousomuch :’)