Get Well Soon Mr. Ram Jethmalani: You Suffer From A Disease That Draws You Towards Stupidity

Posted on September 19, 2013 in Specials

By Sumedha Bharpilania:

“Power corrupts, but the prospect of losing power corrupts absolutely” — These were some wise words that Mr Ram Jethmalani, one of India’s most noted lawyers and politicians had said during the extensive debate around the Lokpal Bill in the Lok Sabha in December 2011. “I decide according to my conscience who to defend. A lawyer who refuses to defend a person on the grounds that people believe him to be guilty is himself guilty of professional misconduct” were also some words spoken by this esteemed individual much before he started to follow the religion called ‘hypocrisy’. But we shall come to that later.

Ram Jethmalani

Time always tends to fly and it often takes along with it the glory that an individual once held. It does not care about the Rams or the Asarams. They say that the old and the senile do not know what they happen to be talking about. After having bid a sad farewell to the Bharatiya Janata Party, which he blatantly termed as ‘’stupid’’, Mr Ram Jethmalani seems to have also bid adieu to what can be termed as common sense.

According to Mr Jethmalani, the girl who accused Asaram Bapu of sexually assaulting her was suffering from a chronic disease that “draws a woman to a man.” You mean ‘love’ Shri Ram ji? Why would she choose Asaram Bapu of all people to shower with all the passion she held inside her? Did he have ‘Amul Macho Innerwear’ on during the time of the act? And then why would she accuse him of rape if she was so immensely ‘’drawn’’ to him? Asaram may obviously not have had brotherly feelings for this ‘diseased’ girl because she probably wasn’t carrying a rakhi with her and the fact that she was like his granddaughter. Also taking into account the sleeplessness he has been suffering from, Asaram ji might have easily somnambulated and began an ‘unholy’ act while exorcising her, without realizing the enormity of what he seemed to be doing. Is this what you mean to say Mr lawyer?

Considering the magnitude of the statements made by Mr Jethmalani, it is not entirely difficult to assume that the gentleman, in all probability, suffers from a chronic disease that draws him away from logic. It is supposed to be a fatal, crippling disease which is also known as ‘idiocy’. The ailment usually is found in ‘exotic’ ‘tropics’ like India and mostly affects those responsible for running the nation. The cure is not entirely known, but a good dosage of ‘shaming’ does relieve the problem to some extent. Arnab Goswami is known to be the pioneer of this medicine though it did cause some of his patients to have ‘withdrawal’ tendencies. However, judging the resistance Mr Jethmalani seems to be showing to such drugs, chanting the spiritual mantras that Godmen like Asaram ji have to preach, instead of defending them is a good way to go. Because old age, right?

Till the nation waits for Ram ji to recover from his illness, we firmly believe that the English version of the Hindi pronunciation of the word ‘lawyer’ suits him better. Aren’t your pants on fire already, Mr Jethmalani?