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Get Well Soon Mr. Ram Jethmalani: You Suffer From A Disease That Draws You Towards Stupidity

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By Sumedha Bharpilania:

“Power corrupts, but the prospect of losing power corrupts absolutely” — These were some wise words that Mr Ram Jethmalani, one of India’s most noted lawyers and politicians had said during the extensive debate around the Lokpal Bill in the Lok Sabha in December 2011. “I decide according to my conscience who to defend. A lawyer who refuses to defend a person on the grounds that people believe him to be guilty is himself guilty of professional misconduct” were also some words spoken by this esteemed individual much before he started to follow the religion called ‘hypocrisy’. But we shall come to that later.

Ram Jethmalani

Time always tends to fly and it often takes along with it the glory that an individual once held. It does not care about the Rams or the Asarams. They say that the old and the senile do not know what they happen to be talking about. After having bid a sad farewell to the Bharatiya Janata Party, which he blatantly termed as ‘’stupid’’, Mr Ram Jethmalani seems to have also bid adieu to what can be termed as common sense.

According to Mr Jethmalani, the girl who accused Asaram Bapu of sexually assaulting her was suffering from a chronic disease that “draws a woman to a man.” You mean ‘love’ Shri Ram ji? Why would she choose Asaram Bapu of all people to shower with all the passion she held inside her? Did he have ‘Amul Macho Innerwear’ on during the time of the act? And then why would she accuse him of rape if she was so immensely ‘’drawn’’ to him? Asaram may obviously not have had brotherly feelings for this ‘diseased’ girl because she probably wasn’t carrying a rakhi with her and the fact that she was like his granddaughter. Also taking into account the sleeplessness he has been suffering from, Asaram ji might have easily somnambulated and began an ‘unholy’ act while exorcising her, without realizing the enormity of what he seemed to be doing. Is this what you mean to say Mr lawyer?

Considering the magnitude of the statements made by Mr Jethmalani, it is not entirely difficult to assume that the gentleman, in all probability, suffers from a chronic disease that draws him away from logic. It is supposed to be a fatal, crippling disease which is also known as ‘idiocy’. The ailment usually is found in ‘exotic’ ‘tropics’ like India and mostly affects those responsible for running the nation. The cure is not entirely known, but a good dosage of ‘shaming’ does relieve the problem to some extent. Arnab Goswami is known to be the pioneer of this medicine though it did cause some of his patients to have ‘withdrawal’ tendencies. However, judging the resistance Mr Jethmalani seems to be showing to such drugs, chanting the spiritual mantras that Godmen like Asaram ji have to preach, instead of defending them is a good way to go. Because old age, right?

Till the nation waits for Ram ji to recover from his illness, we firmly believe that the English version of the Hindi pronunciation of the word ‘lawyer’ suits him better. Aren’t your pants on fire already, Mr Jethmalani?

You must be to comment.
  1. Nidhi

    The queen of sarcasm has done full justice to this piece.. Kudos Sumedha!

    1. Sumedha Bharpilania

      Haha! Thanks a bunch Nidhi, means a lot 🙂

    2. Raj

      Yeah why wouldn’t she? It’s easier to pander to an audience that believes in media’s omniscient verdict rather than standing up for your country’s justice system like Ram Jethmalani, despite being blasted from all directions.

    3. chandra

      do you even know the meaning of the word ‘Justice’ ?

  2. Aditi Thakker

    What an amazing article! Ram Jethmalani’s statements never fail to amuse, and his logic..rather the lack of it is even more hilarious. The author has captured the stupidity of the Rams and the Asarams so well!

  3. practicalidealist

    That was brilliant. If I could’ve written it like that, I would’ve. My initial reaction was disgust and feeling sick but I guess you’re right. Idiocy does prevail in this nation. Like an epidemic.

  4. rajnish

    I cant believe ;you type of underdog writer can make such kind of allegation against such a big personality ,a larger than life personality ,how can you dare ,see yourself in the mirror who are you? and you are talking about the great Ramjethmalani ,i am really laughing at your insane thought and literature .You women are megalomaniacs .you said that why that girl would shower her affection on Asaram like old person ,I have personally seen 20 year old woman having illicit relationship with 60-65 year old ,it may be physical attraction or may be monetary attraction ,i have seen beautiful girls sleeping wd ugliest men then again you ll raise question if some contention arises between couples, ,so please dont talk about age or look of a man .Men are always young and it is not like that a girl can get her mate of her choice as men are not so easily available ,in your personal life you might have liked so many men do you think they were easily accessible !and they might have been coming in your day dreams ,but whatever is available we feed ourself with that especially women,so dont preach about women’s choice. secondly do you have any conclusive evidence against asaram ,and if you dont have ,you dont have right to pronounce your rubbish verdict about any person .perhaps boys dont like you and i can see your frustration in your writing .Do you know women are used against great persons to tarnish their image .you women are pious and all the men are characterless I daily see the piousness of women in cinema hall ,malls n metros ,at that time you dont talk about your character when you openly hug and kiss boys in public which is an an offence .At that time your modesty is not outraged why dis dichotomy? Let the verdict come till then you type of people shut your stinking mouth ,……………..

    1. Sumedha Bharpilania

      Hi Rajnish

      Just read whatever you wrote and I think I understand your school of thought, Thank you for sparing your time to comment. Oh and did I say that I feel extremely sad for you? Let’s hope Asaram Bapu’s sermons help you because I don’t think anything else will. 🙂

      -Underdog writer

    2. Raj

      @rajnish : You are generalizing too much

  5. rananjay

    you type of low profile people can even talk about Ramjethmalani ,!

    1. Sumedha Bharpilania

      Yes we do. Just the way you ”type” people comment here 🙂

  6. Raj

    Seriously why are you picking on Ram Jethmalani? He has mentioned quite clearly in his interviews that he made no such statement. He refused to divulge what he actually said because that is how professional lawyers are expected to behave. He believes in the system of justice that our country has and refuses to play into the “trial by media and mob”. But you don’t care about that, do you, since you need the fodder for your articles? Even before the verdict is out, you are convinced that Asaram is the criminal and the girl is the victim. I am sorry but your mentality is severely detrimental to our justice system.

  7. Divyank Rana

    “Amul Macho Innerwear”? seriously? Is this what you come up with when you are supposed to write on a public platform? All i can see in this article is vulgarity and ignorance. It makes me really sad to realize that most of the youth of our time is turning out just like you. Before bashing on someone like Ram Jaithmalani do a little background check on him. I can see that most of your knowledge comes from television maybe that’s why you are quoting inner wear ads and tv anchors in your article. People like you believe anything the media tells you without actually contemplating on an issue yourself. the only advice i can give you is READ MORE AND REASON before making an opinion on something and if wish to criticize anyone do it with a proper decorum other wise you will just come out looking like a boor and nothing more.

  8. Diganta Gogoi

    I,think this piece of write up is not a fair one at all. Here the writer has damned Ramji for excercising his right to freedom of speech. And as a lawyer ,the law of the land confers him the liberty to defend his clients with whatever theory,premise or exiom he may deem fit. Nobody except the courts have the right to question the limits of this right to a lawyer. That he is a lawyer per excellence is a well established fact. His acumen to hit the bulls eye in an argument is evident from the fact that every word of his pinches those who lack the power of calling a spade a spade. His courage is enormous in public as well a professional life.We have lot to learn from him rather than endeavour to show disrespect to his seniority.

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