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When A Girl Says NO, It Doesn’t Mean A ‘Yes’ Or ‘Try Harder’!

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By Aditi Panda:

A ‘no‘ from a girl is perceptibly a no and should be interpreted as a ‘no‘ and not as wanting to be pursued. Yes, I do agree that a lot of hue and cry is made by our patriarchal society about a women’s attire but after all it’s a girl’s individual preference that should be valued and she should be permitted to wear the attire of her choice, the way she wants.

One billion rising

 

Why are girls made to bear the brunt of things for no fault of theirs and are targeted? Today, girls have to move out of there comfort precinct to pursue further studies, for work, after marriage and on diverse grounds. She is empowered and self-assured because of the upbringing and education and can prove herself at par with her counterpart with equal precision and clarity. This is only possible if she gets an opportunity to prove herself and is independent to move freely and safely in the society.

Are girls safe even in there own homes? There are predators lurking at every corner with noxious influence creating a miasma of terror and violence in the shape of both recognized and nameless faces. The girl is left with no choice and is forced to accept the advances of the perpetrators even if she does not want to, or face the dire consequences. If she tries to confide to the family, either she is barred from going out or is held responsible for the circumstances. So, the girl is left with no alternative but to bear the agony mutely and remain silent.

This, again, is misunderstood and she is made to relent further. The blame game is always on the girl in majority of occasions and the men roam around scot-free. The efforts of the girl are suppressed by the family as they are reluctant to get into a scandal or predicament, because of the influence of the old school of thought, that it might tarnish the reputation of the girl and affect her marital prospects and will bring in a bad name for the family in the social circles. The situation is slowly undergoing a transformation and will further change if a girl is able to give a clear message with a bold NO and if her wishes are accepted.

Here, I would  also want to request all the top honchos of television channels to bestow a little deliberation to these innate details because television and media are the prevalent source of influence on the public and the youth get the wrong ideas from the daily soaps. At present, the envelope of vile and venom is being pushed a little too far, indirectly glamorizing the gruesome and appalling which is creating a bad impact on the psyche of the youth. The atrocities on women by the women have broken down all the confines, so, when can one ponder over the atrocities a man inflicts on the woman?

The onus lies on all the players of this drama called society to play their part to perfection to assure that the cross-hairs of hostility and cohesive negativism loose there mayhem on the minds of the men who are unwilling to accept a rejection, as it hampers their dignity and crushes their ego. The resilience of the emotions and let go attitude will change the man’s attitude of revenge and the ‘no‘ from a girl will be accepted with respect. The role of a girl is also important because she has to personify clarity, dignity and firmness when she voices her opinion. Today, the equation in the society between both the sexes is a jigsaw puzzle and difficult to comprehend but with little punitive ideas and the right approach, the motif of violence and trauma can change to help the girl stay safe.

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  1. Raj

    Since we are painting the entire gender with the same brush and acting all nanny-like, how about I tell women ” If a man refuses to marry you, don’t put a false rape case against him” ?

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Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

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A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

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As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

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Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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