By Mani Agarwal:
In many Indian families, birth of a girl is considered as an auspicious occasion and often termed as “Lakshmi ka aagman”. I wonder whether people actually mean it or they say it just to “console” the family in which the girl is born. It’s a well-known fact that the major “drain out” of money, takes place at the time of her weeding. For some it’s a burden, for some it’s their duty, and some consider themselves fortunate enough and enjoy every bit of it .No matter how liberal, educated and modern a family is, every parent believes in “saving” for their daughters to ensure they get a nice boy. The more you save the more you can demand for in the boy’s curriculum vitae; this is the mantra.
It’s not their fault; the society has always been like that. Far from being made in heaven, marriages are now made on paychecks. Above all, we girls feel excited about the “grand” wedding our parents plan for us. I don’t think that things will change in the near future but certainly, we girls can do our bit. We receive education, we fight for our rights, we fight against injustice and we demand our independence; then why don’t we do something for those who gave us a chance to live in this world. Why don’t we pledge to attain such heights where no extra saving is needed for us to get “settled”! Why don’t we tell our parents that we will not get married until we achieve something in life on our own according to our capabilities .Why don’t we tell them that we love them and they should not worry for us, ask them to stand behind us, support us and we will manage on our own.
It’s not only about those daughters whose parents can’t manage to save for them but equally applies for those who are very much self-sufficient. Why don’t daughters from well to do families realize that apart from spending their parents earnings profligately, they also have a duty towards them. Of course, parents will not tell us to do so. It’s our responsibility towards them. We should realize that parents are not there just to ensure that we live our life happily and to the fullest, they also have a life and the freedom to live and enjoy it as they like. They also have likes and dreams. Why should they spend their lives in making our lives better? Haven’t they given us enough opportunities to make it better ourselves?
Unless daughters realize that they are more than something that needs such “constant bulwark”, the society has been like this and will remain so. Have the courage to reject that clout not for anyone else but your own parents.