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No, Your Joke On The “Life Of Boobs” Doesn”t Make Me Laugh. THIS Is What It Does Instead
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By Geetika Aggarwal:
Earlier today, I received a joke on WhatsApp about the “life of boobs“. It was a joke. Its purpose was to make the reader laugh. Though what it did was quite the opposite. It made me uncomfortable, furious, and disgusted. One of the sentences which caused such a reaction read; “When in a crowd someone squeezes me, it feel so great” (these are the breasts talking).
For anyone who has experienced this in reality (and I know many have), it is far from great. It is neither funny nor enjoyable, it is molestation. It is pathetic and agitating. In a country like India, in a city like Delhi, not much attention is paid to such violations of personal space and sexual harassment. These are instances to be ignored and lessons for being more careful in the future.
I am positive that a number of men, and women too for that matter, do not find anything wrong with such statements; after all it is simply a joke. However, is it? They say what we laugh at reflects our beliefs and our personality. With such humour doing rounds and being perfectly acceptable, does it not reflect our casual attitude towards molestation?
To those who are unable to find anything wrong with it, I do not blame you. Our society promotes ignorance and something like this has always been acceptable and ‘okay’. However, one doesn’t realise that texts, such as these, in subtle ways incorporate the idea in the minds of many that it is alright to squeeze, pinch, touch or press against girls in public because they like it. They feel ‘great’ inside.
I recently came across a slideshow comprising of the things rapists say while raping. “I know you want it.” “You were asking for it.” “You know you want it. Give in to the pleasure.” These are international cases, true. But does it make it any less relevant in our country? You may also say that these are rapes and one can’t equate molestation to rape. The degree of abuse varies, yes, but not the intention. You can check it out here
The moment has come when preaching about issues and solutions wouldn’t help bring change. It is time to act and take a stand. We often talk about changing mind-sets about sexual abuse as a solution, so it is time to say no to rape jokes. To women hating jokes. To stereotyping jokes. To homophobic jokes. It is time to stand up and say NO.
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Mehul Gala (@mahigala7)
Spot on Geetika.
Our mindset and thoughts needs to change against molestation and so does our attitude towards these kind of jokes.
I know these jokes are only meant to generate a momentary laughter but somewhere deep down they leave a mark on the way we react to a particular situation.
Let’s spread good thoughts instead because spreading cheep adult jokes is too mainstream.
Geetika Aggarwal
Thank You
Raj
@Mehul : Would you also then agree that watching violence against men in movies causes violence against men in real-life? Paraphrasing you ,” I know these movies are only meant to generate a momentary entertainment but somewhere deep down they leave a mark on the way we react to a particular situation.”. So maybe we should ban such movies?
Is such thought-policing good ?
Babua Khan
what if this was written from the perspective of man-boobs?
its fine now?
Geetika Aggarwal
I am sure that even men would mind their chest being pinched or squeezed by random people in a crowded area.
Anushree
Just would like to point out one thing; why is it that these are only the thoughts of the author alone and its not shared by Youth ki awaaz?? Cause something like this should be supported more and more in the open platform.
YouthKiAwaaz
Hi Anushree, that is a standard disclaimer in all our posts to ensure that the authors are independent, yet backed by the platform. If you wish to know whether we agree with Geetika or not, then we most definitely do without second thoughts.
Raj
Care to explain why you agree with this article, that too without second thoughts? Is this journalism?
YouthKiAwaaz
We’ve modified it a bit to make more sense out of the disclaimer.
Raj
@Anushree : Because there counter-views. Please read my other comments on why I don’t fully agree with this article. You should realize that freedom of expression includes the expression of ideas which you may not like.
@YKA : I hope you won’t resort to taking sides in order to pander to your mostly leftist/feminist audience and instead be neutral. It was because of one-sided propaganda newspapers that Nazis and Communists were able to unleash their tyranny on their masses. Letting the other side express its views and allowing the people to independently judge is one of the hallmarks of a free society.
Raj
@Geetika : I respect your right to express your views but you must realize that freedom of expression includes putting up with views that you may not like.
You did not find the joke funny. Nobody is forcing you to like it. You can stop receiving such jokes by blocking the person/website that sent it. And you have every right to write this article in protest of it.
The reason why we have molestation etc. is because there are molesters out there and because of our failing law and order situation. And not because such jokes are doing rounds. Banning or restricting such jokes will not affect anything. Sensible people are not going to start molesting just by reading the joke. Creeps who did not read this joke are still going to continue their criminal activities.
And not being satisfied with blaming jokes for molestation, you want to take it to rapes. This is a common theme among certain feminist groups (not all), who try to restrict other’s freedoms for the sake of their agendas. I too could argue in favour of banning all violence against men in movies since it causes violence against men in real-life. But I won’t.
I’m sorry but I refuse to say no freedom of expression, just because I disagree with what is being said. I believe we should be trying to strengthen personal rights and protections, rather than focussing on such feel-good measures that don’t amount to anything.
Ridhi Chugh
You have actually missed the point here. Nobody is blaming jokes for molestation. But what these jokes hint at is the underlying insensitivity that exists in the society against women. Banning will be no help, apart from being impractical. What we need is awareness against such insensitivity which this article is trying to do.
As for your freedom of expression, maybe you would want to get your fundamentals correct. Infringing on the dignity of women and belittling women issues, either through jokes, sexist comments and all for some cheap laugh has nothing to do with anybody’s freedom of expression. For that matter all women, feminist or not, have a right to be offended in such case.
Laws are important, but let us first start with changing the mindset.
Great article Geetika!
Raj
@Ridhi : Thanks for your comment. I’m sorry but belittling women issues or mens issues or religions issue is in fact a part of freedom of expression. Making sick jokes is very much a part of freedom of expression. What next, will you tell me not to point that lord Ram was a chauvanist because it hurts the hindu religion?
Also “Infringing on the dignity of INDIVIDUALS (not just women)” is to an extent , a crime. But to insult ideas be they ideas of sexism or sexual equality, that is allowed.Both are subject to criticism. You can’t muzzle people just for disagreeing with your point of view.
I agree that you have every right to persuade people to see from your point of view. But you have no right to force or threaten them to toe your line. That was my point.
Raj
@Riddhi : And also note the sexist point you have made. I support your right to use it though, but just surprised since I thought you were a progressive.
“For that matter all women, feminist or not, have a right to be offended in such case.” What about men? Or transgenders? Are we not allowed to make jokes about them?
So soldiers have the right to be offended? Do hindus have the right to be offended? And what about atheists incl. myself? I am deeply offended when people do dumb things like worshipping and sacrificing. It is an insult to human intellect and dignity.
If we go around appeasing everybody’s sensibilities, we are going to end up with a very draconian society,
Ridhi Chugh
Nobody is trying to appease anybody. This is simply about sensitizing people about women issues. Nothing more than that. And I mentioned only women in my post because the article focused on it. Had it been about atheists, transgenders or anybody else, I would have voiced similar concern.
Raj
I find it sexist since men are also victims of such hate speech but this article ignores it. Nevertheless I believe that the author has the right to write such one-sided articles.
My view is that “hate speech” against women, men , religion, minorities etc. should be allowed and should be protected under freedom of expression. If not, then you are appeasing some or the other, or even all groups for that matter.
Geetika Aggarwal
@Raj
I respect your opinion. But you have misunderstood the idea behind this article. I have no issues with adult humor what so ever. Neither am I blaming jokes for molestation or rapes. It is the mind set and the ideas some comments, statements, jokes and the like promote in subtle ways that I have a problem with.
And as for laws and rights, yes, they are important but they alone cannot prevent incidences of sexual harassment unless the attitude of the society changes.
Geetika Aggarwal
@Raj And if you wish to compare the same with violence, might a suggest a few studies and researches about the relationship between reel and real violence, most of which conclude that there is a positive correlation between the two? 🙂
Geetika Aggarwal
*Might I
Raj
Thanks for your response. Yes certainly hate speech and anti-women jokes do promote certain views. But that’s the whole point of freedom of expression. You can protest against it but you can’t ban it nor outlaw it. The focus should be on punishing the perpetrators of the crimes, whether they were vocal or silent about their views.
And yes, if there are such correlations, would you use force i,e, would you ban all violence in movies, with the threat of imprisonment? That’s what I am interested in knowing,
Geetika Aggarwal
Probably not.
But even in the case of anti-women jokes or statements, I do not promote use of force (banning them). I am simply urging those who see my point, to imply it in their life (if possible). Even if a few manage to do that, it will have an impact in the long run. I am asking the readers to take a stand. It is however, their choice towards which end (or neutral) they wish to be.
Raj
Fair enough! As long as you aren’t proposing laws against such hate speech then it is OK. Unfortunately, apart from USA and a couple of EU nations, very few countries allow hate speech. India is one such shining example, in which you can be arrested for insulting a religion or a regionalistic leader.
And coming to “No to rape jokes. To women hating jokes. To stereotyping jokes. To homophobic jokes.”, you do realize that we could go down this road and protest against pretty much any joke. There will always be someone who will take offense. That was my point.
Gurveen Kaur (@Gurveen94)
I think that It’s not only about such jokes, males or females. Nobody – be it a boy or a girl – will like the idea of being teased, bullied, touched unwillingly esp. in public. Everybody will have a different perspective towards different jokes, that can’t be changed. But the important thing is one should always be sensitive and sensible enough before carrying out any actions, passing any comments or before behaving in a particular way.
For some such things can make them feel “great”, for many it can be worse than harassment.
However, I respect you for penning down your opinion.. many take a step back when asked to do the same.