By Deepak Venkateswaran:

Gone are the days when the word “Engineer” used to bring to mind the picture of a man wearing a workshop uniform and noting the specifications of a top notch car; or that of a person working in a posh lab on a breadboard connecting and removing components and so on.

Today, an engineer has an image that bestows upon him expensive formal dresses, with a tie always locking his neck like a tag and an ID card that hangs around his body like the collar for a pet , except for the fact that these collars come in different designs and different brands ( Infosys, TCS, Wipro and so on). These accessories on him provide the non-engineer world (Yes! For engineers the world has only two types of people i.e. Engineers and Non-engineers) with the image of a skilled and well paid satisfied professional who is on his ladder to success in the corporate ladder.

So! Today, to all those Non-engineering Homo Sapiens; I bring to you 10 solid things that only an Engineer can understand (Of course anyone is welcome to read):

1) Only an Engineer understands that he knows nothing: The 4 years of college and hostel life with rotten food from the mess, and late night movies, irritating teachers, pointless lectures and zero knowledge with a certificate are all an engineer gets out of his undergraduate life. Technical knowledge and practical experience are just a mirage that he makes up to attract the other set of population.

2) Any question can be answered: This set of the population alone believes in the saying “where there is a question, there is an answer”. They are the only set of people who very well know that the answer they write in exam is nothing but nonsense, and that the examiner puts pass marks for the same.

3) 35 +40 = 75: Only an Engineer can understand the beauty of this equation, which seems like a simple calculation for the other breed. This equation has a greater significance in his life than the famous Einstein’s equation because it can fetch him a degree which actually helps him escape from the rat hole (which the world fondly calls engineering college).

4) Free Wi-Fi: To a true engineer, a free Wi-Fi gives more happiness than his monthly salary credited twice to his account. It is an uncertified fact that engineers can survive anywhere with a smartphone, laptop and a stable Wi-Fi connection as their entire life right from college has been spent online.

5) Why Engineering?: This is one question asked by fellow engineers to each other even before they ask each other’s name, and to everyone while sitting for a placement interview. Only an engineer understands the fact that no-one (including him) knows the answer, yet they so creatively make up an answer. Your job offer depends on how creatively you make up your answer.

6) Cut-Copy- Paste: While the whole world uses this famous feature of Bill Gates to copy data and as a convenience factor, engineers alone use it to save their ass and get away from professors /bosses who are always ready with their claws sharpened to get them. The real beauty and purpose of this feature of MS Office can only be harnessed by a true engineer.

7) Engineering colleges are more of a life lesson: Pointless lectures, aimless students, useless assignments, and shameless friends are all that an engineering college teaches you to handle. In short, it is more of life skill training on how to handle shit, rather than how to solve technical snags in devices. Only one who has been through those 4 years of lunacy can understand the real scenes behind this.

8) Certificates are just paper: They look at people who file the certificate they won at every single competition with contempt and sarcasm. For this unique breed, certificate is just another tree cut, what they really can connect to is the crisp paper with the picture of our father of the nation.

9) Bosses who advise  practically know nothing: No one else but an engineer subordinate can understand this fact in the corporate circus, and he too hopes to be there one day in a position where he can just say and others shut up and listen even if you sound silly.

10) The simple fact is that only a true engineer can feel all of the 9 things above. Anyone can read it, and most of them can follow it but only an engineer can connect while reading this and recollect all the crazy things he did in his life.