Gone are the days when the word “Engineer” used to bring to mind the picture of a man wearing a workshop uniform and noting the specifications of a top notch car; or that of a person working in a posh lab on a breadboard connecting and removing components and so on.
Today, an engineer has an image that bestows upon him expensive formal dresses, with a tie always locking his neck like a tag and an ID card that hangs around his body like the collar for a pet , except for the fact that these collars come in different designs and different brands ( Infosys, TCS, Wipro and so on). These accessories on him provide the non-engineer world (Yes! For engineers the world has only two types of people i.e. Engineers and Non-engineers) with the image of a skilled and well paid satisfied professional who is on his ladder to success in the corporate ladder.
So! Today, to all those Non-engineering Homo Sapiens; I bring to you 10 solid things that only an Engineer can understand (Of course anyone is welcome to read):
1) Only an Engineer understands that he knows nothing: The 4 years of college and hostel life with rotten food from the mess, and late night movies, irritating teachers, pointless lectures and zero knowledge with a certificate are all an engineer gets out of his undergraduate life. Technical knowledge and practical experience are just a mirage that he makes up to attract the other set of population.
2) Any question can be answered: This set of the population alone believes in the saying “where there is a question, there is an answer”. They are the only set of people who very well know that the answer they write in exam is nothing but nonsense, and that the examiner puts pass marks for the same.
3) 35 +40 = 75: Only an Engineer can understand the beauty of this equation, which seems like a simple calculation for the other breed. This equation has a greater significance in his life than the famous Einstein’s equation because it can fetch him a degree which actually helps him escape from the rat hole (which the world fondly calls engineering college).
4) Free Wi-Fi: To a true engineer, a free Wi-Fi gives more happiness than his monthly salary credited twice to his account. It is an uncertified fact that engineers can survive anywhere with a smartphone, laptop and a stable Wi-Fi connection as their entire life right from college has been spent online.
5) Why Engineering?: This is one question asked by fellow engineers to each other even before they ask each other’s name, and to everyone while sitting for a placement interview. Only an engineer understands the fact that no-one (including him) knows the answer, yet they so creatively make up an answer. Your job offer depends on how creatively you make up your answer.
6) Cut-Copy- Paste: While the whole world uses this famous feature of Bill Gates to copy data and as a convenience factor, engineers alone use it to save their ass and get away from professors /bosses who are always ready with their claws sharpened to get them. The real beauty and purpose of this feature of MS Office can only be harnessed by a true engineer.
7) Engineering colleges are more of a life lesson: Pointless lectures, aimless students, useless assignments, and shameless friends are all that an engineering college teaches you to handle. In short, it is more of life skill training on how to handle shit, rather than how to solve technical snags in devices. Only one who has been through those 4 years of lunacy can understand the real scenes behind this.
8) Certificates are just paper: They look at people who file the certificate they won at every single competition with contempt and sarcasm. For this unique breed, certificate is just another tree cut, what they really can connect to is the crisp paper with the picture of our father of the nation.
9) Bosses who advise practically know nothing: No one else but an engineer subordinate can understand this fact in the corporate circus, and he too hopes to be there one day in a position where he can just say and others shut up and listen even if you sound silly.
10) The simple fact is that only a true engineer can feel all of the 9 things above. Anyone can read it, and most of them can follow it but only an engineer can connect while reading this and recollect all the crazy things he did in his life.
Mani Sankar
Ought to have added something about love-life 😀
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Mani .. man love life was lesser important compared to all these mentioned above! 😛
And better would be to say that i am happily single; need not answer anyone and nor should i spend money on huge recharges! 😛 #Sour_Grapes
Akhil
Grt on man..:)
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Akhil, thank you! 🙂
Nitin
well written, and make point 4 certified. I am living in a 2 room set. An all I have is bed,matress, bisleri, clothes AND laptop, smartphone and wifi. I was happy till now but now that you have mentioned it, it looks like my life sucks.
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Nitin, thank you for the compliment.
Even i am the same situation, a laptop smartphone wifi and a room where no one else comes and goes! It is a fact that most of us spend more time on gadgets ! isnt it??
You were happy till now, and you should be happy further too! 🙂 This was more of a sarcastic remark made to spread a bit of humor! 🙂
Gargi
superb….the good old memories woke up once again…
Those were the days when classrooms with oh-so-boring teachers were just the ‘adda-spots’ and labs and those bulky machines especially in mechanical lab were just another piece of metal.
“why engineering”? 2 years after I got my degree, I can’t figure out the reason behnd this ‘WHY’. so myescape is ‘Dad wanted it’ which actually works when said with a puppy-like face and ‘free-wi-fi’….it is a bliss!
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Gargi., thank you. i can very well understand how you feel after reading this. 🙂
I being an engineering student, am going through all this in my college days now. And it seems not much has changed even today. 😛
And i still am searching an answer for a Why!! Hopefully i will find it within an year i still have at college!
Gargi
I hope you find answer to this most important question…
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Gargi …Yes! I guess i have one! And even though i landed up here by accident, now i feel all this was for the better if not good! 🙂
Life has something in stock for everybody!! eventually you end up finding your own space to grow and nurture yourself.
Vasim
Awesome. I absolutely loved “Any question can be answered” “free wifi” and others…!!!
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Vasim , thank you. Glad you liked it.
rivaldo
I don’t agree with the point no. 1. “Technical knowledge and practical experience are just a mirage that he makes up to attract the other set of population.”
A person who didn’t take his engineering studies seriously can only make such a statement. I gained both technical knowledge and practical experience in addition to the fun during my engineering.
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Rivaldo, i completely respect what you say. In fact i know there are a good number of guys who learn and have fun also because they can connect with the subjects.
But , I used it just to refer to the large number of students who actually take up engineering out of peer pressure, or parental pressure, and end up not being interested in it, and just passing out of compulsion and fear ; No matter how seriously they take it they dont seem to develop a liking towards it or a passion, I happen to be one of them. That’s all. And i can see it all around me.
And more or less, i used that phrase just to get in a bit of humor and sarcasm. Not intended for any irresponsible statement. I hope you understand.
Vaishak Narayanan
Well written! 🙂
Could connect to each and everything being in an engineering college! and good use of sarcasm and humor.
Looking forward for more articles from you.
Deepak Venkateswaran
Thank you Vaishak! 🙂
Deepak Venkateswaran
Yes! I guess i have one! And even though i landed up here by accident, now i feel all this was for the better if not good! 🙂
Life has something in stock for everybody!! eventually you end up finding your own space to grow and nurture yourself.
Nicky Collins
Interesting article! Being a prospective law student, I wasn’t very happy about lawyers being the subject of most jokes. Nice to know that engineers are targeted once in a while too 😛 ( no offence intended…)
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Nicky.. Well this article itself comes from an engineering student!! 😛
And engineers are masters of creating jokes about themselves!
Arpit Tantia
Well i don’t just feel it…………….I LIVE IT!!!!!
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Arpit… Same here!! 😀
Even i am experiencing all these first hand!! 😛
Libin Ashok
The most important invention/machine for an engineering student is XEROX MACHINE!!!! 😊
Deepak Venkateswaran
@Libin… its 21st century now!!
Its all the era of whatsapp and facebook!! Assignments are better shared on whatsapp nowadays.. 😛
Shivangi Singh
I agree ! 🙂