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Dear All, A Feminist Is NOT Against Men: This Is What A Feminist Actually Is
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By Ojaswini Srivastava:
A hotly debated term in today’s India is ‘a feminist’. Sadly, What is a feminist? Who is a feminist? are the two fundamental questions which people are not taking very seriously.
I consider myself one of them and hence speak on their behalf here.
The first fact clearing required to establish feminism in our country is for people to understand what it is all about since this concept I see is highly misunderstood. Feminists are not people against men, they are against male chauvinism, patriarchy, gender inequality and gender favouritism. Not against men. Every man is invited to be a part of feminism. Carrying this argument forward, let me explain, we are not a herd of men and women against men, but a union of men and women for equality. There is a thin line here, please understand, dear men, we are not taking away anything from you, but only trying to establish equal human rights. We slowly can see how the situations are changing for the better, some instances being – we lately had a woman president in the country, the literacy rate of women has increased than the last decade, widow remarriages are freely taking place and dowry system is revolted against. These pleasant changes show how we are slowly moving to a bright future. (note that I am not forgetting the high number of rapes and sexual assaults on women of our country, it is a crucial part of the feminist struggle). Our fight is not against you men, it is for the humans. I request all those (men and women) not associated with feminism to try and understand what feminism is all about. We are not fighting against men. Our fight is for humanity.
If I ask, do you believe in god? 80% will say yes, 10% will be atheists, and 10% agnostics like me. But if I ask, should all homo sapiens be equals? It has to be a 100% yes since, there can’t be any reasonable theory to deny it. That is what feminists stand for. They are struggling for the world to accept and honour each human as an equal and not let the labels of man and woman drift them apart. In the name of feminism, there are notions being spread like, man is a part of woman, male is a part of female, he is a part of she. But that is all misleading. It is mere wordplay. (This is something like, the word God, seen the other way is Dog. Really does that make sense? It is just wordplay, one baseless argument to put in any anti-atheist debate. Isn’t it?)
Real feminist are not those who wish to identify women above men. The real ones are them who remain free of the view that a man is part of a woman, he should be grateful to her to give him birth, he can’t exist without her and so on. Excuse me because a man’s sperm is inevitably required to reproduce just like a woman requires carrying the child for nine months in her womb. Not digressing too much, the point I wish to make is that all human beings are equal, be it a man or a woman. We have been born in this world to co- exist. So, dependence is natural and essential. Talking of dependence, what are, say, tigers and elephants? Animals … must be your answer, think again. Don’t they differ greatly in habits, origin and character? But they are considered to be equally fit to live in zoos, forests and sanctuaries with equal access to all available resources, and they live like that. Who gave them this understanding of coexistence? Isn’t it we humans who supposedly are the only rational beings? Then why do we not have such an understating among ourselves?
I agree my argument here is absurd and perhaps insignificant. I lack vocabulary to reason why men and women must be equal. Since I too sincerely believe in this humane concept, I fail to understand and reason why those who don’t believe, don’t believe. My point is, a feminist works to get woman equal social, moral, political, economic and religious rights, and it is absolutely rational. We are equal human beings, and must be treated
equally. That is all on a feminist’s list of agendas. We wish for equal recognition, equal rights and equal status. Why do we even need to fight for it? This is the question. Ask yourself, why because you are a man and I a woman makes it a rule that you should be superior and I the inferior. Aren’t we equal in every other way? Other than bodily form, we are exactly the same. We are all children of god, we are all human beings, we are all mortal, we all have five senses, we all live on earth and we all have the same fundamental requirements of existence.
Conclusively, I will remind you again that a feminist is not against men. We never wish to ask you to give up any of your rights. Our endeavour is to defend and define equal rights for woman. If we question any rights that you have, it isn’t because we want you to give them up. It is because we seek to get them too. We need equal human rights. Our society must not be the one where there are any human rights misplaced in the form of male privileges. I leave you hear with this food for thought, ponder over it, and consider being a part of our movement for humanity.
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Tarangini Kumar
Hi there!
I believe in the ‘superiority’ of women over men . Pls put in a line or two to reach out to those who are from my school of thought, as well ! thanks . Article made for a pleasant read 🙂
Ojaswini Srivastava
Thank you for the appreciation .. 🙂 i respect your opinion … though cant put it
Anon
Yes, thats how feminism should be but sadly thats not the case. Nowadays feminism means ‘female superiority’. Look at the laws relating to women Dowry Prohibition Act, Sati Prevention Act burden on proof is on accused going against tenet of criminal justice system. The recent Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill was criticized by prominent feminist on the ground that it has a clause for punishing a woman who files a false complaint stating that it shows woman as ‘potential liers’ (The bill states that mere failure to establish complaint doesn’t make it a false complaint but rather malafide intention on part of woman needs to be shown).
Really majority of cases filed under Section 498A are false then whats the problem if legislature is doing something to prevent misuse of the act by inserting a remedy within the act itself. Sadly, many feminist ( Many not all) live in a disillusioned world where men are animals and need to be tamed by passing stringent laws and rather than trying to achieve equality they want to implement something which women themselves are fighting against i.e. inequality by ‘female superiority’. Comment posted below is an example of that and till the time it happens so people would hate feminism and its propagators.
Ojaswini Srivastava
thing will change .. for sure .. 🙂 and thakyou for reading ..
Prashant Kaushik
I remember as a kid in middle school, when I was ridiculed by my friends for helping a girl in my class by sharing my notes with her, I came back home and asked my mom if I was wrong. She gave me the most beautiful talisman, which I have preserved with me till date – “You shouldn’t help someone just because someone is a girl or because someone is a boy. You can help that girl if you are sure that If a boy was in her place, you would have helped him exactly the same way”.
So even today, dear girls, no special favor to you just because you are a female(except the rare and really needy one), Similarly, I would never let a girl feel at a disadvantage just because of being a girl.
I don’t know how many girls would feel happy about a view like this. If you do, and even if you a feminist, than I would endorse all what you said..
Ojaswini Srivastava
great to hear those words, thankyou for your time 🙂
Kanwal
Somebody needed to write that because of the misconceptions associated with the word. Good work.
Karthikathika Nair
Nice writing ojaswini
This is what I want to explain as well. I am tired of being called a misandrists or a female chauvinist.
Amresh
This article really very much far away from the facts!! Dowry harassment cases not only killing the indian families, its pushing the judiciary as the fa!ke organisation. More over corruption in the judiciary is spicing it up.
In ideal situation dowry harassment cases run 5 to 10 year. You marry ‘on and average’ age of 30 to 35. Once the case is logged u(husband) lose your job. All your saving starts eating by your lawyers and travel. You loose your health. By the time your case is disposed your youth is over. No energy to work even. You might have enjoyed the conjugal life from (on n avg) 0 month to 3 year. And this feminist destroyed you from Top to bottom.
16 year of regorious study, 5 year of pain full struggle for the job. All are spited off by your judiciary/gov. Is this you call the justice?
Check the Lenin’s NEP and indian govt’s NEP(gr8 joke…… Hahahahahaha). Women, women, women. As of all the man’s are the garbage of the nation.
All women policies are the bitter fake. No hope of growth for women individual.
We have the unmarried sister. Where is the growth policies for them? Is the mid-day-meal and cycle/laptops are making her grow?
Awake, awake, awake. Otherwise, this democratic goons are going to wipe of you!!!
Make the noise enough!! Make the law maker panic.
Karthika
By trying to point out the sexism in this article, you have made the biggest sexist deal of all time.
You know what fine. No more dowry Laws, no more rape laws. For the sake of Indian family let people ask people mercilessly ask for blood & sweat of the girl’s parents. Let future parents abort & kill the young infants & fetus in the name of discrimination. If the number of women per men go down we will traffic women from other states &.force her to pay dowry & to sort the female child.
Let the memories of the genuine victims & unborn females go down for the sake of saving the traditions even if it is discouraging women to stand for EQUALITY & nothing more.
Amresh
Ur comment is purely selfish and just increase the gap between man and women. You should comment something to patch such gap…. Which will show that how brilliant you are. I agree all those issue mentioned exist in the society. But the non bailable warrant of 498a has resolved the dowry demand? No no no…. Real answer is very much complicated and can not be answered in this box. There are numerous scenario which need to deal with essentially. Though lot of women protection has come. Day by day all issue are just increasing… Why why why…
All these question i have answered in my 1st comment.
But, finally, I would say is that, 498a saved broadly the adulterous women and the women had the affaire and married against her wishes. Because, post creation of 498a, all other issue of the couple are patched by mediation with in the family circle itself. But, adultery and affaire create the situation like Do Or Die.
Dear Women, don’t be selfish, don’t be political. You are the foundation of the family and society. Do not generalise the man. You should differentiate god and bad people, Not the man and women. Law is required to recognise the good man + good women and bad man+bad women. Nation need the judicial reform, police reform, political reform etc.
Karthika
With all due sir, “Women, women, women. As of all the man’s are the garbage of the nation.
All women policies are the bitter fake. No hope of growth for women individual.” wasn’t that also selfish? or was the purpose to bridge the gap between man and woman?
Section 498A is useless in many ways, because still dowry system is practiced. My best friend for example was pressurized a lot by her in laws. But since women are taking advantage of this, the genuine victims are still suffering.
Dear Women, don’t be selfish, don’t be political. You are the foundation of the family and society. Do not generalise the man. You should differentiate god and bad people, Not the man and women. Law is required to recognise the good man + good women and bad man+bad women. Nation need the judicial reform, police reform, political reform etc
We are not selfish, at least I’m not. If you got that idea then I want to apologise sir, I don’t want to disrupt any attempt to attain full equality between man and woman. Where I come from feminists have the policies,
1. There are only two types of people good and bad. Bother the gender can be included in those categories.
2. Feminists don’t want any kind of partiality especially if it is affecting gender equality. Society should neither be patriarchy nor matriarchy.
3. We simply want to live in a world where there is no need for any protection. And that there is harmony and these feminists and MRAs don’t have to fight with each other like Indo-pak war.
There are plenty of reasons why we still need feminism AKA attempts to gain full equality. If any woman calls herself a man hater then she is NOT a feminist but a man hater as simple as that.
Still if you think I am being selfish sir, then I am very sorry.
Amresh
Ab tu aa gai line pe. This is what required for the nation and we all victim wants to listen from you. But, unluckily all these words are missing in the core article. Any way, finally, you accepted the bitter fact of the current women’s law, current status of the women and the bitter acting status of law make and beurocrats. Keep it up.
Teja
It is a pity that you have repeat this point over and over again to get it into people’s heads. However there is definitely a need for it.
In fact the word “feminism” is misleading because if you were fighting for equality you would probably call that “Equalism” or something of the sort. However people should realize that circumstances warrant movements. And in today’s world where gender balances are tilted, it looks like bringing about an equilibrium will have to start with a backward tilt until we see things stabilizing.