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The 8 Greatest Fail Moments In Dhoom 3
More from Deepa Kumar
By Deepa Kumar And Saanya Gulati:
You know how every now and then you come across a movie so lousy that you can almost take humour in it? Well, Dhoom 3 takes this to the next level. Not only does it create its own fusion genre of action-comedy-romance-drama-thriller, but it even tests the limits of your emotions. There are moments you’re simply not sure whether you should laugh, cry or be terrified. Doom, it is!
On that note, we bring you the 8 greatest fail moments in Dhoom 3.
Warning: Spoilers ahead.
8. The Great Indian Circus
Much of the movie is set in Chicago’s very own “The Great Indian Circus.” But neither the scriptwriters, nor a soul in Chicago, seem to know what a circus constitutes of.
In this circus, the main trick is one that makes people disappear and re-appear. Yes, we thought that was supposed to be a magic show too. But hey, who better than us Indians to redefine the concept of a circus: throw in Alia (Katrina Kaif) – acrobat-striptease-pole dancer, and you have almost all the elements of a circus! Minus the clowns and animals. FTW, yo.
7. Katrina ‘Kamli’ Kaif
Enter the ‘Asian Girl who can sing & dance like Liquid Electricity’ — She cycles & barges into a circus audition, the lead of which is actually a magician and guess what she does to be selected as his partner? A strip tease!! Woot.
Of course she knows the lyrics to a romantic-seductive-dance-y song by heart and of course there’s some godly guy who’s dropping the beat from somewhere, but holy moly, our lady here is dropping clothes — layer by layer — as she jumps around poles and chairs and walls to finally go from a pair of tomboyish dungarees down to a bikini with her longer-than-Aamir leg landing on him!
Did we say it was an audition for a Circus? Oh, well.
6. The invincible Indian thief
Crisis situation: Your bank, the Western Bank of Chicago (mind you) is robbed and the thief, in addition to miraculously having money fly out of the building’s windows (classy), leaves behind a message in Hindi!
Solution: You fly in Indian cops! The logic is either ‘it takes an Indian cop to catch the Indian thief,’ or this simply isn’t a situation the Americans can handle on their own. This clearly supersedes the logic of finding an Indian living in Chicago, or any other American city, to decode the message. Or using Google Translate.
So voila, it’s the Jai-Ali duo at this point — completely justifiable, because they must machao the dhoom.
Also, if you’re wondering what the oh-so-mysterious message is, it’s “Bank ki aisi ki taisi.” Aamir keeping it classy.
5. Of cop romance at the Criminal Conferences
When Jai and Ali reach Chicago, with Victoria, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde cop who comes to greet them at the airport, it is of course necessary to stir up some cop-on-cop action. While Ali is too star struck to even speak, it’s pretty boy Jai who strikes up the conversation. But this isn’t no regular flirting.
Boy cop: “Hey, I think we’ve met before…”
Girl cop: “Wasn’t it at the Annual Criminal Conference?” (convenient!)
Boy cop: “Right, that was it!”
Girl cop: “It was so boring! Who wants to sit and talk about criminals the whole day?” (well… thank god you don’t do that for a living!)
Because it would be unethical for two cops to flirt like regular individuals?
4. Oh Victaaria!
When Jai and Ali (as usual) fail to catch the bad guys, and are thrown off the case, one suddenly finds that Victoria — or Victaaria in the words of Ali – the hot local Chicago cop quits her official job and joins the duo! That too, to be Jai’s assistant — digging up the dirt on the criminals. You know its true lou when one gives up a job (and dignity apparently!) to join the hapless duo of former cops — these conferences really are criminal.
3. The ‘Transformer’ Bike!
Whoever said Dhoom 3 was about heroes & anti-heroes definitely missed out on the superhero: None other than the BMW bike that Aamir Khan pimps around through the streets of Chicago!
Never have we ever seen a bike that has foldable handles — you know the handles that fold themselves in when there’s need to skid through between cop cars. Besides, you also don’t need to learn swimming anymore because this bike comes with an in-built submarine!! Woohoo!
However, the cake-taking feature of this Bike is its ability to become a conjoined twin with another of its kind, handles, silencers et al!
Clearly, the Bat Mobile is no longer cool for school.
2. The infallible Auto-rickshaw
When so much credit is given to the German Bike, one can’t just miss out on the Indian great — the autorickshaw — Abhishek Bachchan’s ride in a Mumbai suburban slum area. Did you know our very own auto-rickshaws have enough horsepower to break through brick walls of pakka houses, pivot on the front tyre to slap all the goons & then come down a hillock in Mumbai, roof by roof?
No? It’s alright. Neither did they.
P.S. We wonder why these auto wallahs don’t get us to the station in time for our locals, then. Hmm.
1. The Sherlock Moment!
Teacher in school: What do you a call the bad person who steals your belongings?
Students: A thief.
But but but, neither did Mr. Anderson (the owner of the ill-fated bank) nor did Victoria, the awesomesauce cop ever attend school! We’re pretty sure neither did the dialogue writer. How do we know that?
Exhibit A:
Bank owner: “I want to know who robbed us. Do you have any leads?”
Cop Victoria: “No, Sir. All we know is it was a thief.”
If the aim was to have us as dumbstruck as the bank owner, then this dialogue definitely hit bull’s eye.
So, we spent time and money to watch Dhoom 3, and more time and time to write this post. But as responsible citizens of the society, we felt it was our duty to do so, to save you from the ordeal that we went through.
You can thank us later.
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krishnanena
To all those who only wanted to eat in KFC, wear only D&G,
In my 6 months’ time in Chennai, I learnt that the most helping, honest and faithful people are those who are poor. On the other hand, the most selfish, cheating and trustless, where those who are mostly tagged with an IT/other company’s Id cards. Ugly intentions behind, colorful dresses… Stinking motives behind fragrant deodorants… I never ever wanted to be lost in this whole ordinary crowd who after all work as slaves for money yet treat some people indifferently after they come out of their slave-palace called cubicle… The truth is though some girls wear high heels, in no way their lives are a step higher than other people; though many boys wear costliest watches, glamorous sunglasses and flip a gadget across their fingers, it doesn’t mean that their lives are far better, inside is fully gutter and its totally ordinary like others. If you are rich you keep your money, we don’t need it… If you are beautiful, you better keep it with yourself but don’t ever think in your mind that your life is far blessed than those who lack it, for you don’t have many other things those which others have. Touch your heart and say, do you really have time to spend for your loved ones who cares you? NO. Do you ever think of the beautiful moments you spent in your college and school life? Yes maybe rarely. Wake up sweet-hearts, we are just like other humans and we too are going to die one day, so please treat everyone equally and far most, breathe, live before you work and achieve. Yeah, I hate everyone who wear an ID card and go and rot in some company just for the sake of money and false stature. There is nothing to be proud of in the job you do if you don’t ever want to create a masterpiece in it. If you settle too much time here without knowing your purpose then after some days you will be like the unwanted dusts settled on an old bureau. Life is meant to be something, at last there should be something worthy enough you created and not something you always yielded in. I hate myself when I realize I have slowly becoming one like these spine less people, who have nothing but money and other physical needs as their cruel intentions. What I am afraid is like some other fighters I would also fight for someday and finally accept this corporate life as my fate. But I know I wouldn’t give in…
p.s. Sorry for stripping all your pride like these and opening you up straight to the light, to bare the horrible truth…
Jeeka Krishna
relax guys …we all know that deepa kumar and sanya gulati both have made better movies… i will ask all of you to watch their own creative work.(flawless).
Sone Ki Chidiya
The problem with YRF is that they give nothing to the industry now. Neither good movies, nor intelligent stories, but they are successful in making a good amount of money for themselves. The studio and the production house is not what is used to be once and coming from the director of Tashan, Dhoom 3’s disastrous story is no surprise. The auto rickshaw just makes it worse. Pathetic actually.
Nayak
Mr X & Y (author of this article) ,this should not be the content or topic for Youth Ki Awaaz.
Monika
All I can say is that Amir was a big FAIL… he tried to tap dance he tried to look intense I expected better things from him :-/