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We Love Sex But We Frown At Those Who Mention It: Ignoring This Won”t Help Anyone

By Sahil Chatta: 

We are free people living in a free society. We preach about truthfulness yet find it impractical to use it, we run after money and yet call it a vice. We teach our children to be honest yet bribe the traffic cop when we break a rule. Free or not, we are funny people living in funny times. Yet among all the contradictions that we live in, the poor thing that tops the list is sex. It is everywhere- in newspapers, on TV, especially on the internet, gladly in the bedrooms, sadly in our parliament. We are Indians and it isn’t without any reason that we number more than a billion. We love sex and we frown at those who mention it. It is on our mind and never on our mouth. You say it in public and you are sure to raise eyebrows.


Contrary to the current scheme of things, India wasn’t actually what one could describe as a conservative nation. It is impossible to believe that we wrote Kamasutra and carved out ‘Khajuraho’ at a time when sex was considered to be filthy and ungodly. We were more cultured back then and even then so much sex could fit into the box of our morality.

We didn’t have issues back then in accepting the fact that the union of male and female is divine and a source of all life as represented for instance by a Yoni and Lingam. Closer to our timeline, it still is the most sought after yet ill perceived commodity. We don’t talk about sex because the society does not permit it. Pre-marital sex is considered to be a sin and a girl’s character still stands on her virginity. It is ironic that we all brag about having watched movies like Titanic and Gone with the wind and still call them shameless when two lovers hold hands in public or express their affection through a little peck.

But then again we are funny people, living in a funny world. India has one of the highest numbers of prostitutes in the world and they are certainly not out of business. We claim to respect women and yet dance to the tunes of ‘Fevicol se’ and remember ‘Yo Yo Honey Singh’ by his (in) famous song. We are pleased when we see that Sunny Leone has been roped in for a Bollywood movie and stack on top of it our claim of being an open society and yet deliberately ignore the fact it wasn’t her acting skills that got her that role. Sex sells, even though in the dark. Some would argue that immoral or not, why should we talk about sex, isn’t it best for the sake of decency if it stays in our bedrooms only?

Well, for one we already have a dubious reputation of being a country of rapists and not talking about sex won’t change that. Secondly, when your child grows up wouldn’t it be better for him or her to know about it, amidst all the changes happening in his or her body, from you rather than from an adult website? Nowadays when information, especially of the wrong kind is available with just a mouse click, wouldn’t it make your child vulnerable if you don’t guide him/her through it?

If you still aren’t convinced then there are about 5 million people living with AIDS in the country who would tell you how a condom can save your life. They know it, you know it but is everyone else too, especially our young ones, as aware as we are? Awareness can surely mean the world in such situations and it comes from talking.

The next time you hear about sex, don’t giggle, don’t frown, and don’t hesitate to speak up. Sex isn’t a sin but hypocrisy is. Having said that I would add that there is a thin line between being informed and being a pervert and unless you are already one it wouldn’t be too hard to see it.

Photo Credit: je@n via Compfight cc

You must be to comment.
  1. manika

    point very well put up! a good argumantative n structured write up!

    1. Sahil Chatta

      Thank you.

  2. Suro

    You should also mention that so many people don’t buy condoms because they’re too embarrassed to go to a bloody drug store… Seriously… what the hell!

    1. Sahil Chatta

      Yeah. Call it a taboo or lack of awareness but this is a serious issue.

  3. Sone Ki Chidiya

    The problem is how we look at Sex. Now take this example, love making scenes in movies are not depicted as love making scenes but they are portrayed as sensationalized pieces of visual information and are also promoted aggressively for commercial outputs. India is not afraid to talk about sex but it’s afraid to look at sex the way it is depicted today. I strongly support Sex education and counselling at a young age for all the students but for that we first need to change our own approach to sex.
    Well written!

    1. Sahil Chatta

      That’s completely true and our approach to sex will change only if we stop making an issue out of everything that relates to it. Its ironical that something that gives life is wrapped up in dogmas to preserve our ‘morality’! Sex education can surely help. That is how the societies change, by propagating changes through individuals.

  4. sneha

    The article covers a whole lot of aspects and is well structured. Your work is appreciated.

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