By Shivangi Adani:
Sudden events in life, no matter how small they might be, change us in some way or the other. It may be a loss of a loved one, failed tests, rejection or it may even be seeing your friend suffer. Something similar happened with me a few days back and somehow it has left me scared. My friend was hospitalized.
Why? Because of stress.
Why was he stressed? Because he did not score well in an important test.
Yes, bad performance left him breathless and in a paralyzed state. It happened right in front of my eyes. A minute back he was smiling and laughing and the next minute, he is lying on the footpath in that condition. For a second, I was clueless and paranoid seeing a friend who always made us laugh, in that condition. Seeing him in that condition, I wanted to cry, but I did not. Within 5-10 minutes of chaos, he was hospitalized. I was questioned about his life.
Was anything disturbing him? Was there anybody or anything that was affecting him? The only thing I knew about him was his bad performance in a test. Yes, being one of his closest friends that’s all I knew. He wasn’t serious and was discharged in an hour, but this incident leaves me wondering about many things in life.
1. Talking about your difficulties – Very few people talk about what they feel. Very few people let someone in. Talking about emotions reduces stress to a great level. He never did that. At that moment, I felt like a horrible friend who did not know what my friend was going through. We need to care for and trust each other more in this world. How will someone deal with such high stress levels without some love, understanding and care?
2. Society – According to me, bad scores on a test affected him in this manner only because of Â the “Log Kya Kahenge?” factor.Â Yes, what the society thinks play a very big role in the life of a common youth. We’re all scared of the opinions of the society. We’re all scared of not being accepted in the society. The pressure to do well in life kills each of us slowly everyday. Marks, money and status define us more than what we actually are. Have love, friendship, happiness, family and most importantly how satisfied you are, lost their true meaning in today’s world? Is the society so judgmental that bad scores on a test lead to such high stress levels?
In this race of life, all of us are scared of being happy for ourselves and more worried whether the society will accept our kind of happiness.Â I wonder if this is ever going to change. I wonder if the worldly pressures will stop killing the youth. I wonder if everybody is ever going to be fearless. I wonder if the society will ever let us live without being scared.
3. The mentality our society has when it comes to visiting a psychologist, baffles me. If you say you are going to a psychologist, people will look at you in disgust. You are by default a mentally disturbed person or a lunatic if you visit a psychologist.
From personal experience, I can say that people laugh at you when you tell then you’re taking mind therapy. This mentality needs to change. Taking therapy and visiting a psychologist does not mean you are mad. It is a brave step to giving your problems and yourself another chance. I believe that therapy and visiting psychologists can help decrease stress levels and the tremendous problems caused because of stress if only this stereotypical mentality changes.
Stress is a major problem today and no one should take it lightly. Talk about your problems, go consult a psychologist, meditate or do whatever it takes to avoid stress but most of all, live your life based on your opinions, not the society’s.
Kill the fear that you have inside.