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All You Beautiful Ones, I Hope You Would Think Twice Before Calling Me ‘Ugly’. Sincerely, A Moth

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By Trippayar Sahasranaman Priyaa:

We all belong to the ones born to fly; the only difference was that the larvae of my mother grew into a moth while the ones of others fluttered around as vibrant, colorful butterflies. It’s easy to say that we are all of the same species yet my experiences taught me differently, they make me darker and heavier than what I actually am. My reflection is my worst nightmare; my shape and color are my worst foes, and I bet that they are to every girl of my kind.

body image Issues

I can hardly believe the inner beauty paradigm. My life is more than anecdotal proof to the fact that men love women who are beautiful. The beautiful ones are bestowed with a lovely gift from heaven, in their world the sun always shines and nobody, but I, knows how it feels to be sought after and to be looked at with admiration. When I strut by the streets, either eyes fail to catch me or they look at me with a streak of sarcasm in them. There have been many times when people use my name when they describe despicable and “ugly”. And even in class, a few guys refuse to sit next to me or pair up with me during lab. (They remember me when they need my notes though!). So, from my life I have understood that ugliness is a social stigma like homosexuality, I have to either live with it or have a nip tuck job.

There was a time when I had a man by my side; he was so perfect that his hands wouldn’t reach each other when he encircled his arms around my waist. The last time I saw him, he looked into my eyes and told me, “You are beautiful.” My eyes grew watery and my hands pushed his chest away. The world had made me think something different. Either it would only take time for him to recover from his blindness or I didn’t want to be lied to.

This is my world and it is made of beautiful butterflies who cry over a messy hair day or a gain of a few kilograms. Each time I hear their qualms, I can’t stop myself from thinking that I could spend my entire life enumerating what should be changed in me. Our standards of beauty have made the butterflies go on a starvation (called diet) while we, the moths, gorge on depression. Some of those colorful ones derive satisfaction by looking down upon us, the less colorful ones.

Who is to blame? Is it God who created us with so much of disparity? Or is it the media that photoshops the common women to make them look wonderfully “normal”, or is it the parents who fail to teach their children manners, or is it the man who invented the mirror? But who actually bothers, when there are so many larger problems to care about? When all my pressure mounts up, I might just jump off a bridge and the world would call me a “depressed for nothing” creature.

But I do not want to do so; hence I write this epistle to all you beautiful ones. I guess, the next time you would think about me twice, if not before, at least after calling a moth “ugly” or cribbing about your little imperfections,”

Yours lovingly,
A moth.

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  1. John A Raju

    well written 🙂

  2. yetanothermoth

    This article is unbelievably amazing. The idea is really good- the concept it revolves around is sensitive and easily related to by many. And in a very sad way, it could help a lot of butterflies out there to understand us; the moths.

  3. Monika

    Well though I do agree that the first impression that people generally form is because of how a person appears, but what I’ve found truly around me that after a time one grows so fond of a person (friend, sibling or just anyone around us) that people actually don’t care how there loved ones look like… the exterior dilutes. I don’t deny though that there is this category of people who do judge others by how they look, they call me a midget, but who really wants them around us right? 🙂

  4. Pallavi

    hey…don’t be depressed though i don’t know wt you have gone through. these butterflies you mentioned can’t be as good as you in another area (studies let’s say) and have to make you feel low just to make themselves feel’s this human tendency. most of us are criticized at some point about how we look. Surround yourself with people who like you as a person, as a friend. and as per guys giving attention to the butterflies..don’t we know how serious such relationships are! and you are going to meet your guy if you are not going to fall only for the tall dark handsome one.

  5. Arya

    Do not put too much value into what people think of you. Back in school rumours about me used to fly left, right and center but I was never really bothered. A section of the guys felt that I was more suited to be guy than a girl (and this is putting it mildly) and even though I look nothing like man. I have extremely feminine features and looks but because I was inaccessible and almost impossible to flirt with they would find ways to insult me and pull me down. Obviously they would so only at my back and when they thought I was out of hearing distance. One time I came to know that they thought I had no sexuality. It hurt a little for a like a few seconds and then I was back to normal.

    Most guys (and girls) around you who do not give you the respect you deserve do not deserve even five minutes of your thoughts. The world is too big, there are many people ought there and much more sensible, sensitive and caring than those you find yourself around right now. Do not let these depressing thoughts pull you down.

    You know you are beautiful and that this is all what matters. Cheers to yourself, cheers to life!

  6. Jagrat

    I think it is the society,including me, which have these lure for beautiful things , in my case, a beautiful girl. For me(or any other guy of my age) a “beautiful girl” is someone who is fair, she is allowed to have wheatish complextion but Sir, NO BLACK (hence I prove my point of India being a racist country 🙂 ), so well, someone who is well dressed, her hairs should perfect and her waist should be beyond PERFECTION.
    What I feel is that the “butterflies” do get noticed first , actually every time but SHOULD YOU REALLY CARE?? Trust me,I’m a gone case (far far far away from the MOTH), but I don’t give a shit while I’m walking in the streets. I think I am blessed that no one notices me, I can do any shit I want 🙂 .

    At the same time what I have written is very easy to talk about or give lectures, your article is more, what should I say….REAL!! and this is how this is how the media,the public, the boys, the men, the women live around. But I still beleive at the end of the day it’s you and only you,so all the beautiful girls/guys all you have to do is believe in yourself and let the world rot in hell.

    P.S – ” Is it a man who invented the mirror?” can you give a small explanation of this line, I loved it .

  7. Yadhu

    Wonderful article Priya….Feeling proud of you!!!!

  8. Ashish

    Nice one but i think ppl have other aspects as well which make them feel beneath..!! 🙂

  9. artemis1991

    beautiful piece. Subtly touching upon a problem that is not seen as one.

  10. Amritt Rukhaiyaar

    you are the most beautiful person I have ever came across… yes I am talking to you… the one who wrote this… every letter, every word… you pour beauty with your writings… be thankful to god that he made you like this… he gave you a clarity of thoughts 🙂

  11. Ishan

    One must start realizing the beauty within,than to seek it with out.

    When one starts giving importance to what someone else feels about, he is bound to suffer.

    It is the beauty of mindfulness, knowledge and liberation which only matters.

  12. Ruman

    Well for all you people I have an info. Priyaa is extremely beautiful girl and I know her personally. The beauty of this article is she understands the pain of the people who are mocked upon day in and day out. There is no humanity if you cannot feel the pain of others and this makes you even more beautiful. Everyone grows to become ugly but few grow old and become graceful. M proud of you and all the people below who I am sure are more human than lot of us. Awesome piece of writing Priyaa.

  13. underconfident

    i think wot u hv writtn cn b rltd to by most of us for we all do go through sum or the othr kind of crticism at one pt. Of time.. Thou i am not ugly, i do have good features but people always compare me with my elder sister who is far more prettier than me.. Think about it.. Being compared with your own sister evrytime ! I am not jealous of her or have any grudge against her bt the comparison had made me feel so low about myself that now i have lost confidence.. Evrytime i see a tiptop girl i feel complex.. But i think evryone gets their share of love for there isthis guy in my life who loves me like hell and evrytime i do something good he praises me in such a way that i fl good about myself. But yeah i cant ignore the feeling i get standing next to my sister in front of those people who refuseto see my merits over my sisters beauty !

  14. Saloni

    Amazingly written. I can actually relate with each and every word of this article. But as they say we are unique in our own ways. Getting busy id the only medicine for overcoming this problem. I have been trying it since I realized that I belong to the community of moths. It works!

  15. Neelanjana

    A lot of people over here have said that physical appearance shouldn’t be given so much to and it’s the personality that matters and blah blah blah… But this is India. Everybody wants to be fair, have the “perfect” features and figure and what not. Say all you want, but it’s the bitter truth.

    Secondly, who gets to decide what beauty really is? <— to this woman, you, Priyaa, would be the butterfly who's cribbing about little imperfections.

    I'm not saying that this isn't a good article. It definitely is. It's VERY well written. But I think that you need to rethink- what IS beauty?

  16. A butterfly

    I am what u will call ‘a butterfly’ and I understand where you are coming from. Obsession with beauty is not just an Indian thing rather it is a global one. Obsession with fairness can be said to be an Indian thing however, there are lot of other factors like body shape and face that are emphasized on both in India and the world alike. And it is a sad reality. The world always judges you, if not on beauty then on your monetary status or on your social status. We can only try not to get caught up rather focus on strengthening our qualities and talents and using them to overpower our weaknesses.

  17. A butterfly

    However, the one thing I do not understand is why you have only addressed the ‘beautiful ones’ to not call you ulgly, in the title. The ugly and the average ones can also call you ugly and not to mention the men also can. So why limit the title to only the beautiful ones?

  18. A Proud Moth

    Thanks Priyaa. Its something I can relate to completely, every single word was like mold of my life. There was a time I felt the same way I wanted to share my my outlook. A good life and education might not have made me a butterfly but has certainly quenched any want of being that. I realize that looks, be mine or a butterfly’s, does not make one’s life simple and just the way people called me a “moth, an ugly person” they called butterflies “beautiful, and bimbo”. I wish we would stop putting people in boxes, stop putting labels on them, because what I look like is not who I am. I personally dont blame either butterflies or moths for their miseries but the “BULLIES” who feel the need to make another feel inadequate. I sometimes wish I had the courage as a kid to stand up to them and not let them have me look at myself with questionable eyes.
    Thanks again for sharing that, some lines did bring tears to my eyes 🙂 and it takes a lot to move me.
    Keep sharing !!

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