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Forced Intercourse In Marriage Not Rape, Says Delhi Court: How Low Can We Stoop?

More from Anshul Tewari

By Anshul Tewari:

Under the Indian law, marital rape is not a crime. The implications of this regressive law were seen yet again when a Delhi court acquitted a man accused of raping his wife, and stated that forced intercourse with a woman does not amount to rape if she is married to the accused.

“The parties being husband and wife, the sexual intercourse between the two does not come within the ambit of the offence of rape, even if the same was against the will and consent of the victim,” Additional Sessions Judge Virender Bhat said while acquitting Vikash.

[blockquote source=”DNA India”]According to the prosecution, the wife claimed Vikash sedated her and took her to the office of the Registrar of Marriages at Ghaziabad in an intoxicated state. He got the marriage documents signed by her March 4, 2013. Later, Vikash raped her and then abandoned her, it said.

The woman filed a complaint at the Baba Haridas Nagar police station in southwest Delhi in October 2013. “Thus the prosecutrix (the wife) and the accused (Vikash) being legally wedded husband and wife, the prosecutrix being major, the sexual intercourse between the two, even if forcible, is not rape and no culpability can be fastened upon the accused,” the court said in the order delivered May 7. (source)[/blockquote]
India stands in-line with a handful of countries, including China, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia when it comes to the law around marital rape.

After the infamous Delhi gang-rape in 2012, the Verma Committee, a three-member panel appointed to suggest amendments to India’s sexual assault laws had strongly suggested criminalizing marital rape. The government rejected this proposed change from the bill it presented in the parliament then.

As reported in the Wall Street Journal India, “A panel of lawmakers who opposed the move argued it “has the potential of destroying the institution of marriage,” according to a report submitted to Parliament earlier this month.” 

“If marital rape is brought under the law, the entire family system will be under great stress,” adds the report.

Marital rape laws in India have been widely debated and talked about, but with little understanding from the Government and law makers. Rape, in any scenario, cannot and should not be legitimized.

India’s long history of husband-worship and patronizing of wives has often led to commodification of women in marriages. Our thriving, regressive culture ensures that in a marriage, the husband has the higher authority and a wife must only take care of the husband and his family. Even as the discussion on rape and sexual assault grows in the public media, the discussion around marital rape and domestic violence remains a far cry.

A husband does not have the right to force sex on her wife, without consent. This should be a non-negotiable.



 

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  1. Shomprakash Sinha Roy

    I just wanted to add this for those 2.5% people who voted “No”. What if your own mother was a victim of the same? Wait, she probably was. That’s why you’re so retarded.

    1. snk

      There are bunch of retards like you who think they are the most intellectual human being on earth… You can’t respect difference of opinion and you claim to understand about marriage, life and sex! Grow up kiddooo, bunch of father’s money rich kids think they are too intelligent for the world.

    2. Ekalavya Mra

      Simple, what if your father accused falsely in the rape case? what will you do? Wait he is probably a victim. That’s why you are such a man hating retard. Go get a life dude.

    3. Aragon Clavon

      Yeah, those 2.5% are the only people who voted for the dignity and respect of your father since anyway you do not seem to care about yours. And of course the same 2.5% wont care about you even if you are rotting in a jail due to a false rape case.

  2. jeeka krishna

    so if i intend to rape a girl on daily basis … i should marry her ?

    1. Aragon Clavon

      Yeah, she will just allow you to marry her without asking any questions. And those girls dont even know what is sex and what is pleasure ! In fact they even eat a dump thinking it is halwa

    2. Arvind

      Heard of this thing called “Sarcasm”?

    3. purva

      @jeeka krishna: you made the strongest point in the fewest words about the ridiculousness of the law and the idiots here who think a married woman is her husband’s sex toy…at least in india you can marry a girl, mistreat her, rape her everyday and if she dare speak up, zomg FALSE ACCUSATIONS!!! and these fools commenting here will always be your pity party…

    4. amar sahni

      well! what do you think, if wife is not a sex toy of husband, then is her husband is only a machine to earn money for her all endless needs? don’t forget that very same wives pull their hubbys to courts or propogate in society when poor hubby get in relation with other women on not being allowed to have sex with her! if wife reject to have sex on non fullfillment of her endless demands (some times even unjustifid) what should he do? and if this is tobe treated as crimr, then what about the act, when these wives divorse man and claim alimoney? when you live with husband, you may refuse to have sex, and after you are divorsed, you need his money and part in property? if you have right to have part in husband’s wealth,then he also has all the right to have sex with wife. remember, the change law will invite many dangerous after effects in marriages. so stop all nonsence opposing.

  3. Pragmatic_Dreamer

    “If marital rape is brought under the law, the entire family system will be under great stress” – Um yes! As they should be!
    Any sexual act with another human being without their consent is a crime. Period.

    1. Ekalavya Mra

      No don’t put the period, you have lot to explain. Do you mean, a forced sex on men also rape? Then why the law never consider rape of men by women seriously? Only people in forums and blogs do some lip service but never pressure for gender equality in rape laws. Gender neutral rape is the need of the hour. Until the laws can’t be gender neutral and misuse clause [punishment for misuse] exist in the law there should not be any marital rape law. Now it’s period.

    2. Pragmatic_Dreamer

      Yup absolutely.
      I know many cases where many of my male friends have been subjected to molestation. There are two problems here :- One is that the males being subjected to this don’t come forward due to various reasons – the major one being embarrassment & second being that the crime itself isn’t being taken seriously by the authorities. This happens in cases even when husbands are being subjected to emotional & verbal abuse but their wives & in-laws.
      I do agree that gender neutral rape laws need to be in place ,which is why I stated what I did above. But Marital Rape is a big concern & it has affected too many women as of late & needs to be given equal importance just as gender neutral laws need to be implemented.

    3. time4MAN (@time4MAN)

      >>Any sexual act with another human being without their consent is a crime.
      Agree..as long as BOTH men and women are given the SAME right under law! Otherwise, even now such so called r@pe is very well covered under gender-biased DV Act which works only for women and is now a great tool to usurp hubby property!

  4. Raul

    Then why should they agree to get married in the first place??

    1. Komal Singh

      really?? since when does sex define marriage? its like getting a green card for rape-and-escape!!

    2. snk

      Why are you generalizing few cases to make it look like as everyone marries for raping the girl? How pathetic is that?
      If I force my wife to cook, why shouldn’t I be charged of forced labor? Now tell me one house where this doesn’t happen?
      If I scold my wife, why shouldn’t I be charged for harassing her? Now tell me one company where subordinates aren’t scolded by superiors.

      In every relation, bitterness come at times, and wife will have all the liberty to charge the husband with rape, had marital sex ( without consent) become rape. There will be no way to prove whether or not consent was there and this will ruin the society.. I’ve no objection if forced sex without consent is brought under harassment but rape, no way! You are going to end your relation when you charge your husband with rape, so why not end the relationship if you no longer want to have sexual relation with your husband ?

    3. ila

      Have you realised the futility of your own argument? ” there will be no way to prove that whether or not consent was there “. I think you are forgetting a very important point. that is IN THIS VERY CASE IT WAS PROVEN THAT CONSENT WAS THERE. THAT IT WAS A FALSE CASE. Don’t be so scared the world is not all that cruel to men.

  5. Anupreet

    I think this is gross and unfair. Just because person is married does it give him full right to do anything with wife? And what if marriages are forced? Then victim has no voice, no choice! They can evolve some other mechanism to check misuse of law but to overlook marital rape completely is not done.

  6. Amit

    Indian marriages suck..big time !!

  7. Sandeep

    This is a sad day for the Indian justice system. Does a woman lose her right to liberty and dignity as soon as she gets married? Does a man own his wife to treat her as he pleases in bed? Does the consent of the woman mean absolutely nothing? Is India going the Ugandan way?
    May I remind the misogynist testosterone charged males of India that sex is an act of love between two human beings (be it homosexual or heterosexual) and consent to that act is key.

    1. Hardik Mehta

      Sandeep, see the motive behind the complaint. Was there been rape? If there is the rape in marriage, then even men, even your father is the rapist. Think and then comment.

    2. PaSS

      great reply..that is the perfect answer to sandeep who do not have experience in facing false cases.

    3. Vanshika

      dear sir, every father is not necessarily a rapist. but yes, if the intercourse in a marriage, is a forced one, then the accused is surely a rapist.

    4. Hardik Mehta

      Vanshika, who will decide if the intercourse in the marriage is forced or not? Here the women complains and the husband is in jail for the rape. This leads to extortion. If the wife says that the house has to be transferred in her name, else the case of rape will be filed, is the extortion in marriage. The same thing is happening with the dowry harassment cases in India, and it has gone to such an extent that every fail marriages lead to false dowry harassment case. There are cases where the parents/siblings of wife are in debt, or the wife has been caught having secret affair with other person, or such extortionist demands puts the false case first. Is there any control for such extortion in marriage.

      Such cases of forced intercourse or rape is just on women’s word.If you see many cases in recent years that the live-in relationship and consensual sex is also termed as rape when the relationship breaks. Such cases are not rape.

    5. Vanshika

      i’m not saying that the authorities should arrest a man just on a woman’s word. i know very well about these fake cases registered by women on their husbands to grab their property. i have been seeing such two completely wrong cases against two of my closely related people. but that does not mean that we can underestimate the pain of those women who are actually being harassed or raped by their husbands. neither can we ignore the proportionality of these ‘n’ number of fake cases against poor husbands.
      but my sole concern is that police should properly investigate these cases as a criminal case. so, that the judiciary can clearly see whether the complaint is true/false. as far as i know, mostly, if a woman is forced to have sex or is beated by her husband then there are possiblities of her having atleast some marks of it. why police never conducts proper medical tests and inquiry from neighbors, for such cases.

    6. Aragon Clavon

      “Why police never conducts proper medical tests and inquiry from neighbors, for such cases” , you have asked a very pertinent and relevant question.

      The reason why police does not conduct proper investigations has got everything to do with the feminists. You know, I know and we all know the epidemic of law misuse in India, The moment police say they want to do investigation in any case all the feminists in the nearby area surround the police station and make life a hell for the police officer who wants to do the investigation and you know why do they do that, that is because they are terrified that the truth will really come out. The truth will demonstrate precisely to what extent evil has taken over in those false cases. In fact if you see the recently amended Rape law has sections where it criminalizes a police office who does not register a case suo-moto, i.e immediately after a complaint is received a case must necessarily be registered. And all this was possible due to extreme pressures from feminists on the government.

      And let me tell you further more, even those cases that end in conviction of the accused a majority of them are actually false cases, and the reason for this sorry state of affairs is also the feminists, if you don’t believe me, just realize once why are even discussing this topic here in this comments, to start with it was a false case of Rape registered as “having sex on pretext of marriage”, where as marriage was solemnized a long time before the alleged sex has happened. Now what more proof do you need for existence of massive scale of evil in our society in the name of false cases. And instead of talking about the false case that was registered we all are ending up here talking about a Marital Rape that never happened and the validity of a law such as Marital Rape.

      In fact the judge must have mistakenly mentioned that since marriage has already taken place so there is no question of Rape. And that and that was the only meaning to be read from the judgement. But the feminists and the media sharks wont let off any opportunity, from a case that is highly derogatory and shameful for every women to think that women who has already wedded is accusing her husband of Rape, we are now discussing the legitimacy of marital Rape here without any proper context at all. Now that is the power of feminists and the media sharks

  8. SHWETANGNA SINGH

    AAH !!! Alas, for the first time i am having a doubt in the Indian Judicial System….!! Does this kind of system can bring a positive difference…??? Indeed it will encourage the men for such actions….. It is said that “If marital rape is brought under the law, the entire family system will be under great stress.” HAHAHA !!! SOMEBODY TELL ME PLEASE THAT WHAT ABOUT THE VICTIM’S STRESS….???

    1. Hardik Mehta

      Just educate yourself and see that how many cases of false rape are been reported? Women are taking undue advantage of the provision of the law which has been used to protect them. The same is with other sections of law for women, where the provisions of laws are misused.

    2. PaSS

      if marital rape law comes, guys will be free from false ipc 498a charges..they will become rapists!!..the observation is true..there should not be any marital rape..if the girl do not wish sexual relation with her hubby, let her file a divorce case not a rape case. this is too much. after the nirbhaya incident all men are treated as rapists and women are flooding with false rape cases.

  9. john2find

    Well may be I going to be the most hated guy in this discussion, but as the topic is put on web(no hands bare match), I want to put my view too.
    NOTE: I no where say my view is absolute , its as prone to errors same as your own view too.

    Rape with an adult: Sex without consent = either use violence or non violent ways (using tricks and pressures).

    Now lets see what the case was based on the same source the author qouted:

    The wife accused her husband (to whom if she has married rightfully, she has given legal rights to have “consensual sex”) for rape charge & also for a forcefull marriage.

    The points which women put before court :
    1. The man sedated her.
    2. Then took her to district court and married her.(4 mar 2013)
    3. Then raped her.
    4. The woman reported this force full marriage , as well as rape : in October 2013 (roughly after 6 months, the marriage in the court took place)

    None of the above points she was able to prove in the court. Now just because she is a woman , how wise will it be too penalize the husband just based on the claim she has made.

    The point which the husband put before court was :
    1. His marriage was solemnised Feb 2, 2011 at the woman’s house. Upon the insistence of his wife, he decided to get their marriage registered and went to the Ghaziabad court.
    2. He has not sedated his wife.
    3. he alleged that his wife framed him in the rape case after he expressed his inability to get his sister’s house transferred in his name.

    All of the above points the man was successfully able to prove out, now just because he is a man how fair it will be to penalize him even when he is able to prove his points.

    Women who are repressed , should surely be brought up, but in the process you bunch of feminist chauvinist don’t end up making man the victim of your shallow perception. One such gift : IPC 498a has been gifted by you to victimize males, by you feminist chauvinist . I wish your 498a-wife tortures you ,your entire family and you sisters family too and using IPC 498a ,so it teaches you some lessons.
    Court knows laws much better and to give evidence based judgments: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Treat-marital-sexual-abuse-as-rape-Court/articleshow/31434943.cms

    Peace.

    1. time4MAN (@time4MAN)

      You’re spot on dear!

  10. Hardik Mehta

    Anshul, have you ever wondered how the laws are misused against husbands and their families. Dowry Law (IPC 498a) is the most misused law in Indian Legal System, where even the Supreme Court in India in one of the judgement (Sushil Kumar v/s Union of India) in 2005 has told that this law is LEGAL TERRORISM?

    Research yourself around the internet and you will find the following:
    1. 98% of dowry harrasment cases are false
    2. 74% of rape cases are false —- Yes its false
    3. Crime against men is not seen or heard
    4. Most of the children in breakup marriages are fatherless and are open to abuse by mothers

    Just have a look at Save Indian family and you will know how the persons and family are been dragged to court for no fault of theirs, even when they are not staying together. I am staying in London and has been dragged in false dowry harassment case. There are many cases where the persons are not staying in the same household and are still the victim of these cases, just because the women has told and mentioned in FIR?

    1. trojanwalls

      If you’re going to throw around random statistics please cite your sources so that people can take you seriously. ‘Research yourself around the internet’ is not a persuasive argument in your favour.

      So, 98% dowry harassment cases are false, are they? I suspect you might be slightly prejudiced in this matter due to your own experience in the judicial arena. However this post is about women facing rape and the law leaving criminals a loophole to get away with it. So what interests me is your second point:

      “74% of rape cases are false —- Yes its false”

      The fact is my friend, we don’t have an exact data on ‘false’ or ‘real’ rape cases. No country in the world does. Do you know why? Because, majority of rape cases are thrown out of the court, not because they’ve been proven to be false but because the burden of proof falls on the victim and not the accused (it’s the reverse in UK) and there are very few ways rape can be conclusively proven in court.
      ‘Rape kits’ are not actually admissible as proof, did you know? And even then rape kits are messed up by medical personnels or the police delay in collecting one making them completely useless from a forensic standpoint.

      Even so all the forensic evidence in the world can’t help the victim if the accused defends himself by saying they were simply having consensual (and maybe rough) sex. How do you prove who tells the truth? Because that’s what it comes down to. Court judges the truth according to precedence and the judge’s own personal bias by putting both the victim and the accused on the stand, and asking for a lot of character witnesses to speak on their behalf to get an idea of who is more likely to lie. That’s it. Unless the victim has been brutalized beyond doubt (and even then) the court is more likely to let the accused go than imprison him.

      Mind you I’m not just talking about the Indian penal code here, even the American judicial system has the same limitations. Admittedly their laws are a little less prehistoric, but the difficulty of proving culpability means that a lot of rapists go free.

      So the people here who are concerned about men being falsely implicated? I see why you would think so, but the facts are that whether innocent or guilty men have a far greater chance of walking out of that court room with nothing more than social embarrassment to deal with (though, yes, I’ll admit that even this is completely unfair towards men who did nothing to deserve it), than women have of seeing their rapist jailed.

      Please remember that the above only applies to cases where women have come forward to seek justice. Far greater are the number who never do.

      And here are some sourcing for further reading in case you’re interested:
      http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/Conviction-rate-fell-from-41-to-24-in-12-years/articleshow/22473030.cms
      http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates
      http://sentencing.typepad.com/sentencing_law_and_policy/2014/03/how-to-lie-with-rape-statistics-americas-hidden-rape-crisis.html

    2. Aragon Clavon

      “but because the burden of proof falls on the victim” Really ? You Hypocrite !!! Can you put your money where your mouth is !!!!!

      So you have even not even read the recently passed anti-rape law in India. The amended Indian law says “When sex is proven, and the victim alleges Rape, then the courts must proceed assuming Rape has happened”, Now do you call that as burden pf proof lying on victim, are you even educated enough to read the laws properly, probably you dont even care becoz your feminist friends are anyway there to cause all non sense just when you start crying.

      And the statistics of 74% Rape cases being false are after the amended law, that is with the provisions as powerful as they are provided in new anti rape law they women are still not able to prove their cases.

      There are many references to false cases reported on the same site that you referred in your own post ‘timesofindia.com’. I keep seeing them regularly and wonder what blocked you from seeing those articles on the same site where as you were quick enough to see articles that support your view. Probably your narrow mindedness does not allow you to see them. I sincerely wish and pray to God that people like you also face the same punishment that you are wishing for others using false cases. And then you people also keep the audacity of making mockery of all the people suffering through false cases. Your time will certainly come !!!

    3. ritankar

      here trojanwalls, i will give you some statistic shit for you. only 2 or 3 politicians have been convicted for criminal activity like murder. do you think that in india there are only 2 or 3 politicians who are criminal. my friends father was a public prosecutor. he was murdered because of the fact that he made the life of a active minister miserable as he provided proof for criminal activity and the minister was to be proved guilty. after the murder the minister was set free within 2 years. by the way the date fell between these 2 years are 2. what do u say about that. no newspaper published about the murder of the prosecutor. and how do i know? its because he is my friend you moron. and why dont i say the name of the minister? i guess you are not worthy enough to discuss anything.

  11. Proudman

    If this becomes a law,men would proudly rape women.Why should we even care about women?

  12. Proudman

    Men shouldn’t marry if this law comes alive.Also how do you know if it’s the women or the men who is raping?So arrest women who force sex

  13. time4MAN (@time4MAN)

    Wow.. you claim yourself to be “non-partisan media platform” but doing the very same stuff that our shameless, sold-out, news-trader media heavily infested with feminists keeps doing everyday… i.e. to put only one side of story and to paint every woman as ‘abla naari’ only… The case in question here is a clear case of failed attempt to grab property from hubby after a short marriage…
    Secondly, you fail to mention that already gender- biased laws like DV Act exist, which address the ‘abuse of female partner’ , but have actually become tools to usurp innocent hubby’s property and extort him thru heavy maintenance amount!
    Lastly, you also failed to mention that anywhere b/w 70-90% cases of r@pe are actually #falserape and being used for purposes like extortion, revenge or coerce male acquaintance into marriage

  14. Vanshika

    violating other people’s lives is not at all a nice idea. and we all know that there are ‘n’ number of fake cases registered against men, as many women think that they can do anything with the rights they are granted. but this does not mean that in name of those fake cases/complaints, men can harass women. no, any being have no right to force anything on the other person. therefore, it should be a part of our basic and common sense, moral and ethical values, and more importantly a part of our conscious that we consider the human rights on our first priority in any situation. and these things are possible, if and only if, we bring these things in daily practice for our children and ourselves.

    1. ritankar

      vanshika do you know in india most rape cases are false and the rapes that do happen are never registered.

    2. vanshika

      1.) we are here not talking about rape, in general but the marital rape
      2.) how do you know that most of the rape cases are false.

      please, don’t say anything just like that.

    3. ritankar

      how do i know.. i know because i have seen it happening… falsely charge a man with molestation and harrassment… a girl can use a term fuck off to a guy.. but if a guy says the same its a harrassment.. the girl came to his desk and asked whether he wanted to have coffee. he said he is busy… when he got free he went to the girls desk and said lets go for the coffee.. and u know who got the job when he was kicked out or was forcefully resigned… it was her boyfriend… what do u have to say about that,..

    4. vanshika

      r u the guy, who was being fired of that job???

    5. ritankar

      no i was not the guy.. the guy is my best friend and we are friends since the age of 5 months. that why i know him so well that i am put my life on the fact that he didnt do anything wrong… and i consider lucky because it me who got a free lesson… lesson not to talk to women in office without another male and female colleague as witness as well as avoid any kind of physical contact with any female colleague… record every conversation when u r taking one to one of a female colleague, and make sure she is aware of the same… dont drink with any female colleague… and so many more.. today no female in my office can do anything without putting themselves to court. as for emotions i dont have any… my mind only work one ways.. thats logic behind any action of any person and that gives the insite of that person about how he thinks

    6. vanshika

      So, you have generalized the whole women’ s community? but that’s not the way out.

    7. ritankar

      i didn’t generalize… i secured my job. my friend has remained unemployed for 6 years after that issue. i found him a job recently… and i for one who was once unemployed for 3 years knows very well how devastating it is to a man… and he remained unemployed for twice my time… and i for one definitely wont be willing to take the risk of the job that i like and have it and most definitely would not like to push it to find out whether all women in my organization arent like that.

  15. Rammy

    But western countries also have gender-neutral marital and rape laws! This will be a welcome amendment but we need following as well:
    a) Failure to marry after consensual sex should NOT be considered rape. Today over 70% of cases of rape are related to failure to marry.
    b) Make Domestic Violence gender neutral
    c) If marital rape is to be covered in criminal code, remove it from DV act, thereby removing financial liability in case of marital rape.
    d) Consensual sex between non-adults should be outside purview of statutory rape. For example, currently consensual sex between two 17 year-olds is considered an act of rape by male to female. This is obviously sexist and assumes girls to be ignorant of their consent while placing criminal liability on boy of same age. When teenagers of same age partake in sexual activity out of consent, there is no sane reason to blame boy of statutory rape.
    e) Adultery law should be gender neutral. Today, only a man can be guilty of adultery, again a sexist law assuming women to be innocent and ignorant.
    f) Under the new definition of consent after amendment, it is not necessary for girl to show that she ‘resisted’ in order to prove rape. Countries with this provision have gender neutral rape law as well, as sex without consent, but where victim never resisted can equally happen to men as well.
    g) Similar to f, consensual sex involving an adult and non-adult should make adult partner responsible for statutory rape irrespective of gender.

    While these may seem different topics, these are closely related as they reflect the other side of our sexism where we want to push criminal liability on men alone.

  16. rajul saxena

    Vanshika ,,,,,,,,,,, then why you marry if you are so sensitive towards the definition of rape or rather i would say the corrupted definition of rape , just stay away from every Man and use dildoe , as dildoe wont rape you

    1. Vanshika

      being sensitive about rape, doesn’t mean that one should confine themselves from the world. going away is not the solution. it is just about developing mutual respect and care in any relationship, be it a marriage or a live-in relationship.

    2. ritankar

      dont consider other countries as they have a completely different upbrining and culture… let me give u a few more real facts on real life.. a husband feels like having sex… his wife dont feel like it… so where would the husband go to do it… would u want that man to go to a brothel and have it or cheat on his wife and have it with someone else… why do u think in recent years there had been a rising trend in extra marital affairs… and i am not just considering males here… females as well… because of excessive hectic life many males are losing libido very quickly… and that in turn gives a rise to impotency in men… it has been observed that most successful marriages are the ones where sex is involved the most and sex is done between partners more often… and please dont comment that give me data facts because i dont carry a stat sheet with me always… i read them and remember them… i was reading somewhere that one husband had sex with his wife when she was pregnant, though bizzaire it may sound but if husband have sex when their wife are pregnant (thats with consent) is actually good for the birth or the baby and psychology of a pregnant women because she feels she is still important and attractive to their husband. sex also helps in the stretching of the vagina and well lubrication as during pregnancy women dont get period so old tissues needs to be invigorated.in many occassions extremely pregnant women are advised to have sex with their husband to help them give natural birth… in india natural births are becoming rare in urban areas and more because of complication where as in developed countries they try to do natural delivery first and foremost.. my friend was given a date and time of delivery… she was not even asked to try to give it a try for natural delivery, she was operated even before she started having labour.. by the way she wanted to have a natural birth… that nursing home is one of the best…
      as i said in my post… education is completely different from law.. and every thing cant be made a law…

    3. vanshika

      when did i talk about any country, we are talking about marital rape. ritankar, we are not talking about consented ex in a marriage. we are here talking about the forced one. are men so desperate that they have no control over themselves? that’s okay, if he feels like having ex but hi wife don’t. but in such a situation , he can rather control his hunger for a sexual intercourse than cheating on his wife or choosing to go to brothels. sorry, but you sound very sick and narrow in your vision of sexuality. and the last thing that i want to say, YOU DON’T NEED TO TEACH ME ABOUT A WOMAN’S SEXUALITY AND PHYSICAL NEEDS, AS I TOO AM A WOMAN.

    4. ritankar

      i am not teaching you anything about womens’ sexuality nor i am trying to teach u about physical need. what i am telling is completely different than what you perceived. let me give u an example… u feel like drinking… ur husband dont feel like drinking.. would u wait till he feels thirsty…. this is one… another… many wives complain that their husband dont want to eat early… so they wait till their husband wants to eat so that they can eat together… if a wife can wait to eat why cant she wait to drink water… could u explain that… and also if she can drink when her husband dont want to why cant she eat alone and dont complain… what i said is sometimes in married life a wife has to do sex even when they dont feel like having it… now this doesnot mean her husband will forcefully have sex… it means his wife should do it for the sake that her husband feels like having it… the difference lies in a forced sex is the lack of education when a husband forces it, and when i say education it doesnot mean how many degrees he has, it mean his upbringing… if 2 women does infidelity, so does that mean all women does it… the way two men dont eat same quantity of rice, the same way two different men dont feel the urge to have sex in the same way… and one might look for other option to vent it out… sexual psychology of men works very differently than women… you might think u know ur sexuality… but i can bet u are not aware how different ur sexuality is from men and what is the reason behind this different psychology.

    5. vanshika

      what a great comparison you give. ritankar, its not i, who has perceived anything wrong, but its you. its not that wives don’t understand their husbands’ urge to have sex, or they don’t accompany them when they want it, but in a situation where a woman is not-at-all able of doing so, and your SOO POOR MAN force her, beat her, to get into a sexual act, then it is definitely a marital rape. and no bloody man has any right to do so. and this is exactly what i’m saying, and most people are trying to say.

    6. ritankar

      vanshika please go ahead and check out the meaning of the term marital rape. beating the wife falls under different category of crime… zzzzz
      marital rape is forcefully having sex when the women under consideration is not willing to have sex. as someone here clearly stated it, wive and husband consumes alcohol together, and then have sex… next day wife reports that she was forced to have sex by sedating with alcohol will come under marital rape. how would u prove the innocence of the man here…

    7. vanshika

      ritankar, you are impossible. there is no scope of enlightenment in you. i have realized that you will never ever broaden your vision of the facts and problems. so please, lets not stretch it any more. you stay with your thoughts on the issue and i’ll keep mine.

    8. ritankar

      well we all know when women cant give reply they say. “you are impossible. there is no scope of enlightenment in you” and from your comment anyone can clearly make out that you would prefer to a law to empower women than to address the reason why rape of any kind is happening…
      women talk about gender equality in india yet they look for reservation of seats in buses and metro… if a pregnant women is there, the women sitting in seats expect a man to offer his seat instead of giving her own… if a handicap is there they dont even bother about it… yet females in india calls for gender equality and law for it…
      you call for divorce as if its like going out for a smoke. you dont even bother to think about the far reaching consequences they have. i dont know your marital status so giving you both the situations. if you are unmarried and you are looking for a groom,,, which groom would be your first preference, the one who is divorced or the one who is not… and if u are married and you have a son for whom you are looking for a bride, would u be looking for a divorced girl or the one who is not and incase of a daughter the above logic… when you yourself cannot follow what you say then why suggest others with the same. and but in developed countries its not the same… so dont consider other countries to india as their culture are totally different than ours… compare when the same circumstances are present between them.
      you talk about reporting and justice when you are not completely aware of the psychology that a female goes under when they are raped.. most females dont report because they themselves feel its them who motivated it, when the reason is different, let alone the pressure from family who says dont report because it will tarnish their image. and if they are forced most common thing is they go back to depression of the rape as they have to relive the memory of what happened into medical check ups which they hate at that point of time. and still i have not addressed the situation when people who do know that rape victim would view her as a raped being instead of just a women. and in those people its not that all of them are males, its the females as well.
      females in India say the are the subjugated gender.. i can bet if not all most wont be able to reply… what was the name of the boy who was beaten up and was thrown out of the bus with the intention to kill him as well, in Delhi rape case. i know you don’t know it and don’t deny it by googling the name then adding it in the comment to show your knowledge. and do you know why you don’t remember the name, its because you don’t respect the man who fought for that rape victim, and the reason you dont respect is just because he is a man and your expectation is he is bound to defend her. if instead of a man it would have been a women you would have known her name for sure.. and that the way psychology differs.
      in India watching or staring on the bust of a women is a crime, even though he didnt even touch or passed any comment. you say you know your psychology .. then tell me why you dress well and try to look beautiful when you go to a gathering or a festival or a party. and dont give me a bull shit answer like just to look good. looking beautiful and looking good both means the same. the reason a man dress up nicely is the same reason a female dress up nicely. both want to attract the opposite gender without conscious decision or thought.
      i asked you that please enlighten us where would the man who is being victimize go, because thats what is going to happen if a law is made. but u would prefer that a man to be victimized than to address the core of the problem, why the rape or marital rape is happening.
      you consider marital rape and rape two different thing… but where as i consider both are the same thing… rape is forcely having sex without the consent of the being and it can be both female and male…
      in a village a women is paraded naked in india.. do you want to say that in the entire village there was not one female, and every being of that village were male… females of that village are equally responsible for such crimes by watching the misery of that victim.
      for every atrocity against females, females themselves are responsible for it, in some occasion directly and rest indirectly.. starting for killing female fetus to rape of female…
      for female infanticide, does the mother in law of the pregnant girl fights for the right of the female.. the answer is a big no.
      in a marital rape or your so called beating the wife and then having sex, what did the mother of the man did to stop it… the answer is big no… nothing she did to prevent it. why didnt she do it. its because its her son who is doing it. in case someone else had been in the picture that same female will start commenting that, that the man in consideration should be punished.
      i think last year some female politican in some African country gave a suggestion that female war victims should be used as whores or keeps to satisfy the sex hunger of men so that they don’t do infidelity and this should be made legal. when the female themselves don’t respect their kind do you think there can be any improvement in that country in the field of female rights.
      the fact is you yourself consider that female is a weaker gender and that’s why should be protected by law, as if you are an endangered species who are being killed by poachers. and till the time female themselves feel they are equal there cant be any improvement or gender equality. more laws you make the more will be the gender difference.
      and as i have given you live examples how a law can easily be misused, creating law can never solve a problem like this. it can only be misused. you don’t believe me i know.. so do this as an experiment. if u are working just go and raise a complaint that you have been sexually molested in office by a colleague and see what your office does to his career. check how much value is given to his reasons of
      innocence. and if you don’t do it then you yourself very well know that your male colleagues’ words wont be heard and his plea will not be considered at all. you know as well that either he will be asked to leave the organization or a police report would be made as well as he would be terminated from his duties in office.

    9. vanshika

      this is why you are impossible. had you read my other comments, you would have never referred to me as someone who keeps talking about equality and still want reservations. that’s why i called you a narrow mind person. you are super egoistic. you don’t even consider other person’s voice. you always take these everything as an offence on your male dynasty. as if, we women, want to abolish your paradigm or something like that. please stop portraying “all men” as “poor men”.
      may god give you some drops of real life…

    10. Monistaf

      OK. So what do you want the man to do? Exercise self control? Sure, a few times he will be able to do that, but if it is habitual and happens on a regular basis, he will seek other avenues to indulge his fantasies. What is wrong with that? If a woman does not want to be with a man, that is her choice and must be respected, if he can pay to be with someone else, that too is a choice, just not YOUR choice. Are you willing to respect it?

    11. vanshika

      then why are they living together? if this problem is so pertinent, and is effecting their relationship also, then they must talk and afterwards take divorce, if so is consented.

    12. Monistaf

      You are absolutely right. That is what I mentioned as part of an independent comment. No one (man or woman) should be forced into having sex, but there should be a provision to annul the marriage if they are not meeting each other’s expectations and help both the man and woman move on to, hopefully, more fulfilling relationships.

  17. Aragon Clavon

    So according to Prevailing definitions of Rape, A husband and wife will have a nice time with alcohol and have a happy night of sex, the following morning wife wants a diamond necklace which husband cannot afford. Now there is a very big scope for Husband to become a Rapist, the very definition of Rape says even consented sex under influence of alcohol is Rape. The above situation is not an isolated one, Due to the very wide liberal scope given to definition of Rape, heavy amounts of damage could be caused using Marital Rape

    And its not like the proponents of Marital Rape do not know this or do not understand the very wider implications of Marital Rape, It is just that they want to see all these disasters happening. Because using laws like Marital Rape they can prevent all other people from achieving success int heir lives and this is a kind of sadistic pleasure they seek. Guys, I am not in any way legitimizing a forced sex even inside marriage, but the proponents of Marital Rape do not have honest intentions in their hearts. In marriage a wife can also force sex using emotional manipulations and more over if Marital Rape is made available then this law itself is going to be used to force sex from husband.

  18. Aragon Clavon

    I would like to earnestly request every one here pouring their emotions to just realize once, why are we even discussing this topic here in this article.

    To start with it was a false case of Rape registered as “having sex on pretext of marriage”, where as marriage was solemnized a long time before the alleged sex has happened. Now what more proof do you need for existence of massive scale of evil in our society in the name of false cases. And instead of talking about the false case that was registered we all are ending up here talking about a Marital Rape that has never happened and we are discussing the validity of a law such as Marital Rape.

    In fact the judge must have mistakenly mentioned that since marriage has already taken place so there is no question of Rape, and must have mentiopned to consolidate his judgement by stating further that sex in marriage does not amount to Rape even if it is consensual or not, That and only that was the only meaning to be read from the judgement.

    But the feminists and the media sharks wont let off any opportunity to vistimze men in India, from a case that is highly derogatory and shameful for every women to think that a woman who has already wedded her husband is accusing him of Rape, And she has gone so far as to fabricate all possible evidence to implicate her husband, we are here now discussing the legitimacy of marital Rape without any proper context at all.

    Now that is the power of feminists and the media sharks especially those from NDTV. From all this it just seems like the feminists and media sharks are desperate to start a discussion on ‘Marital Rape’, they just want to set the ball rolling and want to see where it leads to. That and only that is the purpose of not only this article but of all the countless others floating on internet in the same name and same case

  19. Theloneultimate

    Well crying out loud doesn’t help, I cant see you pouring in any options and alternatives to change such laws. Although deeply hurt and angered to see such a law in existance, I dont think changing it in a meener beneficial to all parties is possible. Although by providing the obvious proviso to such an exception, the answer given by many, you realize how hard will it be for the accused to prove innocence in court as any random sexual intercourse between the husband and wife can be a ground to allege rape charges, thus oping a door for malicious prosecution. The test as reagrds to this was also not allowed as per recent news, therefore by no way possible to defend the accused. Therefore, instead of whining, try giving a solution.

  20. ritankar

    you simply cannot make everything law. let me give some simple example even though many would think irrelevant.
    1> wearing helmet- a persons life is his and his alone sole responsibility and he alone should have the right to take it or live it. if he is not wearing a helment its him so would face consequences in an accident
    2> suicide- were are these law makers when is person is living on hungry. i don’t see the law makers providing food or money in simple terms which would allow a person to live securely.
    3> secular- where does secularity in india stand when our constitution has two laws that are being followed.(Hindu law and Muslim law)

    99% of actual rape cases in india go unnoticed or subjugated with force and bribery. a decade back ( sorry cant remember the year), a person of west bengal was hanged because of a crime of rape and murder which he commited 15 years( approx again) before the conviction. a late justice is equivalent to no justice given.
    there are occasion when a wife should have intercourse when she may not feel like for it. ( this is not from a male and masculinity sucker). and that is what marriage is about. A husband should not force his wife for sex is an education that has to be imparted to the individual. remember its an EDUCATION.
    i remember my class 9th and 12th biology section. our teacher never taught us the terms or meaning of the term orgasm. even in books its not mentioned whether a female gets orgasm. and thats why most of the people consider that female just perform the act of sex and doesnot enjoy it, where as the truth is female need it, want it and like it for a healthy psychology and very few people know it.
    today kamasutra is seen as just a book on sex. but the truth about kamasutra is that it teaches sex cannot be enjoyed well if both partners are not relishing it.in other words for a good sexual congress both male and female must participate in it with the intention of enjoying it. most educated married people will know that there are occassion in their life when though they did it and they had orgasm (ejaculation), it was not as fulfilling as on few other occasion. its because their wives might not have participated in it with the intention to enjoy it.
    we say watching porn makes male to rape more. well i am a male. i have been watching porn since the age of 13 and i never felt the intention to rape and nor did those friends whome i know they saw it too. its the education and upbringing of the rapist that makes them commit the crime.
    in this situation given above the girl was forced to get married in a subjugated state and then was raped and that i consider a crime. but the nature of the crime is not marital rape but a rape in general. and the fact that those justice did not convict the person shows the impotency of themselves. if i have to bet for bribery i will vote yes to it. those lawyer were bribed well or they themselve believe in the fact of rape is legal.
    in the rape of delhi why was indian judiciary system was prepared to handle such crisis. why wasnt rape been considered a enormous crime from before hand. this again shows the fucked up judiciary system and not to mention the asshole politician.
    many people say i am proud of india and being indian, i say india is a fucked up country.and so are we as being a part of it (that includes me as well). and the reason is that freedom cannot be given it has to be taken. gandhi was the biggest mistake of india, how do i know, its because of a simple fact, we don’t even give respect to those people who laid down their lives to give their motherland freedom. if u think otherwise then answer this simple question, how many holidays do we get for a freedom fighter who died in service to the motherland. india has become a nation and not a motherland, how else could nehru had the audacity to say we have a price of bone to a dog. i dont see nehru family ever shared there own house to the common people or even donated a room as charity, yet gave a piece of country.

  21. Har

    What is Indian youth expecting from marriage? is a big question these days. While men look forward mainly for sex in their relationship, women want money, social security, etc in the marriage. They should understand that these things are only the consequence of marriage and the main reason for marrying is something else. Many of the marriages in India happen just because the person is in the right age..if the person is willing to take plunge or not is least explored by the two partners. Even less explored is the degree of sexual desire between partners. Let us take an example where the man has a higher sexual desire than his woman, and they get married in an arranged marriage. Now what should the husband do? same case if the woman is having a higher desire…Should the partner involve in extra marital relationship which is illegal? If forced sex in a marriage should be made illegal; there was a recent decision by supreme court stating that “denying sex after marriage is termed as cruelty”. Well if the author raises question, let him give answers too..

    1. Gaurav

      men do not marry for sex. sex is happening outside marriage too so rest assured a man will not marry a woman if all he wants is sex. men ultimately marry for companionship or children.

  22. Monistaf

    I completely agree that no one should be forced to have sex against their will, regardless of marital status. It is very personal and no one should be able to regulate that choice. In situations like these, there is obvious incompatibility between the partners in terms of their expectations from each other and there should be a provision to annul the relationship so both partners can go their own ways. There are a lot of men stuck in sexless marriages and are constantly on the lookout for other opportunities to indulge their fantasies just as there are plenty of women who are stuck in unsatisfactory marriages. These are not healthy for either the man or the woman and there should be provisions to help people move on to hopefully, better and more enriching relationships.

  23. gaurav

    this is a complicated topic, a better way to deal with marital rape is to shun marriage. women need to take a stand and shun marriage altogether. that is the only way out. now before people start throwing stones at me let me explain. take the example of the women who was sedated and taken to the registrar. i cannot believe a sedated women got married at the registrar. there has got to be a ceremony and witnesses involved. this is ridiculous. if we dig a little deeper i can see the core issue. the real reason for attacking marriage is women want to be in control of who gets to decide when , how, if and with whom sex will happen. but women are finding it difficult to make a system where they are the ones calling the shots everytime. in marriage women get enough ways to says yes or no and if yes how much or what and how. but outside marriage there is no other acceptable manner to decide how men and women will have sex, where, how and if and with whom. so the bottom line is women need to come up with a system and if you do not like marriage… please do not marry. there is no way people are going to change an institution like marriage simply because you find it unsuitable.

    1. AK

      precisely!

  24. dhruv

    Somehow I agree with it. Now of course there are extreme cases which needs to be dealt on case per case basis, but for a larger picture I agree with what court says

    1. AK

      I agree too.

  25. Bikash

    I think she should re-appeal this particular case under ground that marriage is void as that took place when one party was not competent and under intoxicated/sedated state..one this is done, then re-appeal rape case.

    Also, not sure but marriage register only register marriage after it had been applied for 1 month in advance …not sure this law is still there..if it is there this would also make marriage void if not applied in advance !!

    Also, marriage done with criminal intent /to escape law may be illegal..not sure again !!

  26. time4MAN

    And BTW while we are discussing to ‘criminalize’ marital s*x, please also ASK to criminalize monetary demands / forcibly/fraudulently taking of Hubby’s money by Wife. And gender neutral definition of Rape and DV laws.
    In DV having OR even NOT having s*x with wife has been criminalized.. Wife just need to utter few words and a criminal DV case can be started on hubby! NOT giving money to wife comes under ‘economic abuse’ of wife under DV! Similar rights should to given to hubby for his Bodily and Economic integrity! And then dear friend make any Law..keep it gender-neutral.. No issues then!

    1. AK

      This is the whole point…Indian Law is gender biased but women are not the real sufferers anymore…hope more and more can open their eyes and see this!

  27. AK

    Nice work. best wishes.

  28. AK

    INDIAN FAMILY LAW MUST BE UPDATED…it was made in 1860s and now in 21st century…most of it is being just misused…it is gender biased where women have EVOLVED to make full use of the age old clauses…as soon as Family law is updated…so many marital problems will solve themselves…at least that’s what I believe…people-both men and women will have to be more responsible for their actions….

  29. Chiranjeevi

    I accept that husband shouldn’t force wife to have sex, but there are some ladies who doesn’t want sex at all. I experienced it with my wife. what to do in that case.

  30. anand

    Till now I Haven’t heard a case where a wife carried intercourse forcefully. Though yes I agree gone r the days when wives were the only victims. N yes for people whose wives don’t want to get involved in such activities they should talk to their spouse freely n should try to reach a conclusion. Rather than forcing her. Harming her self respect. N treating her just as an object. If some one can b so impatient n horrible they better go to people who indulge in such works. That won’t harm anyone n will even keep your relationship trustworthy n respectful.

  31. anand

    I agree with vanshika

  32. Amar Sahni

    Stop all this non-sence talks about those who voted NO. What if the wife refuses to have intercourse on not fulfillment of her never ending demands? Even for some un justified reasons some women won’t let their spouse to have intercourse….. Isn’t it a type of blackmail? After all husband is also a human being, he also has some desires. If in case husband is not allowed for sex by wife and he get in relationship with other woman, all these very wives will propagate against them and will pull them to courts and insult them in society. The present law is perfect and need no change.

  33. Amar Sahni

    Stop all this non-sence talks about those who voted NO. What if the wife refuses to have intercourse on non fulfillment of her never ending demands? Even for some un justified reasons some women won’t let their spouse to have intercourse….. Isn’t it a type of blackmail? After all husband is also a human being, he also has some desires. If in case husband is not allowed for sex by wife and he get in relationship with other woman, all these very same wives will propagate against them and will pull them to courts and insult them in society. The present law is perfect and need no change.

    1. Shalini

      You know this doesn’t justify raping someone. What’s so good about having sex with someone who doesn’t want you anyways? Why do you want to stay with a woman who can use such tactics. You have a choice to leave her. It’s just that most people have put too many restrictions on themselves by giving in to societal pressure or not thinking about whether the traditions they a following are working in todays times.

      Things change you know. You can’t stop change. And there is a reason we don’t live the way people lived centuries ago. Because it didn’t work anymore.

  34. Shalini

    Soo…. basically what this means is rape is not really a crime! The crime is actually sex before marriage. Only it’s not explicitly mention in the law. 😐
    It doesn’t matter what the woman wants or doesn’t want as long as you don’t have sex before marriage. Who cares about women anyways!!

  35. Aleya

    Hey,
    What is the citation of the case referred to above?

    The one in which, Additional Sessions Judge Virender Bhat held that “The parties being husband and wife, the sexual intercourse between the two does not come within the ambit of the offence of rape, even if the same was against the will and consent of the victim”

    Kindly help?

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

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