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‘I Am Not A Kitchen Appliance’: A 35 Second Advertisement That Debunks ‘Traditional’ Gender Roles

By Akhil Kumar:

In India, most of the families pride themselves in being ‘traditional’ and old fashioned when it comes to marriages. Arranged marriages are a phenomenon that many Indians can be found boasting about, often pitted against the ‘morally degenerate’ love marriages that they claim are the sole reason for increasing divorce rates. While doing so, they often hypocritically gloss over the regressive practice of propagating patriarchal gender roles by listing their ‘expectations’ from the girl in a marriage.

The high pedestal that they often place the traditional Indian arranged marriages on are often built on the foundations of patriarchy and structural misogyny. Why is the girl expected to be a homemaker? Why is she expected to ‘serve’ the husband and act like an obedient pet? This short advertisement is a brilliant satire that attempts to demolish the stereotypes that propagate regressive gender roles for women.

To know more about this story and what I think, follow me on Twitter at @Akhil1490

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  1. Sakshi

    Why is this just for 35 secs? It should have been of little longer duration..I found it very Good!!!

    1. karan

      So you wanted more examples to understand ?

  2. Tanya

    just what needs to be heard by people to break the stereotype………..:)

  3. Prashant Kaushik

    Is it wrong to expect my (future) wife to prepare a coffee for me some day ? Matrimonial advts looking for groom are filled up with words such as “Boy must be well settled earning more than 8 Lacs etc” ? So what does that mean , men are ATM machines ?

    There is complete hypocrisy to which I shall atleast never submit myself. On one end you talk about Mathematical equality. But just travel for 15 mins in a metro, you will see the other side where this equality is completely shattered. You will see young (healthy, physically fit) girls arrogantly asking middle age uncles to vacate the ‘Ladies’ seat. I guess the Ladies seat reservation was brought in to help those women who have at that particular time some health, related weakness and rather causing them embarrassment in asking for help, just providing a flat reservation of seats for the entire gender. But this provision, as I said, is so arrogantly used. The hypocrisy is visible when young girl fights for their claims over the seat, but don’t vacate it for other elderly women. If you don’t agree, then read on –

    Yesterday, I saw a girl quarreling with a guy ( both in their 20s) to vacate a seat reserved for Senior Citizens over which the guy was sitting first. Ideally none of them had any right over the seat, the seat was reserved not for Ladies but for Senior Citizens, Yet, a so called stud intervened to push the Lady’s claim for the seat and got her seated there.

    All this feminist movement has just lost it’s focus. Rather empowering women and giving them equal rights and opportunities, this movement has become a platform for certain people and companies to seek publicity.

    One last thing, Today I can earn and sufficiently feed myself from the best of restaurants, but still I travel thousand miles to get a sweet prepared by my mother. My parents too can buy everything out of themseves, but a saree or a shawl gifted by me would be priceless for them.
    Machines and money can never replace emotions.

    Its another thing if my future wife doesn’t know cooking, its even OK if she spoils the dish, but such unnegotiable rigidness on her part will only make me feel abandoned.

    I can ofcourse hire a cook, and eventually I will. But what if some day the cook is on leave, or some special days like anniversaries, where in I would love to be surprised by some delighting tokens of love. It doesn’t matter how tasty that food or coffee happens to be, more importantly it is her desire and efforts to understand me and live with me.

    A guy like me wants a partner to live and grow with, not a lawyer who sees every act of love with distrust and suspicion.

    1. Tanisha

      Yes, it is a little weird to EXPECT your wife (or anyone else) to make coffee for you other than in a restaurant setting, since these sorts of things you should know how and be prepared to make for yourself at home. But of course when I make something for myself I ask the people in my household whether they want some as well. While I don’t begrudge making extra for someone else, if an able-bodied person asked me to get them a glass of water or make them a cup of tea that they could make themselves, I would feel uncomfortable. It’s about expectations; I will do many nice things for you out of my own will, but don’t come to expect them and one day demand them.

    2. Forb

      So I guess you’ll never ask for money from your husband, right? Because you seem to be a woman who can earn her own money.

    3. Arya Mylar

      Tanisha knows well how to be on her own.. so y prepare for others.. and when she is old also she can do it for herself… bury your self when u die too.. independent banraha hai india..

    4. Yanya

      Yes.. I wil never him ask for money and expect he and his family wil never ask for things (dowry) in the name of customs from my family too.

    5. Yumna

      Prashant – great points. But, if you’d like to be surprised by a special token on a special day or want a stand-in when the maid is on holiday, you could step up in the kitchen and the rest of the house, just as much as your future wife. While I don’t dispute your acute observations about young women on trains, I do think it’s unfair when women hold down jobs, just as their husbands do, but are also expected to be the front-runner in managing the house, the kids, the food and the shopping.

    6. Mansi

      Very well said! I’m a 21st century woman and I totally agree with you. It’s just become cool to talk about feminism without actually understanding that in a marriage, both partners need to be loved and respected …your example about your mom is absolutely spot on. Why can’t there be a society where both partners are willing to bend for each other? Boys too must learn to manage a household and girls too must learn to be self-reliant when it comes to work and such things.

    7. Avishek

      Prashant – pretty good observations….liked your angle, specially the pointer around – parent child relation priceless !!

    8. Dhiya

      @ Prashant

      You seem reasonable in your expectations for a partner in marriage. But it is unfair on your part to judge all young girls based on a few instances that you have seen on public transport. I believe that the main reason that reservation on seats was made for women was to reduce instances of groping and other inappropriate behaviour. Further, women are physically weaker and hence need seats. I agree that it is shameful that a lot of girls refuse to give up their seats for elderly people and something must be done to instill this basic common courtesy.

      This ad was about gender roles – the woman refused to be married to someone who only expected a machine. Too many marriages turn sour when neither spouse finds their companionship needs in the marriage met.

    9. UD

      I hear you! I totally agree that the “girls’ side” has no right to expect you to be an ATM machine any more than you can expect her to be a kitchen appliance. Also, being a young woman myself, I find it offensive when girls my age ask middle aged/old men to vacate seats-it is totally against the grain of feminism if you cant even carry your own weight on your own two feet. However, please understand the reason behind this advert-most parts of India is still heavily patriarchal where women actually ARE treated like kitchen appliance. I had a manager whose mom-in-law clearly stated before marriage…..”if you want to work its ur wish….but dont neglect the kitchen”. She woke up everyday at 5 and cooked and cleaned the house before coming to office….while her hubby would be comfortably curled up in bed.I ask you-is that fair at all?I can see that you have a balanced mentality but all men arent like you-some people do have a “entitled” mentality. As some1 pointed out in the comments below….in a relationship people should do things for each other out of love, rather than out of “expectations”

    10. Kiran

      I’m with you Prasanth. It requires courage to be non-hypocritical. You have it.

    11. Prashant Kaushik

      Thanks Buddy 🙂

    12. Mita

      Prashant, I want to tell you why this ad resonates with so many of us women. I have a cousin who gave up drinking tea because his wife is not a tea drinker. The family blames the wife for not making an effort for her hubby. But why the hell can a 30-something guy not make his own tea? Why can you not cook when your cook goes on a leave or surprise your wife on special occasions? Do you not think that shows your love? Or do you think that it is somehow not fitting for a man to step into the kitchen someday? Or is it only the wife who must prove her love? I cook because I love to, not to prove my love! The ad is about stereotypes. The guy’s mother does not talk about his loneliness or a need for a companion, but rather for a maid. Getting a wife so that you get coffee and meals is rather pathetic. And why would you think that the girl sees him as an ATM? She obviously does not think highly of his american job! And it is more than probable that she has a job herself. Your comments on women commuters is not wrong, but it not about hypocrisy. Reservation does not make girls saints. They can be as rotten as any other person.

      Just to make my point clear, swap the genders. Can a girl with a good salary ask her prospective groom if he can make coffee?

    13. anonymous

      Until I got married, I felt it was unfair to have reservation for women..But once I got married, I felt there was all the need for it..

      Women are expected to work in office without neglecting home..what does that mean…it essentially means that women are needed to cook, be on time to home even if there is outstanding work in office..Say ‘NO’ to late night calls, hence, forego your chances of promotion coz the male counterparts have no such restriction on them and can commit more to work..

      And when a baby is born, stay awake whole nite to take care of baby and still attend office the next day…The husband would always volunteer to take care of expenses and say to his wife to leave the job if she cant manage both, hence killing wife’s aspirations to earn her own living…

      It may not be true for everyone, but I would think its the story with atleast 80% of working women..My female colleagues don’t want to take promotions because responsibility comes with it..and they are not ready to spend so much time in office coz their husbands are not ready to share responsibilities…even if they do, it is not equal..

      Women can be treated like men only if men volunteer to do that at home…essentially, when husbands start respecting their wives, all reservations can be cut…

    14. SrbKaur

      well said!

    15. Payal

      While a read this comment, I kept wondering when the author would say, “I am willing to cook”… but no, he is willing to “hire a cook”. A lot of comments on this thread reiterate that men go out and earn money, so women should sit at home and cook. Im shocked that the young generation should still think on such blatant stereotypes. All around me I see young women working just as hard as men, competing for jobs at similar scales, and earning money for their families. I run my household expenses while my husband pays the bills. I could never expect to put the bulk of expenses on my husband. Yes as a mother, it is my primary responsibility to take care of my child, and I chose to be the primary care giver for purely practical purposes. My husband earns more than me andhe has a brighter career prospect than I have. So the decision was really made! I CAN sacrifice my career partially, because we NEED one partner to achieve. If I was the one working in a leading bank at a senior level, and my husband had a lower paying job, the roles would have been swapped! Its simple really. Gender stereotypes do not work in this material world. We have to redefine things practically.
      Now to the ad. This ad is aimed at all those women who are intelligent, educated, careerist and want to do more in life than just be someone’s wife. I am sure housewives do make coffee for their husband. But I know of many of my men friends who make coffee for their wives when they come back from work at the same time. Why should it be that the new generation of up and coming men and women turn more regressive than us?
      When we talk of respecting women, it is not about being abandoned by the wife who is adamant about not making coffee. Darling, no one does that! RESPECTING WOMEN MEANS NOT TREATING THEM LIKE HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES. I have seen so many men just sit around all Sunday with their legs up on the coffee table while the wife cooks and cleans and makes tea 50 times a day! I suggest, make tea together. If he makes dinner, you set the table. You will get more time to talk to your wife, maybe learn a few secrets of her heart. It is sure to make your relationship more loving and respectful. The attitude of most men is that women are there to serve. This is what needs changing and finally a brand is courageous enough to turn a stereotype on its head.

    16. Prashant Kaushik

      @ Tanisha, Yumna, Mansi Dhiya , UD, Mita
      @Avishek
      @Payal

      Thank you all either agreeing or being soft with your criticism. I was fearing an aggressive attack on the first comment which I made. It’s encouraging to see you all maintaining the decorum.

      Ofcourse a guy like me (besides hiring a cook, ordering from outside) can also enter the kitchen as and when required, or even if it is un-required. ( I hope I am not missing all possible Permutations-Combinations of this case )
      Also, I can help her with the household work and I have no issue with her working more and focusing less at home.
      But do I need to sign an AFFIDAVIT for it ? Where is the trust factor ?
      For years I happily did so with my siblings and none ever felt victimized or threatened all this long.
      ok.. fine lots of men don’t cooperate, but does that justify a prospective bride to kill a discussion started by her prospective mother in law ?

      I would have rather been her fan, if instead of terminating a proposal, she, with poise and dignity, would have sat down to discuss further their mutual expectations and ask if coffee making is their only expectation, and state that she, post marriage, may focus more on her job part.

      The Advertisment is negative in content. It doesnt tell what a women can do, it tells what a women is not happy to do !

      So, all Ladies, pls let me know, how would you feel, if in your presence, when your Dad asks the most basic, popular and predominant question of an arrange marriage to your prospective groom – “how much do you earn ?”, Then instead of answering, the Boy makes his fun, taunts, throws back some ‘Investment Bond’ papers on his face and says ‘Get your daughter married with these ‘Investments’ – No risk -Fixed return plus Life cover.”

      The whole point is, that there are better and more refined ways to express yourself. Women have traditionally been considered as more articulate in expressing themseveles, but unfortunately this Advt. has even depleted them of this quality.

      I have no problem if the girl cant make coffee or tea due to some other assignments. I have no objection if she works overtime as well. It’s obvious that she is a lot more than that. But I do have problem if she mistrusts me every minute. Raises eye-brow if I ever demand something like a glass of water. I don’t want a women who walks with an excel sheet to provide an hourly update, as we do in corporate office, of who did what and how much.

      A normal guy like me wants his Marriage to be an abode of love and romance, of surprises and happiness, not a social laboratory to test the implications of such Leftist-Marxist-Rightist-Feminists-Liberal debates.

    17. Soumya

      When you deal with people expecting you to be a household appliance everyday, do you really sit down and explain to each of them why they are being discriminating? Who has that kind of patience? Certainly not women. And believe me, they face this discrimination every day, sometimes multiple times in a day!

      Women have traditionally been considered as more articulate in expressing themselves? I think the girl in the advertisement expressed herself well enough. She didn’t want to deal with people who didn’t respect women. End of story.

      You are welcome to have your opinion on how a woman should deal with discrimination. We women are free to agree or disagree as we see fit.

    18. Prashant Kaushik

      I think you were too quick to conclude that ‘Making Cofee’ is their only and pre-dominant expectation. True most Mother in laws are like that, but still the girl should have given her a chance. There is a good possibility that Mother was just setting a prologue or backgound for a discussion and bring everyone at ease.
      As in this case, an act of stupidity cant be answered by an act of arrogance.

    19. Mita

      Prashant what you are looking for is a Hindi soap. Unfortunately this is a 35 sec ad. And who asks, “how much do you earn?” I thought that was bad manners (you are supposed to ask the job and infer from that ;)).

    20. Lya

      Prashant,
      What you said makes Sense. However, the amount of pressure to be perfect housewife while having succesful career is pissing off people. I am suprised u did not find it offensive tht she mentioned about a cup of coffee and not mentioning about how he needs someone to share a life. I cook for my family and I have no issues with it because my husband or his family doesnt treat me like a maid and they help me with everything. Neither a man or a women are expected to do things for each other because they have to. There needs to be love respect and understanding from each others perspective. Everyone is grown up and needs to learn to pick up afterthemselves and understand that kitchen is not a part of womens life. IF you have a problem with women in the video I am sorry u need a better understanding about women. if you have a problem with the women in the train as u mentioned u should convey them. Remember watching the slap video of a gurl and a guy in a train/bus that is wat equality about. -Lly

    21. Prashant Kaushik

      You have no issues with your husband and your familytoday because you have given them a chance where they performed good, and I guess you were not very keen to write them off on the first meeting or the first impression you had of them.
      I am not saying that the girl in this ad should have blindly followed to marry the guy, but atleast she could have been more patient to see where the discussion further goes. As I have written in above comment, There is a good possibility that Mother was just setting a prologue or backgound for a discussion and bring everyone at ease. If the girl would have noticed latter that mother-son duo are indeed regressive in outlook she could have easily backed off. Why so hurry to push a conclusion,.

    22. Sree

      Mita you’re absolutely right & witty.

    23. Nikita

      Prashant, I agree with you that some people are taking advantage of the so called “feminism.” But just because the other party does something that you don’t think is right doesn’t mean its ok for you to do the same. You talk as if its up to you whether its okay or not to decide if your partner is on equal footing with you or not. I might be reading you wrong, but that’s what came across to me. It isn’t up to you at all. That defeats the whole purpose of being on equal footing. If you have any expectations from your wife, then she can have the same for you or it’s invalid.
      Yes, a lot of people these days take advantage of a lot of things but just because there are people that don’t do the right things doesn’t change anything for the rest. We should all try to look each other in the eyes with equal footing regardless of whats happening in society.
      You ask if it’s wrong for you to expect your future wife to make coffee for you? I say yes, it’s wrong. Because with expectations, you’re saying that you deserve it, and you’re putting yourself above her. And who are you to say that its ok if your wife doesn’t know how to cook? Aren’t you just like the people that you complain about that want guys that make a lot of money. I say just look for a girl that can put you in your place but still help you out when needed. One that can support the household with you and you support each other. I like what you say at the end, that you want a partner to live and grow with. That isn’t egoistic at all.

    24. Prashant Kaushik

      We cant live without expectations. Not even for a minute. We humans are constantly evolving our expectations and trying to see ourself as how others would have seen of our acts. An American sociologist ‘Mead’ has written a great deal about it.
      What matters is how rigid or inflexible those expectations are.

      Its not me alone who would decide what constitute her equality. She would have her equal say. I am afraid you are deriving too much meaning from my sentences. I just want my wife to be less judgmental about such things and not imbibe the prejudices sustaining in the society. Why should my personal life get effected because of people who don’t even matter to us!!!

      I think I am a very fair man and will never put my wife in a situation where I myself wouldn’t like to be. I will treat her the same way as I may like to be treated. But if she continues to carry the relics and prejudices of society in her mind, and keeps looking at whatever I say from an act of suspicion, then I might feel that my goodness and efforts have been at a receiving end.

    25. Kanak

      That’s the point. There’s a need for reconceptualizing (or better yet, completely scrapping) the concepts of stereotypical gender roles, be it of a woman who cooks or of a man who must earn.
      Also, I’m against reservation so I agree with you on those counts. But I wouldn’t say the feminist agenda has lost its focus. The idea remains that of gender equality, not of female chauvinism.

    26. Kanksh

      Patriarchy works both ways. Traditional gender roles confine not only women but men too, exactly in the ways you stated. Please note that feminism strives for equality for women as well as men.
      This blog and the comments on it are helpful!http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/an-email-salary-of-the-prospective-groom-must-be-3-6-times-more-than-the-salary-of-the-prospective-bride/

    27. Megha

      hey! I get what you say but the idea here is very different and so is the treatment. A meek boy, pushy mother who equates settlement to coffee at home. It is just that. Nothing more, nothing less.

  4. krishna

    westernization – i would say….As long as girls expect boys to earn 6 digit salary, a car, a house, cash for weekend parties and movies , its no wrong for boys to expect girls to be good homemakers. I have seen many girls simply saving their earnings to buy Fashion, Jewelry and Cosmetics and expect Boy to run the house – whether you agree or not, please ask this question yourself. Are you fair in sharing the household expenses equally?

    Similarly If a boy expects his girl to do job and also manage house, its not fair. Firstly both of them should be clear on the responsibilities and readiness to share if one is not available. Personally I look to marry a girl who is a good homemaker and make a HAPPY HOME ( its a very difficult job ) and I would do anything to keep her happy. But if she is willing to do job, I wont stop as long as the relation is not disturbed. Even I am ok to sit at home and manage , but mind you most girls wont accept this 🙂 – they want boys to earn money.

    Simply compare the standard of live ( not in terms of money) now with our parents time. They have clear roles defined and they excel in their respective roles, all is well then. We are living in a confused state( ofcourse evolving). I am sure there comes a time when the end goal is reached ( goal as said in the above video) and we all come to an agreed state or realize that this evolution is not working and come back to the old style of living. Anything should be fine, but this state of transition is creating problems, i guess it takes another 15-20 years.

    The essence of marriage is neatly written in our history books, they are wisely destroyed by western civilization – DOT

    1. Mita

      Dude, you need to step into the 21st century! Where the hell is this fashion brigade? The working women I know have to manage their home, kids and jobs, while their husbands sit cosy in their ‘clearly defined roles’. Women are not one singular bunch, all of the same hue and dreams. Look for a nice girl, not some perfect home maker.

    2. Aks

      Mita, I think you are over-generalizing or are totally ignorant of the ground realities. I know men who have working wives(with or without kids) who share equal responsibility in everything, be it household chores, sharing the responsibility of the kids, etc., And the majority of them bear the biggest chunk of the financial burden that comes with running a house hold. So, if men can take equal responsibility in the things that I mentioned, why cannot women contribute financially ? But they won’t. Most working women want equal rights, equal responsibilities albeit without financial burden. How is that fair ? Is this not pseudo-feminism ?

    3. Kira

      Of course, this assumes that women have the same access to jobs and related financial benefits as men. I work for a recruitment agency, and the number of times I’ve been asked to screen candidates based on gender by a client is ridiculous. ‘Ladies’ won’t come in at 7 o’ clock, ladies have a home they need to manage, ladies will always think of their job as their second priority, ladies are too emotional, ladies do well in creative roles but not upper-level management, ladies cannot handle construction management jobs, Ladies will get married (while this does not affect their male counterparts, apparently), ladies will get pregnant and need maternity leave (again, babies leave the male half of the relationship completely free, again, apparently),etc. The reasons are as numerous as they are ridiculous and discriminatory, and are propagated by both men and women. It becomes especially difficult when women play to these stereotypes while wanting more rights, which they should demand, but hinder with their adherence to these things. But that is moving away from the point. I am, personally, sick of a system where assumptions are made about me due to my gender in the workspace. It doesn’t matter if I come in first and leave last, or if I take the least number of days of, and even when I don’t let my personal life interfere with my work. Just because I am a woman, I do not NEED to have a baby sometime in the future, which would necessitate maternity leave. And even if it does, I should be able to access upper-level management. There is definitely a glass ceiling that appears to be easy to ignore in this conversation.

      That said, I do not mean that women shouldn’t contribute equally to the household financially. They should. I come from a family where this is true, and I fully expect to be earning more than my partner because my career does come first. But that makes me undesirable on a marriage front because I’m too career minded! I can’t earn as much while fitting ‘good wifely qualities’ into my schedule. This just becomes more and more of a bind. The solution, clearly, is then to not get defensive and attempt to change the system instead of always trying to validate your own position within it.

      You’re not the bad guy/ woman. You’re just the annoying one who prefers to whine and defend themselves while not doing anything to make the change. Harsh, but true (and I know because I fall prey to it too. Proof: read the top half of this comment. Totally defending my position).

    4. Philosopher

      If the social definitions/expectations of a man’s and woman’s role in marriage are set aside, I am highly confident that there are enough men out there who would prefer a nurturing role to that of the bread earner, just as there are women who prefer to bear the financial burden of a family to the emotional one. Unfortunately, a man who is willing to stand up and say “I would rather nurture my family” is ridiculed to a greater extent than a woman who says “I would rather be the bread earner.” Despite the parental expectations of finding a “mom” for their son, a girl who wants a balanced professional and personal life still has the chance to meet the boy, who just might be a nurturer. However, a boy who is extremely accomplished in household chores, whose heart-felt desire is to “baby” his wife and kids, wont get to meet the girl unless and until he meets the reasonable paycheck requirement. How then is a boy expected to state openly how he views himself, in face of ridicule and rejection. How too, is a girl expected to learn of such a boy if she don’t even get a chance to meet him?
      Having been through an arranged marriage, I know they can work marvelously. The biggest catch with arranged marriage however, is that parents look for the type of girl/boy for their son/daughter who in “their” thinking is worthy of their offspring. If you are going through arranged marriage with the feeling that your parents will find happiness in being part of one of the most important decisions of your life–who you marry–then do yourself and them a favor and let them know your expectations of your prospective spouse. Boys, if you are perfectly fine with taking care of your kids at home when they are young, while your wife brings home the paycheck, find your voice and tell your parents. While you may face ridicule from some, you will get a standing ovation from a lot of girls out there. Girls, if you are fine with being the bread-earner in the family while your husband took care of the emotional well-being of you and your kids, explicitly state it to your parents to not make a boy’s paycheck a criteria for consideration as a potential groom. Whether or not your parents take your views into consideration is totally up to them–some can be openminded enough to accept your view while others might be more set in their views and have a difficult time accepting yours–but well-informed parents are better than oblivious ones.
      A stay-at-home dad is not necessarily an obnoxious and lazy man, just as a working woman is not necessarily self-serving. The only way to put a stop to this stereotypic, misconceived notion of gender roles is to think hard and form a opinion on what you think your role should be in your life, state your opinion and stand by it.

  5. shah

    Why do you think that house keeping or taking care of kids is inferior work ? Yes, it shoukd not exoected to serve anyone, but nurture future if family is superior and more important then earning money.

    1. Soumya

      I don’t feel that this ad is indicating that housework is inferior. All it is pointing out is that don’t expect a wife to serve her husband. If she does make coffee for him, it will be because she wants to, not because it is expected of her.

    2. Kanksh

      If the work is indeed considered superior then everyone should be eagerly participating in house keeping!

  6. Amar Sinha

    Run like hell buddy, this one seems like a ball cutter…

    1. Nikita

      I don’t mean to come across as taking it too personal because I realize that you’re making a joke, but that was still very uncalled for. Just because she can stand up for herself doesn’t mean that she’s going to totally control her future husband. Maybe you’ll be satisfied with a spouse that is very meek but I admire the lady that had the courage to stand up for herself and not let herself be treated like a tool.
      Again, I realize you made a joke, but to me, it seems slightly degrading.

  7. Sree

    Is it just a coincidence that the would be mother-in-law set the premise for the discussion? I don’t think the would be father-in-law was in picture anywhere. Was it a proud mother boasting about how incapable her son was, just to prove some point, while the embarrassed son was trying to stop her. I am not being prejudiced or generalizing anything, but wasn’t it a woman who was disrespecting another here?

    1. Nikita

      The issue isn’t about male vs female but rather gender roles in society. And yes, the mother-in-law and the groom were also stereotypes in this video but it’s specifically targeting the role of housewives, which it got across brilliantly.
      The issue isn’t that it was a woman was the one that was being disrespectful but rather that this is what is expected of these future wives in this culture.

  8. No Country For Women

    We are making a documentary feature on the same subject, We are the makers of this video which went viral recently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt1Rhd_sRhg We will be exploring gender stereotypes and gender equality. If any of you would like to speak your mind on this subject, contact us on nocountryforwomen at gmail dot com Send us a short comment on this subject and we will contact you back. This will be a video interview and we will shoot at your preferable location.

  9. Neil

    I’m not an ATM, but try telling my wife or any of my past girlfriends that. Gender stereotypes work both ways, but this seems to be conveniently forgotten by a lot of women.

    1. Nikita

      Oh pish posh. If you don’t want to be an ATM, don’t associate with people like that. You’re a full grown man and you can make your own decisions. Yes gender stereotypes work both ways, but everyone has to admit that it has been the most harmful for females in the past and although it’s been addressed, we’re nowhere near equality as we should be, especially in places like India.

    2. Prativa Joshi

      Agree with you Neil. You are not her ATM only and she is not your kitchen appliance only as well. Therefore, work together to support each other to become ATM and kitchen appliance for each other.

    3. Rutika

      A person can only treat you as an ATM if you allow it. And since you claim it, I would say you are the one who let them do it. And are you sure you didn’t treat them as ‘kitchen appliances’??
      Stereotypes were created by this society and that is exactly what we intend on breaking free of. Stop being off handed and work towards being correct yourself first.

  10. Bhavin

    I guess “saari fasaad ki jadd yeh tea/coffee hai”. Stop drinking that and the problem will be solved 🙂 Joking.

    Coming to the serious point raised in the ad and some serious points made here against it. Both well balanced and sensible. But I think the ad may not be at all about the new generation. If you watch it carefully, you will see its the future MIL that’s initiating the wrong side of the conversation. You also see how the guy is embarrassed. So its about our parents who are still in their old world. Not to say that its ok for them to do this but we all know how difficult it is some times to make them understand that the world is changing (some of it for better). So I guess if the girl and the boy both agree to work it out, there will be no problem. I believe we all are changing and I hope to see this change in the majority of the Indians one day.

    1. Soumya

      It’s also about the son who is embarrassed, yes, but doesn’t speak up. He could have said, “Women are not coffee makers”, couldn’t he?

      Yes, this ad does encourage women to speak up when they feel they are being discriminated against. It encourages women to not be prejudiced against other women or suppress them. What it doesn’t do is encourage men to speak up when they see such discrimination happening. I would have loved it if they made another ad where the guy speaks up.

  11. rachita

    Outstandingly brilliant!! To all the stereotypes!!!

  12. medha sardesai.

    I happen to visit this page accidentally but like it .It has given me an insight in the world of today’s youth.thoughts expressed on this page are really very new fresh value based yet liberal .This will probably help me to understand my sons who are in youth stage like you all. Bravo keep it up .I wish you good luck .

  13. Ganesh Iyer

    Its a great ad! But unfortunately parents will push their daughters as coffee makers and wet grinders to US grooms. Social change comes from awareness and action from everyone. There seems to be a need in the Indian society to ‘unload the burden’ of a daughter and give her in marriage for the fear that her she may engage in sexual activity before marriage. (Great article in this site ‘Why Is The Patriarchal Structure Working Overtime To Silence Women’s Right To Sexual Pleasure?’). As long as parents consider their daughters ‘burden’, and guys want ‘coffee makers’ , girls would be the coffee makers willingly or unwillingly. Formal education changed India in the 40 years I have lived. Awareness should do the next. I will say I am guilty of social conditioning, but every-time I see a video or read an article I wake up and even more important, I eliminate the social conditioning of the next generation which is what will sustain social change.

  14. Mita

    Oh the comment section more than proves the point the ad is making. So, the MIL picking a coffee making wife should be acceptable because it is a woman targeting another woman? And I must ‘prove’ my love by cooking and coffee making? While all the gentlemen here are busy pointing out how the modern wife pampers herself while the husband slogs, they actually show the sheer blindness and prejudice they have towards women, both working and home makers. In office they wouldn’t like their women colleagues to act like the mother she is, but when it comes to their own wife, she must put the family first! And it is the home maker who is the most disrespected here. She is there to make coffee and ‘prove’ her love. As if she has no dreams that go beyond the four walls of her home! Why is to so wrong to expect my husband to make his own bloody COFFEE?!!

    1. abhishek dan

      Kindly do not reproduce

    2. Nikita

      What? Does it seem like she hit a sore spot?

    3. Mita

      uhhh too late! And oh yes, it was an arranged marriage, I cook and make tea everyday. But when I don’t, my husband does. Its called marriage.

    4. psingh

      Kindly DIE!

    5. Ruchi Mathur

      Not sure about her but you should definitely not till you change your views and learn to respect the others wishes.

  15. Divy

    I loved the description more than the video 😀

  16. Mrs. m00ng

    What next? An article titled “I am not a baby making factory” Men should share responsibility of pregnancy – Men should get pregnant etc etc?

    Please make a more balanced view – not the JNU type activism. The article tries to de-mean the profession of a ‘home maker’ – which is tougher than BEING A STREET ACTIVIST or doing work in an office. Any idiot can do work in office or protest in the streets. Try handling 2 hyper kids or toddlers for full 24 hours to understand the difficulty involved. Article sort of hints at all women leaving their homes and joining street protests of activists!

    Please grow up. It is perhaps your mom was not a good home-maker that she taught you to de-mean the home-makers around the world in the name of activism,.

    Mrs. M00ng

    1. Soumya

      The advertisement is NOT demeaning homemakers. If it said something like, “What, you girl, you are only good for making coffee? What use is that?” Now that would be called demeaning homemakers. And I agree with you, being a homemaker (and specially, a Mom) is an extremely difficult job to do. Being a parent at all, Mom or Dad, is difficult, and something that a many Moms and Dads fail at being.

      But coming back to the advertisement: what it is trying to point out is that typically, in Indian arranged marriages, the default expectation when looking for a girl is that she should be a homemaker. The boy’s Mom in the ad says that she wants him to settle down (get married) because even for a cup of coffee, he needs to step out and buy it at some store. Which implies that she assumes that once he is married, his wife will make him coffee whenever he wants (without considering whether his future wife, whoever she may be, would want to make coffee or not). The only reason she wants her son to be married is so that he can have someone to cook for him whenever he wants. And THAT is demeaning women of any profession (including homemakers), because that’s not all a woman is good for. A woman is worth so much more than cooking for a man. If she does choose to be a homemaker and cook for her family, it is because being a homemaker is what maker her happy, making her family happy is the most important thing to her, and not because her husband or in-laws expect her to do it.

      Being a homemaker is a choice, not a mandate. That is what the ad is pointing out. Respect women. Don’t expect them to make coffee for you just because you want coffee. They will make coffee for you when they want to.

    2. Soumya

      And yes, women really aren’t baby making factories. Factory is something whose sole job is to manufacture whatever product it was built to manufacture. In this case, it would imply that women’s sole job is to produce babies. Really? Are they supposed to be capable of nothing else and producing babies is the only measure of a woman’s birth? Absolutely NOT!

      And yes, men MUST share responsibility of pregnancy. That does not mean they must get pregnant. The responsibility of a pregnancy is not just to bear the child in a womb, but to also taking care of the person bearing the child, which is the woman. She will be tired, hormonal, stressed. The man’s job is to ensure that she is comfortable and has a stress-free environment to support her through her pregnancy. This MAY (or may not, if the woman feels she can handle it and really does want to handle it herself) involve the man taking over all or part of the housework to ensure the woman gets adequate rest. This will also involve emotional support in a variety of forms, like entertaining her when she is stressed to bring down her stress levels, etc.

    3. Latika

      Hi Soumya,
      I like how you have refuted Mrs. m00ng 🙂 I agree mostly with you.
      However, I think if a person made coffee only when he felt like it, its for himself…if you are making coffee for someone else it has to be when that person feels like it…otherwise whats the point. 🙂
      You make coffee when you feel like it and shove it down the partner’s throat because that is when you wanted to make coffee….that doesn’t serve the purpose.
      I think both partners should do things for each other sometimes when they don’t feel like it too….for instance, a man may not feel like taking care of the wife during her mood swings in pregnancy but thats something he has to if he is a responsible caring man….and he will do that whether or not he feels like it. Similarly with women sometimes we may have to do things when we don’t feel like it too. The most important thing is respect and appreciation for women….that is where our so called traditional society lacks many times.
      Whats bad, is putting women down, telling them you are supposed to do this and that and all and men don’t have any obligations at all. Been through a really bad time with my husband so sort of been there.

    4. Prashant

      You are getting it completely wrong. The ad makes fun of the boy who cant even make a cup of cofee and his mother who wants him to settle so that someone can do his work..It doesnt demean the prospetive DIL..

  17. koni

    Equality in Marriage means
    both partners are free to earn as much as they want to and free to achieve individual career goals.
    They work out a way to contribute to the household income and love and respect each other.
    no pressure of having children by a certain age, no pressure on the wife to have “a boy” (Consider adoption – reduce population, save abandoned children.)
    no dowry demand from girl, no hefty salary demand from guy – in fact the only thing to demand before an arranged marriage should be an HIV blood-test.
    both partners can live with their parents after marriage if they wish to. (Do you think only married men have parents? Sigh.)
    both partners divide household work equally/take equal responsibility when hired help is on leave.
    both partners can be of the same gender/sexual orientation. (Courtesy 377 this is an impossible dream.)

    When this happens in India – such advertisements will become obsolete.

    At the end of the day marriage is as customisable as two people want it to be. Stop fooling others, stop fooling yourself, be honest about your expectations from the marriage. For every man looking for a house-wife I am sure there exists a woman who wants only to take care of the household and has no career aspirations. For every working woman looking for a supportive man who won’t pressurise her into living with in-laws, I am sure there exists such a man who enjoys making her a cup of coffee every morning. Just be honest and be clear about what you want. 🙂

  18. healthywomen

    What crap.really did this girl get married at all.what attitude.I’m married with a toddler.if making ur husband hot food or coffee is big responsibility don’t marry.the silliest video I’ve ever seen.did the mother in law ask for a house for her son.this guy doesnt have any respect for his own mother.he ll prob let his wife treat her like crap.

    Stop talking women’s rights without properly understanding what it truly means.

    Arranged marriage is matchmaking without internet.that’s the way I see it as I also had arranged marriage. If you can trust meeting a girl in a bar or online.why can’t u trust ur parents that looked after u for many many years.

    if like westeners you had got kicked out by ur parents at 18.if u never got help more than 1 month during your wifes pregnancy.you would know the value of your mom or any mother in law.

    Women be proud of yourself.love your husband so your marriage is safe.love your children more than your career so that your home is safe.ego and crap videos can’t save them.

    What matters in the end? Is that your husband and children loved u or you made boat load of money? Do they remember you were kind to ur mil or that your big ego went blasting through the roof? Women kind patient selfless.don’t worry a husband well loved will handle everything. This is the truth.satyagraha didn’t win freedom without reason.

    Person who posted this.please dont misguided people.very sad were ur values came from.

    1. Administrator

      I will also ask from where did your value come?

      don’t spoil the complete social structure.
      One of my student said miss you all use to enjoy going to the movies. I never saw my mother going to see movie. She did not lead life like you all.
      I replied your mother has now 3 engineer children. What other enjoyment or proud she need to feel?
      She has a great achievement . I have just seen movies. my children are not engineers.

      So what ever parents will do children will fatch.

    2. Chandu

      Well, crap, I watch movies. Does this mean my kids won’t be smart and successful? Even though I’m going to be a doctor? And want to do good in the world? And teach my kids to do the same? And teach them how to love life and live it like it’s the most precious thing in the world?

      No? Well, phooey. Maybe I just won’t have kids at all! Maybe I won’t add to the huge overpopulation crisis that’s headed our way (as in EARTH’s way, not just India’s). And maybe… Just maybe, I’ll live life, have great fun, do some good, and die happy knowing I didn’t bring stupid, sexist, misguided, mindless, passionless, non-engineering kids into the world. 🙂

    3. Shivani Patel

      Healthywomen, I think you should stop talking if you don’t know the first thing about western culture. Here, we treat people EQUALLY. You probably think it’s absurd that a man would make coffee for his girlfriend or wife. People like you are the reason many south asians are ashamed or embarrassed to be a part of Indian culture.

      Also, westerners don’t “kick their 18 year olds out of the home” – they allow them to grow into actual adults so that they can live a life independently. Unlike the Indian culture, where you are basically treated like a child your ENTIRE life, or at least until the parents are too old to take care of themselves. It is pathetic. Getting help during your wife’s pregnancy depends on whether or not you have responsible and helpful parents, not their race.

      This video is a GREAT example of women’s rights, especially in Indian culture. If a man cannot make his own god damn coffee – he really is good for NOTHING. What kind of gentleman would expect his wife to baby him like that? Also – what is wrong with going out and buying a cup of coffee? We are all privileged in America, and we work hard for our money – so why should we be questioned as to where we spend OUR OWN HARD EARNED money? If I want to buy a cup of tea or coffee every day, then I will – regardless of whether or not I have a coffee maker, or basically, a SLAVE to do it for me.

      As for a girl like that, she will get married to someone who treats her with RESPECT. And in turn, she will show them respect. She would definitely NEVER marry a loser who can’t do simple tasks without the help of a woman.

      The guy “doesn’t have respect” for his mother, because she expects him to be babied. Will he really ever get the chance to grow up and BE A MAN with her acting like that?

      Arranged marriages are often no longer “trusted” because it is not the parents job to determine the rest of your life. You know what makes YOU happy, it’s your job to find a partner. And who is to say any of these women want children? Their lifelong dream may be to find an amazing career and never have children. Don’t generalize.

      Grow the hell up, and stop being the stereotype we all hate. It’s sad WHERE YOUR VALUES COME FROM. Obviosuly, you are too ignorant to see how the world has changed and see that people can think for themselves rather than being herded like a bunch of cattle. People are more educated and respectful now than they were wherever and whenever you came from.

      PS. A real man will not let his wife treat his mother disrespectfully NOR will he let his mother treat his wife like crap.

    4. healthywomen

      Miss Shivani,
      Stop being in your imaginary world and come back to reality.

      No I don’t consider it absurd that a man/guy would make coffee for his wife/gf,infact many indians in the current year wouldn’t,as many indian guys abroad are probably better cooks than their wives,which is a very good majority,my very own included.

      I’ve lived in US for many years now to  qualify to talk about western civilization.
      Westerners allow their children to become Independent!! HAve you seen Teen Mom,Did you see Justin Bieber,Lindsey Logan?What nonsense.Please ON your TV.
      Have you seen Jerry Springer,Maury Show(My Indian friends watch 3 episodes online then tell me),Dr.Phils.Do we have this in india at this ratio?

      See the number of successful indian youth to successful western youth.If you don’t you can see with the number of colleges and graduates in india.

      So if a guy cannot make COFFEE .He is good for nothing!!Isnt that what you said,you probably dont know it too, so does that mean, YOU ARE A GOOD FOR NOTHING!You probably dont know manythings.So ARE YOU A GOOD FOR NOTHING??WHAT A BIG SIZED ATTITUDE!!That you would demean somebody.

      You probably don’t have kids or american friends with kids,if you did, you would know their struggle,you would see those super moms..So PARENTS ARE HELPFUL AND RESPONSIBLE IF THEY HELP YOU DURING PREGNANCY (Meaning its their job,responsibility=job ) but its not their job to find your spouse..This person has become so americanized that she wants to use them when she wants them.Have you seen the criticism, Obama faces for student loan,the one you didnt even had to worry about, thanks to your parents.What kind of imbalanced statements.

      If my parents helped in finding my husband doesnt mean I don’t know what I want ,It means I respect them and their feelings enough to be a part of my life and their wisdom and love for my brighter future.

      “GIRL – THEIR LIFELONG DREAM MAYBE TO FIND AMAZING CAREER ANd NEVER HAVE CHILDREN” –Really are you in this world.What a Joke.Put this in a dating profile not even westerners would give a second glance.Please be realistic.

      Btw I m a professional with 7 yrs work experience at home and abroad well educated from one of the prestigious universities back home.Who has proudly let go of my high paying job to be with my baby.So yeah I have no clue what I m talking about.

      An absolutely proud mom,proud wife,proud daughter in law,proud daughter.My education,my Vaules have made me not rich in money but good relationships.And I still cant make coffee after these many years of marriage.

      We have come from mother in laws harassing wives to wives harassing mil’s and for what A CUP OF COFFEE!This is what this ad is about.

      If you dont like the guy reject him and move on,its not like every guy you met was horrible.Be FAIR!!Nobody is forcing you to become a slave

      If you see the world black its black,if you see it with GOOD ATTITUDE everything is RIGHT!!!

    5. Chandu

      Re: “Teen Mom, Justin Bieber, Lindsey Lohan, etc.”: Wow, you want to talk about media’s representation of cultures? Okay, how about the fact that 99.9% of Bollywood movies don’t actually have a role for women? They’re just there as eye-candy? How about the fact that some of our GREATEST actresses end up doing simple, cheap item-girl roles in movies and no one bats an eyelash? How about the fact that a movie like Gulaab Gang was made with two of India’s most RENOWNED actresses and apparently no one cared because there was no male lead? You still want to tell me that women aren’t being horribly mistreated in India? Or are you going to say that movies and TV don’t represent a culture properly? You can’t have it go both ways.

      Re: “Independent children, and # of college grads in India vs America”: Independence and strength have nothing to do with how successful you are/how rich you are/how educated you are. Strength of character comes from your morals, how you treat people, how you live life, who you ARE as a person. So… no, I don’t care how many people graduate school in India versus America. Having a good job/salary tells me absolutely nothing about YOU as a person. People get a job just like they drink, eat, and sleep… to survive. Especially so in India.

      Re: “‘I don’t want to have children’ being unrealistic life goal and how even western dudes wouldn’t want that”: Wow, YOU be realistic. Yeah… women have a role OTHER than bringing babies into the world – I know, it’s SHOCKING, but true – and “western”/”American” people understand that! And, oh, yeah! People get married for reasons OTHER than having children. Reasons like… um… love? So, yeah, we’re being hella-realistic here. I know it’s hard for you to admit, but CHILDREN AREN’T THE END-ALL, BE-ALL! We do have a right to live our lives for OURSELVES and not for children (especially if we don’t want them)!

    6. Vasavi

      Sorry but this advt was not about the girl making coffee for the guy. You missed the entire point. This is about what a guy should come seeking for when he looks for a bride…………for a partner to share their lives’ with each other. Please don’t write things without understanding the crux of a message made in 35 sec.

    7. Ruchi Mathur

      Let me put things in perspective here.
      It is not the cup of tea but the attitude here. The guy living alone cannot make a cup of tea for himself? Would you tolerate the same if a single working girl did that? Why the gender discrimination here?
      Ah! I am sure your would argue girls have to be trained from a young age to submit to the husbands wishes,give up her dreams and take care of her children. Saving a marriage is the womans responsibility and the man would love her only if she cooks for him n manages his house.
      Can a man not love her for being herself, living her life…being an individual.

      This is not about westernisation. It is about wrong thinking which people like you define as Indian culture. Such a shame.
      And yes, I am a scientist by profession,I treat my husband and mother-in-law with respect, we are best pals, my husband does change my sons diapers. I love cooking so I do cook but he isn’t a bad cook. He does help me in the kitchen.
      Lack of values or respect in my family.

  19. Alok

    So, her mom was a baby producing machine. Her father was a money minting machine.
    And what else….this could go on forever. the list is endless.

  20. Michael Dave

    Mr. Akhil Kumar, you may be very “passionate” but you are clearly neither “COMpassionate” nor wise as your words and statements are full of hate and stupidity.

    In a “traditional” home, the man works and brings home the money and the wife takes care of the home and children. It is division of labor.

    1. Ruchi Mathur

      What if the wife wants to work? Her dreams sacrificed just because the man of the house wants it that way?
      When they have kids the mother would and always will take care. That is how nature has made her to be. Doesnt mean the man cannot help with household chores.
      In a family, the Man and Woman must complement each other. If she is cooking he can take care of the kids while she is doing that. When he is doing the dishes she can take care of the kids. Why should she work in the office and do everything at home while he throws his socks around/? Just because the Indian system is that way? Its a practice not a rule. Needs change.

    2. pradeep

      You are referring to case of a bad husband. What about a normal middle-class homemaker supported by a maid for her chores (cooking, washing vessels, cleaning house) and modern machines grinder/mixie/washing machine or even coffee machine/dryers/dish washers. Just think about the older generation (my mother) who didn’t even have this luxury. Just compare the case of bad husband to the one I have mentioned above. Which is more probable.

      My two cents :
      Don’t fall prey to these company ads. They are exploiting women empowerment for their financial empowerment. They should try to improve their quality first before trying to lure women customers with these cheap tricks. FYI – I had a pathetic experience after I bought havells wires (which actually caught fire!!).

    3. Chandu

      Can I divide the labor another way? I’d be happy bringing home the money if my husband will do the work at home!! Heck, I’d make him the BEST husband ever!! 😀

  21. Administrator

    Indian women are not suppose to do what all women were doing in India a generation before. Then listen my answer. They have to b e ready to have a divorce paper in their hand. As western women have it. 58% of high school children come from single parent family. Women can call 911 but that too takes 15 minutes. Tab tak men mun tor diya ja sakta hai. Police aakar madam ko le jayegee. The divorce process. Narrate your sad story to everybody and gain sympathy. So why not be the queen of the castle. Manage everything equally administratively?

    This is division of labour done in this manner .It suits the family. In name of westernization of women I have seen very closely children living with father for a week, mother another week one weekend with maternal grand parents. And next weekend with paternal grand parents.

    I live in Quebec. Where parents divorced that was one generation. Now their children are not marrying they have seen divorce they say I don’t believe in marriage. 60% under 40 are in concobine relations. My ideas may be you will not like but women are women and they should act as women not like a man because they are not man.They are not as muscular as man.They can not win the man. In western countries as many women’s shelters are there they are not in India.

    All those women have their story if their revolt gave them this shelter’s life then they had to be tactfull and stey at home as queen of the castle. I work in shelters. I have seen those women I have seen their children’s pain. The nomadic life. Let Indian women stey women don’t make them man

    1. Rutika

      Sir, your concern for indian women and women in general is appreciated but I would like to point out a simple fact that it is highly misguided. No woman is out there to become a man as you so succinctly put. We don’t wish to be muscled and brawny like men. We certainly don’t wish to ‘win’ against them. All we want is the respect that we deserve. It’s simple really- I shall respect those who respect me. And women are realising this and acting on it. There is nothing wrong in standing up for yourself.
      Your points of divorce rates and children’s plight are correct. But wouldn’t you agree that a marriage is a two-sided affair? You can’t blame women for fighting for what’s right. If only men understood and accepted that women are meant to be cherished and not treated like crap, there wouldn’t be so much drama in this world and definitely not such a high divorce rate!
      You say women should live like a queen but the irony here is that women are placed on pedestals in title only and are treated as free slaves!
      If this is how people think even in this generation, I think the younger generation is absolutely right in steering clear of marriage.
      Try and understand what the video was actually about by keeping your highly prejudiced opinions aside!

    2. pradeep

      It’s the mother-in-law who is doing all the talking in the video? Isn’t she a women? As rightly put, Women are their own worst enemies. There will be diverse views within women based on what they role they are playing. In other words, the daughter-in-law in this ad would behave the same way as the mother-in-law when she tries to her son married.

      FYI about divorce cases (Dowry harassment cases), Supreme court itself has accepted that 98% of dowry harassment cases are false and are for extortion of money. What people dont realize that there are also women on suffering side (mothers, sisters of married men). In the name of women empowerment, Politicians bring mindless marriage laws to get votes, companies sell their products, media improve their TRP ratings. Don’t fall prey to this.

      If you want to change the perception about women, all women have to lead the change.

    3. Vasavi

      If you are a man it is not a surprise that you have expressed these views……….if you are a woman, then the women in our country are so dominated over because some women like you, allow it.

    4. Latika

      I agree with Rutika, if this is what this generation men think like, then its good that the youth steer clear of marriage. You think if women are going to be like that they should be ready to live in a shelter or else be ready to take the beating or else do what it takes to avoid the beating….ie be subservient to the man.

    5. Nidhi Shah

      You state that women are not strong enough, yet you forget about the great women warriors such as Nakano Takeko, Razia Sultana, Rani Lakshmibai and many more! who fought alongside men for freedom and rights. You forget about the agonizing pain your own mother had to go through so she can give birth to you, women are very strong and make many sacrifices and in return all they are demanding is to be treated with equality, and if our society cant given them that then shame on this society! Women are not trying to beat men we are simply trying to fight for equality. It is far better for children to be raised in a single parent household than to live in a household where there is inequality and fighting for what is right is considered wrong!

    6. Sahil

      I beg to differ here. What difference does and arranged or a love marriage make. If your marriage does not work out in either ways, blaming anyone isn’t going to solve your problems. The problem isn’t about people being western or eastern. The problem is with people not being able to stand up for themselves. I have personally seen a lot of arranged marriages where the whole world was involved go down the toilet. If you can’t live with some a divorce is the only way. Indians and going to become western just because they had a love marriage or don’t listen to their family or by citing divorce rates in the west as a bad thing. Indians have a habit of clinging on to relationships and make them work even if they are going down the toilet. And this is why divorce rates are lower in India.

    7. a Proud Woman

      You disgust me. I feel sorry for the wome n in your family

    8. Chandu

      Jeez, what’s the big deal with getting married anyway? If someone finds love and decides to get married, then AWESOME! If not… big whoop, who cares?

      Also, there aren’t as many women’s shelters in India because we STILL haven’t recognized that women are being grossly mistreated in homes. If they are, they just put up with it because anything else will get them shunned from society. Seriously, a girl gets raped and commits suicide because she can’t go out in public again? A wife drags her drunk husband home and doesn’t complain about it because all guys get drink now and then? A woman gets abused (physically or emotionally) by her in-laws and/or her husband but stays in the marriage because he has no other option? Uh… What?!?

      I think Americans use divorce way too much, but Indians don’t use it enough!! All because they’re afraid of what “society will say.”

  22. Administrator

    shameless add. They don’t know the pleasure of making and drinking cofee together. Cofee can be made by men or women . The process of making bring couple more and more together.

    1. Vasavi

      True, that is why the girl gave the guy the coffee maker, so that they could make coffee ‘together’……….and if he opted not to have visa problems, he could go with the option of picking just the coffee maker alone…………

  23. Administrator

    The biggest demerit point of love marriage is
    1. If you can do a work you can dare to undo the work.
    2. In arrange marriage if things are not working 100% then blame the parents that what did they see. But in love marriage it is so frustrating to realise how and why did i choose this person. I will say this can lead to frustration even sucide too.
    3. Arrangemarriage is not local so brides parents are not there to guide her. And if they guide why will she not listen to them? They are her parents. But do the parents guide always good for the couple. No they think more about their daughter than the son-in-law.
    So arrange marriage is good. ( no Sstem is perfect but,,,,,,,,,,)

  24. shaz

    Liked the advert. But, here is one thing? What percentage of people does this apply to. I am pretty sure with the dawn of new times the gender differences have reduced quite a lot. Today, some of our top corporations are being run by women. I would take this advert with a pinch of salt. Cause, it is using the standard formula” Bash the status quo . It works every time dosen’t it. But liked it nevertheless

  25. Adithya

    XYZ who has written the strong words and labels is among many who like to lick the west-boots …shameless
    All such buggers who want to embrace western practices – pl get out of this country so that you get more boots to lick…

    Such Indians are considered ‘faithful dogs’ by many westerners…

    Bhaarat key liye swaabhiman nahin hi to woh west ki kutta hi…..bhaukta raheyga

    1. locksley444

      You sound eerily similar to chatur ramalingam with your hindi, and as ignorant as some of our politicians are with respect to women’s rights. Beware, Balaatkaar na ho jaye 😀

    2. Ruchi Mathur

      So you are Indian because you decide what a woman should do i.e. force/ suppression. Great!
      Thank God India is a democracy and people who love to dictate terms cannot drive anybody else out of the country.
      No one here is going to massage your ego. Please relax and think.

    3. Adithya

      Who ever hates this country need not stay ….pl get lost than to stay hating….
      Qualifier: WHO EVER HATES……

    4. Chandu

      Umm, pretending that you even know what you’re talking about… Woof woof!! I’d rather be a beloved dog than a cast-aside slave!

  26. Vasavi

    Marvellous, simply put — but conveyed very clearly. Most often, it is better to convey important issues this way. Then there is no room for dispute.

  27. tanmaya

    Awesome…am proud of every gal who stands up to this nonsense

  28. Shilpi

    Mr Adithya..cud not take that women want to be empowered…typical male superiority complex…be it west or east….women should hv thier own dignity n pride …..and that wat the writer wants to emphasise..for those whu dont understand..sud stay away…n lick their traditional stereotyping and sick minds!!

  29. Adithya

    Shilpi,
    Unfortunately, you have low self-respect and self-esteem. Otherwise, your understanding of preparing coffee would not define your dignity. If it was the case, house-maker wives wouldn’t have self-dignity. I was talking abt ppl like u only…

    Have swabhimaan and don’t embrace west blindly to become like below:

    AMERICAN LIFE STYLE..
    ——————————
    DAUGHTER: Sorry Dad, I got married
    yesterday.. Forgot to invite U..
    DAD: U naughty.. It’s Ok.. But Don’t forget
    next Time..
    .
    ——————————
    Population Comparison :
    ————————–
    INDIAN : I hav 4 sis & 3 bro. Wat abt U?
    AMERICAN : I hav no sis or bro.
    Bt I hav 4 Moms from 1st dad, 3 dads from
    1st mom…
    Britisher : Y u indians differ in colors, look
    we R all white..?
    AbdulKalam: Horses r in different colors but
    donkeys r all the same..!

    1. Varenya

      dude, give it a rest, stop making a fool of yourself

    2. Adithya

      Who is fool – the one who wrote what Abdul Kalam said or the one who is not able to understand it?

    3. Chandu

      Correction… American lifestyle:

      Daughter: Dad, I decided to marry this guy. The wedding’s in a couple of months.
      Dad: that’s fantastic, honey! Need help paying for it?
      Daughter: No, dad, you’ve raised me to be independent and self-sufficient, so I can pay for my own wedding! Also, my fiancé will pitch in for half the wedding because (do I even have to justify this?) that’s only fair. I just want you there because I love you. Not because you have to wash the guy’s feet or bow down before his family because you’re from the bride’s side.
      Dad: sounds great, honey. I’ll be there for you, always, no matter who you decide to marry or when.

    4. Adithya

      Lickers of west-shit….

    5. Adithya

      Hope she will call him for her upcoming many weddings in the same manner….

      India is moving in the same direction, because ppl like you who don’t understand the marriage beyond washing guy’s feet….it is a HINDU religious rite and should be respected for what it is…It is understood that you failed to know more about HINDU marriages….

    6. Chandu

      Do you know WHY the bride’s family washes the groom’s feet? Do you know why the bride touches her husband’s feet for ‘aashirwaad’ multiple times during the wedding? Please, explain it to me because the reasoning I’ve heard thus far is that the ‘groom is considered God’. And if that’s the reasoning you give me, please tell me why I should consider a simple man god when he doesn’t consider me a goddess? And if he does, then why the hell aren’t his parents washing *my* feet? Why isn’t he touching *my* feet for blessings?

      And tell me something: what is wrong with getting married more than once? A man and woman fall in love with each other. They decide to get married. Five, ten, twenty years later they can’t keep each other happy anymore. They get divorced. The man and/or woman falls in love with someone else. They get married. They keep each other happy. At the end of the day, people are HAPPY. So, what’s so bad about a divorce if it allows two people to be HAPPY?

      I strongly believe people need to give everything they’ve got to a marriage, just like they need to give everything they’ve got to ANYTHING important in their lives. They need to try their hardest to keep each other happy. But if that’s not enough, why must they stay together? Why torture each other? The only thing *I’d* be concerned about with divorces are the children. The parents have a responsibility to make sure their children are not adversely affected in the divorce. But setting the matter of children aside (let’s say they never had kids), then tell me: what the hell is wrong with a divorce other than the fact that it’s somehow offending YOU? — though God knows why!

    7. Chandu

      Oh, by the way, you’re not the ONLY person who can be so unbelievably offensive as to call others west-shit lickers. I can call you an Indian-shit licker, too, but I’m not a total douche bag. 🙂

  30. Gulnar

    I’m struggling to protect my rights by myself in Kazakhstan now. Two days, in May 14 and 15, the KNB was gassing violently my flat. In this case it was without smell, but I had allergic cough and fell to sleep entire days and when I got up to go I felt rock. There are many watchers outside and in the shop. Why?! Did PM of M’sia came to Kazakhstan to check his teen wife’s, fmr “m’s kazakh 2011” home place?! My relatives totally pressed and blackmailed. I think, the idling and low educated KNB got a next book to make a good family and background for fmr teen prostitute and wife of PM of M’sia and press down my family. The Malaysian authorities with Kazakh felt free doing harm against me, because there were set going Human traffic between two countries. When I struggled in M’sia to get a asylum and protect there, some Malaysian authorities told me about Human traffic from Kazakhstan.

  31. 007

    It’s not about embracing western culture Ms. Adithya (if you realize, you are overthinking)! its about breaking the regressive patriarchal lines of the society and giving women the respect we deserve (and by doing that we are not being subservient to the westerners!) . All cultures ,including India, deserve that! Don’t you think?

    1. Adithya

      Neutrality and rationality can not have disagreements, while politicizing simple things are not acceptable. People are free to choose their paths – no need to insult and teach each other… the girl shouldn’t simply participate if that’s out of her principle…same will apply to other sex….

    2. Shivam

      I see you participating to insult. The wind blows both ways.

    3. ooo

      i think i know you

  32. Narayan

    Independent women want to free for love and sex ,responsibility to duty .they want to make own rule ,its hindu bharShana of new. Samaaj. ‘Bira bhogsya basundhara they (women) want to be BIR !

    1. Adithya

      Correct. Pl elaborate and make these fools understand a bit more….

  33. Monistaf

    Sure, she is not a kitchen appliance as long as he is not a ATM machine. I fully endorse and believe that both men and women are equal in all respects, but let it be true equality all the way. Let us not propagate the myth that it is only men who are taking advantage of women by having unrealistic expectations. A lot of it goes the other way around, yet, I do not see anyone making funny commercials about that!!

    1. healthywomen

      Gud one.this is the best answer.poor men jus because they dont drama like women the atrocities netted to them never comes out 😀

  34. Sums

    Agree women are not kitchen appliances but men are also not bankers.how many girls would prefer a husband who values u but is not rich enough? Marriage in India is a social agreement, where each partner is looking for a best deal. It is not a matter of encouraging patriarchal system, marriage is a social business deal

    1. Latika

      i thought men thought that either the woman’s father was a banker or otherwise a professional woman is herself a banker as well as a cook, homemaker and everything rolled into one!

  35. richa

    I’m all for breaking gender stereotypes etc, and dont find anything wrong with the ad at all; I think it’s great. But I do find it slightly narrow-minded to completely dismiss arranged marriages as an archaic and misogynistic institution.

    1. Adithya

      Disagreement is more about the labels put by this website’s amateur writer seeking limelight, to be a door mat where the dirt can be mopped.

  36. praise almighty

    omg … this is soooo lame and silly …. many people point out Indian system as traditional old fashioned not keeping up with the modern age… but what has the west got to offer india by imposing their lifestyle in india???look at the family life in the west there is no family value no respect for one another no respect to adults to parents to grandparents to teacher …. that’s the majority… no one can say that about india because indians value family system alot… marriage is a lot of give and take… nobody looks down upon a women who works …housework is a duty to be shared by both husband and wife…. whats wrong with serving a husband with coffee?? dont the husband also serve their wives???

    according to dictionary serve means
    verb
    1.
    perform duties or services for (another person or an organization).
    “Malcolm has served the church very faithfully”
    2.
    present (food or drink) to someone.
    “they serve wine instead of beer”

    in the ad i am pretty sure its the second meaning and not the first…

    since when do pets SERVE??? they OBEY the master…. this ad is comparing women to pets … indian dont do that…. dont try to push these nonsensical feminist thoughts and system down our throats…

    i love my man and i love to serve him jus the way he serves me…

    1. Ruchi Mathur

      Is Indian lifestyle all about forcing a woman to do household chores? Think.
      Family values are not westernised and would be no less if guys do their own work.
      The woman in the house would always still be the woman because she is biologically that way- emotionally stronger.

      Respecting womens wishes, dreams is not westernisation. Get the difference?

    2. praise almighty

      sure may be when women respect a man …

      *not belittle him in front of famillies and friends,
      *not criticize him ,
      *stop doubting him,
      * start to trust their abilities,
      *stop acting like a know it all in front of him,
      *start appreciating what they do,
      *start complimenting them,
      *start respecting their views n support their discisions,
      *start to love them for who they are n not try to change them and impose feminine mentality upon them,
      *give them their space,
      *stop comparing them with other men like fathers,n brothers
      *and serve them out of choice happily…..

      i guarantee you you will b treated exactly the same way…. loved n cared n respected…

      do unto others what you what others to do to you….

      respect others they will respect you…

      i am raising kids at home n i keep telling them this put yourself last put others ahead of you…. then others will then put you ahead of themselves…..

      the way husbands treat their wives are usually reflection of how wives treat their husbands nothing more….

    3. Ruchi Mathur

      So what is the point you are trying to make? A guy who does not make himself a cup of tea is acceptable?
      It has to be mutual respect in any relationship for it to work.

    4. praise almighty

      wasnt this whole issue not about MAKING MAKING COFFEES and all about equality and respect??? i mean thats what many many many many women here have written…

      i dunno if you even read my posts….. everytime i have posted i have written marriage is a 50-50 deal, its a give and take….husband and wife share responsibilities….. i have given examples from my life n families… i cant thank Almighty enough…..

      i can help to but believe that may be i really was raised right…..yes my mom sacrificed a lot for us… she was selfless always loving n caring always there for us….. may b we all jus got that from here….n men in my family have always always always shared the work .. if their wives fall sick they can prepare full meals for the rest of the family clean the house scrub the bathroom sweep and mop the house arrange tables do the dishes do laundary put them to dry (but one chore at a time bcz they r men .. the thing is they know how to do it) …… many a times my bros and my husband serve us wives breakfast in bed… serve us coffee…. babysit … my husband has taken off from office sometimes to stay home with kids when me n my friends decide on a ladies day out…… n they are fully capable of doing every household chore amazingly…. may be they were jus brought up right by mothers who didnt want their sons to be disrespectful and mothers who wanted their daughters to be confident and loved and respectful… the men in the family……. they see and appreciate our hardwork as moms and they respect us….

      may be if my mom was a working woman having full tym job 9-6 and then she and dad come home they are exhausted they have to to take out time to spend time with each child individually asking how was school and what we learnt and then play with do arts n crafts with us take care of the homework… have house set..have dinner ready.. read the scriptures to us…. bathe us … tuck us in bed .. read bedtime stories… if the child needs the father for the moment dad has to leave the chores hes doing n be with the child and even if you have schedules and meals planned ahead its still not easy…because they are so overwhelmed with tasks and duties outside and inside the house… any lil wrong thing happens like sibling rivalry among kids for example… parents explode at the kids … it happens everytime everywhere in the world ….

      or may b if my mom was always working at home raising us feeling herself to be inferior and not equal and not confident about her role and ungrateful and always wanting in her heart to be a working women pursuing her ambitions and dreams without realizing her true worth and when dad came home she didnt seem happy n then started complaining about how sad her life is while other women work and she is stuck at home raising kids getting their school work n studies and whatever he does is not right and not enough of help around and not making him feel welcomed and appreciated for what hes doing for the family… he would have been grouchy and upset and yelling at her and they would be getting angry n getting upset n arguing with each other… we kids wouldnt have seen live examples of happy marriages n romance which are mostly found in books…

      ask the kids would they prefer their moms working or being at home…

      my mom was a super confident lady she could be in the most difficult situation in life n face it head on… she wouldnt fall to the knees asking people to love and respect her and she taught us that…. her presence in any gathering demanded respect n love for her because of her amazing kind respectful character ….
      .
      my mom too was working when we were little….she quit her job n became a full time mom for us…. m soo glad she did and her sons dont seem to be treating women like slaves or shabbily

      i have everytime written kids have to be taugt to do things for themselves making a sandwich or cup of coffee and basic household chores…

      but to teach them that right from wrong in the society today its not really possible because the moms are pursuing their dreams and thinking about themselves…. if any mom truly cared for the child she would definitely be happy with the husband’s income and stay home to raise mannered respectful thankful loving kids…..unless the situation is sooo bad that she alone has to manage both the roles of mom n dad… thats it..

    5. Chandu

      I don’t understand why people keep saying no one has family values in America/West. Where are you guys getting this information? Americans are also HUMANS. They have parents, too… They have siblings, too. And they have friends as well. Trust me, they are JUST as miserable when they’re all alone in the world as an Indian is.

      And Indian families? Seriously? Yeah, they’re ‘there for each other’ so long as everyone follows the rules, right? Ok, sorry, I shouldn’t generalize. I was just trying to debunk the generalization about the western culture and now I sound like a hypocrite cuz I’m generalizing about Indian culture. All I’m saying is that every culture has it’s positives and negatives and it’s unfair to say one is better than the other (unless, if course, one culture is about killing people unfairly or treating them unfairly… which the Indian culture totally does with women… Wait, am I being a hypocrite again? :P)

    6. praise almighty

      did u get the western eastern generalisation from my post??

      i was speaking general here…

      i did mention to shilpi that way bcz the intro to the ad is making some real distinction between the cultures…
      may be we get this idea about the west because of personal experiences and knowing from relatives who still live there describe and say that the environment has not becoming any better but its getting worse…or may be also from the tv shows or news that show us the sad reality …

      jus like there is good n bad everywhere no denying there is in indian culture too but definitely the western culture cannot give any family valye to indian culture and system…
      yes they are humans n have families and parents who are real examples too…

    7. praise almighty

      not that we shoukd believe anything and everything in the media… i really think we should be unbiased until we have seen and experienced first hand

    8. Chandu

      I have to admit, I saw the “western culture is XYZ” comment in many places on this page, and then again in your post (“look at the family life in the west there is no family value no respect for one another no respect to adults to parents to grandparents to teacher …. that’s the majority”) so my post wasn’t meant 100% for you. 🙂 It was directed at all of those comments that were talking about how the western culture is demoralized.

      Here’s my opinion about the western culture as perceived by Indians. Firstly, there’s a distinction to be made between “westernized” Indians and “Americans”. I do see a lot of Indians *trying* to be Americanized just to “look cool” or “be modern” without actually understanding what the western culture is all about. This is typically what leads to the big family blow-outs where kids come home from parties at 2 in the morning and ignore their worried parents, etc.

      Versus the actual “American”/”western” culture which, in my opinion, can actually offer a LOT of good to the Indian culture. This is the culture where girls wear bikinis on the beach NOT because it’s the “cool” thing to do but because that’s the normal thing to wear at a beach, like one would wear a winter jacket in the winter. In that culture, kids are taught to be passionate about life, figure out who they are, follow their dreams, etc. It’s also the culture where people are taught to treat each other fairly, equally, that if you have a right to follow your dreams, then so does the girl sitting to your right and the boy sitting to your left, so does the old man hobbling down the street, and so does the little girl hopping through the store. That — among many other things — is one of the GREATEST values that the western culture can offer to Indian culture. Treating people equally. The other things? Not forcing people to conform to social norms. UNDERSTANDING what’s right and not just blindly following what their parents tell them.

      I guess that’s the reason why I get so miffed when I hear so much negativity about the western culture. I have come across SEVERAL Indians who just try to “look cool” and that’s irritating, I agree. But the real western culture is actually a marvelous thing and I’m SOOOOO glad that I got to assimilate it into my own life!

    9. Chandu

      As for family value… I think the western culture has a good balance of giving your parents the respect and love they deserve while maintaining your own individuality and independence. On the other end, the parents are more independent, too. Their lives aren’t all about their children and their hopes/dreams aren’t all placed on their children’s shoulders. Once the kid moves on with their lives, once they become adults, the parents also move on. They do their own thing, live their own lives, have their own fun, all the while being an integral part of their child’s life.

      The child subsequently doesn’t have to struggle under the burden of having their parents’ dreams and hopes dumped on them. Education? The kid have more of a freedom to study what they want to study, go into a profession out of choice and not out of necessity or social obligation. Marriage? The kids find love and bring them home for approval from their parents. Relationships are built more naturally, based on mutual trust and understanding and not on a laundry-list of past achievements or bank accounts or useless talents like singing and dancing. Basically, the parents are merely an invested party in the kids’ lives, they’re not dictating everything.

      Honestly, I’m a grade-A daughter to my parents, but there are days when I want to just shake them and tell them to snap out of the 1800s and enter the 21st century. There are days when I have considered (albeit not seriously ‘cuz I love my parents to death) leaving the house and finding my own way in the world. I can assure you a LOT of kids in the Indian culture feel the exact same way and I can assure you THAT IS NOT HEALTHY!

  37. praise almighty

    in this ad its the mother of the boy to be blamed for not teaching her son how to even make coffee… or do simple personal things he is required to do for himself… dont blame the indian culture here… blame that mom…

  38. Shilpi

    Mr Adithya,

    I dont need to prove myslf to u..its NOT abt east n west…u hv a lower self esteem..and u bringing up this east/west issue..NOT ME I am just in agreement to the the fact that harmful gendered politics..which do not consider a woman a human and make rules for them SHOULD NOT B THR!! Not for women n niether for men… Preparing coffee is the not the mater..u hv a superficial perspective n cnt see the impact of the ad….if u stil think this doesnt happen.. see the data which states loudly the pathetic condition of women in the society… due to glorification of gendered role.again and again..and if u dont even agree to it…u belong to the same sexist bandwagon … My swabhimaan is to stand for all the women whu hv suffered and has been sufferng for generations due to this….and that i wud do at all cost… I dont care about what you think…or any1 thinks…!!!! Criticising the west is common disease of ppl whu do not respect and feel inferiority complex about thier own culture!!

    1. Adithya

      Then you also stand-up for every 5th women (be it east or west…hahahaaA) who get raped in your ideal USA….

      This observation of rape rate is not by me – it is published in NDTV site. Please check http://www.ndtv.com/article/world/one-in-five-women-raped-in-us-report-474683

    2. Chandu

      Dude, you want to bring up the matter of rape and how females are treated in a country?! I don’t have to warn any of my female friends or relatives to not go out on the streets after 8 PM when they come to visit me in America. Can you say the same for India? And the numbers you just found above — yeah, women felt comfortable enough to REPORT those numbers in America and got HELP for it. Can you say the same for India? And when a woman gets raped in America, her parents/family/community doesn’t blame HER for it. They don’t freak out about the fact that — OH MY GOD, YOU’LL NEVER GET MARRIED NOW (because, right, getting married should be a woman’s biggest concern when she just got raped)! They don’t make her feel like her life’s pretty much over until she feels the need to commit suicide because she got raped. Can you say the same about your precious India?

      No one’s saying America’s perfect. I’m just saying it’s a hell of a lot better than India, particularly for women who just want to be THEMSELVES and not be judged for it.

  39. Shilpi

    To all.. I dont understand… y this isue of westernization is coming again n again…Pant shirt pehenne se toh westernization nahi hota..resturant me khane se.. western logo ka develop kiya hua technology use karne me …mobile gadgets….western company me job karne se westernization nahi hota…its only when a woman talks about her rights she is entititled to..sabko westernization dikhne lagta hai….Wn did this ad ever talked about westernization …it is the minds of insecure males whu think that they loose thier authority over a female…. U dont even realise that this thot process of yours has also developed due to gender divide…once n for al THIS AD IS NOT ABT MAKING COFFEEEEE!! Its not even about demeaning a home maker It is about gendered roles nurtured thru generations….whr in an arrange marriage set up this is expected from a gal n not from the guy…and if you guys hv doubts pls chek the matrimonial ads…the stats of acrocities on women.. if you wish to close yur eyes to al that thats fine..Coz IGNORANCE is a choice …and Never a point of view!!!!

    1. praise almighty

      if it wasnt about westernisation then the comaprison in the introduction between indian culture and western one was sooooooo not necessary dont you think….

      they are totally comparing the cultures… both cultures are very different … indian culture has changed too with times in its own way yet keeping the morals intact whereas the west too has changed and have lost all its morals

    2. Chandu

      Cultures evolve differently based on the people in them. It doesn’t mean one has lost its morals and the other hasn’t. The western culture is INCREDIBLE for a hundred reasons. It sucks for quite a few too. The Indian culture is also fantastic for so many reasons but it has it’s downsides too. Don’t pass blanket statements about cultures because you just don’t agree with them. At the end of the day, rules, morals, values, none of that after if a person is miserable in life and that’s what gender roles do: make people miserable. They’re not a problem for those who want to follow them but they’re awful for those who don’t. Versus not having gender roles? Everyone gets to be whatever they want to be, do whatever they want to so free of judgement? EVERYONE’s happy!

    3. Rahul Mishra

      Coffee banegi nahi!!!! office me kam karne layak Indian woman hai nahi!!!! Every where she needs reservation!!!! from bus sitting place to lok sabha, she needs reservation to prove herself!!!! In IITs and IIM, out of every 1000 boys , there are hardy 50 girls. And they need 5 maid servants to take care of home!!! And again coffee nahi banana …………. khal baith ke thusna hai aur she has to become 80 KG Bhains after 5 years of marriage!!!!

    4. xyz

      Rahul! you are not in IIT or in IIM, forget about these top institutes, I am damn sure you are either jobless or doing a petty job that need no brain. I wonder about your grades or even if have you even attended high schools. And definitely you are single (may be some girl rejected you or friend-zoned you). That completes your life. Keep barking. Have fun!!! (because you are not able to afford the coffee machine, forget about getting a nice girl to make coffee for you).

    5. AK

      lol…lol…hearing the sizzzzling sound in so many OTT feminists minds…lol

  40. SrbKaur

    First of all … nice commercial. It obviously doesn’t apply to everyone’s lives. But still for those that it does apply to, it a nice interpretation. I don’t want to say any more than that.

    Second of all … why do all Indian people (well majority of them) have such a hard time typing in English properly? Why the silly short cuts when typing regular words? Just an annoying observation…Is it really that hard to type a whole word with correct spelling?

    1. Ruchi Mathur

      Indians talk/text more. They are warmer and friendlier. Shortcuts help save time which saves time so they can use it to write more. Abbreviations exist in English language as well right? Why? The same reason for Indians making their own shortcuts.

  41. praise almighty

    omg … this is sooo lame…theres a whole lot of difference between western culture and the indian culture, .. people think indian systems are old fashioned outdated and not keeping in times with modern age…. seriously… and we try to adopt the western lifestyle…these ads are simply putting don the indian culture look at the western families the kids have no respect for parents and grandparents they mistreat them call the child services if parents scolded them
    thats not indian culture and the western culture doesnt haveanything in the least bit to give to the indian culture.

    serving a husband … whats wrong with serving one’s own husband?? doesnt the husband ever serve his wife?? marriage is a 50-50 deal theres no boss …. both have to work together… indian culture do not look down upon women working since ancient times women have and men have worked shoulder to shoulder in the fields and farms … by making such ads they are just trying to push down the western lifestyle forcefully making women think that they are being ill treated and not given thier due share…

    serve (sûrv)
    v. served, serv·ing, serves
    v.tr.
    1. To work for.
    He served the church faithfully
    2.To present food or drink
    They served wine instead of beer

    i am pretty sure the meaning of the word SERVE according to this ad is the 2nd one and not the first

    and since when do pets SERVE? pets OBEY their masters not serve them…. this ad is actually comparing indian women to pets….( all feminist minded people have no problem with …. sheesh)

    God has created men and women equal but not same…
    we are supposed to serve each other.. we are asked to serve God..whats wrong with that?..
    we both men and women husband and wife supposed to have a servants heart ….

    i love my man very dearly and i love to serve him jus as he serves me….

    the issue is the way the kids are brought up … the mothers and fathers have to make sure the male and female children know the basic things in life like making sandwiches for food making cup of coffee making bed washing dishes doing laundary … its the way parents are bringing them up
    then the married life will b so peaceful and cheerful with husband serving his wife and children and wife serving her husband and children..

    for people who say its not abt western and eastern lifestyles please read the introduction of the ad
    and those who say its not about coffee pls see the ad is about a coffee maker

  42. shilpa

    even a American guy want a Indian village lady,not American independent brainwashed women.

    1. Mahanda Maddick

      Somebody call the year 1914 please, their chief idiot has landed on this page! Good work Shilpa…any other brainless ideas you would like to share?

    2. Chandu

      You need to meet more American guys…

  43. Anonymous

    Haha, got a good laugh out of this one! Ooohhhh, the number of times I wish I could have *served* it to the groom’s side of the family like this girl just did… bravo! Bra-vo!! *Slow clap*! Please apply cold water to the burnt area!

  44. nil

    thats just a stupid ad makes no sense and its not nothing to do with respecting women

  45. kilkennyboss

    In that case I am also not a personal dildo to be always in your purse. Let me Go and enjoy other ladies. Love and affection comes from caring each other.

    1. squeegeaddict

      So the woman can also feel free to enjoy other men as well as long as she cares mostly for you, right?

    2. Chandu

      So… umm… If and when you’re in an arranged marriage type situation, do the girls’ mothers ever ask you about how good you are in bed? Do aunties and uncles give you “that look” when you admit that you only know one sex position cuz you wanted to focus more on your career than you did on studying up on the Kama sutra? No? That’s so funny because that’s what the guys’ parents ask ME — how good of a cook I am, how good I am at taking care if the household, etc. And aunties and uncles have a fit when I tell them that I was too busy studying and getting a job to learn how to cook anything more than Maggi!

      Don’t draw parallels that have absolutely nothing to so with the subject matter that’s being presented, bro. Seriously…

    3. Meenakshi Shinde

      i appreciate you….

  46. praise almighty

    women and men are equal…they are not the same
    its like the heart and the brain… body cannt function well if one isnt working… both have different responsibilities but both are equally important…both cannot be brains or hearts its jus not right…

    God has given men strength in their field and women in their field… a government cannot run with two prime ministers at the same time.. a bus cannot reach its destination with two drivers driving at the same time…

    God has created women with lot of different qualities than men …. women want to be everywhere where the men are and then cry about that men arent there where women are…. women want to go out n work .. fine no issues with that but whats with the women has to come home n take care of the household…..women are amazing at multitasking so the house is best place for her… being a homemaker is BEST for a women… i don care what the feminist here say… but i repeat making home pleasant place … raising the kids nurturing them preparing a food lovingly for the family and the husband works for the family.. he earns day in and out for the family trying to fulfill the needs of the family .. a man can never be a mother for the children… man cannot do multi tasking so his job is just a job they do one thing they cannot do many at a time… understand this women… we can do changing diapers and reading a book or facebooking or twitter, talking on phone filling laundry in the washer and cooking food and taking care of kids tantrums all at the same time by working outside we women are not using our full potential… i stand by my words no matter what you peopel think…i used to work before i got married too…. but as married woman i understand my role and my man understands his role….

    nowadays women think taking up roles of men makes them equal to men….no.. we are already equals we are NOT SAME… we ae equally important…. we women think doing wrk at home n having full time / part time jobs gonna make them feel respected n appreciated n they do n do n burn out n crash n cry about men not helping around the house…

    i am a homeschooling mom of 6 amazing wonderful kids and stay at home mom i conduct classes at home (tuitions) i can take care of the house and kids and food and dishes and laundary but after my husband comes home hes sees a happy family a clean home a good CUP OF COFFEE SERVED TO HIM with LOVE …. after such stressful work he sees i have been doing an amazing job at home he pitches in helps with dinner taking care of the lil ones changing diapers and after dinner he does the dishesc giving kids a bath before bed time , read tories to them,

    they willingly do i never have to ask him.. he runs me a warm bath and gives a massage.. tucks the kids in bed.. he SERVES ME… believe me m not making it up…

    we women should be happy with our roles….and not try to be like men life will be so much easier.. house work is not a thing to b ashamed of at all… doing work outside the house having nannies babysitters grandparents and maids taking a mom role in life of the children and exhausting yourself and crying not bieing treated equal is jus insane..

    God has designed perfectly… no need to find faults in that…

    we women are the backbone of the society.. we dont have to BEG for the men of the society to understand our value and cry about it…we are not beggars of the street wanting a place in life… we already have a queens place in life lets take it and be happy about .. we contribute alot to society ..a queen’s worth is more than a king … dont lower your value…

    1. Latika

      If a woman is treated alright and respected, then it is perfect for a woman to be a home maker but the problem is that men treat the women in their lives very shabbily.
      You are lucky, that you get to take care of your kids, and then your husband appreciates you and also helps you out without even asking.

    2. Aditi

      Please change your username….it doesn’t suit you….

    3. Latika

      Come on….you are blaming women on how men treat them!
      I know for a fact that many women who are very devoted wives and mothers have been subjected to humiliation, abandonment, adultery and abuse. Its this kind of behaviour that lowers the self esteem of women. When faced with such dire circumstances, only these women know how they rise above the situation.
      You have probably been living in a cocoon and when you live a normal life you tend to think the aberrations don’t exist….you loved and were loved back….you are fortunate…..that doesn’t mean that everyone has the same fate. Wake up, grow up….face the reality…..learn a bit more about reality…..and at the very least don’t blame the women (by omission or commission) for their mistreatment.

    4. praise almighty

      no what i am telling is

      give love get love
      show respect gain respect

      do unto others what we want others to do to you…

      dont tell me i live in a cacoon i have saved plenty of ruined marriages with these very basic tips and they are ever soo thankful for me explaining to them….and are living life happiiy … m speaking out of experience… m no marriage counsellor or something .. they were my good friends…even for a friend who loved her husband dearly but he cheated on her… if i was in that situation God Forbid it happen to any loving wife … no matter what i would have definitely walked out of the marriage with my kids….but she was strong she didnt want to break because the kids loved their dad too much… and then i just told her exactly some things what i have written and now they are in love like newly married couple… m serious… m not blaming any woman or man …

      yeah i am kind of blaming the woman… i wont deny…

      Devotion is to God.. He is the Master , He is the Creator , He is the Judge
      Husband is not God … women should not devote themselves entirely to them…woman have a life too… . we should give and take … thats what marriages are all about …
      we are not their slaves to devote ourselves to them …. women , sisters out there dont do that….because man is human and commits mistakes

      to devote means
      To give or apply (one’s time, attention, or self) entirely to a particular activity, pursuit, cause, or person.

      i am telling we have to have self respect … if we cant respect ourselves how will anyone else respect us…

      why do we have to feel inferior.. if we have a real bad situation in the society about men treating women like slaves and badly then it is the duty of the mothers now to raise better sons…the way to correct it is in our hands…. dont you think??

      my mom in law is very old but she raised her kids ,sons in particular to respect and love..
      in those days women were loved and treated well…m pretty sure…. because if she was treated bad she would have been one bitter old lady today…those days women did their part as moms 100% and men did their part as breadwinner 100% and housework they shared 50-50… and marriages stayed strong n healthy

      but today,we woman want to work full time and raise kids part time…..

      the point is …. we dont want to see reality… we want to live in our own perfect dreamland …. and we want it exactly like what we dream it to be…. we dont want to work with what we have got…

    5. Latika

      It would be wonderful if men were like how you describe….and there are many men like that too….and i do believe parents play an important role in bringing up good human beings.
      Its just that some are too chauvinistic and doing good also doesn’t have much effect on them, rather it is construed as weakness and leads to further suppression….i do hope that this is the minority…. but still hear too many instances where its usually the woman who ignores many slights, mistreatments and still continues…..while for the man the slightest of irritations are intolerable.
      I also agree with you that its your part that you can take care of…..you can do good…..if the other follows suit, well and good…..if not, at least you have done your part. And of course doing good in spite of the adverse situations can turn around things sometimes.

    6. praise almighty

      my point is if we

      give love we get love in return
      show respect gain respect

      do unto others what we want others to do to you…

      nowadays we have made it into a man vs woman war

      dont tell me i live in a cacoon i have saved couple of ruined marriages with these very basic tips and they are ever soo thankful for me explaining to them….and are living life happiiy … m speaking out of experience… m no marriage counsellor or something .. they were my good friends…even for a friend who loved her husband dearly but he cheated on her… if i was in that situation God Forbid it happen to any loving wife … no matter what i would have definitely walked out of the marriage with my kids….but she was strong she didnt want to break because the kids loved their dad too much… and then i just told her exactly some things what i have written and now they are in love like newly married couple… m serious… m not blaming any woman or man …

      yeah i am kind of blaming the woman… i wont deny…

      Devotion is to God.. He is the Master , He is the Creator , He is the Judge
      Husband is not God … women should not devote themselves entirely to them…woman have a life too… . we should give and take … thats what marriages are all about …
      we are not their slaves to devote ourselves to them …. women , sisters out there dont do that….because man is human and commits mistakes

      to devote means
      To give or apply (one’s time, attention, or self) entirely to a particular activity, pursuit, cause, or person.

      i am telling we have to have self respect … if we cant respect ourselves how will anyone else respect us…

      why do we have to feel inferior.. if we have a real bad situation in the society about men treating women like slaves and badly then it is the duty of the mothers now to raise better sons…the way to correct it is in our hands…. dont you think??

      my mom in law is very old but she raised her kids ,sons in particular to respect and love..
      in those days women were loved and treated well…m pretty sure…. because if she was treated bad she would have been one bitter old lady today…those days women did their part as moms 100% and men did their part as breadwinner 100% and housework they shared 50-50… and marriages stayed strong n healthy

      but today,we woman want to work full time and raise kids part time…..

      the point is …. we dont want to see reality… we want to live in our own perfect dreamland …. and we want it exactly like what we dream it to be…. we dont want to work with what we have got…

    7. healthywomen

      Gud one.raising kids part time …wat an apt description.

    8. AngryWoman

      This is stupid. Saying women are best suited homemaker role. Women don’t work to be like men. I am sure that is not the primary reason they pursue education, interview for a job, constantly improve themselves so they perform better at their work place. You might decide being a homemaker is BEST role for you. That is fine. But you have no have no right making a statement like saying ‘being a homemaker is BEST for a women’. No one is saying men and women are the same. They are not anatomically. But don’t reduce all of us simply to the role of being homemakers. Many of us have ambitions, abilities and desires outside of homemaker role. No is putting down the role of homemaker. Its just that nobody likes that mantle thrusted upon them.

      Making a statement like saying working in a workplace is suited ONLY to men is very ignorant. Maybe you are best suited to homemaker role. But I know abilities one has is independent of gender. Women throughout history have had to fight people who think like you to make their ideas/contributions known. If people did not think like you, society would have advanced so much more. So please at least don’t force your medieval ideas on your kids that you home school or the kids you tutor. We need to stop this stupidity this generation.

    9. praise almighty

      when the answer to this problem is given people take offense.. y??

      this is the mentality that being a home maker is a menial job not respected etc…its all in the attitude….money isnt everything… one cannot attain respect by having careers and working outside…. outside or inside respect and love are something to be earned by both men and women not presnted to us…

      i am not against women working or educating themselves.. but in her persuit for better job and fulfilling her so called dreams and ambitions women shouldnt neglect families and home responsibilities..

      we are complaining here that women are not treated equally not respected by men… y???? …. may be because they werent brought up the right way. by their moms who were too busy trying to pursue their dreams and ambitions…

      unless you are really serious and dont want your daughters to be treated that way by men , its high time we raise our sons to respect the womenfolk … take this part seriously in their upbringing…

      i have many women of my family working.i too worked before i got married…. i dont have issues at all with that because i see the women from my family fulfilling their duties both inside as moms and outside the house in their careers… and the men of the house work outside all day, readily help around the house and participate in raising kids as the dad … thats what i have been telling all the tym marriage is 50-50 deal
      i have seen this really happenings these things happen in real life…..love n respect and contentment

      i am jus giving an extremely simple solution where a women is respected and loved and treated well….m in no way degrading…. why do women think like that???

      i say women are best suited for house work because even if a man does the work women usually find faults and end up doing it again….. its that perfectionist mentality in us.. we all women have that … no one can deny that……if a man puts sheets on the mattress ooo he dint do that right jus look at the mess.,,,,,,,,,,,,,, this is not a rare case its very common….men cannot do many things at once…..which woman can easily do… any women can do even lil girls do but boys jus cant…. its a difference in men and women. by nature its not taught to them separately…..

      when i say men and women are not same … m not just saying anatomically… its like everything capabilities, emotionally ,,mentally everthing is different….. if you believe it to be true( men n women are equal but not same) then this issue shouldnt rise at all…dont you think??

      the women in history who did great did their part well and respectfully even if men opposed them…. but now women seem to be stepping too low n begging for love n respect…

      my thinking might seem very medieval to you but it has saved couple of marriages and in the long run i dont think my kids will be disrespecting women or ill treating them ….. but since the many women in here seem to come across sooo many sad situations in life may be if we stop to think abt me myself and i and take matters really serious may be the next generation sons will be real gentlemen….

      and i dont see women appriciating or realizin their worth here…. its jus too saad….. m done..

      peace y’all

    10. Chandu

      I just don’t understand why it’s the mom’s role to teach her kids good values? Why not the dad?

      And, honestly, it’s a bit offensive to men to say thy they aren’t able to multi-task, that they’re unable to focus on much more than their job whereas a woman can take of any number of things at once. Feels like reverse sexism. I think men and women are both capable of anything they set their minds to, which is why dads should be held just as responsible for rearing their children am taking care if household work, just like moms should be held just as responsible for “bringing home the money”. If an individual couple decide to settle on a routine where the roles are skewed more one way or the other, then all the more power to them!! But that shouldn’t be expected of a person right off the bat because of their gender.

      Honestly, I want to be more than a wife. I’ve dreamt of becoming famous, of helping people, of doing meaningful things in the world, of becoming rich, of finding love, and of teaching my kids to find dreams if their own. Whatever my dreams or any woman’s dreams (or any man’s dreams, for that matter), I feel like we should all get a chance to see them fulfilled and not get bogged by society’s expectations of “what we’re SUPPOSED to be.”

      I think marriage is about the wife supporting her man and the husband supporting his woman. Team work, picking up each other’s slack when necessary, but also enjoying THEMSELVES. Society shouldn’t get a say in the household.

    11. praise almighty

      no its not offensive to men at all ask any psychologist….
      ask any man…. theres loads of videos on youtube to explain to you on this matter….
      read books and understand the men around you… men jus cant do that…
      we women think men can…

      and thats why women nag alot at husbands saying they dont do much or dont do enough saying they are lazy .. when in reality they will be trying soo much…in their own way…… sometime they need exactly step by step instructions when we tell them anything ….

      it means you have never tried to understand men….

      they can do alot but not at the same time…women can do alot side by side … the brain of the women is wired that way … men are totally different…. and you say you are going to become a doctor right… you have to understand the people and their nature….

      i have written before parents both have to raise the child but its more on a mom to do because of her unmatched qualities thats she possess and because she bears the child and the child spends more time with the mother since birth …. from a young a age child has a bond with his/her mom than the dad (that is if the mom really took the trouble to be with the child n not jus behave like a birthing machine … like jus had the baby out and thought she is freed of her the burden)….. the mother understand the child inside out more than the father so it but natural that she can guide the child in a way thats much suited for the child…. she can handle the child tantrums and deal with the child in the childs own way…. its not in majority of men to do that..some myt do that but not majority,,,

      a woman can deliver a child for the first time in the middle of no where but by nature by her motherly instincts she knows hows to hold the baby how to feed the baby how to put the baby to sleep … and yes nowadays in the US they have these courses where fathers are taught how to put the kids to sleep or even bottle feed (dont start with why compare with US).. u see it doesnt come naturally to men hence they have to be taught….

      yes fathers play a very important role in a child’s life…. but when fathers are already earning and providing for the family why should the mothers leave the child behind at day cares and with nannies to fulfill their selfish ambitions thats all i am asking … at least have a full time dad at home if women feel they cant do a mothers role well and can prove themself better in the work field outside of the house … go ahead … at least have the other parent (dad) at home full time for the child to guide the child so that they dont turn out like the men today who treat women wrong…

      and when the child has been raised seeing that the mom was always the one to get home money he will demand that from his wife because he was raised that way…..he always saw his dad at home with him and saw his dad playing with him and being a part of his growing up and as soon as he is married he is going to sit at home and ask his wife to go and earn… … sooooooooooo cool right .. and if she is pregnant she still has to go may be….

      you myt say he should work too…. then its the same story again with both parents working out just to get more money home…. .

      when my children have grown i too will join my work .. its jus that till they need me i will be there for them supporting them loving them ….supporting and loving and appreciating my man , their father in front of them for his efforts and he in return supporting me and appreciating me and acknowledging my worth…

      the point is to have a parent home for the child so that the child doesnt be brought up like the children today… hope you understand

      we women have the POWER , have the magic wand to set things right…. but alas… society doesnt agree…

      m not against women working at all but even after all the work you do as doctor working long hours may be night shifts may be attending emergencies and after that you should have enough time at home for your kids for your husband for your home (ur share of the household which is shared by the husband and you) your family and loved ones without showing slack in either field … if you can … then go ahead by all means pursuing dreams n ambitions and desires of being famousl and get rich…

      you want to help the world … then it starts with yourself and family first..

    12. Chandu

      Would you go up to a random man and tell him he’s incapable of multi-tasking and that he needs to be shown how to do stuff step-by-step by a woman? No? Why — because it IS offensive. Psychology and biology only affect a person so far; nurture has a lot more say in a person’s capabilities than you give it credit! And how can you say men are incapable of multi-tasking when SO MANY of them do it? I’m SURROUNDED by these capable men, aren’t you?

      Frankly, I blame the Indian culture for raising men and women to be incompetent in handling their lives in a logical and efficient way. Everyone talks about how children in America are “kicked out” of their houses at 18. Yeah, they are. You know what happens at 18-years-old plus one day? They start learning how to be responsible, mature, self-sufficient human beings. They learn to NOT accept excuses like, “Men aren’t capable of multi-tasking, so don’t worry, son. You just focus on finding a job and we’ll find you a girl who will tell you what to do for the rest of your life. Step-by-step.”

      When I have kids, I won’t allow them to give me excuses. My boy will be doing the dishes and mowing the lawn while my girl is doing the laundry and fixing the broken car. My boy will hold doors open for women and I’ll make sure that my girl holds doors open for men, too. They don’t get an easy way out of being DECENT, COMPETENT human beings, not from me.

      Just have to say: not all women know how to take care of a baby just magically. And there’s a HUGE percentage of men who know how to take care of a baby very well. I’ve seen both kinds, a LOT.

      I do understand what you’re saying about having at least one parent home to take care of the baby. It’s just basic human decency to make sure that a child is loved and cared for. But what I’M trying to say is that it shouldn’t be up to society to determine WHICH of the pair takes care of the child. It all boils down to not forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do… the most BASIC of human decencies.

      You’re saying it’s wrong for a boy to demand that his wife work because that’s how he was raised, so how is it okay for a boy to demand that his wife NOT work? It’s not fair for the guy to demand anything of his wife OR vice versa. It’s ESPECIALLY not fair for society to demand anything of a man or a woman, considering that the society isn’t actually doing anything to help them with their daily work.

      I like how you took my list of dreams and boiled it down to “becoming rich and famous.” Yup, out of that whole list, money and fame are most important to me. Was I THAT obvious?

      And what’s more selfish: wanting to save hundreds of lives or waiting hand-and-foot on my own children? What exactly am I supposed to be teaching my kids – that they’re more important to me than a hundred lives put together? I’m sorry, but I can’t. I refuse to. My children will grow up knowing I love them and I would die for them. They will also know that they are not the center of my universe and that will teach them to not take themselves too seriously either. Because there’s nothing more irritating and USELESS than someone who thinks way too highly of themselves.

      If I want to help the world, why the heck would I start with my family? I’d start with the world and I’d take care of my family, too! Two almost-completely unrelated things there and, thanks to the incredible western culture that I grew up in and my parents’ unrelenting support in helping me become independent and autonomous, I am 100% confident that I will be able to handle both. Any incompetent and unworthy dick who demands that I chose one over the other will be promptly kicked to the curb.

      Appreciating a woman (or ANYBODY) isn’t about thanking her for the work she’s doing and helping out when she needs it. It’s believing in her, trusting her to make her own decisions, treating her like an equal, and working with her to make the marriage healthy by finding ways to keep BOTH of yourselves happy.

    13. AK

      nice one!

  47. praise almighty

    @ latika : i really think the way men treat women reflects the way they were raised…the way a mom can nurture and teach and instill qualities of selflessness in a child no one else can teach not even teachers in school….

    it comes again to the same topic ..

    men in general and fathers take care of the present of the society , the mom and women take care of the future of the society…if woman and man are trying to take care of the present they will only put our future at stake and end up having men who treat women shabbily…..

    when the children see a father coming home after working hard all day and they see a mom ( who is not confident and has low self esteem and doesnt recognize her role and feels herself to be doing a menial job stayinng at home ) is not happy and she is bickering and nagging n complaining it stresses out the men more and they start getting angry and treating their wives the same way the wives are treating them..children see that….. ant feel thats the way it should be…. and the girls children try to be like their moms who were always begging for appreciation and getting angry and being moody and male children grow up to be always bickering and yelling at their wives ant treating them shabbily..

    we women hold the keys we can turn the man the way we want…. jus appreciate him show him love n see he will do wonders for you… men dont ask much ….. they are not really as complicated as women …. if we treat them as kings they treat us as queens… i can get my husband to do anything anything anything i want… he will readily do anything for me… i love him very much….

    i have always seen my parents showing respect to each other and being soooo loving always..when we as children saw that we try to copy what our parents do because for us parents are everything… i am third child among 8 kids my sisters married and they are teachers praise God
    Almighty they work as its their passion noit because its their duties and they are raising wonderful bunch of kids too but i havent seen them neglecting their household duties….and their husband help the kids with homework do the laundary , sweep and mop the house clean and scrub the bathrooms…..even though one was totally with a different mentality when they got married… my sister didnt try to change him she did her part as she had seen her mom doing he himself within an year of marriage changed his mentality…. they are married for 14 years now…

    we women feel inferior about ourselves thats our problem….thats y we are treated like that… show the men your worth … no man can deny you what you want.

    its 50-50 you treat him well not hurt his dignity and make him feel inferior to you he too will treat you his equal…. woman have this know it all quality…thats jus wrong…

    for a healthy marriage and strong families both husbands and wives have to give something to get something… thats jus the way it is…. i might seem wrong to many but thats your opinion….

    we women are raising such sons and daugters who are selfish n think only about themselves…. nobody is to be blamed for this happening in society but us as mothers…. there are amazing men out there who wer raised by single moms…. not dads… its the role of parents to raise good kids mainly a mom’s role …

  48. Deepika

    The only solace is that in the comment section, all stupid, sexist comments have been disliked while all sensible comments have been liked. That gives me some hope 😀

    1. Rahul

      Depika you’ll have trouble after marriage if won’t improve!!!

    2. Ginni

      You better worry about yourself Rahul.

    3. Latika

      God save women from Rahul….but the problem is one unfortunate woman is going to be hitched to him…..and whether she likes it or not will have to bear him!

    4. Krish

      Latika..that one woman can beat the shit out of this loser if she wants. Have faith. I’ve seen more obnoxious people come around, this Rahul guy is just trolling around. It comes from insecurity, and if a dumb retard like him can feel insecure, well that’s good news 🙂

    5. Latika

      Deepika! You’re right…..at least most people are probably balanced and sensible!
      And this guy Rahul has commented on such an innocuous and good natured remark from you.

  49. bhavanimata

    If you really want to show respect to women, cut out all the item numbers. None of these ads can do a thing unless you tackle this.

  50. gaurav

    the institution of marriage is almost dead specially arranged marriage.

  51. Rahul Mishra

    faltu ad hai!!! if she is making coffee for husband, how does it affect her respect?? Its really utter nonsense!!!

    1. Prasanth

      Can’t the ass make it himself you blithering idiotic psychopath

    2. Ashima

      Among all of these comments, this is by far the only one that conveys the message with humor! I hope there are people like this out there and the number of positive comments (and the likes) to combat the misogynistic ones gives me hope! Lets hope for a better, more equal India for all humans!

    3. Chandu

      The point isn’t that she’s making coffee for her husband, it’s that the mother in law is expecting her to do nothing but that. Seriously, you’d think someone would have created a housemaid robot by now to fulfill all of society’s crazy expectations, free up the woman from cooking and cleaning, free up the man from mowing the lawn and “bringing home the bacon” and just let everyone live and have fun and enjoy life!

    4. Ginni

      Point is not that if a woman mnakes coffee for her husband she becomes home appliance, its that if u want your son to get married to a woman ust coz he can not make his own coffee and do his household work, so basically you want a kaam waali bai ya home appliance only….. instead she cud have said that i want him to get married so that he gets settled and have his own family. No body has problem making coffe for each other husband or wife point is dont make it a criteria for getting your son married, coz ye kaam ek KITCHEN APPLIANCE kar sakta hai.

    5. Miscellaneous

      Hi Rahul,

      It affects her respect, if she is being treated as someone who has to always act on her husbands desire to cook for him and take care of him on his wishes rather than doing it on her own will and wish.

      The ad just portrays that one should stop thinking to get married just because they want a care taker but to marry a woman for her individuality.

  52. Sharique

    This add is nonsene, there is nothing disrespect for women who make coffee or anyother thing for her husbnd. it is her duty.

    1. Amit

      It’s her duty? No. That’s backwards thinking. Men are perfectly capable of making their own cup of coffee, and of doing housework as well. That’s some misogynistic bull you’re spouting, and I hope you remain single forever.

    2. Rahul

      we can not say whether it is her duty or not? ? But surely after preparing coffee, she does not become a kitchen Appliance!!!! Dimag kharab kar diya hai is ad ne bahut sari ladkiyon kaa!!!!! There will be trouble in getting them married!!!! I pity their father!!!! These girls don’t want to study, they don’t want to work. And after marriage, they want 5 maid servant. They just love to be a 80 Kg buffalo after marriage!!!! Also, for the name of woman empowerment, they need reservation from Bus seat to lok sabha. Because they know that only few of them can compete man!!!

    3. Chandu

      Look, I don’t know how thugs are in India right now but medical schools in America are approximately 50-50 in terms of men vs. women docs. So, uh… Where the heck are you coming up with this theory that “only few women can compete with men”?

      When I get married, I will continue to be a doctor. I will save lives. LOTS of them. My goal right now is at least 1000. Oh, and I don’t plan to become a buffalo, a donkey, an elephant, or even a monkey. I plan to be a human being, born to dream, work hard, love, care for others, and LIVE my own life just the way I want to live it.

      Oh, and in case you’re wondering, my father is not only happy to have me as a daughter, he is extremely proud and so is my mother because they are amazing parents and I just proved that to them.

    4. Chandu

      That’s supposed to read “how THINGS are right now in India”… Not thugs. 😛 Typing on an iPhone is SOOO much fun!

    5. Miscellaneous

      Respect for you Chandu !!

    6. Krish

      Stop trolling, you bloody piece of dogshit. People like you repress women all their lives. I hope you burn in hell.

      Oh, and you might want to learn your grammar before you post.

    7. Gaurav Gupta

      Sorry Sir, its not her duty, a women is our life partner not our slave. In that case would you make a coffee for your wife if she ask for one ?

    8. Shilpi

      Appretiation Gaurav Gupta..hope rest of the sulphate men and women also get the idea…. thats ITS NT ABT WESTRERNIZATION..niether abt they being money minting machine…NOR ABT women have gone mad…. or forgt thier or responsibilty ..or disrepect elders or husband..its about the stereotypical patriarchal gender biased society which should break!

    9. time4change

      duty?????????? OMG..!!!(i seriously got shock of my life after reading this) So, tell me if there is nothing disrespectful in making coffee or nythng else.. then y dont men do it for themselves?? why do you want a woman for it???

  53. Raj

    A woman who offers coffee machine, one day I hope she will not offer milk machine to her own daughters/sons.

    1. Chandu

      Okay, I really just have to say this right now and I know I’m going to get a million and one hate-comments, but breast feeding SUCKS. It’s painful, it’s embarrassing and it’s disgusting. Women who do it — incredible, amazing! Women who don’t want to — I completely understand! If you disagree with me, try having your body pumped with a billion hormones, having your chest feel like it’s going to explode every three hours and having a baby clamp it’s toothless jaws on you like you’re a chew toy. Try that and tell me you’d so it over an over again because “it’s your duty”.

      I’m not saying moms SHOULDN’T breast feed their child; I’m saying it bugs the crap out of me when I see people use such examples so off-handedly like they’re no-brainers, like — duh — of COURSE a wife should make coffee for her husband like the sun rises in the East and sets in the West. Human beings aren’t machines, k? Stop expecting them to do something just because they’re a man or a woman. If my husband wants coffee, he’ll make some for himself. Or I might make some for him if I feel like it. I don’t know what I’ll do but I know what I won’t do: ask the whole friggin society what I’m SUPPOSED to do!

    2. Meenakshi Shinde

      i really really agree to you and would like to be in touch with a strong woman like you:)

    3. Gaurav Gupta

      Chandu,

      I really admire and respect your ideas for women empowerment. We for-sure wants to get rid of years long established chains of patriarchy and make sure there is equality in society. But i guess we are going way too far, somethings were established by nature for a purpose. There is a reason behind it. Men or Women both who put there self interest first before there children, do you think would be connected to their children like the way they should ? I hope you would like clean your child wound, since its blood would spoil your clothes and it hurts and take efforts to wash it. You really think that breast feeding should be stopped since it hurts, that case people should stop having a baby too since it hurts even more while giving birth a baby, and even more to fulfill his needs for rest of our life. I guess you are first person who is saying that breast feeding hurt, coz until now I have only heard and read its happiest feeling for a women. Boys and Girls indeed are equal and should share equal responsibility. No family can live happily and stand on its ground until both the partners are working equally for it. But, as far as i see instead of bringing equality we are moving the scales on other side now. While working for women up liftment , and trying to become so called Modern we should not try to diminish the best human feelings which connects a human being to other one.

    4. Chandu

      Hey Mr. Gaurav Gupta! First off, what a wonderfully calm and well thought-out argument! Seriously, I do fall into that classic trap of going on the defensive when I read certain comments, but yours helped keep the debate very rational. Thanks for that!

      I will admit that I am way more liberal than a lot of people are. The reason for that is that I think life should be about happiness, plain and simple. You also mentioned “best human feelings” and “happiest feelings”, right? Some people consider having a family and taking care of children to be some such feelings. Others don’t. For one of my siblings, a family’s the most important thing in their life. For another, they would be far happier if they never got married. I’m somewhere in the middle. The point is that I think people should be free to pursue whatever THEY think is happiness as long as they’re not hurting anybody else. It is for this reason that I would say, yes, if a person doesn’t want to go through the pain of giving birth to a child, if a person doesn’t see any value in having children and a family, then they shouldn’t be forced into it. More importantly, they shouldn’t be JUDGED for it.

      If a woman does not consider giving birth or breast-feeding one of the “best human feelings”, who are we to say otherwise? What are we achieving by forcing her to have a child? Not only are we ruining the woman’s life, we are also putting that child’s happiness at great risk. Parenting is SOOO difficult; if the parents are not 100% in it, of their own accord, it’s disastrous. No person deserves to go through that and, furthermore, no child deserves that.

      I guess what I’m trying to say is expectations hurt people. They don’t hurt the people that are willing to follow them, they hurt the ones that AREN’T. If we can remove expectations, then people get to be HAPPY. They get to do whatever they want to do and no one gets hurt. And if that’s the case, why must we hold onto our expectations of other people?

      Finally, I want to ask an honest question because this is something I wonder a lot and I haven’t ever heard a convincing argument to compel me to change my own mind: why is it so important to have children? Why is it shocking or inappropriate for a woman to focus on her career and just… not have kids?

    5. AK

      precisely!

  54. Thinker

    Nice video…..but it has nothing to do with the “arranged marriage” system unlike it’s introduction write-up says.

    Gender bias is in our heads…..and people who fall for love marriages have such mind-set too.

    For that matter, Gender roles are strictly defined in the west too, where only love marriages take place!!

  55. BuRn

    umm….GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH!! Like now!!

    1. Krish

      umm..I think dog biscuits are more your style.

  56. Awadhesh

    Such self styles, insecure, guilty feminists.. haha.. what a funny ad!!!!

    Medha Patkar ke level se bhi gir gaye bechare 😛

    1. AK

      absolutely right!:)

  57. snehasish ghosh

    In Turkey on the day of marriage the male partner offers a cup of coffee to his better-half. The significance of this system is that the male partner will be offering coffee to her during the entire period of their conjugal life. It is a guarantee from his part. The concept of family will have to be imbibed by both the partners. Civilization outside our home stands with everyone’s effort . How it will stand at our home if we remain aloof to our collective duties to hold together the concept of family. Duties of girl and boys are same in the family. It is either overrated or underrated according to the realization of each family.

  58. AK

    Woman empowerment in Indian Society has gone too far already…Now is the question of Men’s empowerment…not women’s anymore…In copying the West…Indian girls are Picking and choosing whatever suits them and whatever doesn’t…Indian Law needs to change now…else these coffee machine loving women will rip families apart by money extortion via divorces that come from their insatiable need for “freedom”…soon the children of future generations will not even be able to guess what rich heritage of India means…and that English is not INDIA’s Only language…

    1. healthywomen

      Gud point.

      1.none of these women are married and are absolutely clueless what true love means

      2.their pride is their career and financial status and zero real values.

      3.they talk about saving millions of lives with their career but they wont be able to save their own child if it were mistreated by the high paid servant or nanny when they are busy with their job.

      So wat is the use of all this money if you cant save your own house.

      4.mother who sacrifices and works because she has no choice is saluted.but a mother who is selfish and filled with greed to get an ipad is not a mother but a devil.

      Education which is filled with oversized pride, roof shooting ego towards the husband and dont care attitude towards children is USELESS.

      A homemaker mother that spends morec than 10hrs with her children caretaker good children.wat exactly can a selfish greedy career mother who spends less than 4 hrs do better?

      The number of Americans now opting to stay at home with their own children has increased highly.and the number of Indians that pack of their kids to india or leave them here in daycare has significantly increased. This is truth

      Who can protect kids younger than 3 year old better than the mother?? Think india.u save stray dogs you talk about orphans.then you orphan your own kid for extra money.just because you dont want a break in your career.

      Women’s rights makes us forget what it really means to be woman.

      Man and woman are different thats why we are created different.

    2. Ashima

      Dear healthywomen (btw find a better pseudonym next time),

      Yes, you got this right. I am not married. But guess what? My parents are. I have seen what true love is at my home. True love means to share equal responsibilities. It means to share the joys and the sorrows of life together. It means to support each other. It means to care for each other. And it means to become successful together. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE WOMAN HAS TO SERVE THE MAN. SHE ISN’T A SLAVE AND THE MAN ISN’T THE MASTER.

      There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking pride in one’s career and financial status. I am a banker and I take a lot of pride in the work I do. I love to meet the people I do and go to the conferences I go to. That provides me with immense satisfaction and happiness. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have “real values.” My parents have brought me up with knowledge and grace and encouraged me to read voraciously and meet people from all walks of life which has made me a better person. And just to let you know, values aren’t something only women are supposed to possess. Men are supposed to have values too since they are also human beings. And by your statement you generalize that all men don’t have real values either since men are stereotypically associating themselves with their careers and financial status. While you have chosen the name healthywomen to post this disgusting comment, I would like to inform you that not only are you maligning women, you are also doing a grave disservice to men as well. My father while having a very successful career also has values and so do the majority of the men I have met in my life. And saving a home isn’t only a woman’s responsibility. It is a man’s responsibility too. So if the family disintegrates it is both their faults. Not just the woman. My mother is a working woman. And both my brother and I have been brought up with a lot of values, care, compassion and dignity thanks to BOTH my parents. No one is disrespecting housewives here. But it is a woman’s choice whether she wants to work or not. So let her make the choice. I believe this video was posted on YKA as well. But just for you, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB3xM93rXbY. This video demonstrates how important the role of a mother is in our very society, and how selfless she is. So before you call a mother selfish please rethink again. Because you are disrespecting all mothers on this planet, including your own. And trust me, no one, man or woman, works to get an iPad. Please! We have better things to do in our lives! We work for dignity, identity and self-respect – things money cannot buy. So please find better analogies if nothing else the next time you post.

      And since you have brought up the stereotypical and baseless comparison of America to India, let me also inform you that in America, before getting married the mother-in-law doesn’t ask her daughter-in-law to marry her son to make coffee. In America, people don’t get their sons married to girls based on external virtues of height, skin color, facial features or cooking abilities. So again, please find better comparisons that actually would make a solid argument.

      Women’s rights don’t make us forget what it means to be a woman. It asserts the fact that men and women are both human beings and deserve to be treated equally. They are meant to share the same responsibilities. Men and women are not different. It is your society that has taught you so. Biologically speaking, the only major difference is the reproductive system and the hormones in the body, which make a man and a woman complementary for the reproduction of offspring. And complementary means to work together in conjunction which means to be equal and share the same responsibilities.

    3. Chandu

      *APPLAUSE*!!! 😀

    4. Veena Pravallika

      Awesome!!!! SALUTE!!

    5. Hackster

      Dear Ashima, i didn’t bother to read much from your response because you are trying to sound intellectual but you lack wisdom which is apparent from your first line of response.

      While I may not agree with all of what ‘healthywoman’ said she certainly has a point. What she said was more generalized and to the extreme but it certainly has a point.
      The complain is against so called modern, socalled independent women who is after money, status and career more than family. So how can you not agree? Just because you have ideal parenting and commendable upbringing does not make it right for the entire society. You should have understood that. But you are so self-contained. And don’t suggest anybody names.

    6. AK

      yes!!:)

    7. Ashima

      Dear AK,
      I would like to enlighten you with what money extortion is. Extortion is a criminal offense of obtaining money, property, or services from a person, entity, or institution, through coercion. So in the Indian context that means that money extortion occurs in the form of dowry. Families of girls are societally coerced into giving huge dowries to the bridegroom’s family as they have been made believe that their daughter could never be married off without dowry. Since dowry is illegal it would count as a criminal offense and hence would very rightly classify as “money extortion.” As for divorces, well the couple goes through legal settlements in the court where both parties have capable and accomplished lawyers who present the cases to their best capabilities. And the word legal in itself means it is not a criminal offense, and thus does not classify as money extortion. Therefore before making any retarded comments and making a fool out of yourself, please read up on the meaning of the words you use.
      Secondly, I thought the rich heritage of India had to do with the fact that we are such a diverse country be it in terms of religions, ethnicity, languages, food, celebrations etc. I thought the rich heritage of India was to do with the fact that we have always accepted people and made them comfortable and feel like they belong here (example – Tibetans in Dharamsala). I thought the rich heritage of our country was to do with the fact that we have such a long list of intellectuals, bravehearts and revolutionaries who have not only changed India but also the world for the better. Never for once did I associate India’s rich heritage to be linked to the subservience of women. If anything this (and other issues of caste, creed, and sexuality) is the glitch in our rich heritage. And people are trying to change that in order to maintain a rich heritage which also treats all human beings as equal.

    8. AK

      Yes human beings are equal and there is no justification on why a woman should be disrespected or mistreated anywhere in any country or community, this advert was intentionally made controversial for popularity…
      Media has yet again been allowed to show irresponsible attitude towards society…as not everyone who watches this advert has the experience & understanding that this is just an advert…there are real girls in India who are taking all this too far…standing up for your rights and self respect is not the same as being rebellious about everything…Being a woman is being used as a power tool by so many these days…Women should be respected anyway…this should not be an obligation. It is not the educated and independent women who need what this advert shows…The empowerment needed is for those women who are not even mentioned in the media…who are sold by their parents for money to strangers…the ones who don’t even know what the world map looks like leave aside ‘American groom’…On the other hand the ones who are educated and can even read the Family Law of Indian Constitution are taking a p**s…by using laws like 498 etc… for money extortion…all on the name of woman empowerment…same as the “abla naari” in this advert…how many times has the media shown what men who have lost their jobs, money, children, old parents…have gone through…all because of the “new powerful & equal” women of society…

    9. Krish

      Men don’t need empowerment in a society that has been patriarchal since the beginning of time. And I PITY your POOR F**KING children, if and when you have any. And guess what, I’m a guy, you dumb shit. I’d love to debate this out further in a long, lovely post like Ashima, Snehashish and Chandu have done(appreciate it, ladies and gents) but I know how trolls like you are.

      Wither and rot away with your chains of your so called ‘heritage’. You don’t have a friggin clue as to what heritage means. Learn to love your fellow man(and that includes women, in case you’re confused) before waving culture and nationalism around.

    10. AK

      probably your also were never given home made tea by a woman…else you would have not been this mouthy.

    11. Krish

      “probably your also” wow. Much as I envy your grammar, let me tell you that I enjoy making a cup of tea for a “woman” as much as I enjoy having one. There’s a word called love, another called respect. You might want to look them up in a dictionary sometime.

      And I’m mouthy whenever I meet ignorant, obnoxious people, repressing in the name of the country, culture, heritage, yada yada yada. I love being mouthy and then looking at their faces as they struggle to comprehend what I meant.

    12. Shruti Bhatt

      thanks for saying all this. It made me believe that not all guys ahve gone nuts! 🙂

  59. Garima

    watte add. ek dum jhkaaas.. why should we make coffee for jerks and loosers. Only A caring and Loving husband deserves a coffee from her wife. Cheers !!! 😀

    1. Time4Man

      Exactly! And only a “caring and loving” wife deserves an ATM machine, driver, coolie, financial planner, plumber, electrician etc. as a Hubby… Not the usual GoldDiggers who want to “reign as a queen at sasuraal”
      🙂

    2. Adithya

      Or the one who is earning dollars….hahahaaaaa…..

  60. Anitha

    Whatever it is.. just think what all of you guys would say if her parents say “mein kabse bol rahin hoon settle settle hoja kab tak akele rahegi…. ek saree karid ne ke liye bhi sochna padta hai”. it is not all about what is being emphasized.

  61. DjDas

    Wow. Everyone getting so riled up! Has anyone given a thought as to why a guy ‘working in US’ coming to her home, ladki dekhne ke liye? Why isn’t there some jobless Indian in his place instead? We can all talk about how the patriarchy keeps the woman oppressed, how she is supposed to make coffee, etc. But no one hardly ever talks about the other side of the equation. That is, how men are expected to be ATM machines. How society forces them to work day and night and ‘bring home the bacon’. Why is it that men become eligible for marriage only AFTER he gets a job? Is there any working woman who aspires to marry a jobless man if he agreed to stay at home and make the coffee instead?!?

    The hypocrisy is sad. Because, on one hand you keep expecting the best from men, and simultaneously keep fighting against any expectations culture puts on you.

    1. time4change

      i wud love dat.. if ny jobless guy offers to get married on condition dat he does the house hold work along with making COFFEE i would surely agree..! lemme also see hw well guys can manage the house without complaining, grumbling or without telling how tired they are after a just quarter of the house work..!guys plz change ur views regarding women in India especially.. women are not ny electronic appliance or a piece of furniture in ur house.. learn to respect them.. because they worth it..!!

    2. Hackster

      Sir, You nailed it. Couldn’t have said better.

  62. Time4Man

    Nice ad!
    From now on let All men do their own cooking and All women do their own earning for all her expenses and Gold etc!

    1. s

      ha ha flash news, that’s what 90% women do nowadays in case you are not aware.

    2. time4MAN (@time4MAN)

      >>that’s what 90% women do nowadays

      LOL! Good to know you still remain so much inspired from Pappu!

    3. s

      I don’t know what you mean by that. Please show me the percentage of women who could easily find a groom without having a profession to pursue other than being a housewife. Either they have a big fat dowry for accompaniment or something to back them up. I have not seen any women around me who are born after 80s and don’t work outside the home nowadays. You must be kidding me if you think that’s not the majority case. Stop pappuing me.

  63. Justspeculating

    He would be more inclined to stay home for coffee instead of going out for coffee regardless of who makes it. The ad is just a joke which as a woman I would never take seriously.

  64. Ankshri

    An awesome portrayal of Indian women seeking brides for their respective sons (irrespective of the fact if he lives in US / India). If your son cant make a cup of coffee on his own ask him to spend some money and invest in a coffee machine or ask him to hire a cook why do u need to marry him off to a girl just so that he can eat.

  65. sandy

    I’m all for removing gender bias but i find this this type of ad that applauds rudeness and disrespect creates more division,
    just see the comments thus far. There is a non-offensive way of tackling the issue and that doesn’t include making fun of an elderly woman. We have to respect their generation and modify our own peacefully and respectfully.

  66. Krishnamurthy Suryanarayan

    Yeh ad jisne bnaya hoga woh bhi apne ma ke haath ka banaya hua pakwan Kha kar hi bada ya badi hui hogi. Aur aaj bhi ghar jaane ke bad “mummy give me some tea/coffee bolta/Bolti hoga/hogi.
    Humne apni aankhon se betiyon ko apne Maon par hukum chalate hue dekaha hai chunke woh padh rahe hai ya naukri kar rahen hai. Agar Ise aap Gender bias ka naam den to yeh aap ki naasamjhi hai. Yeh ad to product bechne ka ek sasta aur ghatia tarqib hai. It is the narrowness of the mind that makes such
    ads and attract the vulnerable people.

    Such things only ads to confusion in society and again the same western worthless poisoning of beautiful Indian social structure is working overtime. Western culture (is there any) can be attractive to some but ultimately it causes permanent damage/pain to the society. The age old joke “Your children and my children are playing with our children” aptly depicts the western nonsense. The mothers desert their children/family for their personal gains. Infidelity is order of their society. Our culture never preaches such things. We are not taught to leave our old parents in Old age homes.

    Education is necessary to make people wise and after acquiring Knowledge you become a complete human being and understand your roles to
    maintain social harmony (house,family, society, nation). I am proud of my culture and tradition and values. What about you ?

    1. Adithya

      Right Sir. I’m proud of Bhaarat.

      Recollecting what Arjuna spoke to KRISHNA about ‘pollution of society’:
      “On destruction of the family, the perennial family dharmas perish. When dharma perishes, adharma [the opposite of dharma] overwhelms the entire family. From the predominance of adharma, O Krishna, the family women are polluted. When the women are polluted, O Varshneya, a confusion of social orders arises.”

  67. Madhav

    Machines cannot replace girl or a boy. Devastating ad for any culture. This is going to bring down sales of the product. This demonstrates arrogance and attitude. By the machines cannot do everything. Human intervention is required in relationships.

  68. Veena Pravallika

    The ad is all about – “woman is not a machine”.. one should learn to watch it in the right spirit.. one cannot marry simply for the sake of getting coffee or food at home… many gals face these kind of awkward situations.. I don’t understand why is it so compulsory for a woman to do everything?? When guys are so independent and when they show off that they work hard for their family, then what’s wrong in making a coffee for themselves?? Y is that so offending? A guy can do anything and everything in his life.. but gets “settled” only to depend on his wife…! And women are expected to work, cook, look after the entire household stuff! The Ad is not about arrogance or negative attitude.. The gal is just giving it back.. women have faced enough crap! Not anymore!! Grow up guys!

    1. Monistaf

      Ms. Pravallika – Did you observe the ad carefully? The man did not utter a single word. The would be mother-in-law is expecting her would-be daughter-in-law to make coffee for her son !! Get it? It is another woman who is expecting this woman to be a “kitchen appliance”. The girl is giving it back, but to another woman. Like I said, in my earlier post, unless women are willing to acknowledge that women themselves are oftentimes, perpetuate traditional gender roles, you are addressing less than half the problem. The man is guilty just by being there, does not have to say anything. That is the hypocrisy in these threads that I would like to call out. Just look at the many comments here, a lot of them just assumed that the guy thinks she is a kitchen appliance, when in fact, the only thing you can get from that ad is that another woman thinks she will get a kitchen appliance when her son gets married.

  69. Time4Man

    Hey Feminist bigots,
    Have a look at this video (recommend to go thru the subsequent videos from that channel to learn more about Misandry and, feminist double standards and bigotry)
    Misandry in the Media http://youtu.be/T1GnQ_k7Vok

  70. Non NRI

    Ha ha ha..! This ad is totally lame, utter bullshit. Beta ek do saal bahar ki country me guzaaro, phir pata chalega.
    Roz khud pakaake khaana padega na 3 time, to saari feminism / masculinity nikal jaegi. Kitchen ka appliance bhai banna padega, vacuum cleaner, kachre ka dabba, detergent ka Sabun sab banna padega.. :p

    The truth is this – most girls in India today can’t cook for themselves. For evrything they run to mummies. Mummyji ki ladliyan.:p… they try to hide their laziness n inability under this feminist bullshit.
    OTOH those who live abroad invariably manage all by themselves, doesnt matter ladka ho ya ladki..

    1. Adithya

      True. Rightly said. Those women who can’t cook or take enuf care like their mothers, pampered and spoiled need some justification for their fallen confidence. Hence, all this feminist bull-shit..

    2. AK

      …so spot on precise and yet so brief :D)))…sab baaton ki ek baat :D))

    3. Snigdha

      I agree with you on the point that irrespective of gender, one should be capable of being self-sufficient. But nothing in this ad indicates that the girl in question can’t cook and clean. It’s the boy who apparently cannot even make a cup of coffee, and instead of doing something about his inability, wants to bring home a girl to do it for him.

      “Kitchen ka appliance bhai banna padega, vacuum cleaner, kachre ka dabba, detergent ka Sabun sab banna padega.. :p” – Ye line aapko is ladke ki taraf direct karna chahiye tha jisne US me akele reh ke bhi coffee banani tak nahi seekhi.

    4. Monistaf

      She is not and should not be treated like a kitchen appliance, but neither should he be treated like a ATM machine, a personal banker, a financial planner, a tax advisor, an accountant, plumber, electrician, carpenter, car mechanic, AC repair man and so on. Unrealistic expectations are made of both men and women, but making a commercial highlighting unrealistic expectations from a woman, would not be that funny or would it?

    5. Chandu

      Honestly, I don’t know what girls are like in India, but I agree with your last sentence: in general, those who live abroad (boys or girls) tend to be more independent and autonomous. At the same time, it doesn’t matter if the girl’s a lazy bum. It doesn’t matter if a guy’s a lazy bum. We shouldn’t have expectations from either group. The girls shouldn’t be expected to sit at home and cook, and the boys shouldn’t be expected to work hard and make money. They should both be free to do what they want to do, including career-oriented girls and guys who just want to sit at home and take care of their home.

    6. Anonymous Indian Female

      Feminism is not an excuse for anything. Don’t undermine the value of women fighting for their rights. I don’t care if you’re right or wrong about everything else you said but feminism and women’s rights are not an excuse. Remember that and respect it.

    7. Gowtham

      Mr. Non NRI, can you please tell me why we man are not able to cook and expect only female to cook, is it due to laziness of men or as you pointed out as inability to do so? In the modern era of world where women is also going to work and have their own aspirations and passions towards many-things which has long has been under the hands of men, you/me cannot expect them to do all things, instead we should start reciprocate or share the responsibility which has been shared by both of them for long.Since they are sharing the burden of us by going to work and earning for family, whats wrong in sharing their responsibility. Only then we would find a meaningful and peaceful life.Hope it makes sense.

  71. valsaraj

    It is correct that the lady (BAHU) is an Individual & one should respect her individuality & consider her as a human being! But, the number of girls preferring & demanding to live without in-laws are also in increase. And what more, there are in-laws who prefer to change to studio apartment to avoid dik-thakt of the BAHU! Also in-laws are exploited as baby sitters! And when a run down condition comes to the same in-laws, the are ditched in a hospital or old age home! I am from Kerala, where the dowry system is not that prominent as that of other states! Also, to great extend Matriarchy is being practiced not only in Nair community but also by others now a days!

  72. Debi

    arranged marriages not arrange marriages

  73. Mohd Babar Shahid

    Women can work as waitresses and serve in restaurants, women can work as airhostesses and serve in planes, but women should not serve their husbands.

    1. PT

      No one should serve anyone! Marriage is a partnership of equals and not of one being subservient to the other. The reason why the mother wants her son to get married is not correct, I think that is what the ad is pointing out.

  74. Gowtham

    We have seen less divorce rate in India compared to other western nations due to only one reason that is all the way husband dominating wife, where in the past we have seen the complete domination of male, where wife is not even allowed to sit in front of her husband and cant even speak anything of her own mind where her role was only to be a sex machine and act as a kitchen appliance ( we have even seen the times where wife has to die by jumping into the fire when her husband dies) and then things came little in favor of ladies(but still at the receiving end by large margin) in the times where they like it or not, they were forced to live with their husbands only because of financial dependence and yes perhaps they might not even know there is something called divorce.So, that’s how the largely their lives has been. Not only in India but every nations would have to gone through this cycle of change.Finally coming to the present situation, things have changed a lot in for the women, where as now they are allowed to work outside, earn on their own, have been allowed get decent education , have taken a roll in decision makings and yes they live a pretty comfortable life now. Having said that, divorce rate would now naturally go north, which we should not take in a negative perspective and try to again curb the female independence, instead the male should start adjusting(nothing wrong in doing that since they are only getting their dues ) and revisit his roles and responsibilities. At last one has to understand that if they have to live together happily all their times without much bitterness, the roles and responsibility should be taken 50-50 or sometimes 40-60 or 60-40. At end of the day without ego both has to adjust and compromise to live a happy life.

  75. Monistaf

    I think most people missed the hidden truth behind this advertisement. The GUY in the video did not utter a word, but somehow, all of us assume that it is his fault. It appears that the mother-in-law to be, is expecting that her would be daughter-in-law will make a cup of coffee for her son in the morning. Why is everybody on this thread making assumptions that MEN feel that women are kitchen appliances. The problem with a lot of women is that they blame men for all their problems, both inside and outside their homes, while failing to acknowledge that oftentimes, the problem is OTHER women. I do not know actual numbers here, but I think a lot of domestic violence, both physical and emotional is either instigated or perpetrated by other women in the household. Women cannot address the issue of domestic violence and pervasive ideas of traditional gender roles, without acknowledging that women are a big part of the problem. Just constantly pointing fingers at men and mocking them is not going to change much.

  76. Rama Kant Pandey

    Yes. One should not expect one’s wife as a coffee machine but should one expect that the wife sit idle wasting her time in gossiping or changing channels whole day for ‘sas-bahu’ serials or movies resulting into not only her mental but physical sickness too . It’s both side convenience and if both are working no one should expect extra favour otherwise family welfare, which is a part of society is also her responsibility.
    Now come to the ad world where eye catching ideas are generated, not necessarily beneficial for society. Even negative ideas are also explored in ads as an eye catching like ads of deos or say men apparels where using them attracts women in the whole area of acres. So i think that ads should be taken as ads only and serious comments are not needed.

  77. Smita

    lOL ! i THINK ITS all about OVER POSSESSIVE mOTHER IN lAWS AND NOTHING ELSE 🙂

    mEN ARE UNDERSTANDING NOWaDAYS

  78. Babar

    I honestly don’t understand the big deal behind a wife making coffee for her husband. In western countries, from Starbucks to Second Cup to Tim Hortons, all coffee shops employ mostly girls, who spend hours and hours making coffee, serving all kinds of men. In India, go to Cafe Coffee Day or Barista Lavazza, and chances are, more often than not, you will find a girl behind the counter, ready to make coffee for you.

    1. Shilpa

      The point being made here is that a man shouldn’t marry just to have someone cook for him. People should get married because they want to settle down, make a home and build a family together. She was trying to say that the prospective groom does not have to invest so much in a marriage when all it took was a kitchen appliance to satisfy his needs.

  79. Loki

    Bullshit and height of overreaction…

  80. Rakesh

    If one person doesn’t make woman a kitchen appliance then hundreds of men will make her a mechanical or electronic device and use her, which is more modern. Only thing is education and lusty men have fooled them to think they are bosses

  81. Nausheen

    This adv is not just about making a cup of coffee. It’s the way the lady talks as if she needs a dil to cook for her son. It’s for all those women who slog all day long in the kitchen to cook for the whole family.

    I love making a cup of coffee for my husband. I know for sure that he din’t marry me just so that he can have someone to cook for him or wash his clothes..

  82. Roger Elle

    Hello Mr. Akhil, Really nice and inspiration video.
    Thanks for sharing it. It is really good and does make a sense at all.

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  85. YrethYavetil

    But still all the actors are fair-skinned. 🙁

    1. TempleTwins

      I wish someone who is dark-skinned was pointing this out. Why taking away the choice of some dark-skinned person to point this out? Why it has to be fair-skinned people, to point out the lack of dark skinned people in this ad? Why do they feel the need to show their fair skin and talk about it? It is some sort of fairness-guilt, just like the white guilt or the male guilt? You are oppressing dark-skinned people with the lack of melanin in your skin, you should check your fairskin-privilege.

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  87. B

    If women don’t want to do anything after marriage, why do they marry in the first place? In India, go to Cafe Coffee Day or Barista Lavazza, and chances are, more often than not, you will find a girl behind the counter, ready to make coffee for you. Women can work in coffee shops and serve all kinds of men (and women), women can work as waitresses and serve in restaurants, women can work as airhostesses and serve in planes, women can work in bars and serve all kinds of men, but the moment a woman serves her husband, feminists go berserk. Is it any surprise that since the feminist movement, with its claims of emancipation and liberation, divorce rates have shot through the roof. The feminist movement, while harming men, is not doing any good for women either.

  88. Vishal Saurav

    Here girl is shattering traditional gender role. If a man will shatter traditional gender roles of being provider and earner, he will be charged with Domestic violence for causing economic violence towards wife. Such a biased society is ours!!

  89. adithya bhagavatula

    Bangon Vishal Saurav
    I’ve stopped purchasing anything that’s Havell’s – they are so cheap in their thinking.

    Let’s contribute to their negative mindset

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

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